Bullets flew by her head by mere inches. She barely had any time to fear for her life as she got pushed on the ground behind some wooden pallets. She fell on her knees and her shoulders smacked against the pallets, making her wince.

"You still don't want to give me a gun?!" Beadie yelled above the fight going on around them, her eyes shifting to Alejandro.

"Not now, Bella!"

She felt like smacking him across the head for being so stubborn, but she was busy trying not to die.

Getting to Valeria in here seemed a little more difficult than they originally thought so. And the fact that her hands were still bound together didn't help either, but nobody had the time to try and set her free.

And Price, the Captain of 141 didn't trust her, understandably so. But this started to get pathetic as all she could do to hide like a coward. Not like she wanted to injure (potentially kill) her men, but now the Shadows thought she betrayed them, too.

Like nobody wanted her on their side and was ready to kill her at any moment. And that was one of the saddest moments of realization. That she now didn't belong anywhere.

The sudden silence falling around them was what snapped her out of her thoughts. Looking to the side she could see that everyone in their team was alright, which only meant that her other team paid with their lives.

A tug on her arm forced her to her feet, Alejandro urging her to hurry up. All they seemed to do was run around, kill Shadows, and run around some more. Everyone was in direct contact with the others, the three teams updating each other frequently.

There was one of the teams led by Alejandro, their mission being to find Valeria. Still needed her for intel and deep down Beadie wanted to save as many lives as she could, even if they weren't good people.

The other team included Ghost, Soap, and Rudy, but since she didn't have any radios or comm links, she didn't know anything about them. Even though they didn't believe in her and still thought of her as just a Shadow, she hoped they would get out of this alright.

"Are you okay?" Alejandro's voice came from closer than she expected, making her flinch away. She forgot how deep his voice was and how it was coated in honey whenever he talked to her.

She wasn't. But she wouldn't tell him that.

"Yes," she nodded, forcing her eyes to not look at him. She wasn't strong enough right now to look him in the eyes. "You?"

He nodded, his shoulder bumping against her softly as he kept up with her pace, both of them following after Gaz. She hadn't met him before they were assigned to the same team – well, she was forced to come with them –, but he was the only one who didn't treat her as a traitor. He was just there to do his job, make occasional small talk with them to lighten up the grim mood and mind his own business.

She liked Gaz. Beadie hoped she would get more chances to talk with him. Preferably not in the middle of shooting other people next time.

Alejandro turned his head to glance down at the blonde next to him, only to see that she turned her head away entirely. He opened his mouth to say something, but after failing to find the right words, he just closed it and acted like nothing happened.

They still had one hangar to go through, since they kept Valeria in Hangar 3. The three of them moved across the now clear Hangar 2, dead Shadows lingering in their wake. Beadie tried to shut them out for the sake of her mental health, but the air was heavy with the smell of blood and gunpowder. And with every breath she took in, she was reminded of what they did.

As they waited inside for the Shadows to run by, since Price caused quite the chaos with their hijacked helo, they got some time to kill. And Gaz took the opportunity of it.

"So, were you really a Shadow?" he asked, his gentle tone quiet as his caramel eyes looked into her cold blue ones.

"Yeah," Beadie looked away, ashamed of her past. She was never ashamed to be a part of the Shadows, up until Shepherd fucked everything up for them. And now her whole life's work went into fucking flames.

"What was it like?" he asked, the genuine interest in his voice causing her to look up at him. For a moment, she searched his eyes for any trace of humor or bullshitting, but since she didn't find anything, the blonde let out a sigh and watched as Alejandro opened the hangar door.

The sudden sunlight blinded her for a second. Squinting her eyes, she quickly took after Alejandro, who led the way in front of them among the numerous armored trucks. There were Shadows everywhere.

It felt weird to sneak past them and sabotage them when she was one of them not long ago.

"It wasn't bad, you know," Beadie replied to Gaz, her steps quick and silent. She kept her voice low, but the rapid fire of air support almost drowned out her words. "We were like a weird little family at times. And Graves wasn't this crazy."

