The resonance of the drizzle gliding along the window’s enclosure came with the commencement of night like the earth weeping for something it had lost. My sister remained gazing in quiet reflection out at the incessant downpour, as if nature’s tears held answers, or as if night would somehow be shifted and suddenly enlightenment would be found hidden among the shadows. Andrea had gaped upon me with fear… Not just fright at what I was capable of, or terror of what lied inside of me, but with alarm of who I was allowing myself to become. As if my abilities transformation was something I controlled, something I could rein in, as if the horror that consumed my every waking moment didn’t terrify me as much as it terrified her.

“Do you remember that old rusted Honda dad used to drive?” Andrea whispered, her emotionless voice at last impeding the repressive silence.

I snorted; picturing Andrea’s distaste every time she was forced to get in it, “you mean the car he had since before we were born?” I openly laughed, seeing the slight grin upon Drea’s lips, “you know he used to say that he was going to give that car to you on graduation.”

“I don’t think that piece of junk would have made it. Remember how frustrated Mom would get when she had to drive it alone? How it would cut off in the middle of the road?”

Amused, I could imagine our mother’s beautifully enraged features lucidly as a string of profanities fell from her lips while Andrea and I laughed irrepressibly in the backseat. A long line of traffic gathering behind our car. “I don’t think she appreciated our finding her frustration hilarious.”

“She’d curse and threaten the hell out of that car, then beg it to start,” Andrea commented, her blue animated gaze far away as if she had returned to that backseat, “come on baby, just start this one time for me.”

A joyful grin remained fixed upon my lips as I remembered those words, “it never did that to Dad.”

All hilarity swiftly left Drea’s features, her expression forever seeming to be clouded by that all consuming buried misery. “Just one more thing she blamed him for. One more thing Rick,” she said his name with so much unexpressed hatred that even I blinked away wayward tears even as hers helplessly trickled down. “One more thing that Bastard could provide her with even if it meant seizing everything within me.” She smiled a grin so devoid of happiness, so lacking of contentment that my heart crumpled, “see its true, Anna. Nothing in life is free.”

My disheartened gaze fell to my rumpled sheets as Andrea tried to restore her composure, her cloud of golden hair blocking the view of her tragic expression. “Drea?”

“If its something about… Anna, I can’t go there,” she whispered, her voice broke even as she admitted her own inner limitations.  

“No,” I murmured as if spoken too loudly would contaminate the air around us. “I just wanted to know… I need to know… Drea, is there something you’re not telling me?”

Her small stature froze, her expression blank already knowing exactly the night I am referring to as she turned to stare deeply into my eyes, blue depths now so barren of emotion, “why would you say that? You know where Dad and I was that night?”

I gazed down at my trembling fingers, anything to stop gazing into those deaden eyes, “I can’t help this feeling inside that you know-.”

I heard footsteps slowly moving to the foot of my bed, knowing that Andrea in confrontation mode would cross her arms over her chest, glaring down at me while secretly I wondered why she felt the need to be in defensive mode at all.

“A feeling, or a thought, Anna?”

My gaze rose back to connect with lividly blistering sapphire, “what are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the fact that these aren’t your thoughts, your feelings. They’re hers.”

Rolling my eyes in annoyance, “Drea-.”

She shook her head vehemently at my prepared denial, her long blonde mane framing her heart shaped face, “no Anna, I want to meet her.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

She snorts contemptuously, her fingers pushing back her hair as if really wanting to pull it out in frustration, “why not? I’m your protector. I should know of every threat that could harm your life, Anna.”

“She’s not a threat,” I effortlessly defended.

“Then prove it. You say she’s not against you. That she only wants to know the truth, then let her out.”

I rose from my bed, my bare feet hitting the frosty tile, and yet my incensed eyes intent on my sisters, “You’re the one always ranting and raving about how she can’t be trusted in this world, about how she can’t control her blood lust, about her lack of humanity!”

“And you’re the one always telling me that you can restrain her,” she replied simply.

Sighing deeply, and with great shame I admitted, “the last time darkness took over it almost ripped into you… literally, or do you not remember the night Mick was placed into the morgue?”

