[yay, Rue's seeing the show! so, I decided to write her reactions to a few songs, to the ones that means a lot to her. hopefully that's appreciated💕]

Me and Vanessa sat down in the theatre, me doing every single thing in perfection.
Tap the seat 4 times before sitting down.
I looked around, watching the people chatting in excitement.
"I love the feeling before the show. Everyone's excited and just can't wait. Like you, niñita", Vanessa giggled, gesturing towards my hyped face expression.
I smiled brightly, turning my eyes to the scene as the lights were moderately dimming out, leaving the room to a cosy environment.

The curtains opened, revealing a Leslie walking into the spotlight, telling us the famous opening line that somehow changed my life.
"How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean by providence impoverished, in squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar?"
I wanted to focus so badly as my mind easily tricked me into believing what could happen, tap, tap, tap on the glass.
Blink. Don't blink - and you're dead.
How could everyone live like this? How could everybody's mind function? How could they not be afraid of the world?
I forced my mind aside, seeing Lin, standing in the spotlight.
"Alexander Hamilton", he looked around at the audience, all into character; confused & almost scared, but confident. "My name is Alexander Hamilton"
The crowd cheered.
Suddenly I could forget all about what my mind was telling me. I took it aside for this evening.
No matter how many times I've listened to the soundtrack, still, this was new. Even though how many times I've heard them rehearse ifI couldn't miss this.
But, unrecognised by me, my hand tapped against my thigh. In reality, it couldn't stop.
I was just so, so, worried.
About everything.

My Shot always got me so hyped, my heart pounding like I had to run around the room. Which I obviously couldn't do now.
Everyone just did an astonishing job.
Anthony shouting,
"Rise up!", would always make me feel happy. Feel invincible.

Rue, if you don't tap your thigh 72 times Vanessa will die.
And so I did, praying for it to stop. The thoughts, haunting me since forever.
I knew that it wasn't a realistic thought.
But maybe it could happen?

The Schuyler Sisters began, loving the girls' acting as they perfectly made the sisterhood come to life. Shouting about feminism, love and convincing Peggy that their father wouldn't know. Peggy was the worried one. I was most definitely a Peggy.

Jon did a fabulous job at every song of his precious 9 minutes, winking at me as he sang You'll Be Back after finding us in the crowd. We couldn't help but laugh at his odd behaviour with looking around, searching for us, almost breaking character. I blinked my eyes 56 times because of that.
Because of a thought.
Hey, you made him break character. If you don't blink your eyes someone will get harmed. You wouldn't like that, huh?

Helpless would always make me sing along, and as the dancey rhythm started playing I had to remind myself that I actually was in a room full of people.

Leslie absolutely nailed Wait For It making every single human in the crowd feel bad and love Mr Burr.

As Dear Theodosia started I cried. For some reason, the song always made me break down. Ever since the day he  quoted his own musical to call me his own daughter.
Totally emerged by the show, I let my head rest on Vanessa's shoulder. Safe.

The crying sticked around for Tomorrow There'll Be More Of Us, Vanessa joining in too. I felt bad for Anthony who had to die twice every night, sometimes twice a day. I would worry about that.
Tap. 56 times.

Suddenly Non-Stop began, and we had to dry our tears. This show was most likely an emotional rollercoaster, and I was painfully aware that there was more to come.

"Oh gosh", I let out as the curtains closed, and the clapping had faded out. "Um", literally speechless, eternally smiling, still looking at the stage.
Vanessa laughed.
"Aw, Rue. Gotta remember to tell Lin that", she exclaimed. "A one woman play; speechless"
I face palmed.
"He's for sure going to tweet that", I realised, speaking my mind.
"Yep", Vanessa replied, satisfied, only to me seeing her writing it down on her phone.
Blink your eyes 7 times per every minute until it feels just right. What if something happens if you don't, huh?
I looked around in the theatre, eyeing at the different groups of people. Families, friends. Some people had gone out to the lobby to buy merchandise.
Suddenly I realise that there were two girls suspiciously looking at us, excitedly pointing from now and then.
Snap on your left hand 21 times, otherwise they'll get hurt. Really hurt.
I started to focus on my breathing, as it occasionally got more panicky.
"Rue, stop that. You don't have to", Vanessa said, somewhat out of my bubble.
Keep on doing it.
"I can't", I said under my breath, finally finishing the routine.
The girls skipped over to us, smiling.
"Hi Vanessa, and Rue of course! We heard that you were seeing the show tonight and wondered if you'd be up for a selfie?", one of the girls said, she had plaited hair, grinning.
Vanessa just smiled happily, as I awkwardly kind of hid.
"Hiya", I shyly said.
"Of course!", the girls cheered at Vanessa's answer.
They picked out their phones, and a couple of pictures were taken. I did a little smile for each one, as I was cheering in my head. They actually wanted to take pictures with me in them.
Taking that as a compliment or not, my brain had to decide later.
"Thank you! It's our second time seeing the show, actually! It's your first right?", the girl with the glasses said, shining.
I collected my self-esteem and forced myself to answer her question.
"Yeah, um, already been crying like crazy so I suppose it's going in the right direction", I awkwardly giggled.
Tap your thigh 23 times, or someone you love will get harmed.
"Same!", they both said in unison, laughing. "Well, it was lovely meeting you both! Thanks for taking your time, we, unfortunately, have to head back to our seats", the first, plait-girl, said.
I counted the taps in my head, not missing a single one.
"It was great meeting you too!", Vanessa exclaimed, as I grinned. They excitedly started walking away, hyped, as the happily chatted to each other.
"That was...", I took a deep breath, "weird"
I finished my tapping-session.
All of a sudden, Vanessa made a little plait in my hair.
"Weird? Well, yeah. You'll get used to it. Also, Rue, you were so confident-", she, somehow, found a clear elastic in my bag, as I sometimes would put my hair up in a tiny ponytail. "I'm proud of you", and she let go of my hair, happy with what she's accomplished.
"Thanks, V", I giggled.
Firstly now I realised that it was the holidays, no school in at least a few weeks. I didn't have to worry about going to school, neither did I have to worry about everything that might happen if I didn't recheck everything before leaving home. At least not every day.

