[Chapter Thirteen]

Chapter 13


Since the day of our first date it was plain to see that something had shifted between Ryan and I. Maybe it was that we were finally accepting our feelings, or maybe it was because the two of us just seemed to be more at ease with one another, but whatever the reason, the chemistry between us was flowing, and it didn't seem like it was slowing down anytime soon.

From the time I'd stepped into his house the following night, where he'd greeted me with a smile and a quick, yet amorous kiss, it felt as though I was living in a fairytale. Ryan was the knight in shining armor and I was the girl that, somehow, managed to catch his attention.

The way he treated me as the days passed was surprising, but not at all unwelcomed. Whenever we were around each other, it was as though he always found a way to touch me, and even if all I felt was the light pressure of his hand resting against the small of my back, it was the feeling of comfort that I found myself constantly craving. And although the attention and companionship would take some getting used to, what really made me smile was seeing him interact with my small, three-year-old bundle of joy.

It was clear to anyone that Abbie absolutely adored Ryan. Every time the two of them were together it made my heart beat twice as fast. There weren't many people in my life that truly accepted Abbie, and the fact that Ryan did made happiness surge through my veins.

As the days passed, a pattern started to develop. I'd more often than not wake up to a text on my phone from Ryan, and throughout the day, while I was in class or finishing up at work, we'd talk whenever the two of us could find the time. But when school was out or work was finished, it seemed as though Ryan was always there, and I didn't mind one bit.

The two of us hadn't talked much about what we were, if we were together or if I was his girlfriend, but in the moments that we had completely to ourselves, those things didn't seem to matter.

We were just us; happy, content, and enjoying our time together.

Time was whizzing by, and as the month of November came to a close, I was all too aware if how close my finals were. I'd booked off a fair amount of time from work over the next few weeks so that I could focus purely on studying in my free time, but with one final shift before my time off, I trudged out of the building along with my other classmates, knowing that I had to be at the café in less than an hour.

As a few of my classmates turned to head in the direction of the library, wanting to get a jump on studying, I kept straight, ducking my head as I got lost in crowd of students heading off campus.

Feeling my phone buzz in my pocket, I pulled it out and looked down, causing students to swerve around me as I stopped to read the text.

'Look to your right x'

Seeing that it was Ryan who'd sent the message, I lifted my head in curiosity. Through the sea of students, I didn't know exactly what I was supposed to be looking for, but as I spied a familiar car parked on the side of the curb about a hundred feet away, it all clicked.

Tucking my phone back into my pocket, I zigged and zagged my way through the mass of students, noticing that although the windows were tinted, multiple heads were turning towards Ryan's car with curiosity.

As I came within a few feet of the car, the passengers' window rolled down, revealing a smiling Ryan resting in the drivers seat. His sunglasses were on, only mildly guarding his appearance, as he leaned over the center console.

I smiled, shaking my head in amusement. "What are you doing here?" I asked curiously, though the reason didn't really matter to me. I was just happy to see him.

"Is it against the law to come and pick you up?" he asked cheekily.

"No," I rolled my eyes, leaning slightly against the car, looking through the window with a small smile on my face. "But you know I have to be at work in half an hour; I can't just not show up."

"Who said anything about skipping work?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as the outline of a smirk appeared on his face. "I'm just here so you don't have to drag that bag of books all the way to the café." Hearing the ding that unlocked the doors, Ryan nodded towards the passenger's seat. "Get in."

Trying not to pay attention to the inquisitive gazes of other students looking my way, I swiftly opened the door and slid into the empty seat. "You know this wasn't necessary right?" I asked, dropping my bag to my feet as I pulled my seatbelt on.

"Sure," he shrugged before flashing me a grin and starting the car, rolling the window up as he did, "But I wanted to see you."

"You saw me last night."

Even though I hadn't had classes the day before, I'd spent a good chunk of the day surrounded by my laptop and textbooks, studying for my upcoming exams. Ryan had come over in the afternoon to play with Abbie, as he had had the day off and wanted to come and help out. He also surprised me by cooking dinner and helping me study after my daughter was safely tucked up in bed.

