Tune diya hai jo Woh dard hi sahi
Tujhse mila hai toh Inaam hai mera
تونے دیا ہے جو وہ درد ہی سہی
تجھ سے ملا ہے تو انام ہے میرا

The golden rays of the morning sun careened in from between the carved wooden windows of the small cafe I was having my morning chai at. Despite staying at our Karachi residence, I had made it a point to have breakfast with Khanum Bibi at my university. I wrinkled my nose in annoyance at the pointed jab of the gilded rays, but raised the warm cup of tea to my lips and took a long thoughtful sip.

"The court has given a date for the hearing." I heard Khanum Bibi say in a concerned undertone, her soft swooping eyes watching me from behind the counter. It was an early Saturday morning and the place was unusually quiet.

I shrugged taking another sip of my tea, "It hardly matters, it's not like Ibrahim Taya is going to appear in court." I said almost absentmindedly. With so many court cases against my family, it had almost become customary for them to pay little heed to their court summons.

"How long will he avoid though. He will eventually have to come back," she remarked in an airy tone. "He will come back for the elections, if not this." My lips puckered into a perfect moue at her words, but I remained silent, my eyes carefully watching the burly man with a small pistol strapped in his waistband and a baton hanging on his side, scanning his surroundings like a hawk.

"You really hate them, don't you?" Khanum Bibi grinned down at me as she came around to sit on the chair opposite mine.

I ran a hand down my hair and shrugged nonchalantly. "Who would enjoy being watched 24/7." I said acerbically. "But I will flee tonight, even if it's for a few hours." I smiled with a devilish resolve.

She gasped hearing the words leave my pink lips, "You wouldn't dare." Her eyes widened in horror, "You're not exactly unknown now, people recognise you. It's dangerous." Her voice dropped down to a hushed whisper while her eyes looked over the surrounding. "Don't go anywhere without your guards."

"I'm just going to the beach." I laughed. "But without them." I narrowed my eyes at the two men strolling around the door of the cafe. "I doubt I'll ever get a chance to do something crazy like this again."

"Is your fiancé strict like your family?" The mild concern on her forehead was quickly eclipsed by the glimmer of curiosity in her eyes.

I shook my head before taking another thoughtful sip of my tea. "He isn't exactly controlling, but I don't know," I heaved a beleaguered sigh, "It sometimes feels like I have known him for ages and then there are times when I feel like I barely know him."

"Why did you not leave when your father gave you a choice?" She asked patting my hand. "This relationship will throw you back into the world you so loathed."

I adjusted my duppatta over my head and sagged into the chair, "He seemed different from all the men. He made me want to trust him or may be I just wanted to take a blind leap of faith."

"You've always enjoyed a gamble." She chuckled and I smiled in response.

"Yea. This is my biggest wager though." I drew in a sharp breath, my fingers fiddling with the handle of the cup. "Our relationship is like— honey and sun." I smiled, "Intense."

"Then maybe lose yourself in the sweet honey and golden sunlight."

My eyebrows tufted together at her words. "I can't lose myself to such madness. I already have once, I do not wish to repeat the same mistake."

"In his defence, Shehryar never claimed anything other than friendship." She gave me an apologetic smile, her words echoing in the yawning darkness of my heart. "You can't close yourself —"

"Well, in my defence, Aliyaar hasn't claimed this is anything more than that either." I shot back venomously, my mood suddenly soured at the unwanted reflection of reality.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," she said softly, "But I can't see you hurting yourself either."

"I'm fine." My eyes rolled back and my lashes fluttered close. It took me a while to collect myself and my eyes met the concerned face of Khanum Bibi when I slowly reopened them. "It's just— I'm trying to figure out my position in this whole dynamic. I will not let him manipulate and use me."

"He knows your family is your weakness and you are theirs."

"He promised me he'd get them out of this. But he shouldn't have dragged them in this mess to begin with." I sighed long and low, my eyebrows furrowing together in angsty apprehension. "He used our relationship as blackmail." My voice was low and hurt, and I felt the ache in my chest push against my throat.

"After everything you've told me, I truely believe, or at least I hope, he didn't mean those words." Her eyes glimmered with warm hope, like the morning sun promising a new beginning.

But my frown only deepened, "He said he didn't mean them but I don't know if I can take his word for it. It's been over two weeks now and I haven't heard from him. He asks me to trust him, yet he refuses to share anything with me."

Khanum Bibi nodded her head, "It's not easy to trust sometimes."

"I want to trust him, but I can't. Especially not when he holds so much power over me—" My fingers tightened around the cup, as the memories of the past few weeks replayed in my mind. "I mean my family."

