[A/N: Are y'all ready for a new chapter? Get something to drink and snack on, it's a good one❤️]

Lin's POV
It was the day after, around 8 am. Rue seemed more at peace, even though she had woken up screaming during the night. And I knew we were going to have to get used to that now. Yet, she was still jumpy, and slightly stressed. But better. Like she had gotten what she needed off of her chest. Though, even now, she was consumed with her own thoughts. As if she was trying to sort out everything, and not really knowing how to move on.

I was helping Sebastian to put on his shoes, but at the same time he was trying to crawl out of my arms - desperately trying to get back to his train track on the playmat. At the same time he was humming a rendition of Twinkle, twinkle, little star, though he did not know the words.
"There we go, bud", I said, kind of exhausted, as I finally had managed to tie the last shoe. Vanessa laughed at me as she walked past with a cup of tea in her hand, headphones in her ears, participating in a meeting from home. I knew very well why. "I know that I insisted on these shoes. Next time, it'll be Velcro ones!", I told her, realising my mistake. She laughed again, smugly this time as she walked off to the living room. I struggled as I put on his red jacket, because Sebastian clearly wasn't chuffed about that either. It was just one of those days.

"Hey, Lin...", Rue wondrously said behind me, her voice clear, but still unsure. I instantly looked up at her as I put Sebastian down to the ground, still holding him tightly so he wouldn't run back inside. "C-could I come with you to the Theater some day?", and as I watched her, I could see how she had to fight to get the words out. Yet, I was so relieved to hear her talking.
"I j-just feel like I haven't seen those people in ages...", she started to explain herself, but I just cut her off.
"Sure, Niñita", I told her, excited about her attempt to try and get herself out of her box, as I tried to support her. Although, I was still worried that I had spoken too soon; because it was only yesterday that she had been quiet. "Just tell me when", I grinned at her, and Rue even smiled a little back at me. It warmed me more than I could describe. She nodded and walked off to her room, keeping her head down, looking at her fiddling hands.
I turned my head towards Sebastian and handed him his small, colourful, backpack. He shook his head, refusing to put it on. I gave up and I put it over my shoulder, while I picked up Sebastian simultaneously. The Twinkle, twinkle, little star was still going strong. I hummed along with him.
"Ouf", I said, as I struggled to try and collect all the things. "You're getting so old, little man!", but Sebastian just giggled. "Let's get you to daycare, shall we?"

I opened the door swiftly, and stopped instantly as I was about to crash into someone.
"Woah-", I said, realising I had almost smashed the door into Dominic. "Hi Dom!", I told him, a little surprised to see him.
He seemed unfazed by the door and then me almost crashing into him. More or less, he looked a little amused by it.
"Hello!", he said, about to crack up. "Sorry, I was just about to knock-", I shook my head.
"No, no. I was just about to head out, my hands full, so it's completely my fault", I said, shaking my head with Sebastian still humming in my ear. "What's up?"
"Is Rue home?", he asked kindly, still unfazed by the situation. He didn't even seem nervous.
The question was familiar. We had been here before. The day before the night of her overdose.
"Um-", I said, looking back into the apartment, and at Rue's room which was at the end of the hallway. Her door was closed.
"I just haven't heard from her since Saturday and I had a free period this morning so I thought I'd come by", and yet again, I was impressed with his confident social ways. And the fact that he was worried for her made me happy. "Is she sick again? 'Cause I make great company and I practically never get sick", still undefeated, and I understood that she hadn't told him.
I thought it over carefully.
She'd been so happy to see him on Saturday.
She'd been so proud of herself.
Still, she was only getting back from the quiet.
"I know, Dom. Wait here", I said, deciding that it was worth a shot. I walked back into the apartment with Sebastian on my arm and his backpack over my shoulder. I knocked quietly on her door, even though it was left half open. "Rue? Um, Dom's here. Do you want me to send him away?", almost expecting her to say no, as she sat by her desk, writing something. So, as she looked back at me within seconds, telling me the answer, I knew I had done the right thing asking her.
"No, don't!"
I instantly beamed at her.

