Note: DOUBLE UPDATES today. ♥️♥️

main kisi ki zaroorat nahi
khwaish banna chahti hoon
میں کسی کی ضرورت نہیں
خواہش بننا چاہتی ہوں

Hot tears rolled down my face, as I rushed down the empty hallways towards the main door. The steady clanking of my heels echoing off the glistening marbled flooring. With each laboured step, I felt the walls howl at me and the roof mock me, the wicked room suffocating me. I wanted to run away as far as I could, but I felt my nerves stinging my legs, each step an agony of aching feet.

I heard the soft muffled sound of leaden footsteps stirring the end of the hall awake with their light thuds. I wheezed, as my heart leapt violently seeing Aliyaar enter the hall with a two other men in tow. His eyes were fixed upon the files in his hands, listening to the men while he read the contents off the paper.

I stood still, feeling my heart pump the blood through my veins in pounding surges. A burning heat crept up my rasping throat and I felt my legs go numb, unable to move. I could not let him see me. I did not want to see him. Not like this. Not now. A frenzied panic overpowered me and I steadily shifted to the corner, trying to hide myself in the shadows of the room.

He was too engrossed in his conversation when he walked past me, and I held my chest thanking Allah for the narrow escape. I waited for him to cross the hall when I slowly stepped outside making my way to the main door. But my happiness was short lived when I heard him call my name. "Shanzae. Is that you?"

I froze for a second, before tears began to fog my vision and I sprint, running as fast as I could towards the main door. I tried to quicken my pace when I heard him call me again, his thudding footsteps drawing near. I cursed my choice of footwear, the balls of my feet sore under my hastened pace. Relief washed over me as the main door came into sight and I raced forward grasping the handle, feeling a sweat roll down the back for my neck.

However, just as my hand touched the cold metal of the handle a hand wrapped around my wrist, whirling me back into a hard chest. "Why aren't you listeni— you're crying." His voice softened, as his eyes saw my reddened face. He blinked a few times, evidently surprised at my appearance. "What happened?" He coaxed me, taking my cold hand in his warm one.

"Please let me go." I said in a barely audible whisper.

He looked at me for a while, a little confused but then held my hand pulling me with him. "Leave me, I have to go." I said twisting my hand from his hold. "Aliyaar, let me go." I said a little louder this time.

He stopped, turning around to look at me. "You can't leave like that. Please come with me." He tugged at my hand and I followed him into a secluded room. "What happened? Why are you here?" His eyes sought my face with genuine concern and his forehead creased observantly.

"Aliyaar, I don't think I can talk to you right now. Please let me go." I said collecting myself. My face was drawn and I felt a little breathless.

He stepped closer and leaned down slightly as his hands cradled my face, the pads of his thumb swept across my cheeks wiping the hot tears burning my face. "You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to." He said very softly and I felt myself melt under his touch. "Relax." He whispered. His hand left my face to push my wild strands of stray hair off my face, but his eyes still clung to mine.

He stood besides me patiently. His fingers gingerly stroked my hair and I could feel his eyes studying me carefully. I looked at him in the fading light of sun that careened in through the curtained windowed, and once again I found comfort in his presence. It was after a while, when I had calmed down did he ask, "How is your fever now?"

"I'm fine." I said lowly, and I felt his hand press against my forehead feeling my temperature.

"Did you take your medicine?" He asked and I nodded, feeling relieved at his attempt to make small talk. Right now I needed space and he respected that, choosing not to probe any further information out of me.

"Did you have lunch?" He asked holding my hands, and I almost smiled at his attempt to calm me down. I nodded, stifling my clogged nose. "Are you alright?" His thumbs drew lazy circles on my hand and I felt the twinge that plagued me minutes ago pass under the comforting touch. I forced an unwilling smile, nodding my head once again.

"Did you talk to your parents?" He asked a little hesitantly and I tensed hearing his question. I shook my head and his face stiffened seeing my response. "Why?" His eyes looked at my intently, glowing with a light I had never seen before. An acute silence pressed upon us and it felt like neither of us could breathe.

His deep enigmatic eyes glowed at me eagerly and I tersely looked up to meet his gaze, the gaze that twinkled with blinding adoration, that lingered with a sweet tenderness and that burnt with the flames of desirous dreams. I stepped closer and his hands held on to my waist, his fingers pressing into the soft flesh drawing me closer. How unutterably close he was, his eyes reading the chaotic thoughts floating in mine.