But really, he wasn't?

For a moment, she let herself think back to how he acted before. Beadie went over every little detail that could potentially be a red flag, but there weren't that many. In the military, you usually had to act and do things you didn't particularly like because that was the order. They received the orders from the higher ups and they had to do it, no questions asked. That's how things were.

But then she remembered how Graves seemed to enjoy their time on duty. Almost like he wanted to spill blood. He didn't care if he risked others' lives. Whenever they lost someone, he always said that it was necessary and didn't mention it ever again.

There were always signs. I was just stupid enough to never notice them.

"You knew Graves on a personal level I presume," Gaz peeked out from behind a truck just as a Shadow turned around. Beadie pulled him back just in time and motioned him to change routes. "I heard you were his second-in-command."

He knows a whole lot for someone I never met, she thought to herself.

"I was," the woman breathed as she started crawling under a truck, another armored vehicle full of Shadows rolling past them. She spotted Alejandro a few cars ahead of them, so she picked up the pace. "But I never knew him enough to understand his reasons. And as it seems like, maybe he didn't even have any."

He just hummed in response as they continued on their way, catching up with Alejandro. The three of them hurried towards the hangar door, Gaz punching in the code Alejandro gave him to get in while Beadie kept an eye out for any movement towards them.

Gaz pushed open the door and let Alejandro inside. Alejandro was quick to shoot the closest Shadow, his body dropping to the floor with a thud. Her legs froze in place for a second too long, Gaz already pushing her inside. Beadie let her eyes linger on the body of the dead Shadow while the two other men went around and started clearing the place.

With slow steps, she approached the Shadow Alejandro just killed like it was nothing and looked down at him. His face was completely covered by the black balaclava that was part of their uniforms, masking all his features. There was no way of knowing who he was, or whether he had any family waiting for him at home.

The blonde squatted down and sized the pistol still holstered on his leg. A frown took over her features just as the thought crossed her mind, but the constant gunfire echoing back to her in the hangar only pushed her further and further. This was her only chance.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to the dead soldier in front of her, her bound hands reaching out and taking his gun. It was pretty hard and awkward to cock the gun with her hands tied together, but somehow she managed.

Her heart told her to follow Alejandro and cover him, but her pride and instincts said to go after Gaz. So she did. Beadie followed the man through the shadows, sticking to the sides and keeping an eye on everything suspicious.

Silence traveled through the whole hangar, only the light sound of Gaz's steps reaching her ears as she kept her distance a few feet away. Adjusting her grip on the stolen gun, she watched as Gaz haltered in his steps and listened in on his radio. He let his rifle hang from his hand as he was ready to reply to whoever called out to him.

And that's when Beadie spotted the ominous body behind him.

A Shadow, and from his determined steps and gun pointed straight at Gaz, his intentions were obvious.

"Gaz, get down!" Beadie yelled at him, her gun already aimed at the man who emerged from the darkness.

Gaz barely had time to look in her direction as the sound of a gunshot echoed.

Her aim wasn't the best but it was good. Only that this time, she didn't have the opportunity to see whether she hit her target. She didn't have the time to let out a scream as she got knocked down on the cold, hard floor. Right on the floor where many of her brothers' blood tinted; where they exhaled their last breath.

Beadie's head knocked against the concrete floor with such force that she felt like her skull shattered into pieces, a sudden wave of nausea making her gasp for air. But she couldn't get any air into her lungs. Her body didn't want to work with her.

"Bella!"

She heard his voice but couldn't look in his direction. Her hand came to her chest where she felt the most pain, her shaky fingers desperately reaching for something, anything to ground herself. She needed air.

I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe

Her eyes widened as she stared up at the ceiling, her vision going blurry as she fought for air. Her entire arms went numb and she couldn't even feel her fingers anymore. She only felt pain.

A figure arrived next to her, and as he leaned over her, his form shielded her from the harsh lights on the ceiling. She hadn't noticed before how bright the lights were.

