Chapter 25

The woman looked to be in her early thirties, though she was an unfamiliar face, and seeing her leaving Ryan's house at this time of the evening did nothing but send a skittish shiver down my spine.

She had been laughing when she opened the door, stopping short at the sight of me. Her hair was pulled back from her face, sitting neatly at the top of her head, while her black coat was left unzipped, revealing a sophisticated ensemble of a ruffled blouse and a high waisted skirt. The woman seemed to embody professionalism, though the laughter lines surrounding her mouth gave reason to believe she wasn't as strict as she appeared.

Never the less, her intimidation factor was high as I steadied myself from the shock, taking a few hesitant steps backwards.

"I'm sorry," I stuttered, clearing my throat as I rung my hands behind my back, "I was looking for Ryan..."

There was a moment where she paused, a calculating look on her face before she smiled, moving the strap of her bag higher up on her arm. "Don't worry about it," she said smoothly, her voice calm as she turned her face away from me. "Ryan, someone's here to see you."

"Oh no," I said hastily, second guessing my decision on coming here tonight, "If you guys are busy – "

"Nonsense," she cut me off, shaking her head, "I was just leaving."

I opened my mouth to reply, seconds away from turning and running from my spot altogether, when Ryan rounded the corner. "What do you mean? Who's at the door?" he asked, pausing as his curious gaze landed on me

He stopped short, his green eyes as striking as they'd always been as they widened in surprise. It was apparent that he hadn't expected to see me, especially not today of all days, but when the curiosity and shock faded from his features they were left blank, giving me no clue as to what he was thinking.

I'd almost forgotten that the two of us were not alone at the moment until the woman, whose name I had yet to catch, cleared her throat while flitting her eyes between the two of us in amusement. "Well, I'd best be off then," she said, catching onto the tension between Ryan and I as she stepped out onto the porch. She turned to face Ryan. "Remember to call me when you have everything sorted out."

As Ryan nodded with compliance, she seemed satisfied, lifting her hand in a short wave before heading off towards the car that had been parked across the street.

Her statement did nothing but heighten the feeling of uneasiness, but after voluntarily forcing myself out of Ryan's life the past month, I didn't think I was in any place to question him about it.

When her engine started and she peeled off down the road, I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Her departure lifted an unpleasant amount of weight from my shoulders, but as I turned back to face Ryan, it was abundantly clear that it was just the two of us.

I was at a loss for words, standing there in front of him. He hadn't changed much in the time we'd spent apart, but his hair had grown longer, now messily coiffed on top of his head, and he hadn't shaved the past couple of days, his stubble growing out in a gruffer look than I was accustomed to.

It felt like we were two strangers meeting for the first time; the air awkward and charged with uncertainty.

"Zoe," he started hoarsely, digging his hands deep into his pockets as his shoulders tensed. Getting rid of the tickle in his throat, he continued, "What are you doing here?"

I gulped, forcing myself to get the words out. "I wanted to talk."

When he didn't responded right away, the weight of my heart became noticeable as it sunk to the pit of my stomach. He reached out with one hand to grab the door, and just as I thought he'd close it, wanting nothing more to do with me, he pulled it open wider, stepping aside to motion me in.

The door closed behind me and I found myself holding my breath in anticipation for what was to come. I didn't know how he'd react – whether he'd be happy to see me or angry with me for leaving. It was the unpredictability that had my nerves shaking as I followed him silently into the lounge.

With a simple nod of the head, he gestured at me to sit down. When he took a seat on the other end of the couch however, the short distance behind us felt like a palpable attempt at space – a defense mechanism to shield himself from me.

"So," I said, shifting uneasily, "Abbie loved your birthday present."

"That's good," he replied, his voice void of emotion, "I wanted her to enjoy it."

I brought my hand up, running my fingers through my hair in a nervous manner. "Yeah, and it got me thinking about what you were talking about on Christmas; about enjoying the days when everything was simple," I started to babble. "Then it was just you in my head, and I just, I wanted to come and see you and – "

"Zoe."