Andrea’s fingers collided with mine, “not only do I remember that night I also remember you stopping her when she could have went further. What is your real concern here, Anna?”

Brows furrowed in worry, I couldn’t admit to her, couldn’t tell her that what troubled me most was not what my darker self would do, but what she would find out.

Drea’s fingers dropped from my own, her imploring eyes searching mine, “If everything is as safe as you claim, that you have everything under control, then why do you look so worried?”

“I-.”

“Anna, I need you to do this… For once I need to you to do something for me.”

Unable to deny my sister’s earnest request I closed my eyes, feeling my body center itself. Inwardly I could see my internal essence enter into darkness, into shadows before its carbon copy appeared sauntering towards me. As we passed our eyes locked; my golden orbs one of dread, her scarlet lenses one of merriment as I openly allowed myself to be placed within the cage just as my darker essence emerged.

Lids released, the unanticipated sight causing Drea to take a hastened step back, her terror filled gaze fixated upon the crimson tint of my eyes before seeing the mistake in showing an ounce of trepidation she stood her ground, much to Anna’s unconcealed amusement.

Without Marie’s slightly overshadowing authority everything inside me screamed, raged from within in its unappeasable demand to feed. My arduous breath came out in a quickened pant, the blood in my veins seemed to burn with the intense desire to rip into the guiltless life-force I could sense around me, and plunder the innocence I knew I would find in their horror-struck shrieks. Shadows lingered through my curls, slowly crawling across my skin like an untrained pet I couldn’t rid myself of while urging me to give in to my natural impulse to viciously slaughter, and yet with a immense difficulty no one but Marie could comprehend I swallowed down the intense compulsion and pretended to be the civilized portion of Marie’s soul I felt her beseeching me to be. This impromptu outing was not about my unruly cravings; my irrepressible thirst, it was about my yearning for the truth to finally be revealed.

And so with a mocking smirk upon my lips, dimples showcased upon my cheeks, I took in my oh… so saintly sister’s image, “well hello there big sister. I must say I never thought I’d get the pleasure.”

Brows creased over enraged blue orbs, fists clenched undisguised at her sides, and yet still I felt something holding her back as if in the face of Marie’s more malevolent identity she still believed her innocent sister to still be present; to still be in control, “pleasure isn’t exactly the word I’d use. Did you really think that you could fool me into believing that that was Marie on that balcony!”

My arrogant smirk grew, my footsteps soundless as I slowly let my fingers trail the cold blank walls watching as with every step I took nearer she took further away, “quite frankly, I could care less about what you think, my righteous,” the word righteous felt like a complete mockery of its definition when applied to her which was apparent in the way it slithered from tongue before I continued, “honorable… virtuous protector.” I paused, my scarlet tinted eyes intent on the shaky tremor of her hand before realizing her small admission of fear she stopped herself, our gazes connecting. “So many… secrets surround you.”

Drea’s determined chin rose boldly as if staring down an unwanted adversary, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I laughed merrily, “that’s cute, how you think you can lie to the face of evil.”

“I’m not-.”

My hand rose to silence her, “there’s no need to worry. Little Marie is blocked from this particular conversation… Lets just say I’ve learned that sometimes… there’s only so much she can take.”

“Why should I believe you?” she questioned, her skin usually pale, and yet those arms folded over her breast.

Resting against the window’s edge, the moonlight now cascading down upon my indifferent form, the rain had all but ceased and yet the shadows the once lingered in corners now seemed to gravitate towards me; impeding much of my appearance while causing the never-ending glint of crimson tinted malevolence to smolder in my eyes. “Don’t you think that if I wanted Anna to know about that night I would have revealed it to her by now? Or are you still hoping in vain that I too am completely in the dark?”

The truth in my words were so plainly splashed upon Andrea’s frightened features, her planned denial was redundant to me.

“Everything I do is for Anna’s protection!” she insisted and yet I unmistakably noticed how she had given up on her claims of complete innocence with these mere words spoken.

Smirking, “sadly, I actually believe that. You know, we are a lot alike.”

