I couldn't help smiling all the way home from Brynn's house. All in all I would have to say, as far as Brynn was concerned, it was a good day. She gets to stay and I get to go out with her on Friday night. Still have to clear use of the car with Dad but I think I should be able to manage that.

Now that I know what's going on, I do hope her Dad isn't going to cause any problems. The way Brynn talks, sounds like he prefers to take a backseat to the whole parenting thing. So, here's hoping he still feels the same.

I am slightly bummed that I won't have an entire day with her and my plan to take her out will need to be revised but hey I can do it. I still want to make it special somehow.

Yep, today was a pretty good day. Now all I need is Tyler to comply with not hanging out with our English teacher until after the school year and then life will be perfect.

I reach for my phone and dial his number. I'm sort of surprised when it goes to voice mail. Hmmm. I send him a text.

*Ty call me later.

I figure there's no reason to say anything to Mom about what happened just yet. Hopefully, I can play damage control and no one needs to be the wiser.

My phone rings. I see my picture of Ty making a stupid face come up on my phone.

"Hey." I say praying that this conversation goes over smoothly.

"What do you want?"

He sounds angry with me and I don't get it as I'm the one in trouble here not him.

"We need to talk."

"I tried that this afternoon, you walked away and then bailed on me. What did you do go home and tattle tail to your mommy?"

I am totally taken back by Tyler's attitude, "Seriously dude, are you trying to pick a fight with me? Because I haven't said a damn thing but you're making me regret it every time you open your mouth."

Silence... yeah, that's what I thought.

"I'm sorry I bailed on practice and you but I needed a moment to clear my head and think about things rationally."

"And?" Tyler asked.

"And I've decided I'm not going to say anything to my Mom, but I have to ask that you not see Sierra until after graduation. It's just too dangerous. Her career, my mom's job and your shot at college are over if this gets out. "

Silence.... Really?

"No."

Okay wasn't expecting this to be easy but wasn't really expecting a flat out refusal either.

"No?"

"No, not you or anyone else is going to dictate what I do or don't do with Sierra. I love her, Finn."

Woah! Okay.... This is not going well at all.

"It's just a couple of month. If you both feel so strongly for one another surely that time won't make a difference."

I hear him scoff on the other end of the phone. Actually it was more like a snort of derision.

"What's so funny?" I can't help but be annoyed. I really didn't feel like what I was asking for was all the difficult to comply with.

"If I told you, you couldn't date Brynn until after graduation, how would you feel?"

Damn! He makes a good argument. I didn't even want to wait another weekend to take her out and I was far from saying I was in love with her, but Tyler was always a bit more on the dramatic side, always jumping in and out of relationships. One day in love and the next day looking for love again with someone else.

"Okay, I'll admit what I'm asking isn't easy but I'm sure you don't want Sierra to lose her job right? What does she say about all of this?"

"Don't know. Haven't had a chance to talk to her after what happened. All I can say is you better pray you didn't screw this up for me Finn, because if you did I'll never forgive you."

Silence...

Only this time it was permanent as he hung up the phone ending our conversation. My good mood has all but expired. I enter my house and my mom is there. She is positively beaming at me. I'm guessing she's excited to say Brynn may be staying.

"Look's like Brynn will be sticking around," she says to me obviously quite proud of herself and she should be but at this moment I can't even crack a smile.

"What is it?" she asks.

I can tell by her look she's a little upset that I'm not more enthusiastic about her news. I feel bad but I may have just lost my best friend of all time and there is still the issue of if he is still with Sierra and if they don't call it quits then I'm still between a rock and hard place. Either way that I look at this, losing Tyler permanently seems a real possibility. One I didn't expect to have to handle.

"Rough day," I say lamely.

"Coach said you headed home early because you weren't feeling well..."

I really hate that she keeps such a track of my coming and going. I get that she's the principle but does she really need to be informed of my every move?

"Yeah," I say, "I may just skip dinner and head up to bed. Big day tomorrow. Wouldn't want to miss the game. Coach confirmed it. Scouts will be there so..."

I try and make a move past her but she takes hold of my arm stopping me in my tracks.

She stares at me for a long hard second or two. "Sure that's all it is?"

"What else could it be?" I say but I can't quite bring myself to meet her eyes not yet.

"I'll make you a plate when I've finished with dinner. You'll need your strength." she says and lets go of my arm.

