[okay, lil A/N here. A • is meant for either looking back on something, like reflecting on a day or a flashback. If so, it'll be marked with cursive letters. It can also mean a long time hop - a few hours, or days. If so, it'll be marked with normal letters. This is to make y'all have a better reading experience, hopefully it's appreciated. Her thoughts, very complicated and worrying thoughts, are marked with cursive letters, which you've probably noticed by now. And words that are articulated and emphasized are with thick letters, and in A/Ns too.
Also, thank y'all so much for reading this. I'm amazed how you love it, by your comments and votes. It means a l o t to me💕]

Ruth's pov
It was Tuesday. The internet had officially gone nuts about me - and not only did it freak me out, sometimes I just couldn't stop myself from tapping. Stuck in a loop. And it had been going on since friday - only getting worse.
I walked up the stairs of the theatre, as Lin and Vanessa had made a deal with me that I could go home by myself on Mondays and Fridays. Other days were theatre days.
It didn't bother me though - the theatre was amazing, and the people there always welcomed me as I ran around backstage.
I skipped down the corridor backstage to Lin & Jonathan's room, carefully not stepping on any cracks.
Don't you dare stop on one.
Before opening the door, I tapped the doorknob 23 times, opening and closing it four times before actually opening it.
"Hiya", I said quietly, walking inside, when I realised Lin was on the phone. He smiled kindly at my tip toeing, trying not to make a sound.
"Good day?", he mouthed. I made a thumbs up, nodding & lying.

•
People had gone crazy about my existence - earlier I was just air for people, and now, everyone looked suspiciously at me when I entered school, like if they weren't sure if I actually was the one the Lin-Manuel Miranda had tweeted about.
The whole situation made me sad and my mind to flip out - even Georgia, the girl that had left the annoying girl that was me a long time ago, tried to befriend me. I'd smiled as she'd kept on rambling, feeling Ansel, Warren and Rachel's looks drilling into the back of my neck, as I saw Georgia's clique make their way over to us. I awkwardly smiled, and said something like 'sorry, gotta go', and slowly headed for the art classroom, as I knew I had to leave for it early.
The tapping hadn't increased since the announcement - it had more or less accelerated, and nor could I control it. It made me panic, the urge. I had so many people watching me - knowing that if I did something wrong, maybe something would happen, and they would blame me. Worried, I started tapping each locker seven times as students across the hall watched me.
Rue, touch that door. And don't step on any cracks.
Knock on the lockers.
•

I left my backpack there and immediately ran to the girl's dressing room, a smile spreading across as I saw Jazz, Renée and Pippa playing around with Snapchat filters.
I sneaked into the picture, vomiting rainbows and joined them singing.
As Pippa ended the snap, they all turned back.
"RUE", Pip squealed. "You are now part of the Hamilton Snapchat", we high-fived.
I rolled my eyes at their excitement, and sat down on the floor with my chemistry book in my hand.
Tap the floor 4 times before sitting down.
Tap, tap, tap - tap.
"So, Rue, we thought that we needed some Schuyler time and therefore we suggest Christmas shopping on Thursday", said Jazz, sitting down right next to me. "Ugh. Chem"
I responded laughing.
"You guys do know that I have school right? And you have work?"
"Yep. But you're the kid and Lin's kid and therefore we'll be free. And you finish at two so we have at least four hours before we'll have to actually work!", Renée said, snapping her fingers.
"Okay, okay, I surrender!", I said, taking my hands up in the air.
"Yeah, Kid, you are adorable", Anthony said, leaning against the wall. "Hi Jazz", helping her up. He kissed Jazz's cheek, and I couldn't help but smile.
I tried to focus on the many complex words on page 342, trying to get everything smashed into my head before tomorrow - all because of a sudden test my teacher had decided to have.