Urgent hands cupped her face and turned her attention to himself, and when her eyes met Alejandro's, she was finally able to breathe.

He discarded his mask somewhere, his hair a little messy but angelic at the same time. Beadie was too happy to see his face again to notice the absolute horror overtaking his features and how his eyes screamed panic.

He kept saying something under his breath as his eyes scanned her body, searching for the bullet wound so desperately that his hold on her face tightened for a second.

"Ale..."

"I'm here, tesoro," he murmured to her, one of her hands coming to hold onto his arm. The sight of his distress hurt more than anything.

"Your kevlar is shit."

His brows furrowed at her, his lips parting as he tried to find his words. His thoughts were so scattered that only now did he realize that there was no blood – she wasn't bleeding. She wasn't dying like he thought. He won't lose her, not like this.

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks and the only thing he could do was to bring him in his arms and squeeze her body to his chest like there was no tomorrow. His hold was so tight on her that Beadie struggled to get air into her lungs, but she wouldn't let go of him for the world.

Feeling how the tears started to sting her eyes, she closed them and melted into his embrace. With her eyes closed, she felt the ghost of his lips touch her forehead before he buried his face in her hair.

"You're okay," he breathed, his voice trembling slightly like he couldn't believe it.

"I'm okay."

For a minute, they just sat on the floor, half of her body lying on him as he held her in his embrace, none of them willing to let go of the other. She could finally breathe between his arms; her body and heart felt whole again as one of his hands brushed her hair absentmindedly, almost like he tried to calm himself down more than her.

Everything was fine until they had each other.

"Are you okay?"

She flinched away from Alejandro at the sudden voice, somehow forgetting that Gaz was still there. Alejandro didn't let her out of arms reach as she looked up at Gaz, his worried eyes jumping between them before settling on her. Seemingly he was whole and alive, so her mission was successful.

She saved a life.

"Yeah," she nodded and offered a small smile to him. "You?"

He nodded, looking back at the body that lay behind him, several feet away. The body that she shot at.

She took a life.

"Thanks to you," the usual easiness returned to his voice, but that didn't lessen the ache in her heart. "That was a bloody good shot."

It wasn't. She aimed to disarm, not to kill. And now, whoever that was, he was dead. His blood now tinting her hands, even though it was clear. Another soul that she took. But at least she saved Gaz, and she had to learn to cling to the positive things.

A life ended so I could save another.

The woman turned her head to look at Alejandro, all the emotion she missed now present on his face and his eyes. All the warmth she missed now caressing her skin in the form of his fingers. As she looked at him, a strange thought emerged from her mind.

I wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone for him.

And he was alright, too. So she forced a small ghost of a smile on her face and pressed her lips against the inside of his wrist, where his glove and uniform didn't meet.

"We should get Valeria," Beadie reminded him, his eyes not leaving hers for a second. It took him a few seconds to digest her words before he nodded, his hands reluctantly leaving her.

Alejandro stood up fast from the ground, taking her hand to help her up as well. But the sudden movement caused her to yell in pain. Clutching her mid-section in pain, Beadie fell back on her butt but Alejandro didn't let go of her hand.

"What's wrong?" he asked, the previous panic returning in his tone. He was so desperate to try and figure her out that it made her smile, despite all the pain.

"It hit my abdomen," she managed to get out, still having some difficulty breathing.

"Must've hit her diaphragm," Gaz looked at Alejandro, the man nodding along with him. "Nothing else hurts?"

"Just my head, but I'll be okay," with a groan, she let herself get pulled up by Alejandro, trying her best not to wince. She already felt so weak among them; she didn't want to look like a weak link as well.

"Then let's go," Alejandro ran a hand down her arms, his fingers idling on her wrists. Without a second thought, he brought out the keys and uncuffed her, throwing the metal away.

As they walked away from the scene and headed to a blue container housing Valeria, she tried not to notice how the boots of the man she just shot matched to a tea with Jax Lynch's.

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as you're reading this, the final chapter is already up xo