"But that was last night, this is today," he pointed out, leaning over to peck my lips, pulling back before I even had a chance to reply. "How do you feel about ice cream?"

My forehead wrinkled slightly as he pulled the car away from the curb. "Isn't it a bit cold for ice cream?"

"Zoe, Zoe, Zoe," Ryan shook his head, a smile still very apparent on his face, "You have so much to learn."

That's how, less than half an hour later and after taking one of the longest routes I could've ever imagined, I walked through the door of the café with my bag thrown over one shoulder and a half eaten ice cream cone in my hand.

Colette raised her eyebrow at me as she handed a coffee over the counter to a customer. Her eyes were amused and her smile knowing. "Don't say it," I mumbled, ducking my head as I passed the short line of customers and headed for the back room, leaving her to deal with the orders until my shift started.

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"Here you go," I smiled at the customer, handing her drink over the counter, "Have a nice day."

Dusting my hands off on the front of my apron as the customer smiled and took a seat at an empty table, I was finally free to take a breather. The dinner rush had been unusually busy, and with eight 'o'clock quickly approaching, we'd had almost three hours of non-stop orders.

Turning to see if Colette wanted anything done before I cleaned up and clocked out, I saw that she was already looking at me. She was leaning back against the counter, arms crossed across her chest as she sent me a look of amusement.

"What?" I asked warily, picking up a clean rag from underneath the counter to start wiping things down.

Although she'd become one of my closest friends over the past couple of months, as her calculating gaze held mine, I couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable. "Oh nothing," she shrugged, although the smirk on her face was telling me the exact opposite. "I was just wondering if your boyfriend is going to be stopping by soon to pick you up?"

Heat spread across my cheeks. "He's having dinner with his parents tonight," I explained faintly, shaking my head, "And I'm fine walking home by myself."

"And he's not my boyfriend," I added, dismissing the idea timidly.

"Not your boyfriend?" Colette repeated, not believing me for a second as she rolled her eyes. "And what world are you living in that Ryan Adams, the guy that basically worships the ground you walk on, isn't your boyfriend?"

"I mean, umm," I started, stumbling over my words as I looked at the few customers that remained in the café. I didn't want any of them overhearing this conversation, and when I saw that they all were otherwise occupied, I nervously turned back to Colette. "We haven't really talked about that yet."

"Seriously?" she asked in disbelief, to which I nodded slowly. "Well how long have you guys been, you know, seeing each other?"

The two of us had now abandoned the cleaning as we stood behind the counter waiting for the customers to trickle out of the café. "He took me out to lunch almost three weeks ago," I replied, biting my lip nervously.

"And you haven't had that conversation yet?"

"No..." I trailed off, suddenly unsure of myself. Up until now, it hadn't crossed my mind to make things official with Ryan. Our relationship was progressing slowly, and it seemed to be working.

Colette clicked her tongue against her teeth. "Well," she started, "What do you want?"

And that one simple question was all it took to create a whirlwind of chaos within my mind.

I didn't have an answer for her then, as all of a sudden, I wasn't so sure what I wanted. After cleaning up quickly and clocking out, it seemed as though I was operating almost robotically as I walked home and tucked Abbie into bed. Even hours later, lying in my bed with my eyes wide-open, thoughts of our flourishing relationship were still circling around my head.

The thing was, I'd never been in a real relationship. In high school I focused more on studying than being popular and having friends, and after the disastrous night that gave me Abbie, I'd only been on a handful of dates. They were few and far between, and none of the guys had interested me in the slightest, especially after seeing the way they reacted when I brought up the subject of having a daughter so young.

Then there was Ryan.

He'd sparked my interest from the very first time I'd bumped into him at the café, and after realizing whom he was, my instincts seemed to be right. It was the small things that, although I didn't notice at the time, made my feelings grow. When he'd smile at me after a long shift at work, how he didn't seem to mind, yet fully accepted the fact that Abbie was the biggest part of my life, and how, despite his fame, wasn't above hanging around a plain-Jane girl like me.

Although I knew the chemistry we had was hurdling down the path of a relationship, I liked the way things were right now. Things were easy; they were simple and fun, and I didn't want anything to change, especially if, for some reason, things didn't end up going like I hoped.

