[Chapter Eight]
Chapter 8
"Zoe, Zoe, Zoe."
I rolled over groggily in bed as my name continually dragged me out of my dream, bringing me back into reality all too soon. Cracking my eyes open, I saw that only a hint of light was making its way through my blinds before I turned to see a fully awake Emily at the foot of my bed. "What time is it?" I groaned.
"Half past six," Emily chirped happily.
Rolling over to greet my pillows once more, I let out another groan. "Why are you up so early?" I asked, mumbling the question into the pillow. "Abbie doesn't even get up this early," I continued, lowering my voice with hopes that my daughter didn't suddenly wake up.
I rolled back over, opening my eyes slightly to see my sister shrug. "I fell asleep early last night, Abbie tired me out," she explained, but she didn't seem at all fussed about it as, even at this time in the morning, excitement and anticipation radiated off of her. "Plus," she continued happily, "I want to hear everything about yesterday."
"Couldn't you have waited a few hours?" I asked, pushing myself into a sitting position, "You know, until the sun was actually up."
She shook her head, the smile not leaving her face. "But then you'll be too busy with Abbie or homework to actually talk," she reasoned, making herself comfortable at the foot of my bed, "And I want details."
The persistence in her voice told me that, with her here, I didn't have a chance of falling back asleep. "What do you want to know?" I sighed, concealing a yawn as I wiped the sleep from my eyes.
"Well how was it?" she asked, not giving me the chance to reply as she continued with quesitons. "Was is weird meeting his family? How were they? How was the ride there? Did you have fun? What was it like having Ryan as a date?"
After the initial shock of curiosity, my lips turned up into a smile as I thought back to the day before. "It was good actually," I admitted shyly, playing with the blankets that were splayed out around my waist. The cheshire smile that spread across Emily's face at my response wordlessly begged me to continue. "It took a bit longer than I thought to actually get there, but we weren't late or anything. His family was really nice when I met them, and Ryan seemed to joke around with his brother a lot."
"Wait, that guy has a brother?" she asked, cutting me off.
I laughed. "Yeah Em, and he's seventeen." I stated teasingly, watching her face drop slightly before I continued. "Anyways, the wedding was gorgeous and his cousin seemed so in love with his wife, it was so sweet."
I went on to describe the little things, like how the ceremony had gone and what their first dance was. I told her how Ryan's family seemed really loving and caring, basically the total opposite of what ours was at the moment, and how good the food had been.
"Wow," she commented as I finished my explanation, and although she stayed quiet for a few seconds, a smirk eventually found its way onto her face. "So, did you catch the bouquet?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
"No," I blushed, ducking my head so I was no longer looking directly at her.
"Oh come on Zoe, you can't tell me that nothing happened yesterday," she persisted, climbing further up the bed as she took a seat beside me. "When he showed up at the door he looked like a million bucks, and he looked totally into you." The blush on my cheeks deepened, spreading down my neck. "You've got to give me something here."
"Like what?" I asked, not having done this whole boy-gossip thing in a long time. In fact, the last time I'd really talked about a guy with my sister was when I went to her, confused and terrified, after I found out I was pregnant with Abbie.
"I don't know," she shrugged, "How about you admit you found him extremely attractive when you saw him yesterday afternoon?"
"Well that's not that hard," I admitted, "I mean he looked beyond handsome, and he was easily the hottest guy that showed up yesterday."
"And..." Emily egged me on, willing me to keep talking.
"And I guess it was a little surreal to be honest. A bunch of the bride's friends that didn't know he'd be there came up to him all night and it was like he didn't even notice them," I stated incredulously. "Some of these girls could've easily passed for models Emily, that's how gorgeous they looked."
"But he stayed with you," Emily said softly, not needing me to finish my story. It was true, he'd rejected the offers he'd gotten to dance, and he hardly left my side the entire night.
"Yeah," I admitted quietly, still in awe of the situation.
"Zoe, you just have to realize that you're on a whole other level to those girls," Emily explained. "Girls flock to Ryan because of his success and his looks, but you got to know the guy behind the one pictured in countless magazines, and I think that counts for a whole lot more than just a pretty face."
Warmth spread through me at her reassurance as I leaned over and rested my head on her shoulder. "Thanks Em."
