"I feel as though I loved for the sake of loving," Goldie sings the lyrics of The Orphans' new song as she leans back in her bed. "I love harder than I did before now. It hurts but it's necessary. We were all that we wished for and more. I pray I can wrap my arms around your joy and take in all of what you stand for."

Harry is a poet. Did he mean the song for her? Probably not. It had been years since they interacted and to assume the song was for her was delusional.

Emotions were high and it was just the first day. She felt suffocated and worn down. She wanted to look at his face every day but the strong need to be around him made the article feel like a mountain she can't climb.

"You sound flustered," Andrew comments from the other end of the phone line. "Bad first day?"

"I don't know if I can do this," she replies. "Daniel wouldn't leave me alone. I have to see Harry every day."

"I thought you'd like that part of it." Andrew tried to hide the mild condescension in his comment. He loves her and wants her to be happy, but the thought of her around Harry every day again still hurts. "And Daniel needs to back off. It's your story."

"I know but I don't know how to stand up for myself yet. He's always sort of been like this as an editor but it's even worse on this project. He's micromanaging everything. I feel like if he wasn't around, it'd be easier to deal with what's happening. It still wouldn't be easy, don't get me wrong. But I feel like I can't think straight with him constantly breathing down my neck."

"You know how I feel about what happened with Harry when you guys split, but I know you have it in you to work this out. You'll figure out a way. Fuck it. Even if that means I have to murder him myself or something."

Michelle laughs. "Harry or Daniel?"

"Both!" He laughs back. "Just kidding. I can't have you losing your job. Who's gonna buy this poor college student a bagel and coffee every Sunday? But really. You got this! You're fucking Goldie for crying out loud!"

"You're right! I'm FUCKING GOLDIE!"

* * *

"I feel as though I loved for the sake of loving," Harry's melody goes up in tone. He strums on his guitar. His calluses become more fortified with every chord. "I love harder than I did before now. It hurts but it's necessary. We're all that we wished for and more. I pray I can wrap my arms around your joy and take in all that you stand for."

It hurts. Her distance is a deep burn. He leaned forward too far and pressed his heart against the hot stove top and it's left a brand. He deserved it and a piece of him prayed it was an eternal feeling because at least it was proof that it all really happened. It wasn't some deep comatose dream he got lost in. He brought this on himself. Now he sits in an empty hotel room in New York. Her city. Driven mad by her close proximity and dying to feel the peach fuzz on her face and kiss the parts of her she never gave to another human.

She was the inspiration for The Orphans' newest album. Every melody. Every word. And she had no idea. Zero clue Harry's depression was the reason why so many of his songs were turned down for the new album. Journals upon journals filled with scribbled notes about her absence. He didn't care. He held no shame. He wanted to share the low points with his fans. They understood him.

But that also didn't make the sting of her abandonment any easier. That's what it felt like to him. Tossed out at high tide. A flimsy rag doll, thrown against the waves of the monstrous ocean, left to exist in loneliness as white foam and chaos carries it into oblivion.

They attempted to navigate the unknown together and it didn't pan out the way they intended it to. It killed them. They sat in their quaint apartment together, attempting to figure out their next steps and how to make it work. Both were so young and there was no solution to any of their woes other than distance.

The kettle whistled on the stove top as she wiped her tears from her fair cheekbones, slightly cherry'd with emotion. It wasn't what either of them wanted. This wasn't the place they thought they'd land.

"You know I love you, Belle," Harry says. "I can't imagine being with anyone else."

"I know, Harry," she replies. "And I wholeheartedly agree. But this isn't me."

"What do you mean?"

Harry sits up from his hotel room bed, gasping for air. He can remember the look on her face. The solemness in her eyes.

"You okay, Harry?" Mitch rubs Harry's back and brings him into a warm hug. "It's okay."

Harry sobs in his arms. He just needed more time with her.

* * *

Michelle arrives at Electric Lady Studios in Manhattan. The band is missing, save Grimshaw, who's standing out front with what looks like a very angry Daniel.

"Am I late?" She asks, looking at her small gold watch. "Where are the guys?"

"Mr. Grimshaw was just filling me in," Daniel replies. "Apparently The Orphans don't wish to record their album here anymore and the label has made 'other arrangements.'"

"The boys are creatives," Grimshaw explains. "They need space to breathe. They don't feel like they're getting that here."

