I yawned, looking at Carson with a face that only gave away a vibe of being lost.
"Sorry. I just don't get it", I said, looking down at my scribbled notes of today's class.
"Yes, you do. Look here - you solved these four ones", he laughed, as I glanced the problems with a blank face - solving them easily.
My hands weren't quite healed from Friday. The deep scars wouldn't ever go away. The probability wasn't in my favour.

A little girl dropped a plate at the other side of the Café, making me turn my head and blink four times.
I was so tired.
I'd taken 7 pills this morning and I still couldn't focus.
"Hey, solve this then...", Carson said, pointing at the left page of my math book.
I gave it a look and tapped my thigh as the surrounding people's voices became louder and louder.
It was Tuesday, which meant studying with Carson. Usually we just ended up talking, but he was writing an important essay in the midst of helping me.
I blinked a few times, biting my tongue.
I then looked away, still writing as I did the calculations parallel to the routines.
Dot.
"And you want my help?", Carson laughed, and I gave him a strange look, not entirely sure what he meant. "That's my math book. Not yours"
Penny in the air.
Oh.
Penny drops.
"Oh", I looked down, almost ashamed of having complained to him about not getting it.
"Do you want an ice tea?", Carson said out of the blue, looking up from his laptop.
"Sure. Peach, please", I said, writing a text to the family chat, pretty sure he's already left before I said what I wanted.

<< I'm with Cars. Home in an hour or so😌

Cars put down a peach ice tea in front of me, and a lemon ice tea for him.
"Peach ice tea, without any decorations, like some sort of leaf", looking back at our first Café trip on Valentine's Day, where I'd taken out every single leaf or other decoration as I couldn't stand it being blended.
"Thanks", I beamed at him.
Though, I was way too polite to ask for a plain tea.
Therefore, Carson always ordered.
Every Tuesday.

"I've gotta go and work", Carson said after 45 minutes of talking, leaving the schoolwork behind.
"Oh, absolutely. Though I wouldn't call it work, like, you cuddle with dogs all day long. That's a luxury", I said, giggling as he started to pack his things together.
"Nah. There are a lot of new puppies right now though. So double the cuddle and add a ton of cleaning", he added, laughing.
"Oh, well. What's a royal ball? After all, I suppose it would be frightfully dull, and-and-and boring, and-and completely... Completely wonderful", referencing Cinderella, knowing our Disney-loving selves. "I've got homework to do, believe it or not"
We both laughed.
"Anyways. Byeee!", he said, still laughing as he quickly hugged me, waving as he walked out and into the rush hour.

A few minutes later, there was some sort of murmur, suddenly making me feel uneasy.
"Huh?", I questioned.
"Rue Leighton?", the male voice said. I nodded, still not letting myself look up. He'd used Leighton like it was an invective. We hadn't made the adoption public yet, as the legal papers and all that came along with it had taken a bit later. Now it felt almost a bit unusual. "You wouldn't mind me asking you a few questions would you?"
I forced myself to look up.
And there he was, in all his honour. Back from the dead. Hungry for new information. The journalist I didn't know, who always knew more about me than I did myself.
The man who'd made me panic twice in the last few months.
"No, no, I don't mind... but just a few, I have to go soon", I said - too polite to say what my heart wanted, to say no since my heart was pounding. And not in a good way. A panicky way that I couldn't stop.
"So. Ruth Leighton, are you aware that you snatching on me got me fired?"
His voice had a threatening undertone, making me shield the rest of the café away - focusing on the threat, paralysed rather than running away.
"No", I breathed. The shame hit me. It was my fault. My fault.
"You've taking my living away. For what? To make your overprotecting fake parents happy. I was just doing my job", he said, spitting the words at me.
A defence mechanism of tapping switched on.
"Therefore, you're going to calmly pack your things together, just as the next person would do, and follow me into my car three minutes after I've walked out. It's the taxi, just by the entrance"
I didn't move.
"If I see you talk to anyone or make a call, whatever, and I'll make you suffer. Got it?"
A quiet nod.
I could see him lift up something and hide it in his pocket. A gun?
He left.
I counted.
One second; one tap.

