“Pup, I’m going somewhere later at night.”

“Where? With whom? Why?” Soobin asks continuously before Yeonjun could even answer.

Yeonjun chuckles and grabs Soobin’s wrist to make him sit on his lap. Both of them are currently at the rooftop, alone with just cold wind. “It’s my cousin’s birthday party and I need to be in there,” Yeonjun said, placed his arm around Soobin’s waist and the other hand on his thighs.

“Oh, j-just be careful then and don’t drink too much. Y-you’re still a minor,” Soobin reminds Yeonjun with hint of melancholy tone in his voice.

“You’re not going to tell me not to come?”

“Will you?” Soobin’s eyes brighten. “I-I mean n-no, no. You should go, it’s your cousin’s birthday, anyway,” he answered.

Yeonjun nods, “Yeah. I don’t really want to but I just can’t. You know? Parents,” Yeonjun replied. “Sorry about it,” he apologized.

“No, my goodness! Why are you saying sorry? It’s fine! I-it’s not like you’re going to do bad things or so whatever… right?”

Soobin stared at Yeonjun, hoping for Yeonjun to affirm what he said but it took second and Yeonjun’s just still staring at him. So, Soobin pursed his lips and looked away, started pulling his thumbnails.

“Of course, I won’t Pup. Why would I do such thing?” he heard Yeonjun.

Soobin widely smiles and looked at Yeonjun then hugs him. “You scared me! P-please, please, don’t be an asshole, Yeonjun. Please don’t hurt me, I know you will but please don’t,” Soobin begged, trying not to cry.

Yeonjun rubs his back, “I won’t, babe. I won’t, so don’t worry about it,” Yeonjun assured him. “Can I have a kiss instead?”

Soobin pulled himself and kissed Yeonjun’s lips and Yeonjun responded gently. “Don’t worry, okay? I’ll message you,” Yeonjun said and smiles.

“Yes, I’ll wait for it,” Soobin agrees and kissed the older again and started making out in their sits.

Beomgyu’s chest feels like getting stab for thousand— no, million times. He mastered up all his courage to tell Soobin how he really feels but when he heard how sweet Soobin’s voice while talking to Yeonjun, he just want to vanish.

Beomgyu turn his back from the door and started walking away, brushing off the tears from his cheeks. He’s walking mindlessly and saw two students that are talking on the corridor.

Beomgyu grabs Taehyun’s hand and dragged him away from the campus. Hueningkai left dumbfounded when Beomgyu did it. He suddenly feels mad especially that Taehyun didn’t even protest on how Beomgyu dragged him when Taehyun doesn’t want getting touched.

It’s 10 in the evening, Soobin’s been staring at his phone for hours now and not minding all the activities he should do that needed to be passed for tomorrow. He’s tapping his feet on the floor, couldn’t wait anymore for Yeonjun’s messages.

“Why isn’t he texting me?” Soobin wondered and bites his fingernails. “Yeonjun, please,” he whispered.

He’s now overthinking. He knows Yeonjun can’t change so sudden. He knows Yeonjun might be with other person right now having good time but he trusts him. For real, how can you trust someone like Yeonjun? Soobin’s just so dumb.

Another hour had passed and he decided to scroll on the Instagram app to distract himself. He accidentally taps someone’s story and he started tapping his screen and stops when the story tagged with Hueningkai and Yeonjun’s account.

Soobin’s hand started shaking. He expected it, he knows this will happen but Yeonjun assured him, right? Yeonjun told him he shouldn’t worry. But why is there’s a girl in his lap, almost stripped and grinding on his crotch and his expression shows he really loves it?

Soobin’s phone slipped on his hand and he covered his face with his palms. He started crying. He started crying like a kid who lost his mom. He’s in pain. He’s so much hurt and angry.

He stands up from his bed, pulled a cotton hoodie, and went out while dialing someone’s number. “B-Beomgyu, where are you? C-can you join me? Please?”