After fifteen minutes of reading, with continually singing and talking in the background, I gave up and threw the book on the ground. I looked around the theatre and tried to be where I might be needed.
This resulted in me running around, to and from the clothing department a few times. But, also touching what needed to be touched.
I suddenly ran into Leslie, making him spill his coffee all over my shirt.
"Oh god I-I'm so sorry!", I exclaimed, ignoring the pain that spread across my chest, picking up the bag he'd dropped. I squished my eyes closed, fighting through the burning pain that I definitely deserved - I was the one that ran into him.
You annoyed him, it's your fault, snap with your right hand 23 times.
Silently counting in my head as I started to snap, and opened my eyes and he quickly took a grip around my arm.
"Oh, shit, Rue, stop! Take your hoodie off, otherwise you'll get more burned", he said, running to the other side of the room, throwing a Schuyler Sister t-shirt at me as I did as he said. I confused looked around me, surprised by his actions as he told me to change in his dressing room, leaving me in there alone. I changed my tee quickly, drying off the coffee from my red skin.
As I walked out, Leslie was apologising in hyper speed to Lin, who'd probably heard us hysterically freaking out. Even though I'd been quietly apologising to Leslie, while he'd been shouting.
"Leslie, I'm not dead, don't worry, it was my fault, kay?", I said, lightly laughing in an attempt to make the situation less awkward.
"Rue, I'm so sorry!", Leslie said, as I just smiled.
"Stop it, Les! Seriously, all this was my fault", I replied, walking over to Lin in my oversized Schuyler Sisters t-shirt.
Your fault. Tap the wall 4 times.
"Lodom, chill. No one's fault", said Lin, the last sentence meant for me. Leslie's face could finally turn back to it's cool and calm expression. "And Lac wants you", he added, and Leslie nodded and gave me a quick hug for a reason I couldn't seem to find.
Lin leant in and whispered.
"You okay?"
I rolled my eyes and nodded.
"You done with school?"
"Oh, hey there, responsible grownup", quoting what Lin had called himself approximately one and a half weeks ago. Now, it was his time to roll his eyes. "But, to be clear, I think I am", going through my homework, realising that I actually was caught up with both maths and English. "wait- a chemistry test tomorrow"
Lin smiled.
"I'll help you study, niñita"
I giggled, as I walked over to tap the box and clothing hanger.
"You don't even like chem, Lin", I answered.
"I've been a broke substitute teacher, Rue, I think I can like chem, even more if it's about helping my daughter", I blushed, while we headed for his and Jon's dressing room. He called me daughter - again.
You can't accept that, of course he doesn't think of you as his daughter - you're just in the way. Touch that shoe box four times. And tap that brick 23.
"Also, I was wondering, Jenna just texted me saying that she's sick, would you mind working at the merch stand?", he said as I handed him the flash cards I'd written in the library earlier today, every bit of them neatly cut.
"Yeah sure", I replied, not thinking of what it actually meant. What if I'll get an intention? Then people will get mad at me - and...
Blink your eyes 77 times. Rhythm. Now. Tap the sofa four time before sitting down.
"Don't worry, you're just the magician's assistant, mi niñita. You just have to go get the order, and then fold it and put it in a bag. Mike's the magician, he hands the talking and money, love - but you'll have to stay through the whole show, kay?", said Lin surpringly quick, like he noticed something. He hadn't noticed my routine right? He couldn't have, it's just intentions - everyone gets them, why would he?
It's normal, everyone has them, they just don't show it and you are bad at not showing it. You need to learn to hide it, or you'll stand out and be abnormal.
I'm just a bit afraid of the world around me, everyone was like this, right?
Hide it.
"Okay, thanks, I just dislike meeting new people, that's all, Lin. I'll be the magician's assistant", I said, laughing nervously.
Lin looked at me, concerned.
"Rue, thank you, you're a lifesaver!"
Was I, really?
Tap your knee 56 times, or someone close to you will die.
"Okay-", he said, flicking through the cards "my friend, what is a fullerene?"
"A special kind of molecule of carbon, often formed as a soccer ball, but can be in other ways too, such as a tube or..."

When the last card was read, Lin grinned.
"Rue, you've got this", he proudly said.
And what if you don't?
Maybe I'll get real nervous and start tapping things, while all the words melt together.
"Maybe", was my answer. Then - an idea came to my head, as Lin stood up and grabbed his phone, probably about to tweet something. "Um, could I invite a friend over? So I could have something to do while y'all are working... Like, we'll be quiet, pinky promise", I rambled, taking up my phone to text Carson, while reading the hyped conversation we'd shared on Saturday morning.

>> RUE. DEFINITELY LIKEABLE RUE, DON'T SAY THAT THE GIRL'S DOG I PETTED YESTERDAY WAS LIN MANUEL MIRANDA'S PUP AND FOSTER DAUGHTER I TALKED TO?

>> Okay I've calmed down now. A bit. But really you are his foster daughter right?

>> Because Ruth and Rue AND TOBILLO HOW COULD I'VE BEEN SO BLIND?!

>> Also yes this is Carson, silly.

>> Should I shut up, Rue?

<< Hiya Carson 👋

>> Rue's alive! You are like you actually you live with them? YOU KNOW JONATHAN GROFF?!

<< yeah - I live with Lin & Vanessa, Carson.

>> Oh, yeah. Quite obvious. I can hear your sarcasm.

A few hours later that day he'd sent me this;

>> PS. Could I have the privilege to meet Jonathan Groff?

>> I. Am. So. Gay.