It seemed as though I was awake for hours, tossing and turning just like the thoughts in my head, but I must've fallen asleep eventually, as hours later, with rays of sunlight seeping into my room, a rather rambunctious three year old woke me up, bouncing up and down on my bed.

"Momma, momma!" I heard, as I was slowly brought back into the world of the living, "Wake up momma."

Groaning slightly, I brought my arms out from under the covers, circling them quickly around Abbie's torso, pulling her towards me in a hug. She giggled as I opened my eyes and smiled at her. "Good morning," I said groggily, "How did you sleep?"

"Good, but it's time to wake up," she said, wiggling around in my arms as she pulled at the covers that still covered me, keeping me snuggled up in the comfort of my bed.

"I am awake sweetie," I said, yawning as I pulled myself into a sitting position. As I turned my head to see how early it was, my eyes nearly bugged out of my head when I saw that it was almost eleven 'o'clock.

How was it possible I'd slept this late?

Slightly more awake now, I looked down at Abbie, who had climbed beside me in bed, but saw that she was already dressed, and her hair had been pulled into two adorable braided pigtails.

"Why didn't you wake me up earlier?" I asked, hopping up off the bed as she followed. I couldn't remember the last time that I slept past eight, as juggling school, work and a toddler made it difficult to not be a morning person.

Abbie just shrugged, not seeing anything wrong with the situation. "Auntie Emily said you were tired, but now she said you have to get up."

Still confused, I guided Abbie along with me as I headed downstairs, on the lookout for my sister.

"Ahhh, you're finally up," Emily commented, turning her head over her shoulder as I entered the kitchen. From what I could tell, she was hard at work making bacon and eggs, and it smelt absolutely delicious. She looked down at Abbie as she came around me, climbing into her usual seat at the table. "I see you succeeded in waking the beast," she said teasingly.

Abbie giggled and nodded as I subconsciously brought my hand up to my hair, feeling a mess of knots and curls. Pulling my bed head into a quick ponytail, I walked across the room towards the fridge. Grabbing the carton of orange juice from the fridge, I took two glasses out of the cupboard. "Did you want any?" I asked, turning to Emily. When she nodded, I grabbed a third glass.

"So, why didn't you wake me up this morning?"

Emily looked at me as though the answer was obvious, but with the curious look on my face, she must've realized that I just wasn't catching on. She looked hesitantly at Abbie before turning back to me seeming somewhat concerned. "Zoe," she started quietly, "You seemed so out of it last night when you came home, and when I woke up to get a snack last night, I could hear you tossing and turning."

My eyes widened slightly as she spoke, as I hadn't realized my mood had been so evident. "I..." I said briefly, my voice staggering as I tried to figure out what to say.

She shook her head as a small, sympathetic smile graced her lips. "We'll talk later," she mouthed, before turning towards Abbie. "Now, who wants some food?"

When breakfast was over, or should I say lunch, I set up the television in the living room for Abbie, switching the channel to Disney Jr. before heading back into the kitchen to help Emily clean up.

"So, what happened last night?"

"It's nothing really," I said. Though I tried to make myself sound convincing, the flat look that Emily was giving me was telling me that she clearly wasn't buying any of it. "It's just something Colette said last night, that's all," I started, walking over to place a pile of dirty dishes into the sink before leaning back against the countertops.

"And...?"

Sighing, my shoulders sagged slightly as I crossed my arms nervously over my chest. "I guess it's nothing bad, she just mentioned something about Ryan and me."

"Which was...?" she egged me on.

"She wanted to know if 'my boyfriend' was picking me up last night, but when I said he wasn't actually my boyfriend, she started asking me why and what was going on," I tried to explain.

"Wait, he's not your boyfriend?" she asked, eyebrows furred as a mask of confusion spread across her face.

"Umm, no."

"Okay," she trailed slowly, "So what are you two then?"

"That's what been bothering me because I don't know!" I exclaimed, running my fingers through my hair. "Up until now I hadn't really thought about it. I feel happy when I'm around him and whenever I see him I feel like smiling, but it hadn't occurred to me to actually make it official. I've never been in a relationship, and I feel like if we go down that road, if we make this thing between us real, that something is going to go wrong or everything's just going to crumble." I explained, laying all my fears and insecurities on the table.