In my mind I pretended like his touch didn't stir my heart with untrammelled need, his words didn't sear my soul with anguished desire and his smile didn't wreck my mettle. The least I could do was pretend he didn't effect me like he did, because the acknowledgement would only give way to a dangerous realisation— a realisation I was not ready to face; a realisation that he had more power over me than I cared to admit.

"Then perhaps you should know of his weakness. Everyone has a weakness." She said as a matter of fact and my eyes narrowed thoughtfully at her words.

His weakness. Did he really have one?

➰➰➰

The sunset came down upon the world like a calming prayer, crowning the sky with its glorious scarlet blooms. The pink blush of the sinking day blended with the fire heath of the setting sun, slowing bleeding into brilliance of the majestic night. The tiny speck of stars flirted with the billowing clouds, while the waves kissed the sand on the shore.

The corner of my lips twitched, a small smile pooling on their corners, while I sat at the beach enjoying the sight and my quiet thoughts. The musky scent of the salty sea and moss hung heavy in the air, and I took a deep breath before strolling towards the sea.

Tonight I felt free.

I stood by the edge of the shore and the tepid clean water caressed my feet. I looked down upon my distorted relaxation. Distorted but strangely calm.

I bent down, dipping my hand in the water and splashed the surface with a soft thud. Drops of water bounced back on my face and hair and I clenched my eyes at the feel of the salty droplets kissing my lips.

I stayed there for a long time, enjoying the solitude and the earthy calmness of nature, but as the day bruised into the wending darkness of the night, I sighed. It was time to go back home. The wet silken grains of sand sifted between my toes while the vicious breeze fluttered my midnight tresses, that gleamed under the moonlight like polished obsidian.

While my heart was heavy at the thought of going back into the cage, it soared at the feeling of freedom I had tasted today. Away from the suffocating realities of my life.

My friend had once shown me this part of the beach, a remote spot away from the preying eyes of the residents. Tonight, too, it was mostly quiet apart from a few people occasionally strolling on the footpath. As I slowly strolled back towards my car I spotted an SUV park at a distance and a two men jumped out of it. I looked around, scanning my empty surrounding before hastening my speed.

The soft thud of footsteps etched near and I felt a cold shiver race down my spine. Suddenly the idea of running away from home didn't seem so enticing. As the footsteps roared near, I picked up pace until I was almost racing towards my car. I was almost near the pavement when a hand caught mine and whirled me around, slamming me into the ground. My chest tightened in terror as all the air was knocked out it. And I gasped at the acute pain searing though my midsection at the impact of the fall.

"You run fast." My eyes flashed open at the low voice that rasped in my ears and I was met with two men staring down at me with a wicked grin. The taller, more muscular one bent down and his fingers traced down the side of my face. "Aren't you pretty?" He said with an amused grin. A surge of fury chased away the lingering fear and I pursed my lips, swatting his hand away from my face and quickly shrivelled back on my feet.

"Don't touch me." My eyes narrowed in warning.

His eyes darkened and he sucked in a harsh breath, anger rattling through his chest. I swallowed thickly "How dare you?" His voice dropped to a mere whisper before he lunged forward and his long fingers closed around my throat like a cuff. He was tall and wily, reeking of drugs and alcohol. I coughed grasping for air, but stared back into his eyes, determined not to show any sign of weakness.

My fingers wrapped around his wrist, my nails digging into his skin trying to stay his grip. A cold fear gripped my insides as the surrounding suddenly became hot and fetid. Despite the lingering realisation that I could not fight off these men, I levelled a glacial stare in his direction.

"You're not scared, are you?" He spat in disdain.

"The one who should be scared is you." Despite the severe pounding of my heart I fought to keep my voice steady. "You have no idea who I am." I baited him in. I was taking a huge risk, but I kept a steady face, my eyes throwing daggers at him.

"Oh. We know exactly who you are." His grip loosened as he winced at my boldness.

"Then you'd know your fate, if you so much as lay a finger on me."

He sneered at me and the lanky man behind him began to laugh. But I stared at them coolly, my eyes observing the surrounding for any help. His hold on my neck loosened and his eyes landed on the rock on my finger that glimmered under the soft moonlight. "Did your fiancé not take you on a holiday with him?" He barked a laugh, his hold flagging.

This was a big risk, but I had to take my chance. I stayed quiet, observing him for any mistakes and then just as his hold loosened, I reared my leg and then suddenly swung it in his stomach with all the force I could muster. My stomach jabbed with pain at the action, but he stumbled off me, howling in pain. The man behind him rushed forward to grab him and I turned around running as fast as I could.