“I am nothing like you!” she instantly exclaimed vehemently. “Your every thought is besieged by darkness!”

Anger inflamed me from within, my balled fists causing my callous nails to dig deeply into my unprotected palms, blood carelessly seeping into ceases as my gaze fell unable to focus on anything but the scarlet slicing with painful precision repeatedly within my iris’s as hazel resolutely fought to aid my need for control. My jaw hardened and in a voice deeper than Marie’s had ever been I bellowed, “better than besieged by your misguided attempts at safety!”

I took a intimidating step closer watching as Andrea took another back, her eyes intent on my own as I continued, “I force Marie to be strong! I make her see pass her delusions of naivety!”

Once again standing her ground, her blonde head shaking in denial, “don’t you mean you force her into becoming the very thing we fight against!”

“No! I mean I make her see both halves of a whole that is her. Not to bury her head and ignore anything you deem unacceptable!”

Gathering her veiled courage Andrea stepped nearer, her words clear, the detestation in her eyes palpable, “yeah well, Marie doesn’t need your help,” she said help in the same manner I had once said righteous, “anymore. While I am here protecting her things will go my way!”

Unable to contain it any longer I openly laughed at the absurdity of her words which only seemed to add to her loathing of my existence. “When are you fucking Guardians and higher immortals going to realize you can’t teach something you don’t know!”

“And what the hell does that mean?”

“It means you watched Marie drain life to gain energy from another source, tell me once a power is unleashed how are you going to get her to stop?” I asked watching in impious amusement at the crumpling of her features. “What will you tell her when next time it’s a bird… or a cat, or hell even an innocent bystander? Because we both know when using her powers she can be a little… unpredictable.” My smile expanded, shadows tugged at its edges as I was hit with a sudden flash of brilliance, my eyes practically shimmering, “Oh let me guess… you’ll tell her it was me?”

Blue gaze wild, her thoughts chaotic, Drea still held onto her incorruptible beliefs, “I got her to control her bloodlust once, to travel the road-.”

“No, actually you didn’t. If I’m remembering correctly dear sweet Marie tuned you out last time you advised her to not connect to darkness,” I cruelly taunted.

Her eyes squinted with unexpressed hatred, “and look how well that decision turned out! We got stuck with you! Don’t stand there and pretend that it was Marie who tuned me out. The moment her hand collided with evil you surpassed her willpower. It was you who put Mick in the morgue!”

“You’d love to believe that, wouldn’t you?” Laughing, I took in my sister’s shaken demeanor without that feeble emotion humans labeled sympathy, “truth be told I have always been inside Marie, just quiescent. I may protect the fragile hold she has on her mind, her memories, but I wasn’t truly awaken until Marie asked for my assistance with poor tragic Mick. Get it, asked? You want to believe that Anna is completely without blame, that she doesn’t lust for blood no different than I do, then that’s your choice. Your lie you feel you need to keep close to your heart in order to still see her as the little girl she once was, but I’m here to tell you that you better wake up. Because its your refusal to see the truth and deal with it that’s going to get that girl killed!”

“So what, I’m supposed to just let darkness win, let it take over my sister?”

“No, but you don’t have to constantly make her feel like shit for who and what she is. Don’t you get it by now! Yes, darkness lies inside her, but trust me I’ve seen inside her heart, and no matter how annoying it is, her every decision is led by good. It’s the love that has always surrounded her that holds together her compassion, her humanity. Instead of trying to deny her darker nature she should be using everything she possesses to fight those against her!”

“Marie-.”

“She’s darkness and light combined!” I callously interrupted, now so close to Andrea’s face I could see the tiny flicks of green in her blue depths, could hear the unrelenting pounding of her heart, could see the ceaseless worry she tried to hide. “Trust me, Marie can see through both of our shit!”

“Is that supposed to be a threat?” she whispered, fear swimming in her gaze, panic that for once had nothing to do with me.

I took a step back, “No, more of a warning. Our goals are the same, our means of getting there... may be a totally different story, but my point is this; how long before Marie starts to overpower me?”