Believe it or not, Beomgyu moves as fast as he can the moment he heard Soobin’s crack voice. He went out of their house and went to where Soobin is. They meet in a park, beneath the Han river and Beomgyu saw Soobin looking at how the water getting blown by the wind but what he actually noticed first is the bottle of soju beside him.

Beomgyu sighs and went beside Soobin, leaving a small space. He heard Soobin sniffing and wiping his tears after another then engulf liquor than he wanted to throw up as well. Beomgyu shook his head because he knows Soobin doesn’t drink.

“Han Bridge is so cool, right? It’s so high and long,” Beomgyu started a topic. “I really like walking on it especially when the sun is about to set,” he added and Soobin’s still crying.

“Also, when I was like in my junior years, my shoes accidentally fall of in there. I cried so hard and my mom was really angry,” he continued the story and he heard Soobin chuckles a bit.

“W-why did it fall?” Soobin asks between his sniffs and sobs.

“Maybe because… I’m not really holding on it too tight? Or the shoes aren’t really for me?”

“Why are you like that,” Soobin laughs. “That’s too deep. M-maybe because you’re just so dumb to let it fall,” Soobin answered and poured a drink on his styro cup.

Beomgyu just lets him do what he wants. “Really? Maybe then,” Beomgyu agrees and looked at the running water. “Because if I hold on to it— or if I just know that it’ll fall on the wrong place, I already hold on to it so tight… really tight,” Beomgyu remarked.

A sound of a bottle, touching the metal bench was heard when Soobin’s done pouring the cup and drinks it. “Yeonjun is…”

Beomgyu’s first clenched when he heard that name from Soobin’s lips but he didn’t react at all, he’s just listening without looking at Soobin because he doesn’t want to look at him in that state.

“Yeonjun… Y-Yeonjun— fuck,” Soobin sobs so hard, that even his breathing isn’t normal anymore. “W-why? What the fuck! Y-Yeonjun, you’re so f-fucking— fuck!” he cried even louder.

Beomgyu’s just in there, hearing how Soobin cried for a useless person because it’s always like this. The scenario is always like this and Beomgyu’s not tired of hearing the same shit over and over again.

“H-he’s an asshole— he’s stupid motherfucker. H-he’s— he’s… And I still like him…”

Beomgyu looked up to stop his tears from coming out then he inhaled so deep and faced Soobin who’s ugly crying— clearly drunk already with just half bottle.

“Let’s go home, Soobin,” Beomgyu invited him in his calm tone.

“H-he’s my home tho?”

“Since when a home made who’s living in it this miserable, huh?”

“I-I don’t know! B-but if I’m with him… I’m with him, I-I’m safe,” he defended. “B-but he’s just an asshole but s-still… Still I can feel that he likes me!”

"Safe..." Beomgyu scoffs and bit his lower lip.

Beomgyu wanted to shout at Soobin already but since he know it’ll be useless he just keep his mouth shut. He held Soobin’s hand and made him stand up then Beomgyu lowered himself to piggyback Soobin and they started walking home.

“Why do you like him so much? It’s like he hurts you more than he likes you,” Beomgyu asks, still in his calm tone.

Soobin’s already closing his eyes but he’s still awake. “Y-you know, Yeonjun… He hurts me so much, right? Hit me and slap me and made me gag with his dick sometimes b-but you know… those cannot equate how much he protected me, Beomgyu.”

Soobin continued, “He saved me from that bastard Hansol, he freed me from guilt with Jaemin, he protected me, come to me when I needed him. He enrolled at the same academy with me and always sends me off home so he’ll know I’m safe from Hansol. He’s changing himself little by little and he’s taking care of me. That’s why I like him so much, Gyu.”

Why can’t Soobin see that all of those are also provided by Beomgyu? Why can’t he see that what Beomgyu’s giving is actually bigger than Yeonjun? Why is he so blindly in love with Yeonjun?

But Beomgyu didn’t protest, he just stays still and quiet. He can’t say anything or else Soobin will get upset at him. So he just forced himself to stop crying while carrying Soobin on his back, who’s finally sleeping.

“I’m here for you, Soobin. Why can’t you feel it?”