"Catch her." I heard him scream behind me, but I continued to run. My eyes caught sight of a discarded glass bottle of soft drink sunken in the sand and I ducked grabbing it before a burly arm caught me slamming me into a hard muscular body. I screamed, bouncing and struggling in his arms.

The man I had hit was now back on his feet and stood in front of me like a wounded bull ready to kill, while the other one kept me steady with his arms. "You will pay for this, you feisty little thing." He snarled furiously, taking a menacing step forward.

"What do you want?" I asked, my stomach clenching with pain because of the strong hold, but my spine steeled with rage.

"Revenge."

My eyes narrowed at the word. "Your family would be very upset if something happens to you." The tips of his fingers pressed into my face and I turned my face sideways in disgust. "And what about your fiancé?"

Aliyaar will kill you with his bare hands for what you've done.

I kept silent, watching him as he stepped forward, my hold on the bottle tightening. They hadn't noticed it and this was my chance. He stepped closer, his presence filling in the space between us. His breath fanned my face and an unease kindled within me.

I was waiting for the right moment and I was lucky when I felt the roar of a car engine rev up behind us. The two turned around at the sudden distraction and I swung my arm whirling the glass bottle on their head. A string of curses left their lips as the man in front of me groaned back in pain holding his head, a stream of blood running in a rivulet down his face.

The other man's hold on my waist loosened at the sudden action and I turned around banging the remaining shards of glass in his head and pushing him away from me.

I heard a clamour behind me with the loud thudding of footsteps and wail curses flying in the air. I could sense people gathering behind me, but despite my blurring vision and the jolt of pain twisting my gut, I kept running aware of a figure chasing me.

My car came into sight and I pushed forward rushing towards it, but my foot hit a large rock embedded in sand near the pavement and the impact of the thud had me falling forward. A loud shriek escaped my lips when my stomach banged against the handle of the bench, the pointy edge stabbing into my side with a piercing force. A solid punch of pain wreaked my core and I rolled over, my head hitting the pavement with a bruising force.

A cold stream of blood pooled besides me as my vision became blurry with pain, and I drifted in and out of consciousness. In the darkness that slowly began to swallow me, I felt a familiar sound call out my name, before a deafening bang of gunshots thundered through the otherwise still surrounding.

➰➰➰

My eyes were heavy, groggy with sleep and the raw pain slicing through my body. My mind and vision were a blur and I winced in pain at the harsh rays of light poking at my slitted eyes.

"Shanzae." I felt someone call my name. Once. Twice. And then again, but this time a hand patted my forehead with a soft withering touch. "Shanzae, are you awake?" The voice was soft and concerned and I knew who it belonged to.

Despite the heaviness resting on my eyelids, I forced them open and mumbled incoherently, "I —I am." He smiled at me, while a nurse attended to me checking my blood pressure and pulse.

I was in the hospital wired to machines and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "Why am I here?" I asked, my voice still heavy with sleep. "Yaar, what happened to me?" I asked.

Shehryar looked at me with concern before asking the nurse to leave. "How are you feeling now?"

"You can see how I'm." I chuckled sardonically and a piercing pain shot through my midsection.

"Do you remember anything?" He asked.

I thought hard for a while before I shook my head, but then broken memories began to play in my mind, "I remember going to the beach—" I trailed off. "—there were two men. And—" I froze as blurry images started flashing in my mind. My eyes rounded in horror and I looked up to meet Shehryar's concerned gaze. "Did they— did they—"

"No. No. Nothing happened. You're safe." Shehryar immediately held my hand in a comforting hold, his voice soft and I heaved a sigh of relief. "Those bastards were chasing you when you fell on the pavement and hit yourself." He told. I had no recollection of it but I nodded.

"How did I get here?" I asked.

His face tightened for a second before he spoke in a measured tone, "Your bodyguards bought you here." Something was amiss in his tone, but I still nodded, my neck hurting at the slightest of movement. "Don't move. They've started the pain medication, you should be fine soon."

"Where are we?" I asked, my eyes drooping shut with the heaviness.

"In the hospital."

"I know that, dumbass. Am I in Lahore or Karachi? Where is my family?" My voice was still groggy with all the pain medication.

"You're in Karachi. Your family is on the way. I was already in Karachi when I found out about you."

I opened my eyes slightly, "Does Aliyaar know?" I croaked out.

He nodded slightly, "He is meeting with the DIG right now. He should be here soon."

"He came back from London?"

"Yes." He didn't give further information and I felt myself falling back asleep. It was after a while when I felt Yaar wake me up again.

