Lin's POV
It was 7 in the morning, and I'd just gotten off the phone with the police. For the fourteenth time this last 24 hours. Two of which had been in person.
Vanessa gave me a wondering, tired look. We hadn't slept a second.
She didn't look too hopeful, as she saw my disappointed face.
"They're looking through the security footage. Nothing this far", I mumbled, sitting down.
"Are they still asking about publicising an amber alert?", she asked, leaning onto my shoulder.
"Yeah. But, it may help, Vanessa-"
She sighed.
"No. It's Rue we're talking about", cutting me off and closing her eyes. "When we find her - it'll only make things worse", she said, defending her recurring statement.
"If, if we find her", I mumbled, giving my phone another glance as it was charging on the table in front of me.
"Shut up. We'll find her", she snapped back at me and my pessimistic self, walking off to call Carson once again. The calls seemed to never end. Carson, Mum and Dad, Jon, the police.
I'd eventually told Jon to tell the rest of the cast, as I'd bluntly said that I wouldn't make it into work today.
But, I wasn't giving up.
Never.
I'll never let go of her, ever again.
I was just being realistic as the constant hope slowly but surely began to drip off.

At ten o'clock, my phone vigorously began to ring, awaking me from our own investigation, that'd been going on since I got home.
Looking through her texts, emails or whatever platform that may have threatened her.
The phone had been found in the café, placed on a tray.
She never left things behind. Either, someone was forcing her or she'd been so stressed that she initially forgot.
I took up my phone, deep into her following on twitter.
"Hello?", I said, my tiredness making my voice raspy and my mind confused of the number I'd called so many times in the past hour.
"Yes, is this Lin Manuel Miranda?", the formal person said, making me shake my head into a state of somehow being able to comprehend information from them.
"Yes, it is - sorry that it took a while to pick up", I yawned, but then realising who I was speaking to. "Any news?", I hoped, asking for a good response.
Vanessa looked up at me from her laptop, hearing my hopeful self.
"We've found the vehicle Ruth was transported with. We need your approval of sending a force to the housing where Ruth is thought to be, as the owner has a criminal record regarding Ruth and could potentially be threatening-"

Slowly through the sentence I realised what it meant.

I began to shake, once again.

My eyes lit up, stuttering the next part.
"Y-yes. Do whatever you can, ju-just get her home"
"Of course, Mr Miranda. We'll do our best", she said, and hung up.
I looked at Vanessa. Relieved. Panicking.
"Maybe. Maybe, V. She might come home", I let out, biting my lip as the tears came rolling down our faces.
She'd been eavesdropping, and I'd been talking.
No explanation needed. She'd heard it all.

Maybe.

Please, tell me it's more than a maybe.
I want her beside me. I want to see my daughter's face light up at one of my joke, I wanted to see her play with Seb-
I wanted her here, seeing her growing up.
Giggling, talking, ticking.
I wanted someone to flick the lights, maybe once or twice. Rhythmically tapping the next thing.
I wanted to see us all move around in this house, in harmony, like a harmony.
I wanted her to smile, to argue with her, to make her happy,
See her go to school, to help her with her homework, to assure her that everything was going to be alright.
To be okay.
Just fine.
I wanted my daughter right here. Right next to me. Or in her room, in the kitchen, in front of the TV. Just here.
That would be enough.
And it's almost like praying, as me and Vanessa seemed to think the same things.

Rue's POV
He was in there. The journalist. Looking at me from afar, as I'd lay on the floor, comulating routines onto each other, being unable to do them.
He was staring right at me, holding a now very visible gun.
I'd been blacked out through the night, feeling more and more sore the more I passed out and woke up.
Once or twice I'd heard him, felt him, shoving me into the corner, then the next time I woke up, I was under him, and now - he sat across the room and across the universe.
The blood had dried and the open cuts from scratching itched.
"You've made it quite a habit of yours, y'know, ruining others? First that old foster family of yours, then me...", he mumbled, walking towards me. Right now, I wasn't quite aware of what was real and what wasn't.
"It's just a matter of time before you'll ruin your current foster family", I started breathing more heavily at that one, my defense mechanism starting to show as I forced myself to blink 4 times.
"I mean, your dad and I - we used to joke about you ruining his life, y'know", he laughed, starting to point the gun towards my head. "Then he died. And it's your fault. And when I, I finally found you - you decide to ruin mine? What do you say about that? Isn't it about time for me to ruin yours?!", his voice going from low and creepily comforting, to shouting - louder and louder, as I stopped breathing, when he pressed his hand on my throat. Maybe it was better to kill myself, than let someone else do it.
That someone being one who knew my biological dad. Who told me he was dead. And it was my fault.
Why aren't you tapping? Can't you tap? You ruinous, weak, freak. TAP!

Forte.

As I squished my eyes closed, forcing myself to tp, there was a bang.
And another. People running, shouting. He stood up, taking the tip of the pistol off of my forehead, and as it released began to breathe again.
There was another bang, next to me, this time. I opened my eyes, looking at what had been a door, but what seemed to be a door on the ground.
I forced myself to glance upwards, seeing people in uniforms standing in the doorway, telling the journalist to let go of the gun in his hands, which he commuted from aiming at them, to me.

"Let go of the gun, mr Leighton-", the words started to echo in my mind. Leighton? My name's Leighton? Why are they calling him that?