I hadn't realized I was letting my eyes wander around the room until he cut me off, effectively snapping my gaze back to his.

There was a sharpness to his look that had appeared all of a sudden, apprehension swirling in his irises before he spoke again. "What did you really want?" he asked, "Because I know you didn't drive all the way here after cutting me out of your life just to thank me for sending a birthday present to Abbie."

I sighed. "I said I wanted to talk," I said quietly, "But what I really wanted to do was apologize."

"For what?"

I raised an eyebrow incredulously. "For what?" I asked, wondering if he had suddenly lost all recollection of the past few weeks. "You said it yourself, I cut you out of my life – "

"Which was understandable – "

"Don't," I said fiercely, shaking my head. "Don't try and justify what I did. I had you wanting to help me through everything. Hell, I even had your family there for me, but I pushed you all away because I was scared."

"It was sort of my fault though," he countered, continuing on even when I tried to interrupt. "I should've known better. The paparazzi have been following me around for years, and even though I don't like it, I don't always notice it. I forget that they have their ways of finding out even the best-kept secrets. I let you walk away from me that day in the parking lot... and I let them interfere with your normal life."

"My life has never been completely normal Ryan," I said, my voice relatively calm. "I grew up with my parents not really in the picture and then I got pregnant as a teenager. Meeting you was one of the most normal things that has happened to me. And don't blame yourself for something that was out of your hands. I knew the risks of getting involved with you, and I was aware of the articles that were circulating online. I should've been more careful and understanding when you tried to help me."

"But you couldn't have known that they would show up at your house."

"And neither could you!" I yelled stressfully, causing him to flinch back at my force. I let out a slow breath, giving myself time to work out the mess in my mind before I spoke again. "I had the choice to leave you at any point. I could've walked away before any of this even started, but I didn't. I went to that premiere with you, I chose not to hide our relationship, and I fell in love with you."

His expression softened marginally at my words, and maybe, just maybe, I thought I might be getting through to him.

"I think I sort of just freaked out. Everything came crashing down around the same time and I wasn't ready for it. I was afraid to talk to you because I didn't know how you'd react, and in that whole mess, I ended up losing you."

He sighed, inching a smidge closer to me, his arm reaching out across the back of the couch to twirl the ends of my hair. "You haven't lost me."

While his actions were distracting, I had enough control over myself to send him a flat look. "You haven't tried to talk to me for weeks," I pointed out, "Not that I blame you for wanting nothing to do with me."

I could feel his gaze on me, even when I cast my head downwards to avoid it. I felt my breath hitch as his hand moved to grip my wrist, pulling me closer to him in an act of surprise. He was close now, with little room to separate us, and his focus was solely on me. Shock surged through me as his hand slowly trailed up my arm, his touch searing through my skin before his fingers splayed gently and hesitantly across my cheek.

"The only reason I haven't tried to reach out to you is because I didn't know how you'd react if I did," he reasoned quietly. "My job already had you running away, and I couldn't take it if you ended up lashing out at me again. So I kept my distance, no matter how hard it was."

"I must've put you through hell."

He nodded. "You did."

I let myself lean into his touch, closing my eyes to savor the moment. "I don't understand," I admitted. "You shouldn't be okay with this; you shouldn't be forgiving me so easily."

"Did you want me to yell and make a scene?" he asked, his eyebrows rising with hilarity, "Because I could. If that's what it takes to get you to put this whole thing behind us and keep moving forward then I'll do it."

I shook my head, the corner of my lip quirking upwards. "No, it's just," I sighed, meeting his gaze, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not giving you a chance to try and help. I'm sorry for being an idiot and letting my fear consume me so heavily that I took my anger out on you. And I'm sorry for not realizing all of this sooner; I just wanted some space, but I think I took too many steps back."

"Not too many," he countered, "Or else I wouldn't still be in love with you."

I paused for a moment, figuring out how to ask the question that was on the tip of my tongue. "Then who was leaving when I got here?" I asked meekly, my voice wavering.

His eyes sparkled with vague amusement. "Why? Jealous?"

I bit my lip – an action that didn't go unnoticed by Ryan. "Do I have a reason to be?"

