[sorry about my little absence, bUT we've gained 1K votes & 18K votes??? THANKS]
I looked over at Dr Noma, with that suspicious look I had.
"So, Rue, how's your week been?", she asked, in that too calm therapist voice. I raised an eyebrow at her.
She just wants to hurt you. Tap the chair 77 times.
She decided to scribble something down. Me, curious about what was so interesting it needed scribbling down, straightened my spine from the already perfect posture I had, sitting there - so nothing bad happened. If I talk, maybe she'll stop writing?
"Good", I said quickly, yet quiet. A silent pause made its appearance.
"I heard that you didn't go outside for two days. Why?", Dr Noma asked, as I shrugged my shoulders in response. "Did you feel better by staying inside?"
At that, I nodded. At least, I think I did.
Twitch your head 23 times. Or Vanessa will die.
Suddenly, three blank papers were put in front of me. I looked up, confused.
"Write down every fear, every worry, you have and can think of right now, just in the last few minutes or so", she put a nice and fancy pencil in my hand. I, a little insecure, started forming those first few words on the first page, in my very neat handwriting.

When I awkwardly asked for one more, she happily handed it over to me.

I wrote down 23 more. I soon finished the last letter, carefully finishing the last swirly part of a d, doing an elegant dot at the end.
"Done", I said, handing them over in a shaky way.
Touch the chair 56 times. Then redo it four times.
"This, this, is what kept you from going outside", I felt how I started to feel so little in the big, and surprisingly comfortable, chair I sat in. "You need to take your medicine, Rue"
I gulped anxiously.
"Well, it clearly isn't working", I snapped, building up a shield around me.
Don't let her affect you. She wants to hurt you.
I started to frantically tap. With a bit of a mind flip, and you're thrown right into the time slip.
"It is", she slowly said, calmly trying to make me understand.
I wanted to melt into the chair, and be gone by the second.
She'll hurt you. Tap. Tap more. Add another. Blink. 1, 2, 3, 4...

Still, I forced a tiny grin onto my face as I met up with Vanessa afterwards. I didn't want to let them down, not a single time more. Still, I always managed to do that.
"Niñita! How was it?", she excitedly asked, like always when she picked me up - which felt safe.
I shook my shoulders, walking up to her.
"Where's Seb?", I asked, due to the fact that I'd been at the theater all day before coming here.
"Daycare-", but got cut off by that her phone started ringing, and she hung up without hesitation. "We're gonna pick him up!", Vanessa continued. I smiled, but nodding towards her phone questionably. "Work. They never seem to stop calling", she sighed, as we walked out to the car. "But, it's the weekend - so work, bibbidi bobbidi boo, away!"
I giggled, jumping over the puddle from melted snow and opened the door, humming the classic Disney tune.

As soon as we got through the door to the hallway of my home, Tobi came running towards me with her tail waving like there was no tomorrow. This though, was almost crazy alike the run Seb had done towards me when I got to daycare just 20 minutes earlier, shouting 'Hermana!'.
I looked over my shoulder as Tobi was jumping up and down on us, and easily made my way over to the door.
Open and close it 56 times. Otherwise Seb will die.
By automatic, I did as my mind said.
I tried to form a logical reason in my head, but instead an irrational fear became important.

As soon as I quit, after many redo's, when both Vanessa and Seb was gone from the hall, I could take my shoes off - in my own speed. Suddenly my phone started buzzing.
I easily placed it right next to me as I was unpacking my left shoe first.
Left one. The right way. Now now now now now now.
Panicky, I did it three more times, just to be sure.
Firstly now, I could give my phone a glance.

>> EY RUE🎉
We're havin an early birthday celebration for Lin man right before today's show. Everyone's bringing cake!

Giggling at Ant's rather excited and full out text, reminding me of Lin's Birthday that was tomorrow, I still raised an eyebrow.
Don't answer. You need to wait. If you tap the floor 56 times, and finish the routines - you can. Or he'll die.
I hung my jacket right next to Vanessa's, but did it seven more times, just to be sure. Placed my shoes in the rather clean and straight line, reorganise the arranging of shoes. Right at that moment, could my mind allow me to reply.

<< ...how come I'm only hearing about this now? I've been at the Theatre all day!😂🤔

It only took him a few seconds to answer, which got me nervous. Did I say something wrong? Did I sound rude?
Flick the lights 23 times before entering the living room and you'll be fine.
By automatic, I did that.

>> We're keeping it a secret from him, and he's always somewhere near you so we couldn't risk it kid😉 You coming then?

