[A/N: Are you all ready for part two?👀 Well, I hope you are because here we go!]

"Oh, for f*cks sake, just shut up", I heard someone say loudly from behind Parker, who instantly stopped playing. The voice sent shivers down my spine. I sat up, and got all stiff. Dom gave me a worried look in response to my jumpy actions.
"There are other people around", the voice sounded slightly drunk.
And I knew exactly who it belonged to.
I didn't dare to look at him.
I wanted to run away the moment I heard him.
I wanted to just get away from there, and never look back.

But somehow, I couldn't.

Olivia instantly stood up, and walked towards him.
"Go away, Warren. You can't be here", her voice confident and strong.
"I can be wherever I want- 'cause she", and I could feel him pointing at me. "She put me in juvie and now I'm out so-", he said suggestively, like it was crystal clear.
"Leave", she said, walking closer towards him, sounding almost threatening in the way she spoke.
"I just wanted to have a little talk, that's all-". he began. "Hey Ruthleigh- did you hear that? I just wanted to have a little talk!", and I could feel myself getting more and more skittish. That name made me want to throw up, even though I hated throwing up. It made me feel nauseous and disoriented, and I could feel the thoughts kicking in.
"Huh? Didn't you hear?! I WANT TO TALK TO YOU-", he was shouting now, trying to get my attention while slurring his words like a drunk.
Tap.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
Dom gave me a concerned look, and put his hand on mine. But, I wasn't contactable.
"Hey, let's just go-", Dom suggested, but I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything.
It's your fault.
If you hadn't come here, they wouldn't have to do this and they wouldn't hate you.
Everything will always be your fault.
Slowly, I dared to look up at Warren. He still looked like the high school jock he had been, but worn out. He looked tired, if almost destroyed. And he was staring right at me.
"You ruined everything", he said, and the words were like taking a bullet to my heart.
Because it was exactly what I would tell myself.
And exactly what I had just been telling myself.
It's all your fault.
I could feel tears starting to run down my cheeks, and fall down on my hands and clothes; too scared to make a move a dry them.
"Did you hear that, eh? You ruined everything", he repeated, sounding absolutely furious.
Suddenly, he started walking towards me with a glass bottle in his hand, and raising his arm the nearer he got; getting ready to hit me. And I raised my arms before my face like a shield, the reaction automatic.
That's when Dom desperately grabbed my arms and literally pulled me up on my feet, trying to take off and keep me safe.
But my legs wouldn't cooperate.
He shouted for Carson to get help.
He probably could've carried me by himself, but not when I was in this condition.
I was like a ragged doll, unable to do anything.
"What the f*ck man?!", Olivia screamed, grabbing Warren's arm and almost getting hit herself. From behind, Parker grabbed the arm with the glass bottle. "What's your problem? Go away!", she continued, and tried to push him away. Carson helped Dom to try and take me away from there, but I just kept looking at Warren. There was just pure violence in his look, like he had tunnel vision. Like nothing but hurting me mattered.
And I was frozen by fright.
It's your fault.
Tap. Twitch. Blink.
Why aren't you tapping?!
Start over.
"She's my problem! She's a f*cking rat. F*cking ruthless. I had to go to juvie, and for what? For what, Ruthleigh?", he shouted at me, violently swinging his arms to get free. "And what about Ansel. Huh? WHAT ABOUT ANSEL?!", his voice got louder and louder.
I began to shake unwillingly, my legs unable to carry me even less and I fell down on my knees again.
Now Sherri, Stella and Craig had joined to try and drag him away. And at my side, Haley joined and tried to help get me away from there. Neither Warren or I cooperated with them, even though I wanted to so badly.

They're all doing this, and I barely know them, I kept thinking to myself.

Yet, I couldn't even say a word.
I couldn't even stand up.
Nor walk, even less run.