180 taps later I did manage to quietly put everything in my backpack, putting the two lonely iced teas on a tray by the dishes sign.
As the owner, Mr Tua, waved goodbye I ran.
Far too scared to be polite.

I went into his car, as he stood outside, waiting while holding onto the gun shaped thing in his pocket, aiming it towards me.
I was in the back, he was in the front.

The man, or whom I had only known as that journalist, pressed violently on the gas pedal, driving away as I pressed myself towards the corner furthest away from him.

I looked out of the window. Seeing how fast we drove, exceeding every speed limit there was, my heart rate went up a bit thinking of April Fool's day as I heard a car crash behind us.
I skipped a breath or two, because maybe it doesn't go back to normal this time. Maybe it won't be okay.
Maybe I won't see Vanessa, Lin or Sebastian again.
At least they're safe, I thought.
He'll take me and I'll save them-
But maybe they aren't?
Maybe he lied?
Maybe it's all my fault?
Maybe I missed a tap, a blink, a twitch?
Hold your breath.
I couldn't see the cars no more.
I'd stopped breathing.
Everything was pitch black, as I could hear my heart pounding in my mind - moving away, echoing quieter and quieter each time.

"-*cking h*ll", a male voice said, going through towards someone I'd heard before. "I didn't even have to force a pill down your throat. Passing out, just like that, huh? That's what freaks do. You know that right, that you're a freak?", slapping my face, forcing me up.
He lead me through a quiet corridor. A dark, calmly lit up - rarely cleaned - hallway. Suddenly he pushed me to the side, into a furnished, small room.
I looked around - the window had been covered with an old blanket, making the sun unable to bleach the already old inventory.
My backpack was thrown at the door, as I heard something break when he smashed the door closed.
My phone, who knows? If he hadn't gotten rid of that yet, it probably was. Either way, it wasn't in my reach - as he locked the door between me and him, my backpack and the rest of the world.

My eyes began to blink, like an old routine, one I couldn't trace.

How many pills have I taken today?
Three. Only three. There's supposed to be five.

My teeth began to chatter, by the weird, cold, atmosphere and stress, as I pressed myself towards the corner, furthest away from him, my backpack and the outside world.
Scratch. You haven't taken another pill. You need to make it ten pills a day, remember? You're an obstacle. In the way. Vanessa will die. And so will Lin. Maybe even Sebastian. Make it hurt, bleed and disappear. That's your substitute.
Suddenly I felt my nails breaking through my own skin, scratching until more and more blood seemed to run out.

The palm of my hands were bleeding again. I couldn't let them heal. Not today. Not if anyone's life was at stake. Not when I hadn't taken enough.

It must've been a few hours since the cafe, as my energy hit an all time low, while my body slowly had shrunken towards the floor as the blood kept on flowing.

No energy left. Barely opened my eyes as someone threw the door open.

Suddenly he was on me.

And I blinked.

And blinked.

Blinke...d.

Vanessa's POV
Another signal went through, leaving me on the line.
No answer this time either.
I gave the clock a glance.
The show was over. I called Lin again.
"No answer yet?", he asked - we'd skipped the hellos multiple times this far.
"No answer", I breathed. "Lin. We have to call the police-"
"But, she's done it before, V. Maybe if we'll wait a little bit longer and she'll come home? That's what they'll say - they'll tell us to wait, do nothing because it's happened before...", he said, sighing in unison with me.
"It's not the same this time. I- I just feel that something's wrong", I said, as I stood on the outside of her room, looking in.
Everything was neatly done. Nothing seemed off.
Last time she'd been panicking, running away from a situation she needed to process.
Her text seemed totally fine. She'd been with Carson.
99 out of 100 times, kid goes missing, the kid is with a parent or a relative.
Carson!
"Lin. Please just call the police and I'll call Carson", I said, waiting for Lin to okay, and hung up.