Rue's POV
Before I'd even thought about it, I'd said yes. Even Lin seemed surprised by it. Yet, he was smiling. So I guess my reply made him happy. Which, made me happy, because of my deep need to please people.
I practically jumped out of my seat, leaving my pen and untouched paper behind. As I followed Lin to the door, I realised that I was slightly nervous. What would I say to Dom? That I had gotten ill again? The flu? And so I was gone for three days? Maybe I just shut my phone off?
Or maybe I'll just tell the truth?
Don't you dare.
The thoughts were still very much there.
He won't go near you again if you do.
It would never go away.
You have to hide it.
I knew it didn't make sense, but I would always believe it in some way.
And it would never leave me alone.
"Well, we gotta go, see you tonight, Niñita", Lin quickly said right before the doorway, hugging me as well as he could with Sebastian in his arms. "Good seeing you Dom", he said, nodding towards Dom before I'd even given him a look.
"Good seeing you too!", the genial Dominic said back, hand up, waving. "Hey", he said, turning to me.
"Hi", I said quietly, a little awkward. "Come in", I forced the words out, as I did exactly what I wasn't supposed to.
"Well, thanks, thanks", he said nicely, jokingly taking a bow and walked inside.
"You're not skipping school are you?", I said, as a thought had struck me that he was indeed doing that. Because of me. I sounded worried, but I tried to cover it up by joking. I tapped on the pattern I liked. He swiftly took off his shoes and jacket.
"No, no. Free period", he laughed. "It was this or studying", the remark making my heart flutter. At the same time he was greeting a very excited Tobi, who quickly got bored when Dom didn't pet her constantly and returned to her sleeping spot. I lead the way to my room.
"And you decided not to sleep 'til ten minutes before class?", I asked, still tapping. Ready for him to leave any second. Ready for him to realise I wasn't worth his time. As we passed the archway to the living room, I could feel Vanessa's eyes looking at us; beaming. Probably because this was the first time I had invited anyone in weeks, or even months.
"I chose you over sleep. That's a good rating", he told me, smiling at me. I blushed, not really knowing how to reply to the remark, as we entered my room.
"Very clean room. Very you, Ruth", Dom told me as he looked around my space, and I didn't have to worry about replying to the compliment anymore. I rolled my eyes.
"Gee, thanks. Does yours usually look the opposite, or what?", I laughed, sitting down on my spinning desk chair.
"Not really. I go in week-long circles. The mess builds up until I get a feeling that cleaning my room is needed. Usually I clean to procrastinate doing something else. And then the circle starts over", he looked over at me swiftly, as he inspected my shelves. I didn't have much on them but a few pictures, sewing supplies, playbills and books. "At least you have good taste in books. Though, I have only really seen the movie adaptations", which surprisingly made me burst out laughing.
"You do realise how much of a crime that is to book lovers?", I said, slowly letting my guard down. He was just so easy to talk to.
"I just don't like reading! I read what I have to read in school. That's it", Dom said, pushing up his glasses, walking around in my room. I giggled. He looked out my window. "Wow, you've got a view of the GWB from here!", he exclaimed, and continued to open my window at that very second.
"Wait, Dom, I don't think that's a good idea-", I said, a little hesitant, as he stepped out onto the fire escape connecting my and the living room window. Yet, he just smiled at me, not seeming to have heard what I'd said.
"Come on, you're telling me you never go out here?", and from my chair, I just shook my head, as I tapped in the pattern I liked. "Well, you're missing out", he smugly said, and I stood up against every what if in my head, as I followed him out on the fire escape.
"Okay, okay. But it's your fault if I fall down!", I said, to which he just chuckled.
Little did he know I was more scared of him falling down than me.

