Chapter 32

I had made quite a spectacle, if I may say so myself.

In the middle of a busy campaign, I faked fainted. It was caught on camera. It was shown in the evening news. It was on the papers. It was trending on social media.

Everyone was asking.

Why?

What happened?

Was she okay?

Everything was planned, of course. Times like this, every little detail is crucial. Everything needed to be pre-approved, be controlled. I did as much as I could—although admittedly, I just could not throw money at everything like Abby does. I'll forever hate that a little... but at least, this forced me to be creative.

As Abuela told me—I am a problem solver.

I mean... I kind of had to. I was surrounded by adults with questionable judgment. Even Addie had to mature faster because she was surrounded with adults who seemingly needed constant guidance—or judgment, take your pick.

"Smile," I told Archibald while we were posing for pictures that will be posted on his social media account. This picture will be used in all the news outlets and all vloggers and bloggers we hired, so of course this had to look perfect.

Thankfully, he finally smiled.

The photographer made us do different poses, but I told him that I was going for more of a natural and candid approach. We're more casual and laidback people—at least that's the image I was projecting in public. They didn't have to know how high-strung I really am.

"I need the photos tonight," I told Cheryl. "Send me five to choose from," I continued.

The election day's really fast approaching. We needed to confirm the pregnancy as soon as possible to really milk this. Filipinos are big on family. I didn't care if this baby will be the center of the campaign. As far as I care, it's all about name retention. Kahit na baby ang pagusapan nila, as long as nababanggit ang pangalan ni Archibald Gallego, everything will be fine. Because most people don't really give a thought on who they're voting—they're just shading whose name looks familiar to them. Kaya nga maraming nanalo na artista. Because it's all about familiarity. Because why would they vote for some name they don't know anything about?

After the shoot, we were on our way to the clinic to make one of Rosie's dreams come through. We needed to do this today because we're leaving for Mindanao tomorrow and we'll be gone for four days to do some campaign. It's gonna be pretty hectic, but it's fine. My family's friends with the mayors of most cities there. They'll surely take care of me.

"Kailangan ba talaga na nandon ka?" Archibald asked. I thought he lost his tongue. He's been awfully quiet for quite a while.

"Yes," I replied.

He apparently lost his tongue again.

"The clinic is closed and what if someone sees you coming into the clinic alone? And what if someone also sees that girl?" tanong ko sa kanya. "We're too far, too deep in this election, Gallego. Just do your part."

Tumingin siya sa akin. "Do you think people will believe that we're in a happy marriage if you keep on calling me Gallego?"

I looked at him with a serious expression. "I will never call you Gallego in public. I always keep appearances," I told him. "I'd always done my part—it's you who keep on slipping."

He remained silent until we pulled over in the parking lot. I let the security check the area first. Naiwan kaming dalawa ni Archibald. The only thing that was saving us from the deafening silence was the sound of the engine.

"I don't want you there," he said.

"Too bad. Suck it up."

"Nadia—"

I looked at him. "Just do it," I said.

"I will," he replied. "I just don't want you there."

"Why?" I asked. I asked as I looked right into his eyes. "Why don't you want me there?" muling tanong ko. But my question was once again met with silence. "I promise I won't make a comment," I continued. It's not like I cared if the baby lives or dies. I mean, it would work in our favor either way—mas pa nga siguro kung mamatay iyong bata. It would show how resilient Archibald was—being able to go on campaign even though he's mourning for his loss.

And it wasn't as if I was looking forward to meeting that child. Just because I didn't want to kill it didn't mean I was jumping for joy for its existence.

When the perimeters were checked, we got out of the car. I knew how Archibald was basically dragging his feet. Pagpasok namin ay sinabihan kami na nasa loob na si Rosie. I was just quietly walking pero bago pa man mabuksan ni Archibald iyong pinto ay muli siyang humarap sa akin.

"Can't you just stay here?"

"No," I said. "Why are you so adamant on me staying out? Are you planning on jumping her bones when you get in?"

He just looked at me.

Then silence followed.

I stared back.

"I'm going in," I said.

I didn't know why.

I could've just stayed outside and waited for them to finish whatever it was that they'd do inside. Truthfully, I wasn't really invested in the health of the baby. I was certain that it wouldn't be a life changing moment once I hear the heartbeat of the baby.

But it could be for him.

I just wanted to see that look on his face once he hears the heartbeat of the baby.

I just... wanted to see his reaction.

He looked at me and then looked at me one more time with resignation. I felt him taking in a deep breath as he opened the door. He stepped in. I quietly followed. I said no word to anyone, but I was watching.

"Pretend that I'm not here," I told them dahil hindi sila makapagsalita dahil nakatingin sila sa akin.

I took the seat on the side and reached for a random magazine. I flipped through the pages, but even from where I was sitting, nakita ko kung paano lumipat iyong atensyon ni Rosie mula sa akin papunta kay Archibald.

"Archie..." narinig kong sabi niya.

She got no response from him.

How her poor heart must be breaking.

"Archie..." she repeated again.