"No problem," she replied off-handedly as the two of us just sat there, leaning on each other as the sun continued its slow ascent into the sky. "So, was there a goodnight kiss?" she asked cheekily, filling the silence that had surrounded us over the past couple of minutes.
Picking up a spare pillow from the bed, I brought it up to hit her face jokingly, leaving her with a look of surprise as my cheeks coloured once again. "No," I affirmed, my voice slightly shaky as my train of thought leaped to the possibility of kissing Ryan.
"But you wanted to," Emily teased, noting my blush as she nudged my side.
Just as I was about to deny her claim, spurting some sort of bold-faced lie to my sister, tiny footsteps suddenly registered in my ears. As I turned my head, I saw Abbie standing in the doorway, one of her teddy bears clutched in her arms as she looked at me with tired eyes.
"Good morning momma," she greeted, the sleepiness quickly rushing out of her body as she noticed I was already awake, and after taking a quick glance to the clock on my bedside table, it appeared I had been for almost an hour now.
Had I really been talking to Emily for that long?
"Morning sweetie," I smiled as she came over, crawling up onto the bed while settling herself comfortably in between the two of us. "Did you sleep okay?"
She nodded, looking between the two of us with a look of curiosity on her face. "What you doing?" she asked.
"Your mommy and I were just talking," Emily replied, grinning at me before looking back down to Abbie. "She was telling me all about her day yesterday."
Narrowing my eyes at my sister, I didn't get a chance to say much before Abbie turned and smiled at me. "Did you have fun with Ryan?" she asked happily, letting her teddy bear fall onto her lap as she looked up at me expectantly.
Emily snorted, letting me know that her mind jumped straight to something a three year old did not need to know about. Choosing to ignore her, I combed through Abbie's hair gently. "Yeah sweetie, momma had fun."
And that was the advantage of talking to a three year old, because even though I'd barely said anything, Abbie seemed happy with my reply, not going any further as she started to tell me all about the day her and Emily had had the day before.
The three of us sat in bed just talking for a while, but when Abbie's stomach growled with hunger half an hour later, both Emily and I laughed. "Is somebody a little hungry?" I asked, tickling her stomach lightly as she let loose a giggle.
She nodded. "Yeah momma," she chirped, her giggles continuing until my hand left her stomach.
"Well then, how about we all get out of bed and get dressed," I suggested, "And then the three of us can go out and eat breakfast."
"I'm in," Emily agreed, not giving it a second thought before she picked up Abbie and sat her gently on her lap, "And what about you little girl, do you want to go out to eat breakfast?"
"We get pancakes?" Abbie asked innocently, tilting her head to the side as she looked to me for a response.
I nodded, smiling down at her. "Sure sweetie, you can get pancakes."
The smile that graced her face was huge as she squealed with delight.
"Now go get dressed," I said, picking her up from Emily's lap as I slid out from under the covers, placing her on her feet beside the bed, "Because the quicker you do, the quicker you'll get your food."
No more words were needed as she scurried her way out of the room, dragging her teddy bear behind her and I didn't blame her. Truth be told, I was almost as excited for breakfast as Abbie.
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Less than thirty minutes later the three of us were dressed, hungry, and heading out the front door.
"Do you know any good breakfast places?" I asked Emily, the three of us walking without a destination as we turned off our street towards the more commercialized part of the neighbourhood. The sun was shining brightly, forecasting gorgeous weather for this mid-October day, not one cloud visible in the sky above.
Emily shook her head in amusement. "Couldn't use your head before your stomach?" she asked teasingly, a sheepish expression emerging on my face in response. "Don't worry about it," she continued, steering us onto a side street. "About two blocks from here there's a few small stores. Dustin takes me to this 24-hour diner there sometimes, and the food's really good."
"Do they have p-a-n-c-a-k-e-s?" I asked, spelling out the word as to not over excite Abbie. Her small hand had been twisted with mine from the moment we stepped out the door, and as I smiled down at her, she stopped humming the Disney tune she had stuck in her head to grin up at me.
Emily laughed at my question, finding clear amusement in my spelling as she nodded. "They definitely have them."
Nodding, I let her lead us the rest of the way, which as it turned out, wasn't that far at all. It wasn't even ten minutes later the three of us turned onto an unfamiliar road, noisy pedestrians and bright store fronts engulfing us.