He smiled happily.
"Sure, that's great! Order pizza too if you want-"
I cheered.
"I'll text him then-"
Lin gave me a suspicious look.
"Him?", he cut me off.
I laughed.
"Seriously?", scoffed, while Lin gave me the eye. "Okay, okay, his name's Carson and we walk our dogs together. Apparently dog owners are real talkative, not counting me, of course", I said, while Lin raised his eyebrows."No, Lin. No", I continued and walked out. "You can interview him when he gets here - he's outgoing and very gay, in his own words", as I realised that Lin followed me down the stairs.
"I will - MIKE WE HAVE GOT YOU A LITTLE HELPER", Lin shouted in the lobby, as he heard the screams outside and saw the merch stand. "And yo find me when the Carson gets here, niñita, thank you, have fun"

Selling things were going great. I could focus on folding a tee, putting it in a bag, and then smile at the customer.
Suddenly, or to be more precise, every 7th minute, I had to go and tap every table 56 times. Just to check, to preserve what could happen.

When we were packing everything back together, my phone started buzzing and I immediately excused myself and ran outside and opened the door. Carson stood there, smiling eternally in the most confused way possible. Thankfully, there were no hardcore fans left outside.
"This is the weirdest thing ever", he said, looking around holding a pizza box.
"You got the pizza!", our little and many conversations on the phone had made me more confident around him.
"Of course, Rue. You told me to get it", he chuckled, as we ran up the stairs backstage, hearing Tommy shout.
"Curtain call in 5 minutes!", and I touched the doorknob 23 times to Lin's room, knocked on it 3 times.
"Um, Lin wants to speak to you. He thinks you're an axe murdurer", I whispered, while Carson chuckled.
"I don't know, maybe I am", he whispered back.
"Ey! Lin! I'm here delivering Carson", I announced, open and closing the door four times, trying to ignore the scary thoughts back in my head.
One day, they would haunt me to death. How could people live a life? If this is normal, why didn't they seemed so scared about the things around themselves?
Lin looked up from his book, and smiled at Carson when I awkwardly leant against the wall behind me, scrolling through twitter.
"Hi, Carson right? I'm Lin, responsible grownup for Rue", he, somewhat excited, said and stood up to greet him.
I giggled, realising how he'd used my nickname.
"Yeah, hello! And um, I kinda knew that, um, yeah, it's pretty clear, I'm a fan", Carson articulated being his outgoing self, rambling on, not really shutting up. "Also, your dog is cute. And we are planning on eating pizza while I'm gonna tell her my life story, because she doesn't wanna tell me her's, and then watch an old episode of Doctor Who, which is clear that she hasn't watched yet because she do not know who the hell David Tennant is-", he paused for a while, seeing Lin smiling from ear to ear. "Also, I'm gay. Even Matt Smith is unknown to her to which is ridiculous, and Peter Capaldi. And Ecclestone-", he turned to me, "seriously, girl, where have you been? British TV is the shit. Please, Rue, tell me you've seen Sherlock?"
I shook my head, seeing Lin just grinning behind Carson, who looked at me, devastated.
"Downtown Abbey? Luther? Broadchurch?", he paused, "The Great British Bake Off?...Mary Berry? Does that name ring any bells?"
I giggled, as I walked over to Lin's desk.
Organise that pile of papers. Tap the table 23 times. Or someone will die.
Then, I headed over to the window.
Tap, tap, tapping on the glass. Four times. Go. Otherwise, Sebastian will die.
"No", I uttered happily.
"Girl, go get your education!", he turned back to Lin. "Sir, I'm just real passionate about British TV shows. Sorry, I'mma shut up now"
Lin shook Carson's hand, and said something I couldn't quite catch.
"-And please, I'm no sir, call me Lin instead. It was nice to meet you! Although...", he gestured at his body, in full costume. "I'm about to go on, and can't stay any longer. Have fun, young people!", said Lin and quickly walked out, swooshing past me, mumbling.
"I like your friend. He's quite something"

-----
Hey there! 💐
Another long chapter - what is going on?🙈 2700 words, again. Be happy. And Rue's not feeling any better eiher, and sadly why's a secret. You'll just have to wait and find out...

Also, I'm sick and I'll probably write some more tomorrow. And watch Doctor Who. And yeah, the bake off part is dedicated to my fren who, I don't think, has got wattpad. Which is a shame, bUT. She's quite passionate about it🍰
Probably been sick for two days - gone to school anyway, so been feeling like shit🌬

AND GOSH IM OBESSED WITH DEAR EVAN HANSEN. DID YOU CATCH THE REFERENCE IN THE CHAPTER??📖

Okay. Here we go again - what do y'all think of Carson? Is he a good character? Should he stay around?
Also, what did you think of this chapter? Was it any good? Interesting? Fun? I'd love to hear both feedback and criticism 💓

And here, we keep these up;
Q u e s t i o n s for Rue - go, in the comments!
They'll be answered in a new chapter in a near future. ASK WHATEVER COMES TO YOUR MIND.🎉

Have a lovely day,
Sincerely,
C
(Sincerely,
Me)

Published; 7th of February, 2017.