"Why did you buy a cake?"

"Seriously, you don't know what's today?" Yeonjun asks him with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Soobin thinks for a second. He knows it's familiar date but he can't remember it properly. What's the occasion and why's Yeonjun so serious about it?

They are inside Yeonjun's unit, alone, with a small box of cake on the table and they are sitting across each other. Yeonjun's not in his mood and is about to explode any minute while Soobin's anxious and nervous, he can't calm himself.

"Open it," Yeonjun ordered.

Soobin just nods and pulled the tie at the top of the box then slowly opens it. His throat go dry, his hands shakes uncontrollably, his eyes began to water. He suddenly lost all his strength and fall off the floor.

How can he forget this day?

"It's his birthday, right? I really wanted to celebrate it with him but he's not here anymore and you know what happened, right Choi Soobin?"

"N-no... No. I-it wasn't m-my fault. I-I... I d-din't... I tried e-everything-"

"What?" Yeonjun scoffs and went to Soobin, he bents down to be on the same level and he grabs Soobin's collar. He looks at him with so much ranged. "It's not your fault? Asshole!"

Yeonjun throws a punch at Soobin and Soobin just takes it while crying. Another hit and hit and hit come on Soobin's face but he didn't protect himself. He thought he deserves it.

"Tell me! Say it! Why!? Why did you let it happen!? Why Choi Soobin!? Why did you let my brother die when you like each other? Why!?"

Soobin cut and numb lips parted when he heard Yeonjun said 'brother'. He couldn't believe it. Now, he finally realizes why Yeonjun looks familiar and he already saw him before. Now, what Yeonjun said before that he deserves to get hurt, makes sense and the 'date' that they did earlier finally makes sense as well.

"Y-you're Lee Jaemin's older brother?"

"Yes, I am. I am the brother of the kid that likes you so much, who got bullied so bad and you didn't do anything despite of authority that you have. I-if... If you just protected him... If you j-just... he wouldn't die, Soobin."

Warm tears landed on Soobin's cheek coming from Yeonjun who's above him. The older lets go of him and walks distant from him. Soobin is still on the floor couldn't move, he just suddenly feels weak.

"I... I regretted everything, everyday when it happened. I-if you are so mad at me, I-I am even maddest. I-I..." Soobin paused to sob. "I-I was so stupid for neglecting him..." he cried.

"You're worst, Soobin. I hate you so much. I hate you, I could kill you right now. I fucking hate you!" Yeonjun shouted in anger, eyes getting blurry.

"I-I'm... sorry, Yeonjun. I am r-really sorry..."

"Jaemin... Jaemin is dad's son from a mistake and that's why they never considered him as a family member. T-they made them change his name and throw away together with his mom and they are just sending him financial support. Aside from me Choi Soobin, you are the only one who takes care of him because even his mom hates him! So why!? Why didn't you do anything!?"

Soobin even burst on crying after hearing that story for the first time. He gets up and kneels in front of Yeonjun, crying so loud, hands clasp and started begging for forgiveness.

"I-I'm s-sorry! I'm s-s sorry, Yeonjun. I a-am..."

Yeonjun aggressively pulled him up and slam on the wall, strangling him, "Is your sorry going to get back his life? He won't! But if you just fucking take care of him, this will never happen!"

"I w-warned him about t-them too! I d-did my best to t-tell him not to go against t-them but- but he won't j-just listen!" Soobin tried to remove Yeonjun's hand.

"Then why? Then why did he end up like that!?"

"I didn't know he's sick! H-he never told me about it! I-if I just know-"

"Even if you fucking doesn't know about his condition, as someone who calls him friend or fucking more than that, as someone who makes him happy, as someone who kisses him and even fucked him, you should have fucking take care of him!"

Soobin's trying to pull out Yeonjun's hands off him because he can't breathe anymore. He's also trying to reach out Yeonjun but he's just glaring at him with so much raved, jaw clenching.

"You need to feel it too. You need to feel the same pain as well. You know why I don't want to help you with Hansol? It's because that's what you did to my brother too and when I got the opportunity to use you and treat you like a dog, I was so happy because you know what Soobin? Even on that simplest, dumbest thing, I can make you suffer."

Soobin's trying to utter a word but he couldn't. Yeonjun's grips are getting tighter that Soobin can already feel his end. He's already on the thought that he'll really get killed now for real.

And then Yeonjun let go of him that Soobin fall of the floor and started coughing, catching his breath while crying and holding on his chest.

Yeonjun lowered himself and grabs Soobin's hair to look at him. He observes the bruises he caused on Soobin's face, the redness, cuts, and blood on it. He doesn't care if Soobin's hurt, he doesn't care if Soobin dies, he doesn't care at all. He's really mad.

"Now, do you still like me Soobin?"

--
A/N: Hello! I know I said I'm not going to update today but something spectacular happened! So please give me time to say thank you everyone! I started writing fanfictions on January 2021 up to present and I started with a yeonbin book. Since then I've been patiently waiting, eager, and hoping to enter the tag "Yeonbin" with a higher rank .So all this time the only rank I've been wanting and hoping to enter is the tag "Yeonbin" just one high rank, even if it's top 100 over thousand books, I don't care. I just want to rank in there even for a day. One of my books did but it didn't last for a week and it ranks so low. I am grateful but I wanted a bit higher for it because it means special to me.

Then finally on March 26 while checking the books reads and notifications I saw a number I never expected to be. I quickly tap it to confirm cuz maybe I'm just hallucinating due to writing, studying, and using twitter the whole day but no, I am not.

BEHOLDEN ranks #2 on YEONBIN out of 2.85k stories.

Goddamn it I just felt my tears streaming wtf. I may sound overreacting or dramatic but I've been hoping for this rank for two years now and I didn't just ranked on hundreds but on top 2? My God! And seeing the other books ranking alongside with it contains hundred reads, I'm jus so happy and proud!

I don't know when will this last cuz it always changes. Maybe the day you're reading this A/N the ranks already changed but at least, even a glimpse of it, even in the shortest moment possible, I made it. I finally made it. So, thank you everyone.  Thank you so much. I owe this to you and will forever be grateful to you guys!