"You're scared," Emily said simply,

"I'm terrified," I agreed, letting loose a long, slow breath.

An encouraging smile graced my sister's lips as she walked over to me. "Even if I could give you all the answers, which I can't, I'd still say that the best thing for you to do is talk to Ryan," she advised. "You never know, maybe he's feeling the same mixed emotions as you are, and that's why the conversation's never come up."

"But what if he's not?" I asked timidly.

"If he really cares about you, which anyone can see that he does, he'll listen to what you have to say," she replied. "Oh, and I'd advise talking to him soon, or you'll end up driving yourself crazy," she added teasingly.

I cracked a smile as I shoved her gently in the side. "He's coming over tonight for dinner," I stated shyly, "I'll talk to him then."

"Good," she nodded, seeming satisfied with my choice, "Just don't chicken out."

"I won't," I replied determinedly, rolling my eyes, but as she turned her back to me to focus back on the dishes, I whispered it again under my breath, wondering how many times I'd have to repeat it before I truly started to believe it.

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Studying for my upcoming finals proved to be a sufficient distraction.

With my head stuck in my books, my mind had little to no time to drift to the jumble of thoughts at the back of my mind. Keeping my focus set firmly on the piles of notes and textbooks laid out around me, it seemed like no time at all had passed when the doorbell sounded, startling me out of my studying trance.

Dustin, who Emily had invited over earlier, was already here and helping my sister out in the kitchen. Although her intentions had been good, stating that if there were another guy around, maybe I'd feel more at ease during dinner, her logic was slightly flawed. It did in fact, make me less stressed knowing the conversation over dinner wouldn't strictly be between Ryan and myself, however, I didn't, for one second, think Dustin would do me the honour of answering the door.

I shifted some of my notes to the side, standing up from the spot I'd been seated in for the past few hours, as I headed to answer the door. It wasn't until I opened it that I noticed an overly excited Abbie had been following closely behind.

"Ryan!" she exclaimed as he came into view, hurdling herself at his legs with open arms.

He crouched down, chuckling at her excitement as he picked her up, adjusting her comfortably onto his hip. "Hey there kid, what have you been up to today?"

As Abbie concentrated on telling him about the artwork she'd made earlier this afternoon, I took a second to calm myself down. With Ryan standing there in a pair of plain black jeans and a loose fitted flannel over his top, he somehow managed to look just as attractive as he would have in a suit. I could feel my heart beating faster from a mix of affection and nerves as Colette and Emily's words made there way out of the corners of my mind.

'You're scared.'

'You haven't had that conversation yet?'

'What do you want?'

'Just talk to him.'

"Zoe."

I snapped out of my thoughts as Ryan said my name, only to see him standing much closer to me than before; a frown and a worried expression pasted across his face.

"Where's Abbie?" I asked, noticing that she'd disappeared without me noticing.

"She went to get those paintings to show me," he explained, lifting his hand up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear, though his expression didn't change. "Now are you okay? You were spacing out."

I took a deep breath. 'This is it,' I thought. I could tell him what's been on my mind and then it'd be over and done with.

Just as I opened my mouth, my worries about to jump from the tip of my tongue, Abbie came scurrying back into the entryway, waving two, still slightly damp, paintings in her hands. As she grabbed Ryan's attention, I exhaled slowly, realizing the moment was over and I'd lost my resolve.

While Abbie explained to Ryan what each of her paintings were, he looked back up at me, the same worried expression as before sitting on his face.

"I'm fine," I mouthed, forcing a smile.

"You sure?" he mouthed back, to which I nodded. He still looked unsure as Abbie finished her explanation and he turned to her with a smile. "Those are really good Abbie," he said, making her smile widen in gratitude, "But you know where they'd look even better?"

"Where?"

He brought his hands up to tickle her sides gently as he smiled. "On the fridge for everyone to see."

Abbie's eyes were shining with excitement as she turned to me, silently asking if that was okay. The side of my mouth tilted upwards as I nodded my head in the direction of the kitchen. "Go see if Aunty Emily can find some spare magnets," I said, causing an elated cheer to escape her lips as she quickly made her way towards the kitchen.