"It's a Sunday morning, why is this place so busy?" I asked, tightening my hold slightly on Abbie's hand as we headed down the sidewalk.
Emily laughed. "This isn't even busy Zoe," she stated as we past a small flower shop that was already full of life. "Try coming here during the week around supper time, it's packed."
"How did you find this place?" I asked, taking the chance to look around a bit. On top of the flower shop, we passed a fair few specialty shops, food vendors, and convenience stores before hitting a crosswalk.
"It wasn't that hard," she shrugged as we stood with the other early morning risers, waiting for the lights to change, "This place is actually pretty popular for the people who aren't rolling around the city with money. Plus, the gallery I work at is about two streets away, so I'm around here a lot."
The light switched, stopping the oncoming cars as we hurried to cross the road. "You really need to show me around more one day," I said, "I've barely seen anything other than the university or the café."
"It's a deal," she replied, smiling at me.
As we rounded yet another corner, with a promise from Emily that we were only a street away from the diner, a small commotion had started a few steps in front of us. Ten or so girls, ranging from teenagers to middle-aged women were crowding around a cart set out in front of a store. "What's going on?"
"No clue," Emily replied curiously, "It's just a convenience store."
As we got closer it was easier to see that the group was surrounding a magazine stand that had been set up outside the store. Most of them seem outraged as they all huddled together, taking up most of the sidewalk as they flipped through one of the copies on display.
"When did he get a girlfriend?"
"What does she have that I don't?"
"Why her?"
I still didn't understand what all the fuss was about as I went to steer Abbie and I around them. "Umm... Zoe," Emily said, and when I glanced back to see that she had snagged a copy of the magazine, I stopped, looking at her curiously. "I think I know what they're all obsessing about," she continued, lowering her voice as her concern seeped through.
More confused then ever, I didn't get a chance to ask her what she was talking about as she showed me the magazine. It was as if time stopped for a second, freezing me in the moment as a chill of worry ran down my spine. I stood there, wide-eyed and without a clue as my eyes trailed over the story that graced the front cover.
'Ryan Adams... Off The Market?'
There, on the front cover, was an enlarged picture of the two of us dancing at the wedding the night before.
"What the... fudge?" I exclaimed, wanting to swear but thinking better of it as I looked down at the confusion plastered across my daughters face. I was speechless. Although the picture wasn't the clearest, you could clearly make out Ryan's face as he smiled down at me, thinking he was free of paparazzi for the night.
"I mean, at least you can't tell it's you," Emily offered quietly, making sure the group of gossiping girls couldn't overhear our conversation.
And she was right. The way the picture had been taken was so that my back was towards the camera, but that still didn't mean they didn't know who I was.
"Can we just get out of here?" I muttered, ducking my head as I turned to head down the street.
Without a reply, it wasn't two seconds later that Emily fell into step beside me not uttering a word. Thoughts about the magazine, my life, and of course Ryan, were flowing through my head at lightening speed. With every step I took I felt my heartbeat increase little by little, my nerves causing my inner worries to grow and stem to unruly places.
"Are you okay momma?" Abbie asked, her hand squeezing mine as she looked up at me worriedly.
Taking in my surroundings, I grasped onto the world around me once more, realizing that through my moments of panic I had still managed to steer myself into the diner Emily had spoken about.
My heartbeat was slowing down again, the new environment kicking my nerves down a few pegs as I shakily tipped my mouth into a smile. "I'll be fine," I breathed out.
"Your mom just has to use the bathroom, so how about we go get a table while we wait for her," Emily stepped in, watching as Abbie nodded. She shot me a worried look as Abbie started to drag her towards a free booth. "Go cool down, we'll be fine," she reassured me quietly, sending me an encouraging smile before following her overly excited niece.
Turning to see a sign pointing me in the direction of the restrooms, I followed the arrows, pushing open the door with a cartoon skirt on it, slipping inside before locking the door behind me. I didn't notice the fact that the place was relatively clean for being open to the public as I gripped the sides of the sink tightly, taking deep breaths as I attempted to calm myself down.
It was minutes later when my grip loosened that I opened my eyes, which had clenched shut, and looked at myself in the mirror. Nothing jumped out as extraordinary to me. I had brown hair that hadn't even been brushed today before I threw it into a topknot, plain facial features and average clothes. I wasn't anything special, so I couldn't understand why I was fatedly deemed good enough to appear on a cover of a magazine with Ryan Adams.
