Author's POV

Baekie woke up with a start. Her face covered with sweat. She reached for the water canister near her bed and drank from it then check the time on the table clock. It's 3 in the morning, but she knew she won't be able to go back to sleep again after that nightmare. She took a towel and bathrobe from the walk in closet and went straight to the bathroom. Opening the shower and setting it to warm, she let the water fall down her body. She rarely look at herself in the mirror especially when taking a shower. Her face, contrary to what others says that she's beautiful, she still regards it as handsome. Her body, though it developed to become on a more feminine side, with a slight boobs protruding on her chest, she still think of it as manly sexy. Then looking down, she felt the heaviness of what the nightmare's message is all about. Yes. She really is a freak. Clutching her chest tightly, she cried silently as water from the shower continues to flow above her head.

It has been 2 years. She avoided any contact with the male species aside from her dad and brother as well as her friends. Because of her outer beauty, a lot of men tried to get near and woed her, but to no avail. She dared not fall into their charms because of her situation.

But just months into college and here she is. Tangled, unknowingly fallen in love to someone of her own gender. And with whom would undoubtedly shun her once he found out.

Flashback

After several tests, the doctor asked the Byun family to come to the hospital. Baekhyun's friends went with them as well.

“ I know that you've been in too much stress lately, what with getting ready for the surgery and emotional therapy as well as making sure you're fit physically for the operation. But there's something important I have to tell you Baekhyun that's why I asked you're family to be here with you as well as your friends for additional moral support.” the doctor said, his face looking grim.

“ What is it you want to say doc? What's wrong with my son?” Baekhyun's father asked the doctor as he holds his son by the shoulder behind the chair where Baek sits.

“ He can't be operated for the surgery intended yet.” he answered.

“ What????! Why????!” everyone asked in unison except for Baekhyun who silently clinched his hands tightly. He can feel it inside that there's something wrong inside his body because he's been suffering from severe abdominal pain for the fast few weeks, though he hasn't told his parents yet so as not to worry them.

“ After his last physical check up, we saw a tumor growing outside his left ovary. This causes him severe abdominal pain and it could be dangerous. So instead of operating on his sex change, we decided to just go through with taking out the tumor first.” the doctor said.

“ Will it affect his ability to have a baby if ever? And how long after can he undergo the other surgery?” Baekhyun's mother nervously asked.

“ We don't know yet how long will it take. We'll just take out all the tumors surrounding his ovaries. About his ability to have a baby, it won't be affected since we're not taking out his ovaries only the tumors. But the other surgery might take longer to happen because we need to observe whether there'll be recurrence of the tumors. Maybe 3 or 4 years.” again the doctor explained.

Bad news after bad news. Is there no end to it? Baekhyun asked internally. He's already graduating senior high and and has already passed entrance exams at the prestigious Seoul Academy. So, what now???

Baekhyun finally decided to speak up.

“ Mom, dad, hyung. I can't let this news dampen my plans of going to college. I've already enrolled online at Seoul Academy. Let's just go ahead with the surgery the doctors said I needed to undergo and let's just take it from there.” Baekhyun said with finality.

“ But honey, you're enrolled as a female student there. How do you think they will accept you if they found out about it?” his mom worriedly asked.

“ Then, we'll just go with the plan B. Instead of female, I'll be a transwoman. End of argument.” he said.

Though his family disagreed with his idea, his friends accepted his decision and supported him. Thus, they kept in touch with him even they're far away from each other.

End of flashback

So what do you call a supposedly woman like her who has boobs and ovaries but with a dick? A fucking freak!!! How does he hide the shit?! Well, he searched the Internet to know more about the ways of gay people on how to keep their freaking dicks hidden underneath their undies. And he / she still hates himself. As times go by, and her physical body changes more, she decided to accept it and embrace the change. Although it emotionally drain her.

And now this. How do you tell the person you starting to like about your situation?

Baek finally dared to look down at his reflection in the mirror. And he can't help himself but cry.

“ Baekie, are you there? Are you alright? Baek, open the door please.” Tao knocked purposely, calling out his name.

Turning off the shower, he took his towel from the rack and put on his bathrobe to cover his body, tightening the belt. He got out of the bathroom as Tao raises his hands, about to knock again. He sheepishly smiled at his best friend.

“ Want to go out for a run?” he asked him while putting on a sweats and running pants.

“ What's gotten into you?” worry etched on Tao's face.

“ Let's just say a certain elf eared man gotten into me. And I don't know how I'd face him tomorrow.”

“ Either he accepts you or not. Remember we're all here.”

Baek nods his head. Slipping out of his room, they went out together, padding their feet down the stairs and got out of the house. Damn! He didn't notice the time, he actually spent an hour inside the bath so that's why Tao knocked on his door. This'll be a long day for sure.

Author's note.

Annyeongheseoyo. Hope you all enjoyed EXplOration in Manila concert yesterday. As well as last Friday. It's awesome!!!

Please feel free to comment and and tell me what you think about this chapter.
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