As I stepped through the window, the warm air hit my face, as the sun was warming up the city towards the summer. The sounds were slightly distant, as we overlooked the city from my safe corner of the world. I tapped, scared I might fall down as I kept to the brick wall, sliding down into a seated position next to Dom. I blinked, believing it would minimise the chance of him falling. I had forgotten how much I'd missed the spring air over the last couple of days. I took a deep breath, taking it all in, as the sun hit my face for the first time since Saturday.
"I love springtime. Everything begins again", I said, trying to block out the noise of the city by hoping Dom would distract me with his thoughts put to words.
"I get your point. But, I'm more of a summer person", a statement that was the exact opposite of what I thought he'd say. "I know; everyone loves summer. No school, just doing whatever you want. Best days of our lives. Which makes me just like everyone else", he said, as he looked at the people walking below us. Some chatting, some running late and some walking slowly while listening to music.
I couldn't recognise the picture he was painting in my past summers. Maybe, the time when I had went to the park with my biological Dad when I was little. Only, to then get lost and realise he had left me behind.
I shrugged my shoulders, nodding a little, still tapping frantically.
"By the way, did you see the photos I sent you? I finished editing them the other day", Dom said casually, and I instantly felt bad about having gone quiet again.
I hadn't even looked at my phone once.
"No, um...", I said, turning around, reaching for my phone that I had put on my desk earlier this morning, the moment after I had looked at it and gotten overwhelmed by the texts and notifications. "I haven't been on my phone", I continued, over explaining as always. I unlocked it, seeing that Dom had texted me a few times as I scrolled up to see the photos.
The first one was a close portrait of me from the side, looking out over the water from the Highbridge. I had my hand up, putting my slightly curly hair that had escaped behind my ear. I was smiling - with my eyes, too. I could barely believe that that girl in that very photo was me. It looked like the person I wished that I could be all the time.
It was me, but happy.
Not glorified.
But real.
Just me.
I swiped to the next one. Another one of me, but standing further away, looking right into the camera lens this time. I was laughing at something, but I couldn't remember what.
The next one was the one I had taken of Dom. It was out of focus, but it was clear that Dom's face was kindly laughing at my incompetence, but still letting me try. It just radiated happiness.
And so it went on.
"These are amazing", I said, looking at every detail of every picture, only to return to the first one. It looked like me. "Honestly, Dom. You're amazing. Thank you", I told him, as I looked up, straight into his eyes.
He didn't look nervous, or eager, or proud for that matter. He just looked carefree, as he was trying to hide away his talent.
"And thank you for standing in front of the camera", he charmingly said, gently pushing his shoulder into mine.
"Can I put this as my Twitter profile picture?", I asked, genuinely wondering, as I held up the phone with the portrait on the screen.
"Sure. I'd take it as a compliment", he shrugged his shoulders, grinning a little.
Within seconds I was logged onto Twitter for the first time in months, the amount of notifications making my heart pound in a bad way. I quickly changed my profile and tweeted it, picture attached.

@ruemarkable:
My friend @dommoreaufletcher is too talented. So, thank you very much for the new profile picture, Dom.

I realised he was tweeting a reply, as I looked over.

@dommoreaufletcher:
Well, thank you & you're welcome, Rue.

It didn't take long until my phone started beeping with notifications . I tried to ignore it, but it was constant. I just hoped it would fade out. I tapped quicker.
"So what have you been up to?", he asked me, his tone giving off a feeling that he was genuinely interested.
You can't tell him.
Well, I spent three days in silence, panicking about a trial - my trial - and whether I should take part or not. I also had several flashbacks, night terrors and panic attacks. I also almost passed out during one.
I had literally stopped functioning.
Not that I could tell him that.
"Not much. Just been trying to catch up with school", I said, lying because it was the only thing I could possibly do. "You?"
The notifications increased.
"Same. School, homework. My little sister had her 8th birthday party. Disney themed. She was Belle. I was the Beast", he scoffed, the thought of him dressed up as the Beast made me laugh. "But you're alright?", he asked, genuinely interested, probably not believing my façade. I took my phone up again, thinking that I couldn't handle the notifications anymore, on a quest to turn off the sound.
"Yeah, I'm fine-", I began to say as I looked at the screen, quieted by the sheer amount of tweets. I stopped breathing for a millisecond. I felt my heart beat faster, because of what they were saying. "No, no, no-"

@quintamintielou:
hey do you guys see that on her arms? tell me i'm not making this sh*t up

@hxmiltoners:
Wait are those what I think they are. Is she okay??? @ruemarkable are you okay??❤️

@thisdumbfandom:
Hah. Knew it. She deserves it.