The stunned disbelief in Andrea’s eyes was obvious, and I grinned at her inability to hide her feelings before me which was so dissimilar to her skill at hiding them opposite Marie. “what, thought she was the weak one? It’s okay so does Marie, and while she doesn’t realize her true powers, she is. But even I know there comes a time when she won’t be, and you know what will happen then... don’t you?”

“What?”

I beamed with a certain depraved pleasure, “Secrets ... will be revealed.”

Long dark lashes swept down across my cheeks, my body halted before with an uncontrollable shiver my darker identity was lifted from my immobile form as Marie took back control. It was as easy as stepping into the comfort of a well worn pair of jeans. My eyes opened, everything oddly appearing as it once had except for the slightly dazed expression upon my sister’s baffled face.

“What’s going on, Drea?” I asked cautiously, my eyes trying to reach hers to no avail. “I couldn’t sense her taking over. It was like having no control over your body’s functions.”

I slumped lazily against the bed trying to shake the slight feeling of fatigue, or the unease at the realization that my sister still had not spoken, “I felt like I was stuck inside a dark room, and yet there was no door. Did she come out?”

Her eyes finally focused in on me, watching me freakishly close as if trying and yet failing to get a glimpse of the evil I kept inside. “Oh yes, she certainly revealed herself. Unfortunately she divulged everything I didn’t want to know.”

…………………………………………………………………….

The sound of water hitting tile engulfed the room, steam like a fog wafting across the floor rose to kiss my face, my curls seeming to droop in the sudden humidity as on silent naked soles I walked closer towards the porcelain sinks. This space did not hold good memories for me; the same could be said for most rooms in this institution and yet this cemented imprisonment held a special place in my heart. A spot reserved for hell on earth. It held the one true recollection I contained when all hope had seemed lost, that what the jury and judge believed had been true. It held my agreed conviction that I had truly lost my mind, and with just that bleak thought of the past infiltrating my mind as I grabbed a towel my grip tightened on the sink’s ceramic surface.

The resonance of the water seemed to penetrate the silence and still I was alert enough to check the pockets of darkness for evil lurking, lucid enough to realize everywhere I went always lied a chance for danger. I was actually quite stunned Andrea had allowed me this solitary moment of peace, had allowed me freedom in the wake of such fear. Fear I could still see no matter how well she tried to keep it hidden, fear I assumed consumed her mind to the point that at last in her extreme suffocating ideals of protection had allowed me a small glimpse of escape, I thought to myself as I began wiping away the steam from the mirror.

As my reflection became clear I found myself wishing with every fiber of my being that for once hazel would remain just that; a mere color, and yet even as the wish formed inside my mind I watched slowly as tiny flicks of honey brown began to chip away, scarlet lying in its wait. I watched as what was once white transformed into that unforgiving black making the crimson tint glow while golden sun kissed skin seemed to darken as if slowly rotting by evil from within, and shadows crept the length of my skin; caressing its surface as only a lover would. And upon those lips so identical to mine lied a smirk so opposite of joyful, so cruel in its intent I found myself once again wishing I had never uncovered the mirror at all.

“Not as saintly as you thought, huh?” she said mockingly. 

Biting my tongue knowing how much she enjoyed to provoke me, I replied, “no one is, it seems. You goaded me into doing this. Into setting up my sister, but what did it prove?”

Brows furrowed over furious ruby tinted eyes, she exploded, “what are you talking about? It proved everything!”

“You know what I think it proved? I think it proved that you don’t know anything about that night, just like you know nothing about my sister.”

“She was scared,” my darker identity insisted. “The mighty Andrea, fierce protector was terrified that you’d finally find out the truth!”

I snorted in exasperation, “the only thing my sister is scared of is losing me.”

“Exactly,” she raged. “Now how far do you think she’d go to prevent anything happening to you?”

Sighing, I turned back towards the door that would lead me from this nonsense. “I don’t have time for these fucking riddles.”

She laughed, her words taunting as well as halting my movement towards the exit, “Oh, but you have time for Andrea’s lies, well meant or not. The one thing you can’t ignore Marie, is that our dear sweet sister is hiding something from you.”