"Um... V?", I said, and noticed her head peaking out from the living room door. "Apparently the guys are having a party for Lin today...", but she cut me off, giggling.
"Oh, yeah, I heard about that. The early Birthday", she winked at me, smiling.
"Why do you know, and not me?", I said, pretending to be a little bummed. Vanessa laughed, taking down Sebastian's train tracks box from the lowest shelf.
"He practically never leaves your side, Rue-Rue", she softly explained, and a excited Sebastian came tip toeing from his room, with at least twelve trains and wagons that he carried carefully in his jumper that he'd folded up like a bag. When he arrived to the box, he folded it out and let them fall to the ground - running back to his room to collect some more.
"Overprotective", I mumbled quietly, only meant for my own hearing. Yet, Vanessa picked it up.
"We have our reasons", she said lovingly, watching my hand tap the sofa. I finished the old routine quickly, putting my arm away. I put a grin on my face to laugh away the fears, steering back the conversation to the Birthday party.
"We're supposed to bring cake?", I asked, raising my eyebrows so I'd almost look like a question mark.
"Right...", Vanessa said, dragging out the R as she was thinking, walking towards the kitchen as I curiously followed. "Almost forgot about that. We barely have any ingredients", she added, opening every cupboard ever. "Carrot cake?", was her final statement, glancing over towards the carrots in the fridge.
I shrugged my shoulders, giggling. How could you forget about cake?
"Sure"

As soon as we came to the Theater, a undeniably excited Thayne came skipping to collect the cake, holding his arms out.
"Cookiemonster", I said, giving it to him, as Sebastian held my hand.
"-THE WIFE, THE KID AND THE LITTLE KIDDO IS HERE", Thayne shouted backstage, and soon Ant came with Jazz by his side. Thayne opened the lid to the box of cake.
"I f*cked up the frosting", I said, rolling my eyes at my own embarrassment.
"-and we solved it!", Vanessa added, high-fiving me, as we smiled at each other. I helped Thayne with putting our sliced carrot cake next to the fancy little bowl of frosting - him, laughing at our quirky way of cake, but took a little piece and dipped it, making a mess of crumbles, that he, of course, ate up quickly - and Tobi managed to sneak some of them into his mouth, which lead to strict-dog-owner-Vanessa telling him off. Sebastian was pulling my cast-covered arm, for us to rush backstage and leave the excited baking cast of Hamilton with the many different sweets on a table.

Soon, we entered the girls' dressing room - and everyone let an 'aw'-sound out as they saw Sebastian dragging me around the Theatre, just in the way as he wanted to show me every little space. Little did he know, that I'd been here for the past week or so.
"The small one brought the even smaller one!", Alysha squeaked, making Sebastian jump by excitement as he, in a matter of a millisecond, let go of my hand and started exploring the room.
"Yep, V's downstairs too", I said, smiling. Alysha was looking after Seb as he'd found the little whiteboard they had in there for notes, or just Jonathan making doodles every now & then. Alysha handed Seb a pen, which he gladly started drawing a remarkable form of sorts - or just a blur of lines. Who knows.
"Where did you go earlier then?", Pippa asked with her kind almond eyes, as I sat down on their couch.
Blink 72 times. Don't tell them. Do it do it do it do it.
That's when I realised that she meant therapy - the therapy that she didn't know about.
I hesitated.
"Oh, I just had to be at a thing", I mumbled quickly. She grinned, glancing towards the little scribbly notebook I had in my hand, the notebook I'd gotten from the cast this Christmas. "My sketches", I quickly marked. She got big eyes from excitement, such as Lexi & Renée behind her.
"Oh, iihh, yes! Pretty, pretty please, can I see them?", she shrieked with such excitement.
"And us!", the others joined in.
Pippa quickly reached her hand out and let it grab my notebook, all hyped up as she started to flick through the pages.
"Oh my goshh is that Maria's dress? It's so beautiful!", Lexi exclaimed.
Tap the wall behind you 23 times. Rhythm. Do that seven times more.
Apparently the word of me making dresses for my school's production of West Side Story had traveled a bit.
"Um, yeah", I said, a bit distracted by my continually tapping hand.

I awkwardly sat on the couch as they were talking about the, according to me; bad sketches.
I didn't like compliments. I never knew what to say.

All of a sudden - Everyone's phone except mine started buzzing like there was no tomorrow. Seb looked up from the whiteboard confused by the many sounds at once.
Renée took a quick look, her eyes getting big from excitement.
"It's Jazz, letting us know that Lin's here in like two minutes so-", and by that we were up & about, me holding Seb's hand running the stairs - to then, carry him down.