When my train of thought came to a halt and I brought my pulse back down to normality, I noticed that my skin had paled, cringing at the mess that looked back at me.
Heading back to meet with Emily and Abbie, I quickly located the rustic red booth that the two had slid into, taking my own seat beside my daughter as I sat across from Emily. "So, have you guys ordered yet?" I asked, scanning the menu in front of me.
"Are you okay?" Emily mouthed at me, her eyes scanning me quickly as I nodded, silently signaling her to let it drop. Staring for a second, she must have seen that I'd truly calmed down as she responded. "Nope, we were waiting for you."
Nodding in understanding, I looked back down at the menu, deliberating over a few things before my eyes caught a specialty breakfast sandwich in the top right corner. When the waitress came to take our orders, the three of us spoke in turn, an excited grin on Abbie's face as she excitedly told her that she wanted lots of pancakes with maple syrup. The waitress grinned back at her, writing down our orders with the promise that they'd be ready shortly.
The drinks came a few minutes later as Abbie was showing me the colour that Emily had painted her nails, which was a bright purple.
"Oh, did you choose the colour?" I asked, eyes wide in curiosity as I looked at her nails, smiling as the waitress headed back to serve another table.
Abbie smiled widely. "Yeah, it's my favowite," she exclaimed.
"Is it now?" I asked with amusement, knowing that her favourite colour changed almost daily. Sometimes it was blue, sometimes it was pink, and today, it seemed to be purple.
"Yup," she replied with confidence, picking up a crayon that the waitress had brought over to draw on a scrap piece of paper.
"So, with the risk of you panicking again," Emily drawled, taking a sip of her water, "That picture sure looked cute," she continued, referencing the picture on the front of the magazine. A blush blossomed on the apples of my cheeks as I thought back to it. I wasn't a fan of public displays of affection, and even though it'd just been a picture of the two of us dancing, it didn't mean it wasn't embarrassing.
Her grin grew slowly as she continued to talk; leaving me wishing that I'd wore my hair down so that I'd be able to cover my face. "His sculpted arms wrapped around you as you danced, the smile he had when he looked down at you, I mean, that picture pretty much depicted a fairytale," she stated wistfully, an underlying teasing air to her voice.
"Like a princess?" Abbie asked wide-eyed.
Emily laughed, beaming at Abbie. "Yeah, your mommy was dancing like a princess, and Ryan was her prince," she teased, poking her niece on the nose as Abbie let loose a giggle.
"I wike Ryan," she stated as she went back to her colouring.
Emily grinned at the statement while my blush deepened, not needing my daughter to get involved in my non-existent love life. However, just as she opened her mouth to continue teasing me, my cell phone awoke, blasting a familiar jingle.
Pulling it out of my pocket, a puzzled look on my face as I wondered who would be calling me this early on a Sunday morning. My eyes widened as I read the name flashing across the screen, suddenly thinking I knew exactly what this call was about.
Biting my lip nervously, I pressed the green button all while ignoring Emily's questioning gaze, accepting the call as I brought the phone up to my ear. "Umm... hi."
"Zoe, thank god you picked up," Ryan said hurriedly, sounding slightly stressed as he continued. "I didn't wake you up did I?"
"No, no," I quickly denied, "I've been up for a few hours actually."
"Oh, okay," he said. "Well I, umm, I have something I need to talk to you about, so do you maybe want to come over? I mean, it's not life or death, but it's important if you're free."
"I know about the magazine Ryan," I murmured quietly, hoping my voice was loud enough to carry through the receiver. It was definitely loud enough for Emily to pick up on, her eyes widening as Ryan's name slipped through my lips.
"What?" Ryan asked, stupefied at my reply.
"Yeah, I'm out for breakfast with Emily and Abbie," I revealed, picking at the napkin laid out in front of me. "On our way over here we passed a group of girls obsessing over it, and well, I kind of saw the cover."
"Well then," he paused, "Are you busy later, like after you're done with breakfast? I just want to talk to you about all this, and I'd rather not do it over the phone."
"I don't know," I trailed, my nerves acting up once more.
"Emily and Abbie are welcome to come to," Ryan pushed gently, "Plus, Rocky misses the little one."