@hamsxronan:
We're here for you Rue❤️

@linpiplesdavantrenjazzoakchris:
Wait is that what I think it is

@broadestofways:
Honestly so refreshing to see someone posting something like this and not caring about what people will say. Go you, Rue!👏

@thisdumbfandom:
"Too talented". Ugh. He couldn't even photoshop those disgusting scars out.

@hopefuldreamersclub:
honestly is she alright bc that is def self h*rm

@evelynandwesley:
You do realise she can see all your tweets right? She might not want to talk about it so please kindly shut up

@quintamintielou:
okay it wasn't just me. she's been gone forever and now she just pops up with that? like what's going on i'm worried

@thisdumbfandom:
Gross.

I swiped through them all, getting a glimpse of each and every one of them. I could feel the weight on my shoulders grow heavier as I began to panic.
"Sh*t, I... I...", I started saying out of the blue, just staring at the screen as new tweets popped up. Even though they were positive, it hurt. I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want anyone to ask.
Because what if everyone saw?
"What's going on?", Dom said, and I'd forgotten he was sitting next to me all this time.
Don't cry.
Don't let him see.
I swallowed anxiously, just blankly staring at the words on the screen. Then, I looked at the picture.
And you could see it so well. Too well. How could I have missed that? Because between the hand that was putting the lock of hair behind my ear, and the jean jacket I was wearing, you could see the scars. Almost healed. But you could still very much what they were.
Scars.
Of my own doing.
And what if everyone saw?
I tried to sit up straight to make myself seem braver than I was. I didn't look at Dom. And, against all the protests in my mind, I thought to myself that I might as well say it.
Don't panic.
He'll see you.
And he'll leave you.
"Th-th-they can see my scars", the words twisting and turning in my mouth before they got out, as I was shakingly both deleting the tweet and my profile picture. "I didn't see them", I was fully hyperventilating now. "What if someone saved the photo? What if-"
Would they like what they saw?
I looked at my phone.
I had deleted it all.
And shut it off.
Or would they hate it too?
Would Dom hate me too?
He will.
He was quiet.
I forced myself to look at him.
He looked thoughtful, not nervous.
He didn't look uneasy.
More or less, he looked a little confused.
And as if he was feeling bad about the photos.
"It's not your fault, I just didn't see them earlier-", I said, trying to make it sound like an apology, thinking I had hurt him even though I, in hindsight, hadn't. "...you saw the scars on my arms, right?", I hesitantly asked, frightened of what he was to say.
"What scars?", he said, putting on a kind smile, as if he was completely unaware of them; trying to make me feel better. I stared at him helplessly, having put my guard down the second those tweets came in. I couldn't control nor ignore the panic that it had initiated. "I saw them, Rue, but I don't care if you have scars on your arms-"
Here goes nothing.
Don't you dare.
I rolled up my sleeves, revealing the bandages that were covering my arms. In some spots, they were red from blood that had dried up from yesterday.
"What if they're not just scars, Dom?", I asked, my voice on the verge of breaking as I was fighting every urge and routine my mind could possible come up with. Instead they were piling up, making plans on how I would have to be punished for not doing anything correctly. "What if they're not just scars?"
Don't cry.
The question hung in the air.
I was just waiting for him to walk away, and leave me. I tapped and blinked but tried to hold in the twitches. I didn't want him to see.
He seemed to pick his words with great care, but on the other hand his reply seemed made up on the spot.
As if he was saying screw it to whatever thoughts he had.
I wished I was like that.
"I could say that I don't care, but I do. I care about you. I really do. Because I really like you, Rue", he said, quite calm and collective.
I got quiet.
Not the bad kind of quiet.
Just quiet.
Tried to process his words.
"You like me?", my voice quiet, almost breaking as I helplessly said the words.
Every thought within me told me the opposite.
He laughed.
"Of course I do", his eyes smiling. "Why else would I be sitting on your fire escape on a Wednesday morning?", putting his arm around my shoulders. It made my heart flutter. In a good way.
Though, I continued to tap in the pattern I liked. Blinked a little, too. Trying to process it all.
"I don't know", I managed to reply, a little embarrassed, looking at my hands as I was tapping in the pattern I liked.
"Exactly", he said, finding my eyes, smiling.
I scanned his behaviour.
He seemed to be telling the truth.
He didn't seem uncomfortable looking at my arms.
He didn't seem to feel uneasy because of me.
He didn't seem to hate me.
But he did seem a little nervous.
"I like you too, Dom", I said after a while, basically fighting for those words to come out of my mouth.
He looked at me with relief on his face.
"Well, thank god for that, Rue. Because I've been wanting to tell you that for a while now", he smiled at me, his dimples showing.
I smiled too. And I even smiled with my eyes.
I was still tapping though, and rolled my sleeves down just in case he didn't want to see the bloody bandages. He returned to people watching, and I followed his lead as the sun shone on us.