"Thanks Mom," I say giving her a quick peck on the cheek, "And thanks for everything you had done for Brynn today. I really appreciate it."

She smiles at me but it's laced with a little sadness. I don't doubt she knows I'm hiding something from her and I've never done that before. It feels....well awful, but I need more time to figure things out.

She nods like she's decided something and says, "Sure, not a problem. Get some rest. I'll bring it up as soon as it's ready."

"You're the best." I say feeling horribly guilty and run up the stairs.

In the sanctuary of my room, I pull out my calculus homework and get down to some real problem solving and least as hard as it is I know there's an answer, unlike so much of my life right now.

I move on to science and then history and when I get to English my enthusiasm for doing more work has ebbed and I find I am now lying on my bed staring at the ceiling when my mom brings in a plate.

She puts it on my desk and comes over to my bed. Gently she puts a hand to my forehead. "Sure hope you aren't coming down with that virus that's been flying around the school."

I sit up. "I'll be fine. Just a little tired is all."

Mom nods and picks a couple of pieces of clothing off my floor. She always cleans when she's worried. Any other time my room is off limits and it is expected that I keep it spotless, which of course I never do.

She throws the clothing in my hamper and then looks at me again in that way I hate because she has this way of looking at me since I was a kid that just, I don't know, makes me think she has some ability to read minds or something. Like she's looking right through me and I have no secrets. Which most of the time I don't. Sometimes when I was little I had done something bad and I didn't want to tell her but I'm all grown up now.

I choose to ignore her and get up and grab my plate.

She stalls a little more and then asks, "Everything okay... You know between you and Brynn?"

I jump on this question as my out from her bugging me for more information. "Well actually... yes and no. She has to cancel her date with me on Saturday."

"Oh Finn," my mom says and I see the immediate relief on her face. I'm going to hell.

"Yeah, her Dad wants to spend time with her this weekend."

"Well, that's understandable but the timing really sucks," she says, she is still buzzing around my room trying to straighten things up.

I continue to eat my dinner between bites say, "You think Dad would let me have use of the car on Friday night. It wasn't what I was hoping for... but she has an 11:30 curfew so we may get a few hours in after the game."

Mom paused..."I don't see why not? I'll run it past your Dad. Maybe we can take both cars to the game and you can use his and I'll bring him home."

"A night without me in the house...whatever will the two of you do?" I tease trying to lighten the mood.

"You don't want to know," she says never missing a beat.

"Eww, Mom! You had to go there didn't you? Couldn't you have just said you'd pig out on ice cream and watch some chick flick movie you know I'd never have interest in?"

She laughs and says, "That's not a half bad idea. Maybe we can do both...it has been a long time since your Father and I had a Date Night."

I just groan and she just giggles.

"Unless you and Brynn would like to make it a double?"

"No, thank you!"

"Didn't think so," she says and takes my now empty plate away. "I'll run the car idea past your dad when he gets home."

"Thanks mom."

"Not a problem." And she leaves.

I know, now that she has a reason for my mood, she feels better. I wish I could say the same, as I just feel worse and worse. I don't know if I can keep this from her.

I open my English book and Brynn's letter falls out. Again I'm left wondering.

Why a turtle?

I open it up and read on...

Dear Finn,

Well you seem pretty determined to draw me out of my shell.

I don't know whether or not to be happy about this.

I like being around you.

You make me feel things, experience things I just thought were lost to me.

I was okay with that, or maybe I was kidding myself.

I know I tried to rush things before but now I think slow and steady may win the race.

Lets not go head long, rushing into anything.

I just fear that one day you'll regret me

and then I'd want to climb into my shell and never come out again.

For what its worth, thank you for showing me there can more to this life.

Liking you, to the extreme,

Brynn

I shake my head at her letter. Being around Brynn is like being on a rollercoaster. Just when you get that safe feeling as the rollercoaster levels off, you know and anticipate the fear of being hurled, an plummeting into spirals and spins at terrifying speeds, not knowing what the hell is coming next.

I think of Tyler and if he feels the same about Sierra. It's weird thinking of her as "Sierra" but at the same time easier then thinking of her as our English teacher. I push that from my mind and focus again on Brynn.

Taking a couple of moments to write to her. Wondering if she will be at her bus stop tomorrow. I can't help but laugh when I realize that ever since she came into my life she is always the last thought I have before drifting off to sleep.

"Good night, little ninja. Wherever you are."