He pushed a few stray hairs back behind my ear. "Not at all," he said sincerely. "She's the director of a film I was just cast in, and she was here going over some things in my contract."

"So nothing's going on between you two?"

"Nothing."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding, feeling my heart race as I lunged forward, wrapping my arms around his neck in a hug that was a month overdue. It was an action that was so simple, so effortless, that sometimes I forgot how comforting it was having someone wrap his or her arms around you and hold you close.

With my head on his shoulder, I could feel his heart beating through his shirt as his palm rubbed gentle patterns on my back. "Maybe we needed the time apart," he said, pulling back slightly so that our faces were a hair's breadth away from one another.

There was relief and promise swirling deep within his eyes. "And now?"

"Now," he replied lowly, his eyes flicking down to my lips, "I think we've spent enough time avoiding our problems."

"What about the paparazzi? And your fans?" I asked, fighting off the urge to lean in and close the distance between us. "Just because I haven't seen them lately, it doesn't mean they aren't always going to be around."

"It's like you said – they're always going to be there as long as I'm still famous."

My eyes narrowed. "You're not quitting your job," I said tenaciously.

"No," he chuckled lightly, pressing his lips to my cheek. His lips were warm and soothing, sending a spark of electricity through my veins as they skimmed the corner of my mouth. "If my fans are really my fans then they'll be supportive, and maybe you'll get recognized a few times when you're out with Abbie. The paparazzi on the other hand, will get bored when another story breaks, but if they don't, I promise that there will never be a time that I intentionally leave you to deal with them yourself. I'll always be there for you."

I cracked a smile. "Always, huh?"

He didn't falter once as he leaned in again, his breath fanning my lips. "If that's alright with you," he replied.

"It's more than alright," I said softly, before trailing my hands up his chest and pulling his head down so that our lips met.

Even though the action was based on impulse, I found myself hesitant in the aftermath. My lips were slow against his, trying my best to savor every flick of the tongue and the way our breaths mingled as one.

I'd known all this time that Ryan had stolen my heart, and it was pointless of me to try and live without it. The fear of jumping back into this relationship was still there, but I wanted to be with him, and in the end I knew that it would be worth it – craziness and all.

Ryan pulled back, meeting my gaze evenly. A flicker of concern crossed his features. "Are you sure about this?" he asked huskily, as though reading my thoughts.

"With all my heart."

He was the one to claim my lips next, kissing me thoroughly, causing my toes to curl in delight and a gasp to escape me. It was rough, sensual, and demanding. My body was burning as his hands fell down to grip my hips, and I moaned when his lips left mine, only to trail down my neck and deeper along the collar of my shirt.

It wasn't long before he had pushed me backwards on the couch, climbing on top of me so that the space between us disappeared in oblivion. I wound my legs around his waist, pulling him so that our lips met once more with a delicious passion that I could feel all the way down in my core.

My mind was clouded, but every part of my body was screaming for him.

His fingertips grazed underneath my shirt, sneaking upwards as I melted into his touch. He took up all my senses – I breathed in the scent of his aftershave, relished the sweet taste that lingered on his tongue, felt his stubble scratching softly on my skin, and heard his satisfaction as I brought him to the same level of bliss that I was soaring on. The friction of our bodies moving against each other was maddening, and something that I had gone all too long without.

When he picked me up after I'd been kissed breathless, I laughed, seeing the sly grin on his face as he pulled back while keeping his hold on me. His eyes glimmered with excitement and desire, more than likely a mirror image of my own, and his tongue darted out to trace along his lips.

I dragged myself back to him swiftly, putting my own mark on him as he guided us upstairs – desperate to reunite in a crazy, amorous, passionate explosion.

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"You know," I said absentmindedly, "Your brother really knows how to guilt trip someone."

He looked at me, a smirk on his face as he contained his laughter. "You're thinking about my brother right now?"

It was more than an hour later and the two of us were tucked underneath the covers of Ryan's bed, cuddling after reconnecting in an exhausting and exhilarating passion.

