The memorial was filling with local people, all ones I recognised from the shops and the schools and the emergency services, but I was still stood far away with just Riley beside me. He has his arm around my shoulders as we stood in silence, watching everything unfold as they set up the stage, the microphone and the table that had refreshments on for after the speeches. Could I even do my speech?

"Hey, Grace, come on. It's okay. It'll be okay." I hadn't realised how much I was shaking until Riley spoke. My arms were wrapped so tightly around me that they were beginning to ache.

"I-I... I can't." I could barely breathe. This place had too many memories, good and bad, that were now filtering and mixing in my mind. Riley quickly pulled me into a hug and although I didn't retaliate, it felt so nice to have that comforting touch from him. We stayed like this for a minute, something neither of us would normally do, and when he finally felt I had calmed down enough he let me go and stood in front of me. "I'm sorry, Riley. I understand if you don't want to be near me any more. I'm not the same person I used to be and it's not fun. I'm a mess right now."  Riley shook his head as he held his arms out and grabbed my shoulders.

"Grace, I'm not going anywhere. I was an idiot for not talking to you before but honestly I didn't know what to say. It sounds so fucking stupid when I say it out loud. I kept writing texts and deleting them. What could I say that would actually help? We both lost a best friend, but you had to deal with all the horrors, I didn't..." He let out a long breath. "I'm here, through it all now. Whatever you may need. If you can forgive me." I finally lowered my arms from my body and offered him a hug which he greatly accepted.

"Of course I can, Riley. I never hated you, or was upset with you. I owe you my life. If you hadn't called the police, I don't even want to think of what may have happened. You saved me." Another hug ensued but this one was tight and full of meaning. All those years of friendship and suddenly, in this hug, it felt like our friendship was stronger and closer than ever before. "Is Jenna going to be here?" I asked as we pulled out of the hug once more. Even though my life had changed, I was hoping Riley's was the same as it was before. I wanted something to have stayed the same. Riley shifted awkwardly which told me all I needed to know.

"Um, I don't know, to be honest. I think she might come to the ceremony but we aren't together any more. It just didn't work out." His shoulders slumped, there was most likely a big story behind this but right now wasn't the time and place for me to pry. I just offered him a smile.

"I hope you're holding up okay, and whatever happened wasn't too bad." He let out a small smile and nodded, but it told me It didn't end well. We fell into a comfortable silence for a second, just the noise of the crowd behind us and the people setting up mixed with the slight breeze that rustled the breeze and the singing birds. .It was peaceful, it was quiet.

"Grace." Someone put their hand on my shoulder and within an instant I was transported back to the basement, where Tony would put a hand on my shoulder and whisper into my ear. I screamed as I leapt away from the person, hiding behind Riley who stood in shock at my reaction.

"Fucking hell, really? You think sneaking up on her is going to end well? After everything she's been through?" Riley was already shouting at the anonymous person I was too scared to look at. The smell of the gloop was back, making me feel nauseous where I stood. Gone were the noises of the birds and the cool breeze, now I felt the heat of the basement and heard the scraping of the spoon in the pot. I scratched at my arms, my body fighting the feeling of the drugs and the withdrawals I was having. At least down in the basement I didn't often feel fear, or pain, or anything really. Now I was panicking, I was scared, I was anxious.

"I'm sorry! I didn't think-"

"Yeah, damn right you didn't think. What's this fucking memorial for? And you choose for it to be right where two of the women were kidnapped? You guys are useless." I tried to centre myself again as Riley continued his tirade. I pinged the hair band on my wrist as I breathed in and out, desperate to come back to the present. This time it seemed more difficult. Last time I had Spencer with me. I needed something else to help me, someone else, anything else.

"Riley..." I breathed out as I grabbed for his sleeve. My heart was beating double it's normal pace, i could feel the sweat beading on the top of my head. I knew this was a terrible idea. Riley stopped himself mid-sentence as he heard me speak, looking behind at me.

"Jesus! Grace?" He spun himself round and pulled my face up to look at him. "It's okay, you're here, I've got you." Tears were pricking the corners of my eyes as I panicked. "Grace... focus on me. Come on." He held my face up to look at him as he instructed me. "Breathe in, copy me." He took a deep breath in, which I followed. "Breathe out." I copied again. He continued doing this, neither of us paying attention to anything other than each other, our eyes locked on each other as if nothing else in this world existed. He was helping me cope, and it was working!
Finally calm, I offered a quick glance at the anonymous person who had created this sudden mess in my life. It was the Mayor of our town. Riley had just sworn at the Mayor?!

"Miss Grace, please accept my sincerest apologies." The Mayor was looking rather anxious as he spoke to me. "I did not mean to startle you, I was just going to let you know that the memorial will begin in a few minutes and we would like you to speak once I've done the introduction. I can understand if you need longer. I'm sorry once again." I looked over at Riley, anger on his face like an upset older brother who had finally faced the person making his sister's life a misery. He seemed very protective.

"It's okay, I am still in recovery. I apologise for my reaction. I would like to speak at the beginning if that is okay. I am not sure I can stay until the end. As you can see, I'm on edge and I would rather get it over and done with." I looked over at Riley who gave me a supportive smile. I felt so much better just having him beside me. "Please, Mr Mayor, may I ask that Riley come on stage with me? He is the only support I have through this and if it becomes too much, he can help me." I hadn't even asked Riley but I knew he would agree. The Mayor nodded enthusiastically as he gestured for the two of us to follow him to the stage. This was it, I was about to make my first public appearance since it all happened...
I was going to do this for Penny.