"Shanzae, the police is coming in a few minutes to take your statement. You will tell them exactly what you told me." I looked at him in confusion. "And I don't think you remember but your bodyguard Jahanzaib was the one who fired the shots." Bodyguard? Fired?

I had little time to react because the door clicked open and a lady in a police uniform entered the room. Shehryar stood besides me as the lady introduced herself and began the interrogation.

"As you might be aware one of the men died on the spot, while the other is critically injured." She began and I felt the blood in my veins running cold. I still could not fully recollect the events of the night, but I nodded in horror at her words.

She asked me a few questions but I purposely kept the details vague, citing my lack of memory as the excuse. "How many bodyguards were with you?" She asked.

How many guards were with me?

I thought hard, but I could not remember. But Yaar said Jahanzaib, the older guard had fired the shots. "I do not recall, but I remember Jahanzaib was with me." I lied.

"Do you know who fired?" She asked.

I looked at Yaar whose eyes shone with a knowing glint. "No." Yaar's expression flatted for a second before he turned his attention to the police officer.

"Officer, I think you've taken enough information. Once Shanzae feels better and remembers exactly what happened, I'm sure you can record her statement again."

"Very well." The officer nodded in agreement before leaving the room. I turned to Yaar whose lipped pursed into a tight smile.

"I don't recall Jahanzaib being with me," I said. "In fact, I don't recall anyone."

"You should take some rest, you've probably forgotten about it."

"Shanzae!"

A cold thunderous sound resonated through the room from the doorway and we both jumped at the sudden intrusion. My ribs poked me as I twisted around to see him standing there as if considering something before entering the room.

His hazel eyes glowed with an indecipherable emotion, raw and furious, but there was something remote and forbidding about them. Under the shadows of the room, the lines of face etched sharpening his bladed features. His disheveled hair gathered around his forehead in a mop, doing a poor job of concealing his tiger like eyes.

He stepped inside and I noticed the veins on his arm and neck ticked. Was he angry?

"Can you explain what you were doing in the middle of no where without any protection?" I felt a tear prick my eyes at the freezing coldness of his voice, but I pursed my lips looking away in guilt. Somewhere he was right, what I did was rather reckless. "Answer me, dammit." He almost yelled out in frustration and I clutched my eyes shut, my fingers closing around the fabric of the bedsheet in guilt and fear.

I felt Yaar stroke my head comfortingly and I slowly opened my eyes to see him give me a soft nervous smile. We both knew even he couldn't save me right now, but I gave him a weak reassuring smile, too scared to look at the other side of the bed.

"Get out of here, Shehryar." His voice rang behind me, cold but instilled with a silent warning. Yaar nodded before looking at me with a placating smile when I shook my head, my eyes pleading him to stay.

"It's alright." He whispered, "You can handle—"

"Out. Now." Aliyaar's voice boomed with a final warning that had Yaar scurrying outside the room like a mouse.

A thick torturous silence filled the air before I dared to look up at his morose face and murmured an apology. "I shouldn't have done that." I willed the tears threatening to blaze my cheeks back and gulped painfully.

His face softened and he slipped on the stool next to me. "Baby," his voice kissed me like a cool midsummer night's dream and despite the pain I felt my heart clenched at the effect of his voice on me. "How are feeling?" He slipped his hand into mine and pulled it up to his lips. I could see he was exhausted and his voice underscored the fear lounging in his eyes.

"I feel like shit and you're screaming at me, you insolent idiot." I grumbled in an accusing tone.

"I am sorry. I truely am." He shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, our hands resting on his knees and then bent down and kissed the top of my head. Instinctively my hand curled around his in a tight grip. I closed my eyes, unable to take the immense pain and joy coursing through my body.

He lightly pressed his forehead against mine careful of the cut on the side and sighed deeply as if breathing my air. "Look at me," his voice rasped in my ear, so soft, so gentle, so loving, that had my insides melting into a pool of desperation.

"I was scared." He whispered when I opened my eyes. Raw, vulnerable emotions fleeted in his eyes like volatile spirits threatening to destroy everything with their wrath. I could see the fear burning in those embers like wild fire, dark and dangerous. "So scared."

"I'm sorry." I choked out. He raised both his palms to the side of my face, holding it close to his and making me look up into his eyes.

"You will be my undoing. What are you doing to me?" His thumb lingered around the nape of my neck, brushing against the hollow base. My lips curled between my teeth at the unexpected feel. I stared at him trying to read the thousand incoherent thought floating in his mind. "I've never been scared of anything." He said in a warm whisper that had my heart pounding with renewed fierceness.

In that moment, I had discovered his weakness. I was his weakness.

It's my birthday today, so here is a little treat.

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