“Oh my god! And you’re so different?”

“There’s a difference between me and her. I hide what I know you can’t handle, she tries to prevent you having to handle anything at all!”

I allowed a small break in my composure, my chin quivering even as I struggled to suppress it before I allowed myself to face her again, for I knew even if I wanted with all my heart to pretend otherwise that there was truth in her words.

“And how is that wrong?” I whispered.

“It’s not wrong,” she stated simply, her eyes unable to miss the emotion I failed to hide, and condemning me for its allowance. “It just won’t work! Marie, why can’t you see pass your pathetic yearning for family, and finally distinguish them for what they are… weak! Why can’t you understand this? Andrea is no different than your helpless Mother.”

My injured gaze feel towards the blankness of the white tile, the room seemed to lose its color like a photo fading, crimson taking its place as a decay began from within as if everything that lived, breathed, experienced the joys of life had begun to die inside. My blood felt like lava beneath my skin, and I could hear the sound of my heart beat as if it echoed throughout the room as the lights began to flicker.

I panted as I tried to control not only my powers but my emotions, “there… is… no… comparison.”

She laughed sinisterly, her cackle bouncing off the walls as if in surround sound, “Oh really? It seems I’ve hit a nerve. I see a very striking resemblance. They both want nothing to do with this world.”

“Stop it,” I warned, unable to impede the water now gushing from the sinks, and watching dazedly as the colorless liquid quickly filled its depths before brimming onto the floor around me.

I could easily see the pleasure she took in my agony as she proceeded her derision, “they both are pitiful and feeble while the strong suffer around them.”

“My sister,” I began only to feel the tremor of the very foundation I stood on shaking as each word fell from my lips, “is nothing like my mother.” Mirrors crashed perilously around me, shards floating among the water; appearing like broken puzzle pieces showing me a glimpse of a person I no longer recognized as they drifted pass me. And still My darker twin stayed intact.

“They both fear what they don’t understand. Andrea ignores this side of you just like your mother ignored everything your Grandmother taught her! It got your Abuela killed, just like its gonna get you killed!”

Squeezing my eyes shut, my hands coming up to cover my ears I fell onto jean clad knees, sinking into not only water but despair, screaming, “Shut up! Shut up!”

My voice pulsated along the quaking walls, the ground trembling beneath my form as finally within my shrieks the mirror before me shatters, taking along with it my callus tormentor, debris slashing superficial cuts along my skin as shards dispersed.

And then… nothing.

Silence resumes as my eyes reopen; its tint now back to its usual shade as I survey the turmoil of my turbulent breakdown, and just as I began to pick myself up I heard that unmistakably laughter echoing throughout the room.

Terrified I glanced around me, curls damp, legs pulled up to my chest, tears the color of blood dripping from my chin.

“That was not very nice, Marie,” I heard it whisper within my mind. “I’m afraid you can’t get rid of me that easily. You really shouldn’t use your powers like that. You know how draining they can be,” she blissfully mocked.

Clutching my pounding skull, praying for a way to rid her from my thoughts, I screamed, “get out of my head!”

Pulling at my curls whilst tears continued to trickle from my cheeks; red droplets transforming colorless puddles pink as the lights persistently waver frantically before several hanging lamps burst completely; sparks flying down around my hunched figure.

“I’m not weak,” a whispered mutter I repeatedly chant into the dimness, refusing to believe that I’ll soon join my Grandmother, “I’m not weak.”

“You are weak!” that cruel voice heartlessly erupted within my skull, “you are so afraid of what you’ll find that you won’t allow yourself to remember that night.”

“No,” I cried faintly.

“That night… Marie, this can’t continue. You have to remember. How Andrea was getting ready, and how you watched her with envy in your eyes…” and as suddenly as that voice began it disappeared.

I remained curled up on the ground… only…

The continuous sound of the shower had stopped, the floor no longer shook beneath my palms, I no longer felt any water seeping into my jeans chilling not only my body but my damned soul, and as I allowed my terrified gaze to finally pierce open I realized that what surrounded my trembling shape was not that horrible room.

No, not a disaster of my own making…

No, this was much worse…

I was home.