"The terms have changed then," Daniel adds. "So knowing that Michelle, it's up to you if you want to continue the project knowing it's going to take you out of New York. Just know I have a lot of projects going on right now. I won't be able to go with you and help."

"I'll stay on the project!" she swiftly replies. "But wait... where are we going?"

Grimmy opens the door to his rental van carrying the band's equipment and signals for her to get in. "The boys specifically requested that this be a surprise. We gotta go pick up your stuff and that handsome young son of yours though. I'm so excited for him to meet Pig and Stinky!"

Michelle and Grimmy catch up on what they've missed the last several years. It feels as though no time has passed and they were back on the tour bus.

Back at her apartment, Michelle frantically stuffs her bags with the few pieces of clean laundry she has hanging in her closet. Grimmy sits on her couch, stroking the back of Ziggy's head who's aggressively sniffing the leftover dog smell on his new friend's shirt and jeans.

"I think this little guy likes me!" He scratches behind the dog's ears. "So how do you feel about the laxatives in the brownie idea? Jonesy wouldn't even notice!"

"Oh, he wouldn't expect that at all!" She yells from her bedroom. "Wait, how much should I pack?"

"I don't know... a few months worth, maybe?"

"Months?!" She steps out to look at Grimmy's grinning face.

"Just to be safe! The plan changed slightly but the timing is still the same. We can always get more stuff for you if you need it. We'll just tell Daniel the expenditures are for the article or something and he can approve them being he seems so worried about that bit. Get yourself a new handbag. Perhaps a new hat? I always thought you'd look good in one of those giant-brimmed sun hats middle age women always wear to the pool. I can't stand that guy by the way. He's a big reason why we're not staying in New York."

"Try working for him!" She steps out with one small carry on, stuffed with various things for Ziggy, and her biggest suitcase bursting at the zipper. "Okay! Ready!"

The drive to their destination was long and arduous. New York traffic has a way of making one wish they'd never set foot in another car again. The time in the passenger seat also gave her too much time to overthink like she always does. She wants to call Jimmy and Andrew. She wants to go back and make sure she turned off all the lights in her apartment. But her mind settles when she realizes how much she missed the whirlwind life with The Orphans. She had spent so much time up until this point, checking her watch making sure she was always 5 minutes early to her meetings and crossing off each item on her daily to-do lists that she lost the feeling of spontaneity and how fun it could be.

"Why is the airport so packed?" She says as they pull up to the front of the terminal. Hundreds, possibly thousands, of people stand shoulder to shoulder, screaming and crying. Hoisting signs in the air. She gets close enough to one that reads "WILL YOU MARRY ME, HARRY?" and suddenly it all makes sense. This wasn't a crowd of travelers. These were fanatics.

"Fuck..." Grimmy mutters. "How in bloody hell did all these people find out we're here? And how the fuck are we supposed to walk through this?"

She sits in awe at the sea of flailing bodies. She knew The Orphans had gotten famous since she split from Harry and the band, but she didn't realize just how famous they've become. Women and men alike, all of varying ages, stood out front of the terminal, crying for the attention of the men she had the pleasure of calling best friends.

Grimmy puts the van in park and the passenger door swings open. Without words, Harry grabs Ziggy from her lap and stretches his other arm around her to shepherd her through the horde.

"MATT! GET HER BAGS!" Harry directs as they reach one of the doorways. An airport security guard attempts to help them through. "We're not going to be able to keep all them back with just one guard. Where are all the guards we requested? They were supposed to handle the entire perimeter."

Goldie and Harry stand in doors now, the fans yelps and hollering muffled by the thick glass. Harry keeps his arm around her as he discusses the logistics of their security with the guard. She doesn't shrug him off though. She remembers the show in Portland. How her body shut down as the crowd around her felt like it was growing at an exponential rate. Harry and the guys saved her then. She felt safe with his arm wrapped around her and the other around Ziggy.

"HARRY!" She screeches out in desperation. No matter the volume, her scream is muted amongst the chaos of the crowd. Bodies pile on top of her. Arms, legs, necks and chests take over her existence, and in defense of the situation, she goes down in the fetal position, hoping and praying it will all over be over soon. Shallow, short breaths are all that can escape her lungs in hyperventilation. She can feel his large hand grasp her bicep, but he's hindered by the bows and moshing of the overzealous audience. His actions did nothing more than excite the crowd. This was their territory. Their scene. He may as well have kicked a hornet's nest.