Someone shot someone, which resulted in a scream next to me.
In the next millisecond a bullet flew past me, as I heard the wind blow by my ear, and it hitting the wall behind me. I shut down. My body did, as that was the only defense mechanism that it seemed to have gathered over the years.

I felt my body being transferred onto some sort of stretcher, people doing different tests on me as they talked about me with stressed and quieted voices. Taking me away - away from that place. My stiffened self, always on edge refused to calm down. It was like when I couldn't turn off. But, completely different. I didn't do anything. I just layed there, breathing heavily, feeling my heart beating out of my chest as I sweated floods. I was out. Far away from there. Then, why did I feel as if I was dying?
I began to shake uncontrollably, and hands held me down.
And then I somehow passed out again, to only come back and tap my leg whenever I could force myself to. Because maybe, maybe, that would make the feeling of dying better.

The next time I could comprehend my surroundings, it was quiet. Next to me, I heard someone breathing. Light hitting my face. I blinked a few times, blinded by it.
All the routines stacked in the back of my head, the ones I'd missed, weighing me down like Ferdinand the Bull sitting down on a bee, mashed together with a headache as I directly began to tap.
I looked to the right, gazing towards the window where the golden hour sun was seeping through, seeing Vanessa sitting on a stool, right by me.
"Hey Niñita, hey...", Vanessa's very familiar voice said, as she calmly pressed my hand, smiling. I exhaled in relief.
I felt the tears roll down my cheeks and onto the hospital-smelling bedding.
Somehow she seemed so quiet, thinking of the situation we found ourselves in - and that's when I realised what I was here for. To this point it had seemed so normal, but from that moment on I frantically looked from side to side, as I tried to get my breath back to normal while tapping and tapping and tapping.
I saw the bandages and those tubes connected to my arms, pumping whatever liquid into my veins and the fact that I wasn't in control anymore.
The headache grew stronger as I sat up, with a mission to rip the IV and tubes off of me - but I fell down again, losing the sense of all balance my body had to offer.
"I'm sorry-", I said, it being the only one liner I seemed to know - and even that one I could get out properly as every breath hurt, and every tone I tried to take came out as someone who'd caught the train to cold town.
With tears in the bottom of my throat, and soon to fall down from my eyes, I tried to say it again - but, Vanessa had already understood what I was trying to say.
"Don't be, Ruthie...", she said, sounding like she was on the verge of crying, too. "I'm just so happy to have you here-"
All of a sudden, Lin stood in the doorway - holding onto two cups of to-go coffee cups that looked to be steaming hot. His hair almost done, like an outworn hair tie had lost its purpose.
Vanessa nodded towards him.
His relieved smile beamed at me; even though the dark rings under his eyes said that he'd barely slept, just like with Vanessa.
There were tears in his eyes.
Lin quickly and quietly put the cups to the side and soon he had his arms around me, hugging me carefully. Like he was afraid I was going to break as his messy hair would tickle me.
"Hi", I tried to say, but it more or less came out with a breath with a raspy undertone.
"Shhh, Niñita. You've taken a few punches to throat, so you have to stay quiet for a lil' while. Okay?", he said, sounding like he was heartbroken about that.
I nodded, crying, until that moment was over a few seconds later when multiple doctors and nurses came bursting through the doorway.

Lin forcefully let go of me, and Vanessa did a few milliseconds later, when a nurse kindly asked her again.
"It'll only take two minutes, Niñita, I'm right here-", Vanessa said, but hastily their arms on me, and I could slowly feel the anxiety hitting me. I wasn't in control. I needed to be in control.
A machine next to me started beeping.
I furiously looked from side to side, while blinking as fast as I could.
I let them do whatever they did. Like a rag doll, I just laid there, waiting for it to be over, too scared to tell them to stop as my heart rate went up a notch from every touch.
I let myself go.
Like Tobi at the vet, just enduring that horrible trip to the vet - that was me right in that moment.
And then the hands were gone.
I stared into thin air. I laid my head to the side.
Then, I'd nod to the many questions. Or shake my head.
Soon, I closed my eyes; falling victim to the routines as I couldn't put up with the weight of them no longer.
Tap. Blink. Twitch.
At least I could control this.
Control freak.
I'd hear how they kept talking, or more mumbling next to me as they filled me in.
But, I was here.
I was right next to them. To the ones I'd never thought I'd never see again.
I was safe.
Vanessa held my hand. I carefully tapped hers; and she, she'd never mind that.

—————
Hey there!
So, I'm back and I've finally had such a writing flow in the past week, one that I've been looking for for ages✌️
Well, it's a little chapter. A heartbreaking one. Sorry.
But, hey - Rue's back with V & L and I haven't had writer's block? Hopefully you'll see a lot more of me, and a lot more often💓

Also - thanks for always bringing new people to the fanfic, spreading the word. And then always commenting and voting. Thank you. It means the world to me😌

Well, I don't have much to say, really - so tell me in the comments what your thoughts on the fanfic are, or if you've got a question for me about it; let's make this a little Q&A, shall we?🙈

Also, the streets and houses are covered in snow at the moment - and I'll hopefully go skiing this weekend👌 Though, I did fell over with my bike this morning as I was on my way to the bus because it's black ice on the road and it is not fun. Didn't hit my head, but y'know, I'll have a pretty big bruise on my leg tomorrow. Looking forward to biking later again, on my way home😅

And with that I hope you'll have a great day/night/morning/evening wherever you are🌎🌍🌏,
Sincerely,
H

Published: 29/1, 2019