It was as if my throat had made a knot of itself, my vocal chords all bundled up in a ball.
By that point, I think I had started to cry, the river of tears unstoppable.
Dom said something to me, but I didn't hear what.
The shaking got even worse.
I tried to lean onto the ground and get some support to make it stop, but it just made me shake even more.
"Shut up and go home. You're drunk", Olivia told him, almost growling.
"I'm the victim here, not her. Ansel's in f*cking prison because of her. I had to go to juvie. I'll never get a job. What the f*ck did I do to deserve that?!", he violently shouted, every word punching me from all angles.
You did everything, I thought to myself. You ruined someone's life. You ruin everything.
Dom and Carson finally got me up, my arms hanging on their shoulders as they began to drag me away.
"What the f*ck did I do?!", he shouted once again, still fighting to get closer to me. It was weird, because it made me feel bad for him. Because in all fairness, it was my fault.
It was my fault.

Of course it was.

Tap, tap, tap.
"I'll tell you what you f*cking did", Carson suddenly exclaimed and he let go of me, sounding the most infuriated and angry I had ever heard him. He rarely cursed.
I fell down on the ground again, as Dom hadn't been ready for Carson's turnaround. Carson walked towards Warren, rage in his eyes.
"Rue, just breathe, we gotta get out of here-", Dom told me, trying to reassure me, but I could hear that he was stressed. I just shook my head, knowing I couldn't move.

I didn't know why I was saying no, but maybe it was because I knew what Carson was about to say. And I couldn't stop him.
Even though I didn't want anyone else to know.
Especially Dom.

Dominic looked at Carson, and then back to me, and nodded at Haley to help him carry me.
"You assaulted her", Carson's voice cut through the air. Both Haley and Dom stopped trying to get me up on my feet, both shocked by what Carson was saying. Dom was still holding me, but Haley had let go of me in shock. "You and your brother r*ped her, filmed it and posted it on f*cking social media as a f*cking joke", and with him saying that, a wave of silence hit the group.

I couldn't breathe.

I just wanted to fall to the ground.
And I was about to, because I could feel myself balancing on the edge.
I was, once again, about to shut down.

The images were back in my mind.
Of him. Of Ansel. Of New Year's. Of everything.
I remembered it all too well.

Though Dom was still holding me up, practically hugging me, keeping me from falling to the ground.
Not letting me get hurt.
I could feel him getting uneasy, shocked and affected by what Carson was saying.

I didn't want him to know.
He was the last one I wanted to know about this.

He's going to think you're disgusting.
He's going to hate you.
Why aren't you tapping?

The images, the flashbacks, had all taken over my vision.
It only took a few seconds.
I squinted my eyes closed, absolutely terrified.
Dom held me tighter.
I leant into his sweatshirt, trying to hide away from the world, from the horrifying but yet so sharp images in my mind.
All because he was so familiar.
"And you know why I know that? Because I found the f*cking video", Carson yelled coldly. Even Warren looked surprised, and tried to get loose from the arms that had been holding him back. Now, instead of trying to get to me, he was starting to walk away.
His anger had been replaced with fear.
"I testified. So did Via. You're not the victim. You're the f*cking predator", Carson said every word so precisely, to make their weight make an impact on Warren.

However, they made an impact on me too.
I didn't know that they had testified.

Now, Warren's face was frightened.
"I'll call 911 here and now if you don't leave", I could hear Olivia saying, her voice poignant and cold, as she held up her phone. She knew she had the ascendancy, because she had the number already typed; ready to dial it.
I think that was when Warren finally began to walk away, or run to be more exact.
In a few seconds he was gone.
It's all your fault.
The thought was stuck in my mind.
You ruined everything.
You ruin everything.
You'll ruin everything.
Dom didn't let me go, as we sat there on the grass, just a few meters away from the picnic blanket.
If anything, he held me tighter.
I just cried from fear.
Or from the relief of Warren not being near anymore.
Or from being close to someone who didn't let me go.
I didn't know.

I wasn't really contactable.
Like static on a screen.
It was like I was on the edge of shutting down every second, but I never actually did.
I just got quiet.
And I couldn't really comprehend what they were saying.

I don't know how long it took for them to get through to me.

