Sophia and Aunt July would be delighted to hear the school offered dancing, and I could start doing ballet again. Me? Not so much. It is because when you are made to cry and beg for something that you previously loved so much, it loses its true value. Ballet was something I loved and still love. It was something I used to free my thoughts, being a neglected child at home makes you look for escapades, and gratefully my escape was not a person who could let me down.

My mother discovered me looking at ballet shows on the television and trying to skip and jump like them when I was four. When asked I had replied cheerfully enough even though I did not know what it was, but it made her motivated enough to admit me to one of the best ballet schools in the city. After she died, I still went there. Ballet made me lose myself into movement indulged in my dark thoughts, and it kept me from losing any interest in life. It kept me from self-harm, and cutting. I had decided I would live for it, and dance away my life until death came itself. Just that death came to the wrong person. I was devastated when Sandy decided to take away my ballet shoes and clothes, she said my father was spending way too much on my dance classes. I remember that day vividly to this day.

'Dad! No, please, no. You cannot just take away the only thing that I have left in life!' I was twelve, and already so grown up that I could talk like this.

'Wanda, you need to understand, we need money. With the baby coming, and all of that. Can you not sacrifice something for your mom, and your little baby sister?' he asked and I answered spitefully turning him to an ugly ball of rage. 'She is not my mom, and that little monster is not going to be my sister!' I yelled. Of course I was not in my senses at that time, whatever the level of hatred, I just loved babies, and little kids. Still do. I could not say anything wrong about children in my right mind.

'Young Lady, I want you to speak carefully. And now that you cannot hold your tongue, we shall have no more argument on this! You cannot do ballet and THAT IS FINAL!' he spat and I was left there crying my eye balls and sockets off, until River patted me to sleep and I woke up with eyes so swollen that they were squeezed shut to the point I could not see and had to use ointment. After that day, I have never been able to do ballet in my shoes and dress. I practiced ballet a lot of times, and River begged my dad for letting me do only this. I would practice barefooted, alone in my room and even River got teary eyed while seeing me do this. He knew how dedicated I was to it.

After he left though, I did not do ballet again. Whenever I tried after coming back to Aunt July's house, it would end in a fit of tears and bawling, bringing back all the memories of fighting and begging and crying to return that something I lived for. Aunt July encouraged me a few times, to try again, to get back up but then her heart ached too much seeing me red puffy eyed and she let it go. She obviously had that little hope in her. Hope that I did not want to see. Hope that hurt me. Hope that could now be reality. Hope that could again be my dream.

I did not know what to do, whether pretend that I was terrible at dancing, and took it because I was more terrible at the other things. Or actually give it a shot. I didn't even know if I could really dance now.

I could hear the cloud thunder outside, my heart skipping a beat every time they went ROARRR. And then it came, the heavy showers like the clouds were done with it. Too much crap to hold inside, and that sounded extremely wrong, like the clouds were shitting on us. They were just crying which now reasoned with why raining was associated with sadness, still not a big reason though. The downpour came all at once, and we knew it was to continue for a long time. The clattering of the rain on the roof made me chuckle.

'Miss Wanda?' the teacher waved his hands over his head, like someone looking for a lift. I realized I was staring wide eyed at the marble tiles, appreciating their beauty and how amazing the colour of gag went with green. Yeah, right, I just blanked out again. 'Yes sir?' I said suddenly realizing it was a female teacher and corrected, 'Ma'am.'

'Would you like to come here and solve this for me?' she asked rather madly. The whole class stared at me amusedly and from the corner of my eye I could see Ruby whispering something to a girl I recognized through another class as Snow. Cole gave me a thumbs up as he caught my eye and Ashton just stared at the board blankly, more like focused, as if he was solving it in his brain. I walked up to the board and solved it, I kept the marker to its place and waked back to my seat.

The class still stared at me, amusedly too, even Miss Simpson, nice name she had. Anyway, I did not want to seem like a nerd because I was not one. I could get an A plus once or twice in a month maybe, but not like those straight a students. I have failed my home schooling tests, and God knows how Uncle Harvey saved me from Aunt July spanking me like a small kid. I was frantic, I did not even know she could be that keen about something like studies. But it was not like I cared, so I just did what I knew I should. I studied this topic last year, and was particularly interested in this one, so I had to be good at it. Looking back at Ashton, I saw him impressed. He nodded his eye brows raised, and a small hidden smile crept up onto my face. Hello, Earth to, Wanda.

Then right when I sat back, the light went off. Like there was a switch right where my butt had to be placed, and it turned off when I sat. 'Let me go check,' Miss Simpson said and walked outside. It could have still been lit up in here, but the grey clouds prevented that. And then Miss Simpson came back, and gave us some news, it could not be the news of the day of course, 'So there has been some problems, the power broke down. Because of the rain, so because it is so dark, we all are supposed to move into the gym area, it has lanterns.'

So we went in there, and though there were so many people it should have been hot and sweaty, it was rather cold because of the thunder, and the wind blowing in, and no heat sources. So we sat huddled up in a circle and decided for a game. The teachers did of course, because teenagers don't come up with a game of, 'Let us get to know each other better.' It did not have a name, Mr. Hay just said it went like this, every time the bottle stops at someone they tell you three things about themselves. And because there were so many people, chances were I did not get even one turn. But once again, say it with me! Does the universe ever listen to my mental cries-out-loud? No it does not.

I sat in middle of Cole and Ashton, and in front of an awkward girl wearing thick rimmed round glasses, who kept her sleeves up to her palm. And then I got a call from Aunt July, it was past school time and because it was raining so heavy that no one could come get us, she did not know I was still stuck here. And the circle was so big, the people in front did not even know I got a call. So I picked up the call, and sat there while I talked. 'Hey, Aunt July, how are you?' I asked and she did not greet me back, 'We got a news.' Now my stomach dropped because her voice seemed nervous and quiet and she did not greet me back so I added, 'Yeah, what?'