Seeing the waitress approaching our table with our meals, and Emily's keen grin across from me, I sighed. "Okay," I breathed out, "Okay."
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Even though the food was delicious, I couldn't fully enjoy it with Ryan's phone call running through my mind. He'd said he wanted to talk, but about what? Was he embarrassed to be seen with me? Did he blame me for the picture? I just didn't know, and that's what was truly killing me.
Shortly after hanging up, Ryan had texted me his address, adding that a cab would probably be our best bet at getting there if we'd not taken the car, which we hadn't. Before long the food had been eaten, the bill had been paid, and we were back out on the streets of LA waiting for a cab that we'd ordered.
Despite the fact that I had no idea how to get to the address Ryan had texted me, when the cab pulled up minutes later, it seemed as though the driver did. Rattling it off as he typed it into his navigator, we were off, the three of us squished into the backseat of the rather small yellow cab.
Glancing out the window, I slowly noticed the traffic start to die down, the craziness of town dying down as we headed out towards the edges of the city where the houses were bigger and air was cleaner.
As the cab driver gradually came to a stop, parking outside a house that was equal in size to my parents, I doubled checked the address, making sure we were in the right place before paying the driver as the three of us tumbled out of the cab.
"I'm surprised he doesn't have a gate," Emily commented as we headed up the driveway, glancing my way as I narrowed my eyes at her. "What? He's famous. I just assumed he'd have a gate so that paparazzi can't get on the property."
I rolled my eyes. "It's still trespassing even if he doesn't have a gate," I pointed out.
"Still."
Shaking my head, I decided not to disagree further as we reached the door, Abbie reaching her tiny hand up to hit the doorbell - a mere five times. Laughing at her eagerness, I gently pulled her arm away from the button as she went to press the bell again. "I think he'll hear it sweetie," I said, smothering my laughs.
Through the door I could clearly hear a repetitive chiming, still ringing in result of Abbie's button assault, but the sound of a small dog barking and footsteps coming closer was enough for Abbie to grin widely, turning to face the door just as it was pulled open.
Ryan stood there, dressed in sweatpants and a simple t-shirt, and although I'd mostly seen him in his work attire or more casual clothing, the thought that he looked better in his loungewear definitely sailed across my mind. He opened the door wider as he saw the three of us, ushering us in. "Hey guys," he greeted, smiling guiltily at us as we shed our shoes and he closed the door behind us. "Sorry about ruining whatever plans you guys had, I just needed to talk to you," he finished, addressing me specifically as he went on.
Before I can say anything, Emily waved her hand in dismissal. "Don't worry about it," she responded, "If whatever you have to talk about will calm Zoe's nerves, then I'm all for it. Plus, I've never been to a famous person's house before."
Ryan let loose an airy laugh. "Well feel free to look around," he returned amusedly, "It seems as though Abbie already has."
At the sound of her name, she looked up from where she'd been sitting comfortably, on the ground with a rather playful Rocky. "Hi Ryan," she chirped, petting Rocky's belly as the dog rolled over, "Rocky's fun."
"He's been missing you," Ryan said, earning a smile from her before she went back to playing with the dog. "Why don't you head into the other room? There's a whole bunch of dog toys that you can look through."
"Okay," she replied happily, standing up, moving quickly into the other room, Rocky following not far behind her.
"I'll go watch them," Emily offered, "Leave you two to whatever you have to talk about. Just come find me when you're done." Not leaving us the chance to respond, she followed the path that Abbie had.
"So..." I drawled nervously, "Hi."
"Hey," Ryan replied, the sides of his mouth turning up. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, shrugging his shoulders as he nodded to the side. "Do you want to go talk downstairs?"
"Sure," I mumbled, following him as he led the way.
Although his house seemed extravagant from the outside, and I expected the inside to look posh and well kept like my parents had been, it surprised me. There weren't any fancy bookshelves or unnecessary trinkets littering the shelves, just a few pictures of his family hanging on the walls and common household furniture placed in different rooms. "Nice house," I commented, willing myself not to laugh at the slight mess of the kitchen as we passed through it. It was kind of reassuring that he wasn't trying to portray himself as perfect, the dirty dishes piled up on his counters attesting to that.
"Thanks," he replied as we left the kitchen, opening a door that revealed a staircase. "It's a little too big for just me, but there's room for guests and stuff, so I can't complain."