I rolled my eyes, shoving his shoulder playfully when he chuckled at my reaction. "Laugh all you want," I mused, "But I might not have shown up tonight if Dean hadn't talked to me today."

His hand trailed up my sides under the covers, a path of sparks lighting up along bare skin. Cupping my cheek and tracing his thumb against my bottom lip, his irises darkened. "Then I guess I should thank him... eventually."

As much as his touch lit an interest in me, I knew that I couldn't spend the night here in his arms, no matter how much I wanted to. I had Abbie at home, and I knew she would be looking for me early in the morning. I'd said all that I needed to, and more, and I knew that I would have to leave soon enough.

"So, tell me more about this movie that you signed onto," I requested, trying to steer the conversation away from anything that would tempt me to abandon my responsibilities.

Tucking my hands underneath the pillow that my head rested on, I waited, interested to hear about what he'd done over the past few weeks. I wanted to catch up, to just talk, but he stilled, giving me the impression that I'd said something wrong.

I just didn't know what it was.

"Ryan?" I started, lifting my head hesitantly, "What's wrong?"

He shook himself out of it, though his eyes betrayed him when he met my gaze. The teasing and happiness had disappeared, replaced with vulnerability, fear, and guilt. "I didn't... I didn't know that you'd take me back, and the movie..."

His voice was barely audible as he spoke and his low rambles were lost on me as confusion fueled my curiosity. "What?"

"The movie is an adaptation of a popular thriller and romance novel," he began slowly, regarding me warily. "I auditioned to play the leading actor months ago and hadn't heard back, but the guy who did get cast ended up having filming conflicts, so they called a few weeks back."

"That's great," I said happily, not seeing the problem.

He barely acknowledged my words as he continued to speak, as though waiting for the moment where he had to drop a bomb.

"I went in and read lines through with the female lead, and I guess the director thought that we had good chemistry in front of the camera. After a few more takes they'd offered me the role."

"And how is that a bad thing?" I asked, my next comment teasing as the sides of my lips lifted upwards. "Does the person cast as your love interest have a crush on you or something? Did you think I'd get mad now that we've sorted everything out between us?"

"It's not that," he gulped, not catching onto the joking tone I'd used, "But I wish it was that simple."

Aggravation bubbled in the pit of my stomach as I sat up in bed, using my arm to keep a sheet up against my chest. "Then what?"

His green eyes locked onto mine, and while they were able to ease the tension that was beginning to build, his next words crushed my heart.

"It starts filming next week... in Europe."

I was silent as it sunk in, but when my gaze drifted around the room, I noticed the suitcases that were half full of his belongings. They took up a large amount of space, barricading the front of his closet, but because I'd been preoccupied when Ryan brought me in here, they'd been glossed over.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So what?" My voice was raw with emotion as I felt tears building in my eyes. "Were you just going to leave the country without even saying goodbye? Did Dean know? Is that why he told me that you wouldn't wait around forever?"

"No." He shook his head quickly, reaching out for me as I pushed myself up off the bed. Grabbing my clothes off of the floor, I hastily threw them on. "My family doesn't know about it yet, because until tonight, I didn't know if I was going to take it."

"Why not?" I asked, my irrational and erratic train of thought coming to a halt. My clothes were on, and as Ryan pulled on a pair of pants over his boxers, I found myself able to think more clearly.

"Because of you," he stressed.

His words struck me, my eyes widening as he brought a hand up and shakily dragged it through his hair. "Me?" I said quietly, the word slipping from my lips in shock.

We were treading in fragile waters, having just sorted out one obstacle only to be faced with another.

"Yes you," he said, taking a step forward as I stayed rooted in place, "Because I didn't know if I could leave without at least talking to you first." He was less than a foot away from me now, pausing in his motions. His face outlined his frustration with the situation, with me, and with himself. "But Dean mentioned that he talked to you and said everything he could've said to get you to see reason, and I thought that if you didn't reach out to me, then maybe you didn't want to."

"I'd hardly had time to think about what he said before I came over here," I defended myself, though my voice was relatively level as I interrupted.