I would not let what happened today blight my hopes or my life. The bitterness in me craved for affection, and my hands traced up to the lapels of his coat drawing him near. His eyes darkened as he leaned into me, and I could feel his breath become rugged and laborious. His face searched mine frantically with a long desperate look, pleading me to say something.

I held on to his coat, my lips quivering with a fervent emotion. "Is any of this real?" His beseeching eyes constricted perturbedly. "Tell me what we have, whatever this is between us, is it real? Or am I imagining this?" My voice began to waver as I said the last part.

A look of surprise washed over his face. He hung startled on my words, and his lips parted, hot words threatening to spill. "Shanzae — I." He stammered. His words seemed to choke him and he looked at me fearfully, well aware of where this conversation was headed. My hold on his coat tightened and my eyebrows puckered together. I could hear the loud thudding of my frightened heart, his silence slowly growing on my strained nerves.

I peered at him imploringly, urging him to say something. He closed his eyes, drawing in a deep breath, but it bought no surcease to my frazzled nerves. "I can't give you the life you want. My world is very different from what you want. I —"

"That's not the answer to my question." I whispered, as a sweet madness washed over me. "Was any of it true, or was it just my imag—" I felt a pain crawl up my spine as the possibility of it dawned upon me.

"No. No." He cut me. A sweet joy licked my veins hearing his words and I looked up to see his eyes burn with the newly replenished fire, the magic of which exorcised all my fears. His eyes swirled with the flames of emotions and a shy smile curved on my lips. "I really like you, but I can't give you what you want." He said slowly, the underlining fear evident in his voice.

"I know what I want." I smiled at him reassuringly, but he looked worriedly unconvinced. The dilemma in his eyes dancing like cursed fiends.

"This life can destroy you." He said lowly.

"I am aware."

"You're taking a big risk."

"What's life without an adventure." I said throwing his words back at him.

"This is not an adventure, this is madness." A soft smile flirted with his lips, as his walls began to crumble and the fears that besieged him slowly wandered off. "Are you sure about this? I can't give you the quiet life you want." He asked softly, his hands closed around my neck pulling my face closer to him, his thumb grazing my jaw lovingly. His minty breathe curled around my cheeks and a furtive smile carved itself around my mouth.

"Can I trust you?" I asked.

"With your life."

"Do you promise to be honest with me?"

"Always."

"You'd won't betray me or embarrass me in front of others."

"Never."

"Will you respect me as an equal?"

"With all my heart."

Such tender flattery could soothe the most grieved of hearts, and I felt mine renewed with an inexplicable energy. I lowered my head, laying my forehead against his chest, relishing the new gale of happiness blowing over me. I felt the new emotions warm my insides and kiss my soul. A radiant smile played on my lips and my eyes glistened with unwonted tears.

I looked up wiping the stray droplet away from my face, "That's all I want from you. This is enough." From the ambush of his thick lusty lashes, I saw him steal a longing glance at me, his eyes glimmering with an intense, brilliant flame that pulled me in like moth.

"This is your last chance, I won't let you back out after this." He warned, his hands going around my waist.

"I won't." I said, my hand slid up and down his side reassuringly. "I had made up my mind yesterday. I came here to tell you today that I want to give us a chance, I want to take a leap of faith, I want to trust my intuition."

"Why were you leaving without tell—" But he stopped midway. He smiled, his hand rubbing my back in soothing strokes, "Why didn't you tell your parents?"

"I wanted to tell you first."

He sighed and leaned his forehead against mine and I closed my eyes savouring the feeling. "Promise me you won't lose yourself in this world."

"I might not like this world, but it is as much my world as it is yours. I was born in this." He nodded understandingly, before he pulled me closer and placed his warm lips on my forehead.

"Thank you for doing this." I heard him say above me in a low husky voice, that had my insides quivering. He moved back, his hand resting below my ear, his thumb caressing my cheek. "Are you happy?"

I nodded contently, my heart fluttering inside my chest like a butterfly. A sly smile made its way on my lips and I saw him eye me curiously. "Now get down on your knee and propose."

A flicker of surprise burnt in his eyes, and he looked at me incredulously, "Huh? What?"

"I said propose." I said pointing to the floor with my eyes.