After a while of chatting about everything, and anything, we both had returned to scrolling through twitter.
Me? Tap, touch, blink, stamp, snap. Routines. All about fear.
As a matter of fact, Vanessa whispered.
"Hey, hey, it's starting!", she petted my side and I instantly put my phone down, as the lights got darker, and I once again was totally emerged by the show.

What'd I Miss? made me smile like a dork, such a character change, and he still pulled it off.
The whole audience was digging it.

As I'd love to focus on every bit of it - my routines and worries began as soon as the curtains opened for the second act.

Take A Break was adorable, Philip's rap and Angelica and Eliza seeing each other again... Alexander's tiny 'hi' made me giggle like a five year old. Even though it wasn't quite the happiest song, I'd still always loved it. Soon, it merged into Say No To This, Maria just hitting those high notes, and soon to get Ham on her side. My emotions turned from being overwhelmed by the cuteness from Angelica and Eliza, to being so pissed at Hamilton. Just as everyone else in the area.

I just couldn't really hate Burr after The Room Where It Happens. He worked so hard to get where he got, although it had consequences. And I knew the consequences.

One Last Time made me cry. Not quite sure why. I was a sentimental person, I suppose.
Blink your eyes 23 times, then wait three seconds, and do it all over again. Maybe something bad will happen if you don't?
Still knowing that it all was unrealistic, bur I had to remind myself; I wasn't going insane, right? Everyone did this, as far as I'm concerned.

Hurricane began, and I instantly felt like I was in the eye of the hurricane. Alexander hit so close to my heart, how he desperately tried to make everytging right, but wrongly. Just as my routines.

Right after, a gorgeous Pippa as Eliza sat on the stage, burning letters - punching Hamilton with words. So sad, yet so beautiful, that was what Burn was. And yet so badass. I wish I'd had the privilege of punching my past foster families with words - which I, obviously, never would have had the courage to do. I would've just gotten worried.
I was still crying - due to the nonexistent recovery from One Last Time, but now over how afraid I was of something happening and for the fact I'd never be able to convince myself from stopping with my routines. I kept on going, being washed with emotions through the numbers, until it felt just right. After Burn I could finally stop blinking.

The bullet shot through Philip, and soon both his parents were bending over him, singing in such a heartbreaking tune, making everyone watching sob. Second time Ant died, and I was weeping again.
As It's Quiet Uptown started and I fully lost it, just as Vanessa. Bursting out in tears, barely able to see anything through my blurry eyes.

As someone who completely loved The Election Of 1800, but yet, I still let my thoughts come in the way.
Did I pack my bag correctly?
What if I didn't? What if you forgot something?
What if something bad will happen if you don't reorganize it?
Afterwards.
Tap your leg 71 times.

I knew Best Of Wives And Best Of Women meant a lot to Vanessa, which made me totally emerged by her as she brightly smiled, watching the scene. I remember Lin saying;
"It's basically a love letter to V", backstage when they were rehearsing it as I'd been watching, just a few weeks ago. He always had the urge to explain the songs to me - and me? I didn't mind at all.

And as they took the final note on Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story, I was back in my crying state, clapping and cheering as they took their final bows. The orphanage was what made me break down. Eliza's story. I was an orphan. The orphanage might not have helped me - but these people did.
And I, I couldn't be more greatful.

In the car back home, Lin couldn't get enough of Vanessa reliving my reactions to the present.
I realised, that this day, what I'd just experienced couldn't go ignored on Twitter.

@ruemarkable :
Well, this was an emotional rollercoaster 🎢
Completely loved it, tho.

Adding a picture of the stage, tagging as many cast members as I could, but more importantly, Lin and Vanessa.

@ruemarkable :
Also, yes. My username is changed. Many thanks to @CarsonDeVil , the disney fanboy himself, who would've done it for me otherwise. You happy?🌚

@CarsonDeVil :
@ruemarkable Your effort of bringing my ideas to life is very appreciated, I must say.
Even though it took a few weeks.
*Umbridge cough*

I could hear Lin's excited tapping on the phone, as we were parking outside the apartment. I knew that he'd waited for me to start tweeting. I knew he wanted me to go public, before him and Vanessa tweeting about my account.
Tap the handle four times before opening the car door. Otherwise it ain't right.

@Lin_Manuel :
My daughter's finally tweeting!
Welcome to Twitterico, niñita.
My job here is done.
*happy dance*
@ruemarkable

-----
Heya!
This chapter let you in even a bit further into Rue's mind and mindset🙄
Next chapter; Vanessa's point of view, since y'all really loved the Lin one💕 who's excited??

Please tell me what you thought about the chapter in the comments, hopefully it wasn't too boring👀

Leave random questions for Rue here!🎈

Midterm's over, back to school tomorrow. Going to stress myself out again🙃

Also, omg, please let Lin get his PEGOT. It's all I want in life atm(and for you to keep on reasing the story okok), but since I live in Sweden, watching it is quite hard... so I'll have  to wake up tomorrow as an excited five year old🎉 but, I wish Lin the best of luck!

Have a lovely day, leave a comment with feedback or a vote maybe,
Sincerely,
C

Published: 27th of February, 2017