Standing up, Ryan looked at me with curiosity in his eyes. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I sighed, turning to head back into the living room where I'd left my mess of notes. "I'm fine," I replied, "I'm just a little stressed studying for finals."

The lie slipped through my lips easily enough, and as Ryan caught my hand, turning me around to face him, I could see in his eyes that he'd bought it, at least for the time being.

"Do you want any more help studying?" he asked, smiling down at me as his arms looped around my waist. "I've been known to write some killer revision notes."

I laughed at how serious his offer seemed, but shook my head. "Not right now," I replied, "What I think I really need is to just put my notes away for the night."

"Well, my offer still stands until you're finished with exams," he said softly, trailing one of his hands up my arm as his face inched towards mine.

My gaze flickered from his eyes to his mouth. "That's good to know," I replied in a hush voice before his lips connected with mine.

As we kissed, I couldn't help but think my worries were displaced and I truly had nothing to worry about. However, as the night lingered on, I felt myself sinking into a deep sense of paranoia. Any little thing Ryan would do, whether it was offer to help in the kitchen, kiss me quickly as we passed, or play with Abbie as dinner was being served, had me questioning if he was in this for the long haul or if this whole thing was just a short-term fling for him.

It was amazing how much an ounce of paranoia could mess with your brain.

Emily had attempted to encourage me throughout the night, telling me that I really was crazy if I didn't think Ryan's intentions were pure, but every time I'd pump myself up to talk to him and clear everything up, I found myself chickening out.

Needless to say I'd managed to avoid talking to him for the majority of the night, and I knew he was starting to catch on to my not-so-subtle avoidance tactics.

Dinner, for all intents and purposes was good. The food Emily and Dustin had made was delicious, and there were no awkward lulls in conversation with everybody sitting around the table happily. As I sat across from Ryan, I could feel his eyes constantly flickering to me as I talked with Emily about a new exhibit opening at her work, and as everyone's plates cleared off, I knew I didn't have it in me to keep ignoring the guy I was fast falling for.

"Hey Emily," Ryan started minutes later, walking into the kitchen where my sister and I were cleaning up, "Would you mind if I stole Zoe away for a bit?"

"Don't worry about it, I'll finish cleaning up," she smiled in response before turning to send me a pointed look.

Wiping my damp hands on the back of my pants, I followed Ryan as he turned and headed into the living room, only to see Abbie and Dustin still sitting at the kitchen table talking about how daycare was going.

"Hey Abbie, Ryan and I are going out for a quick walk," I started, but before I could say that we'd be back soon, she had already cut me off.

"Can I come?" she asked happily, and with a quick glance to Ryan, I knew neither he nor I could say no to her adorably excited face.

"Go grab your coat," I sighed, nodding towards the entryway as she squealed in excitement.

Once I'd thrown on a sweater and helped tie up the laces on Abbie's shoes, the three of us clambered quickly out the door. "So, where are we going?" Abbie asked, slipping one of her hands into mine and the other into Ryan's as we headed down the road, no destination in particular in mind.

"What about the park?" Ryan suggested after a few seconds of silence, raising his eyebrow at me as Abbie nodded her head in agreement.

I smiled softly. "The park's good."

The sun had already started to set and the streetlights illuminated the sidewalk as we walked the rest of the way with just the sounds of nature to keep us company. As soon as the park came into view, Abbie let loose an excited squeal, letting go of both of our hands as she made a bee-line for on of the slides.

Watching her happily playing put a smile on my face, but it didn't last long as I heard Ryan's low and concerned voice behind me.

"Zoe," he started, walking up beside me so we were both facing the playground as our hands brushed up against one another, "You've been acting weird since I walked in the door earlier."

I sighed, sagging my head as I closed my eyes. "Ryan," I said slowly, knowing there was no way out of this conversation now. Besides Abbie, we were more or less alone in this park, and it didn't seem as though Ryan was going anywhere soon.

Before I could get another word out, Ryan stepped out in front of me, bringing his hand up to cup my chin as he tilted my head up to meet my eyes. "Is there something you're not telling me? Is something wrong?"