I rose erratically to my frozen feet, my clothes no longer drenched, a shudder running throughout my shape that had nothing to do with the temperature, but almost as if a forewarning as I turned to absorb the view of the long upstairs hallway. My scrutiny blurring through my liquefied anguish as my eyes surveyed its cream colored walls displaying unquestionably expensive art, its beautiful display of flowers bursting from the huge vase lying beneath the huge window at the halls conclusion, the red carpet so soft to touch running along the gleaming wooden surface, the gorgeous chandelier removing every speck of obscurity that dared to linger within this space; the only darkness allowed entrance in this home being its horrific secrets soaked into its foundation.

Wheezing chaotically I turned towards my wicked companion, gazing at her with eyes of panic, “how did we get here? What did you do?”

My menacing copy merely smirked at the fear apparent on my features, “Nothing. As I’ve said your stronger than I give you credit for, and as you learn to control your powers you grow stronger than me.”

Gazing around frantically as if searching for a way out I turned towards her fully, for once truly facing myself, “what are you talking about? I don’t want to be here.”

“Obviously you do. Andrea said once you learned to penetrate a guardian’s mental shield that you could enter anyone’s, did you really think your own mental armor was not included?”

Brows furrowed as I tried to search my befuddled mind, “but I wasn’t trying…” shaking my head vehemently, my curls swinging out around my trembling form, “ I don’t think I want to know the truth.”

“We wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.”

Suddenly our voices weren’t alone and my gaze slowly turned towards the sound, my feet dragging my resistant form towards the closed door, my averse mind begging for me to stop and yet my hand as if having a resolve all its own rose unsteadily pushing back its white surface, and quickly sheathing me back into memories…

“This sucks! I don’t understand why I can’t go with you,” I pitifully moaned as I fell back atop Andrea’s plush bed, wishing with a shattered heart that I too was getting ready to meet Dad for dinner.

Andrea as if ignoring my broken plea continued brushing her long tresses at her vanity, staring at her mirror image as if somehow her reflection would alter. “You know Mom is not going to change her mind, Marie.”

“But why can’t Adrianna watch the brat? You know we barely get to see Dad as it is,” I whine as I sit up to meet her slightly irritated reflection.

Rolling her eyes in annoyance that had nothing to do with me Andrea turned towards my crumbled features, “you know Mom doesn’t care about how often we see Dad. Hell, if she could have her way she’d blot his whole existence from her life completely.”

Confusion lining my features, “but… wouldn’t that include us? I mean to completely exclude him from her history would erase us? You think Mom regrets having us?”

Drea turned back towards her vanity applying gloss upon her lips while clearly hearing the heartbreak in my tone, “No, of course not, Anna.”

Her words spoken didn’t hold half as much conviction as it normally held when she was adamant about something, and it made my voice quiver with unexpressed emotion, “she’s not the same anymore… especially after having Courtney.” I paused despondently, my eyes transfixed on the trembling of my palms atop my lap, “do you really think she regrets having us? Are we a mistake?”

I felt the bed dip as Andrea took a seat beside me, her fingers grasping my trembling chin forcing me to meet her eyes, “Anna, no one could ever regret having you. I just think that sometimes when we speak about Dad it makes her think about everything they once had, everything she gave up for this,” she replied, her arm sweeping around the room gesturing towards the wealth that lined every available space.

“Sometimes… I wish… I wish we were back home in that small apartment,” I whispered as Andrea rose to slip into her black boots.

“You and me both, Ann.” she turned to take one final glimpse at her full length reflection, fixing her mini skirt, her eyes oddly sad, “you just have no idea how much I wish that sometimes.”

“Drea-.”

“Anna, can you come downstairs now!” our mother’s shrill voice interrupted from the staircase.

“And the wicked …witch beckons from the hall. You better go before she comes in here looking for you.”

I grinned for the first time that night knowing Andrea really wanted to replace the W with a B on her nickname for our mother but restrained for me, “aren’t you coming?”