When they did, it was only Carson and Dom left.
I was still crying.
My head hurt.
"Hey Rue, we've got to get you home", Carson calmly said, and I somehow understood what he was saying.
"I didn't know you testified", I whispered, still unable to comprehend it. I think he was shocked by my response, probably having tried to get through to me for ages.
"I... I did", he replied, trying to sound composed.
"I ruined your fun evening", I said, looking down at my tapping hands.
"I'm pretty sure someone else ruined it", Carson casually replied, a smirk on his face, never letting my bad thoughts win. I looked up at him. He was smiling at me, sadly. I even let myself smile back at him, also sadly.
Dom was sitting next to me.
I turned my head to him.
You could see that he was a little shaken up.
To be honest, everyone was.
Before I could even apologise, he put his arm around my shoulders, but before he did he asked me for consent.
"Is that okay?", he said.
"It's okay", I answered.
"Let's get you home"

Carson walked with us half the way home, until he had to take another street. We both waved goodbye after I had convinced Cars that he didn't have to follow me all the way home, and he had finally given up.

Dom was holding my hand, leading me through the slightly busy streets.
I felt like I never wanted to let go of him.
And I didn't walk fast.
Everything interrupted me.
The thoughts just came running into my mind.
And the routines took up so much time.
Dom talked to me uninterruptibly.
Just trying to distract me.
And all I wanted was to listen and look at him, like I had done earlier today.
But I was still a mess.

When I finally walked through the front door, Lin was already home. It was way past 11 pm, and the show was over long ago.
"Rue!", Lin exclaimed, and ran towards me, joined by Vanessa.
"Oh, god, you scared us", she said, her voice sounding rather worried as she took me in her arms, and I dived into her embrace as I let go of Dom's hand. My eyes were red from crying, but I just burst into tears again.
"What happened?", Lin asked me, but I just continued to weep, unable to find the words. Truthfully, I hadn't really processed it yet.
Lin turned to Dom, who was standing in the doorway.
"What did you do?", Lin asked him, sounding cold as he said so.
Dom hesitated, not really knowing what to say.
"I didn't do anything-", he tried to explain, but neither Vanessa or Lin could see past that. And he couldn't really walk out the door either, so he was stuck in the doorway.
"Well you must've done something! I tell you to get her home by 11, it's past midnight and she's crying-", Lin raised his voice, clearly furious and mainly worried for me. "You know what, just go. Just go", he continued, sounding extremely disappointed.
Pull yourself together, I told myself.
"I...", Dom started to say, but I had had enough.
"We told you to go", Vanessa snapped, which made me wake up. I couldn't let them get angry at him for no reason. If anything, he was the reason I was standing on the doorstep now, and the reason to why I hadn't shut down in the park.
"He didn't do anything!", I protested in the middle of crying, literally just pushing away from Vanessa and took a stand in between them and Dom. She looked at me with confusion. Dom looked slightly out of place.
"Then what happened? You didn't reply to our calls, Rue", and that's when I saw how shaken up Vanessa was. They had probably thought I'd run away, or worse - had gone missing.
Again.
"I'm sorry, I forgot... I-I... I sort of shut down. I don't know how he found us, but Warren Lovell showed up. Maybe he saw on someone's instagram, I don't know, I just- No one got hurt", and that's when I ran out of air. I had somehow spoken clearly.
I looked at their faces, and how they changed when they heard that name. Maybe it was the fact that I was actually saying his name, but they instantly looked concerned. They knew what his name meant for me.
"Just don't be mad at Dom", I said, realising how tired I was at that moment. A long day and a near system shut down really took out the whole of me.
"He kept his promise and brought me home", I argued. Vanessa nodded, listening to me and looked brightly at Dom.
"You did", Lin said and nodded at him too. He tried to look forgiving, but that was probably as much acceptance as I was going to get out of him at that very moment.
I turned to Dom, whose confidence seemed to have lessened in the last minutes.
"Thank you", I told him, and even though I was still shaken up and a little jumpy, and that my eyes were red and I had to wipe my tears away, I smiled through it.
Because who knows what would've happened if he, or Carson, or Olivia, or if everyone else hadn't been there tonight.
"I had a lot of fun tonight. Except for the last part. I'll see you Friday?", I said, though I could barely see myself standing in my prom dress based on how I was feeling right now.
He brightened up.
Which, made me want to be able to see myself in my prom dress.
"Yeah, right. I'll see you Friday", and with that he walked out the door, still confident but a little shaken up, and closed it behind him.
I locked it once.
Unable to do it four times.

My mind was positively spiralling.
New thoughts and old ones peaked inside my mind, telling me to do all the things I had to do so something else wouldn't happen.