He was just so easy to be with.
All I could focus on was the fact that he had his arm around my shoulders.
We stayed like that for a while.

"So you're not actually fine, are you?", his question was kind, and asked calmly. No pressure for me to explain. Or reply.
He was just looking out for me.
I cleared my throat.
"Depends on what you mean by fine. To my definition, this is me sorta fine", the words just slipped out so easily. "If you would've asked me yesterday, or the day before that, I wouldn't even have answered you", I concluded, jokingly but sincerely pointing to my arms. "But I bet you already figured that out"
Dom chuckled.
"Sorta", he replied, looking out over the view to the GWB. "Do you mind telling me why?", his question wondrous, curious and attentive.
"Long story", I said.
"I've got all day", he said, only to stop and take a look at his watch. "Well, until 9:30"
I laughed.
"You're still getting the short version", I still told him, because I wasn't ready to tell him it all.
"And?", he jokingly said, anticipating what I was to say next. He didn't seem to be bothered to only hear the short version.
"I haven't got the flu. So you don't have to worry about that", which got a laugh. I tapped.
I took a deep breath, figuring that he might as well have to hear this from me now rather than later.
"When life gets too much, I shut down. On a bad day, all that's needed could be the sound of an ambulance. Top that off with a touch of OCD, which is more like an abundance. I tap-", I said, gesturing towards my hands. "Blink", I blinked. "Twitch", I twitched. "For the most part. And in rare cases, I dig my nails into my arms and wrists and scratches until it bleeds", I told him, gesturing towards my arms, looking straight at him - just waiting for the break in the glass. Just waiting for him to leave. Because my mind had convinced me he would. "And so much more. All because I'm convinced something bad will happen if I don't"
I breathed for the first time since the first sentence, proud of myself for ripping off the bandaid. Even though I had left out the part about the kidnapping. And many other parts.
That'll have to be for another time.
If he stays.
"But you're okay now? At this very moment?", he asked, not breaking eye contact.
No questions about what I hadn't said.
No pushing me to tell him more.
"Yeah. I'm okay, Dom", I said, because I really was. "Are you?"
He beamed at me.
"I'm okay too, Rue"

—————
Heya!👋
So yeah, it's a feel good chapter. I think we could all use one, considering how Rue's been feeling in the last chapter💐

So, how are you all? Well, I hope you're feeling good😌 I'm okay, just going along with life. I'm working more during late November and December bc of obvious reasons, and I'm about to finish up on my classes🎉 So I'm really trying to not get stressed and do things I love when I'm not working or studying. Like writing this and reading, seeing friends and family, and taking it easy whenever I can🌻

And I finally got to write some more Rue & Dominic scenes! You don't even know how long I've been waiting for this🥰
So. Are you a Rue/Dom supporter?👀

Also, December is just a week away! Very exciting. I love how the houses lit up with decorations and lights, and how cosy town gets. And I'm very excited to spend Christmas with more family this year❤️

I also got to see Tick, tick, boom the other day and I loved it. It just felt very real, and not like a typical movie musical? Plus, the acting! Gosh it was good. Now it's onto seeing Dear Evan Hansen(though I've heard it has gotten a lot of bad reviews so idk how to feel but I'm still excited) and then West Side Story(RACHEL ZEGLER NATION WHERE YOU AT?) which I'm super excited about!🎉

Q of the Day: Any upcoming film you're excited about?
Me? Last Night in SOHO bc it looks fantastic. And Anya Taylor-Joy is in it. Gotta get to the movies 🍿

Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and if you did, please leave a vote and a comment too💓 It makes my day!🙌

Have the loveliest of times,
Sincerely,
H

Published: 23rd of November, 2021