'Wanda, hold your heart,' and I grinned, now I could hear it was a good thing, because her voice was growing excited, having a high pitch edge to it, and the feeling that she was ready to jump on Uncle Harvey's foot while she hopped like a mad march hare right away. I kept my hand on my heart just to be loyal and she continued, 'So we went to the hospital...' Wait, hospitals are no nice places. How could it.... Wait a minute.

'Wanda, I am going to have a baby,' she said in a whisper, and I jumped a bit in my place, the guys next to me stared at me bewildered.

'Don't tell me a kangaroo just ate her husband,' Cole said dramatically and I hit his hand.

'Aunt July!' I yelled on the phone, not caring one bit about what they were going to think. 'I am over the moon right now! I am so happy for you! Oh God, oh God, oh shoot, oh Holy Macaroni, Holy Lord of the pizzas!' I excitedly exclaimed while I let that sink in. She was pregnant. I was going to have a cousin, a little baby sibling. I realized everyone was looking at me now, so I excused myself, and Cole gave me a look saying can-we-come-too? And I gave him one of my most genuine smiles, you got good news, you share it with a friend. That is what you do.

'My aunt is pregnant, this is my rainy day miracle,' I said feeling stupid yet too overwhelmed to care about it.

'Wow, congratulations, Wanda,' Ashton said and I thanked him while Cole stared at my face. 'Why is it a miracle?' Cole asked and I looked down, sadly, 'They could not have kids, this has to be a miracle.' And Cole oohed, and Ashton just stood there staring at me, and I felt like I had just accomplished something, maybe I had just made friends. Something I could not do for so long, except of Sophia, and the mad guy at the hospital, Joey.

We went back to the game, and soon Ashton's turn came. We all sat there looking at him to come up with something about himself. 'Uhhh, I have an older sister named Ariana. She teaches ballet. And we have a dog, Samuel.' I found it like the heavens had separate plans for me when he said ballet, like a thought passes, like Holy Lord Of the Rings, that is such a co incidence. And then a few more rounds, with my fingers crossed that it did not stop on me, and do I have to repeat myself? The bottle stopped facing me and awkward introduction, here we come. What do I say? No ballet. Not my parents. Not Feline mansion. Not that I was mad. Not my brother. Not my hair. Not my tattoo, they are illegal to me right now. Whoa, my life looked like a secret to me.

'I am new here in Hanselane, my name is Wanda,' I said and thought for a second, how dumb is that? I should have thought about my answer instead of praying that I won't have to answer. 'By the way, names are not included,' Mr. Hay said and I nodded, 'I am from Manhattan, and lived with my aunt and uncle. And uhh,' I fumbled and Cole nudged me, 'Something other than your origin child.' I gave him a look that said he did not have to make me more nervous than I already was and he chuckled, 'And, oh, I like country music.'

And as I sat down, timidly, Ashton gave me a reassuring smile that I was not as terrible as I felt I was. And that calmed my tensed up state down pretty much. After a few more rounds, I got a call from George saying that he was outside the school, in the rain with an umbrella. So I bid my farewell to Cole and Ashton, and left. Thank God George had not brought the car right in front of the school, as per my instructions even though he could soak wet.

Reaching home, I called aunt July again and went to my room again, and we talked for two hours straight. From showing my holy macaroni reaction, to sharing the ultrasounds which were not even clear through video calling, from guessing who it would look like, to deciding the name if it was a boy or a girl, and then Aunt July cried and I shed some sentimental tears too. Because she said that it was a girl she would name her Jane, and if it was a boy, she would name him... River. And then I cried more after she hung up because it was so stupendous that I could have a brother again, maybe not with a fetish for painting, or smooth dark hair, or with his protectiveness and courage, and his perseverance. But I'd wish he would have all that. But most importantly it would be a brother.

But soon, the power of the mansion went off too and I had to walk blindly towards the stairs. But when I got out of my room, I saw the sides of the door both had really fancy candles that I had not noticed before. So I took one out, and lit it up with my lighter. I did not smoke, but I still kept a lighter with me. And as the candle lit up, I suddenly felt someone standing at the very end of the corridor. Someone blonde. 'Rachel?' I said trembling.

I was frightened to look what stood behind me, but I don't know why I did it. And as soon I did it, I turned back and walked towards the stairs speedily. There stood Jane again, her mouth in a straight line, and her face blank as I had ever seen someone to have. Her blue eyes looked ice, so different from the shiny sapphire blue I had seen in the picture. Her eyes were not like her mother, they were like her dad, and they were shiny. Not like mine, mine were icy, and dull. But right now she looked like she had my eyes, icy. Or was it death that turned people to ice that drained away all the colour from their faces, turning them pale and their eyes dull. Suddenly River came into my view, his eyes agonized, and his face pale, his brain blown off, the only colour on his face was his own blood pouring down to my lap.

I heard my blood curdling scream and fell down right when I got to the first story, at the foot of the staircase. I was too petrified to cry, too scared to feel anything but fear. And then my mother appeared before my eyes. Her bloodshot eyes, and dangling body. And her face ghostly, her hair a curly mess. I screamed as my seven year old cries filled my ears and I covered my ear, the candle sitting next to me. My breathing and heart rate grew uneven and I screamed harder when I thought what would happen to me when I would die, my eyes were already so dull, would they turn white all over? Would I even be imaginable? All the images flashing through my mind gave me a pounding head ache, and the last thing I saw before I fainted was the power coming back on, and Serena, Honey and Rachel running towards me from different directions. While Jane stood behind them, her face now looking like she was scared, like she was about to cry.