“Be there in a sec,” she muttered as if wanting to avoid dealing with the voices outside her bedroom for as long as possible. I paused at the door at Andrea’s continued voice, “Anna, you know Dad and I love you. I’ll bring you a surprise on the way home.”

Watching as my younger self grinned at Andrea she then turned completely blind to everything around her and walked directly through me; my skin dissolving, separating entirely as I felt a piece of myself travel through my form like a hand glides through smoke before I once again materialized behind her. I watched my former self pause gasping as I too tried to catch my breath before she stared straight at me as if suddenly she saw me clearly before her.

“Anna, I am talking to you,” our mother’s piercing voice broke into the silence and as if dusting off a cobweb my younger self turned away from me.

Whirling quickly towards my sinister clone I asked, “could she see me?”

She smirked, “I doubt it, probably more of feeling she can’t understand… but then again knowing you… who knows. Maybe you could, and its just one more thing you suppressed. You’re quite good at that, ignoring what you don’t want to face. Must be a family trait,” she mocked with a laugh.

“Oh god, do me a favor, and shut up.”

We walked further into the hall while I discounted that ominous laughter coming from my side watching as my mother and Rick met my former unhappy figure at the top of the spiral staircase, my mind wondering what was so traumatic about this night that I blocked it so harshly from my thoughts, what part of the puzzle was I truly missing…   

Mom once again dressed in her high-priced finery; her lavender ball gown, its crystals that encased its bodice glowing under the chandelier’s light, its silk brushing against the staircase as she traveled up to meet me, her silken hair swept away from her beautiful features in an elegant up-do, her makeup flawless, and yet the frown upon her lips when facing me remained permanent. “Anna, we were supposed to leave twenty minutes ago.”

I sighed, annoyed at her assumption that I had anything to do with their delay as I barely spared a glance at Rick’s expensive tux, his gleaming black shoes, his gold pretentious Rolex, the equally obnoxiously expensive cufflinks adorning his wrist as he spoke with Andrew on his cell. My eyes were about to leave his figure when quickly at finding my sight captured upon him he sent a disgustingly seeming leering wink my way. Frowning up at him I regrettable noted that recently he had begun to stare at me peculiarly, almost making me feel vulnerably naked, uncomfortable in my own skin even entirely covered as I now was in my jeans and black tee.

“Anna, Anna! I am talking to you,” my mother harshly interrupted, having to literally snap her fingers before my eyes. “Did you hear a word I just said?”

Ignoring my burning impulse to scream, I smiled; hope diminutive in size within my fragile heart had me secretly wishing that she wouldn’t be able to resist my dimples, something that in the past helped me to get my way with her, “Mommy, can’t I go with Andrea this one time? I know I failed my test, but-.”

“Anna, our decision has been made. You’re watching Courtney tonight,” she replied without an ounce of emotion, her attention more intent on her compact mirror than my crestfallen expression.

Stomping my bare feet in frustration, I exploded, “why can’t Adrianna do it?”

Pausing in fixing her imaginary flaw, eyes identically to mine glared down at me before giving me her full attention, Rick now intent on our conversation, “Adrianna isn’t home, nor is she the one who failed to comply with the rules in this house. You are expected to keep your grades up, and I don’t think that’s an unrealistic expectation. It isn’t as if I ask much from you girls.”

No, just the uprooting of our lives, the acceptance of your new supposed happily ever after, and most heartbreaking of all… the sacrifice of the rare nights I have to spend with my father, I screamed from within.

But externally I simply said, “but Dad-.”

Her face completely deformed at the mere mention of my father, her eyes blazing with golden fury, a scowl upon her pink lips, “oh god Anna, not tonight! Please do not ruin my evening with talk of your father.”

Heels clicked against the floorboards in slow descent before pausing at my side, “Oh no, we wouldn’t want to ruin a night full of deception, conniving rich folks persuading people out of their hard earned money to fund a corrupt platform built on lies.”

Rick had moved noiselessly like a predator among its prey until he paused directly behind Andrea, his breath sweeping softly against her skin, “nice to know your views on my politics.” His fingers brushed gently against her neck letting them glide through her long honey blonde strands as I watched my sister’s jaw clench at his repellent proximity.    