His worry laced between his words made me feel awful, as thought my silence was chipping off pieces of his heart, but with his thumb rubbing softly on my neck and his eyes piercing deeply into mine, I couldn't find the words to answer him.

"Zoe?"

"What are we?" I blurted out, only to realize my mistake once it was too late. Ryan's eyes widened at my question and my heart was hammering in my chest. "Oh wow," I continued embarrassedly, a blush spreading quickly across my cheeks, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ask that."

Ducking my head, I attempted to maneuver my way around him, but his hold on me didn't loosen, in fact, his arms circled my waist to keep me in place. "Where is this coming from?" he asked softly, having more than likely pieced together my puzzled thoughts.

"It's just, yesterday Colette said something to me and," I started, not really knowing how to go on; not knowing how to put my feelings into words so that he'd understand.

His eyebrows scrunched in confusion, though he stayed silent, waiting for me to continue.

"She asked about us being a couple," I confessed, looking up at him nervously as I continued. "I told her that we haven't really talked about us being, well, an us, and she was just surprised. I don't really have all that much experience with relationships, and I guess I've just been worried that if we did talk about it, you wouldn't feel the same way about me as I feel about you."

I'd done it. I'd laid my feelings out on the table, and now, as I held my breath waiting for him to say respond, I could feel my heart beating rapidly with anticipation.

He brought both hands up to cup my neck softly. "I need you to listen to what I say next, and listen carefully because I'm only going to say this once," he spelled out. "When you didn't recognize me the first time we met, I was shocked, but I was also intrigued. Over the last few years I've met a lot of people who want to get close to me because my job puts me in the spotlight, but it didn't take long to realize that you weren't one of those people. You were real, and were interested in getting to know the real me, not the guy that everybody sees in the movies. When we first started hanging out, I didn't know if you were looking at me as a friend or something more, but after the basketball game, it all just kind of fell into place for me."

"You're one of the most thoughtful, kind, smart, caring, and beautiful people I've ever met, and this isn't just some fling for me. I want to be with you, and spend every day hoping that you'll never come to your senses and realize that you could do so much better than me. I want for you to be my girlfriend. I want for you to be able to come to me with any insecurities or problems you're having, knowing that I'll be there to listen, and I want to be the one you call when you've had a bad day knowing that I'll always try and find a way cheer you up."

And with that, all my doubts and worries that had built up over the last twenty-four hours flew out the window.

There were tears building up in my eyes as he finished talking and my heart was beating erratically as I tried to find the words to reply.

Instead, not knowing what to say, I grabbed at the front of his shirt, pushing myself up to plant my lips firmly on top of his. Through this kiss I tried to convey everything that I could; that I wanted the same things he did, and maybe even more. He understood me. He made me feel like I could be completely myself.

As I parted my lips and his tongue slipped through the opening, an involuntary moan escaped. This only seemed to encourage him as his hands slowly trailed down my sides, gripping my hips as he pulled me impossibly close, leaving a trail of heat and desire anywhere he touched.

When my head started to whirl with elation, I pulled back, breathless and smiling.

"Feeling better?" Ryan asked breathlessly, a touch of a smile on his lips as he pushed a few stray strands of hair back behind my ear.

I bit my lip lightly, attempting to conceal the grin that threatened to appear as I nodded, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him into a hug. My head rested softly on his chest as his arms wrapped themselves tightly around me. My eyes latched on to Abbie as I saw her sitting at the bottom of the slide, all playing forgone, as she smiled giddily watching Ryan and I.

Just as I was about to call out to her, a sudden flash startled Ryan and I apart. And as the sound of a camera shutter hit my ears, I realized that this night, that could have been spectacular, was headed straight for disaster.

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I know I'm mean for leaving you guys with a cliff-hanger after not posting for so long, but this has been the plan since the beginning, and trust me, there's so much more to come of Ryan and Zoe's story.

Also, due to the fact that I've more or less been out of the writing game for the last couple of months, please point out an typos/grammatical errors/plot inconsistencies to me, because lord knows that even though I've gone through this chapter a fair few times, there will still be some things I can fix.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and if you did, give it a vote and tell me what you think in the comments below xx


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