With the flick of a light switch he lit up the room below us, taking the stairs one at a time as we headed down. The room was actually quite big, two couches taking up a majority of the room, lined up in front of a flat screen that was big enough to be considered a small movie screen. I also took notice of the dartboard hanging on the wall and the pool table standing on the other side of the room.
"You said you saw the magazine right?" Ryan started, getting right to it as he sat down on the couch, me right beside him.
I nodded shyly. "Umm, yeah," I replied, not sure what I supposed to say. "Why, you haven't?"
Ryan shook his head. "I don't usually read magazines," he said, "Most of the stories are embellished or completely made up; I just don't see the point."
"How'd you find out about it then?" I asked curiously.
"My mom called me and woke me up, right before I called you actually," he replied, raking a hand nervously through his hair. "She said that there were a bunch of reporters waiting outside the hotel I was supposed to be staying at, and that somebody had leaked a few photos of the two of us from yesterday. I called my manager right after that and he told me about the magazine."
I was about to ask if his family was fine when his cell phone rang. "Speaking of her," Ryan smiled, pressing the call button as he turned on speakerphone, "Hey mom."
"Oh Ryan are you okay?" she asked frantically. "Your manager just texted me about the magazine. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Do you know who leaked the photo? Have you talked to Zoe yet, how's she doing?"
Ryan signaled for me to talk, telling me it was okay. "Hi Sophie," I greeted timidly, biting my lip as I didn't know what else to say. It was sweet that she was worried about me, considering I'd only met her yesterday.
"Zoe darling," Sophie stated happily, "I'd ask how you're handling this but if you're with my son then you must be at least okay right?" she continued, causing a blush to grow on my cheeks, travelling down my neck at her words.
Ryan cleared his throat. "Mom," he said warningly.
"Oh hush," she dismissed, "But since you can't tell it's you in the photo and your name's not in the magazine, I'd say your fine Zoe. Just don't worry about anything that my son tries to say to scare you."
"Thanks," I laughed lightly, partially at her words and partially because Ryan was groaning in response next to me.
"But do you know who leaked the photo son?"
Ryan shook his head, stopping when he realized that his mom couldn't actually see him. "No clue, but my best guess is one of Mark's wife's friends," he replied. "There's nothing I can really do anyways, I just have to stay out of the spotlight for a few days until it dies down. Plus, I don't have anything lined up for the next week or so, so I should be fine once it blows over."
"I just wanted to make sure you were alright because we're about to head home," his mom said gently, "And I hope we'll see each other again Zoe."
"Yeah, me too."
"But I have to go, so stay safe you two," she advised before ending the call.
"Are you mad?" I asked, voicing my thoughts to break the silence.
"Mad?" he repeated, looking at me as though I'd lost my plot. "Why would I be mad?"
"I don't know," I mumbled, "You only got pictured because you were with me, and I didn't know if you were okay with it, or if you were embarrassed or anything."
"I'm not embarrassed to be photographed with you Zoe," he denied fiercely. "I wouldn't have invited you out in the first place if I was," he continued, "But I'm used to be photographed and having my pictures in the paper, it's a part of my job. I wanted to talk to you to make sure you were okay with everything."
"Well I freaked out a bit when I saw it this morning," I stated blankly. "How did they even rush it to print that fast?"
Ryan shrugged. "The press works in mysterious ways. Sometimes it's best if I just ignore it, you know, not ask any questions."
"And you're sure that it'll all blow over soon?" I asked timidly.
"Not 100% sure," he admitted honestly, moving closer to me as he noticed my insecurities coming through. His arm came down around my shoulder, pulling me to him in a comforting gesture. "But hopefully it will, and in the mean time, I promise you have nothing to worry about."
My shoulders relaxed slightly as I nodded. "Okay," I muttered as I leant further into him, accepting the comfort he was offering. His hand slowly started to rub my arm reassuringly as we sat there, no more words to say.
The only thing I could hope for was for him to be right; hopefully I had nothing to worry about.
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Sorry about the delayed update, but I did get to finishing up the chapter today. Also, check out the awesome banner above, and that's all thanks to arabellamonroe! What do you guys think... do you like it?
Question: Is there anything that throws your nerves into a jumble like Zoe's did in this chapter?
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