Ignoring everything before her; my anguish, Andrea’s eyes imploring her own, our Mother commenced chastising us, “you girls really should appreciate your Stepfather more. I don’t think you realize all the hard work he does, and the quality time he sacrifices that he could be spending with us.”

This repetitive lecture was always the same all the while my Mother’s eyes adoringly gazed up at Rick making me wonder if she had ever looked at our father that way.

Our Stepfather smirked in amusement that only he could feel, “Carmen don’t lecture,” he teased while still caressing Andrea’s neck, a gesture that appeared innocent… until I saw the flash of sadness in Andrea’s eyes, bewilderment filling my own. “We all know of Andrea’s love for me,” he whispered, his arms coming around her waist to hug her towards him tightly; her body imprisoned within his hold as he continues to murmur, his joyful eyes intent upon the grimace on her lips, “it’s almost as much as I love her.”

Completely oblivious Mom continues, “now don’t you feel bad for your words, Andrea. I really think you should apologize to your father.”

From Andrea’s stiffened form I could tell she would rather chew rocks before she ever apologized to Rick. Her arms quickly extended out, harshly breaking from his hold causing Rick’s snide smirk to grow as she whirled furiously, purposely towards our mother, “Although you like to pretend as if I don’t, I already have a father.”

My mother sighs wearily as if dealing with us physically drained her, “Andrea, really, do we have to do this tonight?”

I felt Rick budge closer to my side, his disgusting fingers now playing in my curls, his eyes squarely on Andrea’s be-stilled features, “and I would never dream of attempting to take his place.” Wrapping an arm around my shoulder, hugging me close to him before he continued, his eyes still glued to hers, “no, replacing your father is not what I have in mind at all.”

Firm fingers grasped my chin, his green gaze searching my confused hazel, “I swear Anna, you get more and more beautiful every time I see you.”

There was this awkward silence as he stared upon me, almost… unlike that of a father and more that of a lover before realizing this lapse of ill at ease stillness his deceivingly charming eyes went back to my mother’s reflective features smoothly inserting, “almost as beautiful as your mother.”

Numbly, I cautiously observed the telltale rose colored blush enter my mother’s cheeks knowing any questionable discontented silence experienced would now go unacknowledged. My mother’s expression completely transformed into one of besotted love as Andrea’s firm grip grasped my shaken arm physically snatching me from Rick’s hold.

Rick smiled innocently into Andrea’s barely disguised anger, “Yeah well, while you two disgustingly flirt and play happy family, Anna can walk me to the door.”

Our Stepfather looks at his watch before replying to his oblivious other halve, “actually dear, we better get going ourselves.” His hand brushes my mother’s waist almost pushing her towards the stairs before he pauses back to our now forgotten forms, “Oh and Andrea, do enjoy your meal with your father. It’s so rare that he can spend such quality time with you.”

Andrea forever rising to the bait, “and I wonder why that is?” Her accusing eyes swung angrily towards our mother.

“Now Andrea, there really is no need for that tone. You know what, maybe Will is a bad influence on you. Just maybe, it isn’t only Anna that needs to stay home tonight.”

Rick seeing the distress upon Drea’s enraged face quickly stroked my mother’s arm seeming to calm her inner fury, “No Carmen, you know how much Andrea looks forward to this.”

My sister’s mouth mimicking my own as it fell open at his clear willingness to for once come to Andrea’s defense, while inwardly I raged, what about me? What about how much I looked forward to it?

“No, I think Andrea deserves a night out with her father,” he continued while smiling oddly ominously towards my big sister as our father’s horn sounded outside. “I think this most certainly is one ride Andrea really shouldn’t miss.”

Eaten alive with jealousy and an intense sense of forlorn the three forms of me watched as my sister blindly raced eagerly down the stairs, her heels clicking against polished wood, her blonde hair streaming out behind her, a glorious grin set upon her lips at the rare chance at freedom. With a small beam thrown over her shoulder just for me I gazed down dejectedly fixated as she continued her sprint out into the faintly rainy night, running naively contented directly towards death’s inevitable embrace…

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