In a desperate need of strength, Ryan took one more step forward, running his hands down my arms until they intertwined with my own. "It wasn't planned for the director to drop by tonight, but she wanted me to take the job," he explained. "We went over the filming schedule, discussed what she had planned for me if I took the role, and by the time she was finished, I'd signed the contract. I figured that you needed more time, and with me completely out of the picture, you'd get the space you wanted and I could use the time to regain focus on my career."

Ryan exhaled as he finished, releasing the pent up energy in his lungs. I understood where he was coming from, about me needing time, because if Dean hadn't shown up at Abbie's birthday, I might've kept all thoughts about resolving my problems in the back of my head. He had always been free to make his own choices, and a month after a mistake on my behalf, that wasn't going to change.

"So you would've ended it?" I asked bravely, holding my breath as I awaited the answer, "Our relationship – you wanted out?"

He lent his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. "Not in the slightest," he breathed out, "But if that's what you would've wanted, I didn't think I was capable of moving on while being so close to you."

He was instilling in me the confidence he had with his feelings for me, but that didn't change the fact that I had no idea what I was going to do. It was just minutes ago that I believed I had regained my footing with Ryan, knowing that we were both willing to work for our relationship in whichever ways we needed to – and I still knew that. The problem was that the grasp on us being together wasn't as tight; it had loosened, and was wobbling with uncertainty.

I knew that I wanted him close, that I wanted him to stay, but it would also be unfair of me to ask that of him.

This was his career. It was something that he loved to do and had been given the privilege to experience, and I wasn't going to be the one to take that away from him.

Standing there in front of him, letting myself get lost in his eyes as they pulled me in, I saw the plea of emotion cross his features, begging me for a response.

I had been weak, pushing Ryan away because of my insecurities and faults, but now, I needed to be strong, or else I'd risk the relationship we were both so invested in.

I loved him, but I couldn't be selfish.

Mustering up all the courage I had, I closed the distance between us, my fingers gliding gently over the skin beside his lips. "I love you," I spoke softly, a certain conviction behind my words that made their meaning solid, "And distance isn't going to change that."

I kissed him then. He inhaled sharply at the first brush of our lips; mine moving on top of his slowly and smoothly. With every movement I was trying to convey the thoughts that were consuming me, as I couldn't find the words to explain. The kiss was short, but it left the both of us breathless when I pulled back, my eyes still closed in an attempt not to loose our connection.

"Go."

I forced my eyes open to see his reaction, and for the first time, I saw the faint trace of tears building in his eyes.

"Go to Europe," I continued, choking back the sobs that I wanted to release at the thought of him leaving. "Film the movie and make memories that you'll never forget. When all is said and done, if you still want to come home, I'll be here waiting for you."

A shiver, so inviting, trailed down my spine when his arms tightened around me. "You shouldn't have to wait for me Zoe," he said, "There will always be times when my job forces me to be apart from you."

"Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices for the people you love, and just hope that it'll all be worth it in the end."

While his lips lifted up into a soft smile, sadness pooled in his eyes. "I love you Zoe," he breathed, angling his head so that our breaths mingled and ours mouths aligned perfectly, "And no amount of time apart will change that."

I fell into his kiss immediately, knowing that it signified a new beginning for us.

That didn't mean I wasn't absolutely terrified of what was to come, because the future was never a sure thing, but I was ready to take a step forward in our lives – no matter how bittersweet the feeling was.

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And that's the ending! There will be an epilogue posted within the next week or so hopefully, so don't fret just yet. Also, many of you know that I have a surprise planned, but I don't think any of you have actually guessed it yet, despite the clues that I've given out.

In regards to something exciting: I will be editing this story and changing a few things around. If you guys know of any spelling/grammar mistakes throughout this story, plot holes, or even unnecessary scenes that could be cut, please tell me, as it makes this whole process easier! I want to make this story good enough to catch publishers' attention, and you guys are a huge part of that.

Remember to vote and leave a comment, and as this story comes to a close, all I have is undying love for each and every one of you – whether you've supported me from the day I first posted this or you're a new reader. <3