"Pwede bang—" he said and then paused like he just realized how his tone was rising. He stopped and checked himself. Even from a distance, I knew that he was taking in a deep breath and calming himself down. I'd live with him for a long time. I knew him like I knew the back of my hands. "Doc, okay lang ba 'yung baby?" he asked the doctor instead.

Rosie lifted her shirt up, but her eyes were not leaving Archibald's face like she was afraid that he'd vanish in a second. I saw how she tried to reach for his hand, but he automatically flinched. Napatingin siya sa akin. I arched my brow at him. What? Ngayon pa siya mahihiya? Pagkatapos niyang mabuntis iyong kabit niya?

"That's the heartbeat of the baby," sabi nung doctor.

Rosie looked at Archibald. "Narinig mo 'yon, Archie? Iyong tibok ng puso ng baby natin?" she asked, but she got no response. Even from where I was sitting, I knew that this was not a completely happy occasion for him. His back was too straight that he looked so tensed. Maybe I should have just left him. Maybe I was robbing him of the opportunity to be able to have a decent reaction to him hearing for the first time the heartbeat of his child.

Maybe.

A lot of maybes.

"Doc, pwede na po bang malaman kung ano iyong gender?" she asked.

"Of course," the doctor obliged. "Oh, it's a baby boy," she continued.

Rosie was all smiles.

So different from her being all cries when she was with me.

"Narinig mo 'yon, Archie? May magtutuloy na sa apelido mo..."

I almost scoffed.

As if the last name Gallego meant anything if not for me.

"Okay naman lahat, doc?" Archibald asked the doctor instead.

"Yes, okay naman lahat. The baby looks healthy," the doctor explained among other things. I didn't really want to listen, but I still did para naman may masabi ako kapag may nagtanong. I was originally planning on just telling them that the baby's fine.

"Thank you, doc," Archibald said.

"Archie—"

"Ingatan mo 'yung baby," he said and if there's an expression that could perfectly convey what heartbreak looks like? It's going to be that look on her face.

"...saka iyong sarili mo," Archibald added like it was an afterthought.

The way she smiled when he told her to take care of herself? God, she's pathetic.

Tumalikod si Archibald at humarap sa akin. "Let's go home," he said as he began to leave.

Tumingin ako kay Rosie.

I didn't even need words—she knew what I felt about this sad, sad visit.

* * *

"Sana po healthy iyong baby."

I smiled. "Maraming salamat," I replied. I wasn't showing yet, but I wasn't wearing fitted clothes, too. Let the imagination of the public run wild.

"Sana po kamukha ni Ma'am."

Archibald laughed. "Sana nga po," he said.

"Iboboto ko po kayo."

"Maraming salamat po. Aasahan po namin 'yan," Archibald said as he gave them his best smile and shook their hands.

The ratings were very promising. There are twelve seats in the senate and we only needed one. I'd like it more if Archibald would get the top spot, but third's good already. He's a first time candidate for the senate. He just needed to perform very well kagaya nung ginawa niya sa pagiging mayor.

He just really needed to follow my lead—no more mistresses and surprise bastards.

"One more week," I heard him mumble as we got in the waiting room. The past few days we were just going around the country. It was one city after city. It was exhausting, but what's this exhausting in exchange of the next six years?

"Suck it up," I told him.

Napatingin siya sa akin. "God, why are you so mean to me?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Excuse me?"

"Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo. Bawal ba akong mapagod?"

My lips parted.

What was with him?

"I'm sorry. I just can't—" he said and then paused. He ran his fingers through his hair. "This is hard, Nadia. I have to put a smile in front of everyone and pretend that everything's fine but then every once in a while, you put me through this mind game of yours."

"Mind game?"

"Iyong sa mga bisita sa clinic. Why the hell do you have to be there?"

"Why? Do you want to be left alone—"

"I don't want to be left alone with her!" sabi niya na nagtaas ng boses. "But I also don't want you there! Hell, I don't even want to be there!"

"You did it yourself."

"I know! And I'm sorry! I'm sorry I fucked up! But for you to be there while the doctor's telling me about the baby? Do you know how that's fucking with my head?"

Hindi ako nagsalita.

I remained silent.

I knew my silence unnerves him.

But it only unnerves him because he's guilty.

"You are fucking with my head."

He looked so defeated.

"I'm just... I'm so tired," he said, almost whispered.

"What do you want?" I, then, asked.

"I don't know."

"Then I can't help you."

"I'm just so exhausted."

"Everyone's exhausted."

"Is it really worth it?" he asked.

"It is."

"The Senate?"

"The Presidency, Gallego," I reminded him. "Everything that we're doing leads to the Presidency."

Bahagya siyang natawa. "How about Maven?" he asked.

I just stared at him. "Let me worry about that."

"Because what if—"

"There's no what if," I said, cutting him off immediately. How dare he question me? I picked him when no one knew about his existence and now he's the third in the surveys for the senatorial race. A bit ungrateful, this one.

Tumayo ako. I was tired, too, but I knew he couldn't properly rest when I was around. He's always tensed when I was around.

"I'm not 'torturing' you because I find it fun," I told him. "You're gonna be the President. So, if you're tired, go take a nap. We still have some more campaigning to do."

There's no other end game for me but the presidency—no ifs, no buts, no maybes, no family. 

**

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