"Hi Vanessa!", Carson greeted me, always so happy.
"Hey, Carson, um...", I began as I sat down on Rue's bed, stroking the duvet.
Nothing seemed out of place.
"Is Rue at your place?", I said tentatively, quietly hoping that it could be true.
"No, she stayed a little longer than I at Tua's - is something up?", he asked, already knowing the answer.
My heart dropped.
"She hasn't come home", I breathed, making it more and more true. "Don't worry, she usually does, sooner or later - I don't want to drag you into this mess", I added, trying to comprehend whatever information he'd given me.
"But-", I cut him off.
"No, please, Carson. Get some sleep instead"
"O-okay. G'night, V", he said and hung up.
And so I cried.

Lin's POV
I kept looking at my phone after I dialled the police, while trying to change from Alexander Hamilton to Lin-Manuel Miranda, being just as nervous as Hamilton was about Philip.
Jon laughed with someone in the hall, waving goodbye and still having his beaming smile on.
Vanessa still hadn't called. Five minutes. What if Carson knew something? What if Rue was at his?
I just had a feeling that something was wrong.
I looked at the phone, I unbuttoned my shirt.
"Lin? Y'know, checking your phone every second...ish won't make it update faster", he said, laughing, while hopping onto the couch, where he'd thrown his King George's cloak.
I shrugged, changing into a Fun Home shirt.
He gave me a look that got more and more convinced of that something was up.
"What's goi-", but his voice cut off as my phone began to ring out.
"V. Any news?", I asked, almost in a relieved way.
"No", and that tad of relief was gone. Where was she?
I sighed.
"F*ck", I said, sad and disappointed in myself for hoping, as I placed my phone on my shoulder, pressing my ears towards it - leaving my hands to be free.
I furiously started to pack my things together, pushing myself not to drop a thing as my hands were shaking.
"Did you call the police?", Vanessa asked. I could hear she'd been crying.
"Yeah. Is Seb asleep? D-did he know?", I asked, thinking of how he would react to this.
"Yes. And no. He suspects something, wondering where she were-", Vanessa began, but then just quieted down, as did I. "Come home, Lin. Get someone to drive you home, you can't drive like this", she told me.
"Yeah. Bye", I mumbled, and she did say goodbye too, hanging up the millisecond after.

There was a paus. I gazed into nothing for a moment or two. I swallowed, feeling the weight on my shoulders getting heavier and heavier.
"Okay - Lin, sorry for eavesdropping, but what's going on?", Jon asked out into the blue; breaking the ice of mine.
I grabbed the desk, holding on, wondering if I'd manage the way home.
"Can you give me a ride home? Or- wait, did you take the subway today? No- scratch tha-"
And so, he cut me off, once again.
"Of course I can drive you. Just, please Lin, tell me what's up-"
And then, I cut him off.
"She hasn't come home. She's not answering her phone, Jon!", he looked at me, bluntly. "Rue's gone"

—————
Hey there! 👋
So - New year, new me? Heh. Updating more often? Hopefully. Can't guarantee it. But, I'm looking forward to more of Rue and I hope you are too! 💛🎆

Christmas was great - got a few nice things, a Polaroid camera that I'm absolutely loving - waiting for a moment that you really want to capture, and then doing so... and I'm redecorating my room; an impulsive decision and it's getting on so well!🌻

So, school started last week, it's a lot but it's nice to have something to do again😌
Well, besides school there's work - and it's going great, so far. But - I'm still very nervous beforehand😅

And oh my Rue - a lot is happening in this chapter. I know for a fact that a lot of people have requested this - but, honestly, I've really wanted to write a chapter like this for a while🌿

Also, the constant Hamilton tweets from Lin is what I honestly live for at the moment 👌

Well, please comment through the chapter if you feel like - I don't bite - and vote if you found the chapter to be good💓

Also - the story has gotten a lot of attention lately - my notifications has been out of the usual, for me, at the least - which is very exciting and makes me so so happy. Please keep on sharing it if you like it - it brightens up my day,
Sincerely,
H

Published: 17th of January, 2019