"Seriously?" He asked a little amused and bewildered. I bobbed my head waiting for him to kneel down. "But we're already engaged." He chuckled.

I shook my head dismissively. "That was— I don't know what that was. That was an arrangement, I want a proposal. Aliyaar asking Shanzae. Someone once told me I can corrupt saints and bring kings to their knees. All I'm asking off you is to propose."

From deep within his chest, a hearty laugh bubbled out, shaking his body with unrestrained mirth. His face relaxed, and I felt myself warmed at the sight. "I don't have a ring though." He said kneeling down on his knee and taking my hand in his. An overwhelming feeling enveloped me and I stared at him, my heart drumming with wild excitement.

"I really don't know what to say," he chuckled shaking his head, and I nibbled on my lip, trying to control the smile spilling ferociously on my face. "All I want to say is, it won't be easy, it won't be smooth, I can't promise everything will be perfect, but what I can promise is to be besides you every step of the way. You are what my heart desires, will you give me a chance to make you happy? Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Happiness swelled within me and I felt giddy with the sudden joy rippling through me. He smiled hearing my answer, slowly getting up to his full height. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me close to him. I snuggled into the warmth of his embrace, my stomach fluttering gaily at the feeling of being swaddled against his chest and I felt the air around me melt into nothingness. This was blissful.

"I still can't believe you agreed." He chuckled. "You didn't have to do it, but it's rather brave and selfless of you."

I pulled back, looking up to meet his gaze, "You're not the only one who can be selfless."

"I wasn't being selfless. I had my reasons, I needed your family for own personal gain. You were doing that for your family. You get nothing out of this, except me of course." His eyes twinkled mischievously, "Although that should be enough reason. I mean, look at me."

I let out a disbelieving chuckle, "Someone is full of themselves." I said swatting his arm. "I didn't know you had a sense of humour."

"You don't know a lot about me. Which reminds me, I'd like to take you out on a date. Are you free on Saturday?"

"I might be." I replied pretending to think.

"Saturday it is then."

Just then the door cracked open and Safina aunty walked in. "Someone told me Shanzae is here. Why didn't you tell me she was here?" She chided Aliyaar, as she pulled me into a hug. Aliyaar moved away, thrusting his hands inside his pockets. "Come outside, Ahmed is waiting for both of you over tea."

I stiffened hearing her. The prospect of seeing Yaar again, made my stomach churn uncomfortably. I wasn't prepared for it. At least not yet. Sensing my discomfort, I felt him move closer, his fingers lacing with mine in a comforting grip. "It'll be alright." I heard him say as we walked outside.

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The night was drenched in a warm soft cobweb of darkness, and a dim star-studded sky glittered merrily. The delicate wind scudded the feathery fat pillows of clouds along the inky blanket.

The tea with Aliyaar's family was a pleasant affair. His parent were warm and welcoming. Much to my relief Shehryar didn't make an appearance. I had a feeling Aliyaar knew the reason for my earlier sour mood, but thankfully he hadn't pressed for any information. It was almost dinner time, when I entered the hall.

Mum looked at me with a relieved face, while Layla and Dad sat with a somber expression. "What took you so long? We've been waiting all evening." Mum asked. "Your father has been worried sick."

"I'm sorry. Safina aunty wouldn't let me leave." I said walking inside. I suddenly felt guilty for keeping them waiting.

"I want to know your decision, Shany." My dad said, without beating around the bush.

I was about to open mouth to tell them when Aliyaar walked in through the door. "I thought I'd join you all for dinner." He said coming in to stand besides me.

Layla's eyes widened with excitement, but my parent looked at each other and then me with a surprised questioning gaze. My mother arched her eyebrows, her eyes rounding imploringly. A faint rosy blush crept up my face and I smiled at them shyly, my eyes cast down demurely.

My mother threw her arms around me, pulling me into a hug and I heard Layla squeal excitedly behind us. My father's eyes brimmed with joy as he walked up to me, a sense of relief unburdening his worried self. My mother pulled back, her cheeks too glowing with happiness and relief.

My father hugged me, kissing my forehead. "My little Princess."

We walked towards the dining room, when I heard Aliyaar whisper in my ear, "And my Queen."

^This is me right now. I'm squealing with joy. I never thought I was capable of writing such cheesy romance, but I really really hope you all enjoyed it. Once again thank you for your love and support.
The AliZae ship has sailed. ⛵️

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