[not mine]

Aries: tickets to hell

Taurus: lace underwear

Gemini: a 5 lb bag of grass seed

Cancer: crayons

Leo: a vibrator (oh my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

Virgo: lemon-scented furniture polish

Libra: nudes

Scorpio: a stuffed animal

Sagittarius: an egg salad sandwich

Capricorn: $$$$$

Aquarius: DEEZ NUTS

Pisces: fruit gushers