"Let's surprise Dad, shall we, Sebbo?", I asked, smiling, precisely choosing my words. Seb nodded proudly, when I put him down. Then, as we stood there, right next to Vanessa, my mind started cycling.
You called Lin Dad. Maybe he didn't want that?
Tap your foot against the floor 96 times.
Blink. Blink until it feels just right. You've disappointed him. If you don't do it, he'll die. Die. Blink, then!
My breathing was definitely not hearable, mixing together with the exciting whispers in the dark room, but it got seemingly heavier. Vanessa glanced over to my side as she scooped up Sebastian in her arms.
Counting the blinks, I needed to know how many I did. Or he'll die.
Twitch your head 7 times.
I did.
You didn't do it perfectly. Redo!
So, I did.
I finished the tapping.
Stuck in a loop, my logical mind telling that nothing had to be done. There was no logic in this, I knew that. But, this is me. I can't control that, right?
Abruptly, Vanessa placed a safe arm on my shoulder, giving me a warm look.
"Shh, calm down", she said, so quietly, clear & safe. "Nothing will happen"
As a spell taken right from Harry Potter, my breathing went back to normal.
Nothing's gonna happen.
My twitching stopped, and soon the whole room was quiet as a the sea on a day without wind.
I excitedly looked at the contours of the door opening in the dark, hearing Lin, joking away with Tommy, rather unaware about the crowd of people squeezed in here.
Still blinking, and almost immediately the light went on, everybody shout-singing; "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", in the most cliché way ever.
This, making Lin just look at us with warmth, like he was about to cry with that look of love. He was jumping up and down, excited Puerto Rican at its peak, his hair flopping everywhere. But then, stopping as the song finished, just to look at us.
"Aw, you guys...", his melted face of happiness, beaming of love to each and every person in that room. The Lin face.
I had the biggest grin on my face all through that. My eyes blinking, just because.
Vanessa leant in to whisper something in my ear, when Lin had gone back to skipping up and down from excitement, hugging every person he could find.
Tap your thigh. Count to 72. Then do it for more times. Or, Vanessa will die.
"I married a 5-year-old, Niñita", she whispered laughingly, the age old joke still new. I giggled, and sooner or later Lin would be at ours.
His smile bigger than ever, even his eyes smiled brightly with a little sparkle in them. He took Sebastian in his arms, joyful as ever.
He leant forward, like he was about to say something important.
"Here ya go, Homeboy", he said to an excited Sebastian, and hugged me softly. "Here ya go, Niñita", just as fair as any 5-year-old would've wanted it. "Still, I'm wondering; my Birthday's tomorrow. Why is this happening now?", he whispered, wondering quietly.
I began to shrug my shoulders, so he turned his suspicious face to Vanessa, who was smiling proudly, like the way you do when you're keeping a secret. Now, even I & my frantic blinking got excited.
Me, confused as ever, gave her puppy eyes - same with Lin.
"We might be heading to Puerto Rico tomorrow", she revealed, grinning.
I got even more excited than before. My first trip. My first holiday with them.
Then, I got worried.
Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap TAP.
Lin just gave that Lin look again, smiling with the smiling eyes, and kissed her passionately after saying four words.
"Oh, I love you"

-----
Hello there, lovely readers!🌈

I might, no, I really do owe you an apology. I haven't updated in almost a month - and gosh, I am so sorry. But hey, I've got one hell of an excuse;
For one week, I was sick. Just laying in bed, trying to get stuff done. How fun, right?🤒
Then, I went on a study abroad trip to Lithuania doing lots of things;
- speaking English
- writing a song
- making friends
- performing🌬
But, for most of it - it's just been a lil writing block. Sorry.

So; for the past week I managed to write a 2500+ words chapter for you guys, balancing it with two tests and a few essays😅 I hope that's appreciated💓

So, when I was gone - we managed to reach 18K reads? WHAT THE ACTUAL. just that. wow. thanks.

-EXCITING NEWS-
I've opened a redbubble: http://www.redbubble.com/people/chilnava for my art🌊
I put my #HamArt up on there, but it got taken off because the owners of the Hamilton Trademark thought it looked too much like the orginal. so happy ccc: it wasn't like I worked on that piece fir five hours ccc:

Question for lé day:
Describe your day in 3 emojis!🌅
Me? ☀️📝😌

If you liked this chapter, be sure to give it a vote or a little comment with feedback🌸

Have the greatest day, smile & dream,
Sincerely,
C
(it's like 25 degrees Celsius outside what 🇸🇪 what)

Published: 20th of May, 2017