Niall runs up, a giant smile on his face. This was just another mosh pit to him. His inner punk felt at peace with the environment.

"They're at the other entrance now," Niall says. "Oh! Golds! Fancy meeting you here." He wraps his arms around her and lifts her feet off the ground. "Fun times, right? We're going to have to barrel our way through them. There's no escaping it now."

Harry furrows his brow, both frustrated with the inability of the airport to keep them safe and with disappointment that Niall's hug broke her out of his arms.

"I'll take the front with Matt. Mitch and Grimmy in the back. Me and Goldie in the middle." Harry looks around. "Wait. Where the hell is Jonesy?"

"I don't know," Matt joins the group with Michelle's bags. "He wandered off earlier saying something about wanting a bag of chips. Haven't seen him since."

"We'll just have to meet him at the spot then," Harry replies. "He knows where to go... at least I hope so. He'll pop up at some point. He's like a fucking street cat. We can't waste anymore time though. Security will get the equipment from the van. We need to move before they —"

Harry stares at the door, a shocked look on his face.

"Before they what?" Matt asks.

"RUN!" Harry yells as the giant crowd outside barges past the solo guard and sprint towards them. He wraps his arm around her again and they take off towards a back door at the other side of the terminal. "Not exactly how I planned this, but it's kind of exciting, innit?"

"Speak for yourself!" She laughs, looking up at Harry's hypnotizing eyes and smile.

"THEY GOT GRIMMY!" Mitch screeches.

"SAVE YOURSELVES!" The imagery of Grimmy being swallowed up by the crowd as he hams up his reaction makes them all laugh. "TELL STINKY AND PIG I LOVE THEM!"

"This is fucking nuts!" Michelle says. "Where are we going? How much farther do we have?"

"We're almost there!" Niall replies. "Seriously, where the hell is Jonesy?"

Her nerves begin to heighten as the crowd closes in on them. They're almost there. She just needs to trust the process. Stop thinking so much. Don't fight against the tide or you'll surely drown.

I can do this. I'm Goldie. I'm Goldie. I'm fucking Goldie.

A large bra lands on top of Niall's head, followed by a matching pair of women's panties.

"Thank you!" Niall screams back to the crowd. "I've been lookin' for a set in this color!"

"Through here and we're on the tarmac," Harry instructs. "They're not allowed out here."

A guard stands at a silver door, ready to quickly unlock and re-lock and they run down a fluorescent-lit hallway with cinderblock walls. Their pace slows once they hear the door shut and lock secured. The sound of fans banging on the other side echoes. After a few twists and turns down what seemed to be a never ending hallway, they reach another door.

Sun bursts through the doorway as it swings open and the vast tarmac stretches out in front of them like a calm ocean horizon.

"Where were you guys?" Jonesy asks, adorned with a brand new I LOVE NY t-shirt. He's holding Pig and Stinky's leashes in one hand and a bag of Utz potato chips in the other. "Want a chip?"

"Where were we?" Niall sling shots the bra at Jonesy's head. "Where the hell were you?"

"I told you guys I was going to the gift shop, man."

Grimmy bursts through the door, his face covered in various shades of lipstick. His shirt stretched at the bottom and now missing its right sleeve. "Well that got a bit rough."

"You okay?" Harry asks Michelle. They look down in unison and realize they're still holding hands. He caresses the back of her hand with his thumb.

She nods and drops his hand to retrieve Ziggy from his arms. "Are we all going to fit in that?" She asks, pointing to a small plane in front of them. The only plane in that area of the tarmac.

"Nope!" Harry says. "We're taking that." He grabs her shoulders and turns her the other direction.

Doris, their tour bus from all those years ago, sits in the distance. Its chrome siding glows in the sun. It was like going back to a childhood home years after moving out.

"Baby! That's Doris! That's the bus I told you about!" She points Ziggy in the direction of the bus and takes off running with excitement. The band follows closely behind. "I missed you, old girl." Michelle pats the DORIS sign and in those few brief seconds, all the wonderful memories she made with The Orphans come rushing back. "So we're not flying? Where are we going?"

"You ready for another road trip?" Harry says through a mischievous smirk. He nudges her with his elbow and steps into the bus. 

— END OF ACT 1 —