Still, the anger grew inside me.
I was furious, to say the least.

I wiped my tears, and turned to Vanessa and Lin. I took my shoes off quickly, only once, hung up my jean jacket just as fast and walked past them, before stopping a few meters later and hastily turning back to look at them.
"You can't do that to Dom! He's like an actual good person, and you can't just shove him away-", I argued loudly, even though I knew, deep down, that they were just trying to protect me.
"Hey, I know Rue, but we did have our reasons to be worried-", Lin said, trying to reconcile with me.
"It's still not okay!", I was shouting now. "Are you going to scare off every boyfriend I ever get, or what?", I was even surprising myself with how I was arguing with them. My arms were shaking from exhaustion, and I was blinking harder and harder by the second.
Everything was overloading.
I twitched, I blinked and I tapped.
There was so much to do.
"No, Niñita, of course we won't, we just got scared for you-", Vanessa said, trying to explain. "We love you, and we really thought something had happened, and something did happen-"
Scratch your wrists.
Sh*t.
"Well it wasn't his fault!", I yelled, frustrated with every single routine and thought that would hit my mind and interrupted everything I did. Lin walked towards me, having noticed how I was fiddling with my hands and getting closer to start scratching my wrists. He reached for my arms, but that instantly and unwillingly made me feel uneasy.
"Hey, Rue-", he quietly and caringly said, but I just backed away into the wall and twitched to the side, and I put my arms up to block him. It was automatic, like earlier.
Like I had this feeling that I had to protect myself.
I didn't want it to happen, but the memories came rushing again, taking over my vision.
"No", I cut him off, the word like a knife.
Lin instantly stepped back, frightened for how I was acting and scared for how I might react if he got any closer.
I squinted my eyes closed, just crying and weeping, scared for myself.
It made me feel bad, because I knew how hard it must be for Lin and Vanessa to see me like this. I didn't want to react like this.
"I don't want to talk about it", I snapped back, scared for my life, while the tears were still coming in. Vanessa tried to say something. I couldn't hear because I had already started talking again.
"I don't want to talk about it. I want to sleep, I want to take a shower, I want to wash it all off of me, I want to tap until it hurts, I want to blink and blink and blink till I get dizzy, I want to I don't know, I want to switch the lights 7 times and stop breathing for a second or two and twitch my head until I get wryneck, but most of all I really really want to scratch my arms until they f*cking bleed and-", and once again, I had run out of air, scared of every feeling inside of me. The swear word had just poured out of me. I never cursed.
"There's so much to do", I continued, my voice weak and powerless. Without hesitation, Vanessa put her arms around me and held me tight. At first I tried to get loose, but then I just let her embrace me and I didn't try to get away. I didn't have any fight left in me for that day.
"I know, I know-", she assured me, as I weeped onto her chest.
"There's just so much to do", I whimpered, again. Vanessa hushed me. "I'm sorry for what I said", I said, feeling bad about having screamed at them.
"I know, Niñita. I know"

—————
Hello!
So, as promised; here's part two🥰 A little more than 24 hours later but I just got glued in front of the TV watching Les Miserables for like the fifth time😅

So, today, I've been working on my application and not doing much else really. Trying to sleep in after five days of skiing and cuddle with my cat🙈 Like every time I go skiing I forget how tiring and exhausting it is. I was knocked out by like 9:30 in the evenings. But I did have a fun time! Although I mostly felt really sh*t at it, because I'm generally quite a scared person. I'm not the one to go and ski the most difficult slopes and I'm definitely not an off-piste skier. I fell pretty hard on the fourth day, and though I didn't get physically hurt it definitely brought my confidence down because I got so scared of falling and actually getting hurt. So I'll have to work on that until the next time⛷ But at least the weather was really nice☀️❄️

Anywho, I hoped you liked the chapter. I really let Rue be a teenager in these two parts, because I feel like that most of her life she hasn't been able to be the age she was❤️

Q of the Day: Do you have a pet?💐
Me? Yep. A gray little cat named Dennis. I introduced him here when we got him a few years ago🐈‍⬛

I hoped you enjoyed the chapter, and if you did, please leave a vote or a comment. It always makes my day💐

Have the loveliest of days,
Sincerely,
H

Published: 27th of February, 2022