Chapter 28

Were it not for the fact that election's right around the corner and that I was very aware that all eyes were on us, I would have stayed elsewhere. I was fine with living with Archibald. I was already used to his presence around me—what I was not used and what annoyed me—was him watching my every move. It made me feel like I was under the microscope. I was already under the watchful eyes when we're out doing campaign—the last thing I wanted was to be watched as well in the privacy of my own home.

"San ka pupunta?" he asked when I suddenly stood up. I had been sitting on the couch for quite a while. He had been creeping up on me for quite a while, too.

"Out," I simply replied.

"Saan?"

"Dinner."

"You said you're tired," he replied.

"Yes, but I'm hungry, too," sagot ko sa kanya.

"I can cook."

"Good for you," I said.

I felt his eyes following me habang naglalakad ako papunta sa pinto. I was very much aware that for the past days, he'd been trying to 'fix' us. He'd been very nice to me that it started to made me feel weird. Archibald's been always nice to me to an extent... pero iyong bait niya ngayon sa akin ay may halong hiya sa ginawa niya. It's fascinating to know that he's actually ashamed of what he did.

Men... they're different but to their core? All just the same.

He's like every guy I know but in different font.

Equally disappointing, if I may say so.

I threw on a black slip on dress, black Oran sandals, and black YSL shoulder bag.

"Nadia," he called nang makalabas ako.

"What?" I asked.

Natigilan siya sa tono ng sagot ko. I really try to extend my patience with him. I was over it already—I think. I just had a lot of things going on right now and I really didn't want to dwell on the fact that he got someone pregnant. What I cared about was for him not to embarrass me in public. He's still my husband. I'm his wife but he got someone else pregnant? I knew that for some twisted reason, people will still think that I'm at fault for that.

"Kung gutom ka, magluluto ako... Para hindi ka na umalis... Kasi sabi mo pagod ka."

I looked at him, my forehead slightly creased from annoyance. "It's been a long day, Archibald—"

"Archie," he said. "You stopped calling me Archie."

"So?"

"It doesn't sound right."

"So?"

He sighed. "Nadia—"

"I just want to go somewhere and have a quiet dinner. I hope that that isn't too much to ask," sabi ko sa kanya.

We had this same exact conversation in so many different ways.

This was exhausting.

Then his phone began to ring.

"Won't you answer that?" I asked nang makita ko kung sino iyong tumatawag.

He put his phone in his pocket. "No."

"It might be an emergency," I said.

"Nadia..."

"What?" I asked. I gave him five seconds to say something, pero wala siyang sinabi. I gave him a small shrug. "If you have nothing to say, I'll go ahead and eat."

Dumiretso ako sa pagkain sa labas. I drove around in silence. I chose to eat in a restaurant where I knew I could get privacy, but of course, the universe, as of the late, was consipiring against me. Ni hindi rin ako nakapagrelax dahil kay Jack. He was good company, though. I told him I was not in the mood to politely ignore his advances and that if he wanted to eat dinner with me, we'd have to do it in silence, to which he agreed.

Then we headed to the nearby bar in the hotel for a night cap. We talked—well, mainly him because I was just there to enjoy my drink and at most, I was just tolerating his existence. Pagkatapos nun, hinatid niya ako sa sasakyan ko.

"You sure you're okay to drive?" he asked while he was standing outside my car.

"Of course," I replied. "I had one drink."

He chuckled. "Okay. Was just asking."

"Good night, Jack," I said.

"Wait," sabi niya bago ko pa man maitaas iyong bintana. I looked at him. "Call me."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "About what?"

"If you need someone," he said.

Of course he knew.

Sometimes, I hated how small our world is. I like it when it's beneficial for me, but not when everyone's on my business. This was exactly why I told him not to have any bastard. Because to have an affair? It's nothing new. To create a whole human? That's something else.

"Good night, Jack," I said once again before I drove off.

I knew I should drive back home, but for some reason, I decided to just go to Tagaytay. It was already midnight. Mabilis na lang akong makakarating doon. Besides, 11AM pa naman ang unang appointment ko bukas.

Right.

Why was I justifying this against myself?

Dumiretso ako sa Tagaytay. Pagdating ko roon, I took a quick shower and went straight to sleep. I didn't even bother to dry my hair. And when I woke up, I was so relaxed. This has been the most relaxed I'd been in a while. Siguro dahil alam ko na walang Archibald na sasalubong sa akin pagbukas ng mga mata ko.

I was in a relatively good mood—I even invited my security to have breakfast with me, to which they declined, but hey, at least I offered. And then I was headed back to Manila once again.

Dumiretso muna ako sa bahay para magpalit. I always look presentable in public, but there's this certain look that I always want to achieve during campaign period. I did not want to look too polished that there's gonna be a wall between me and the people, but I also did not want to look like I was one of them.

When I opened the door, he was on the couch. I knew he was there because I immediately sensed him. He was looking at me. Did he even sleep? There were circles around his eyes.

"Did you sleep?" I asked.

"Did you?" he asked back.

I nodded. "Best sleep in a while," I simply replied habang naglalakad ako papunta sa kwarto. I needed to take another shower and to prepare for this day. We'll be out the whole day.

"Saan ka natulog?" he asked.

"Tagaytay," I replied.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"With whom?"

Napatingin ako sa kanya. "I slept alone," I told him. Nakatingin pa rin siya sa akin. "Why are you suddenly curious?" I asked.

"Please be honest."

Bahagyang kumunot ang noo ko. "I am being honest," I said. "Just because you slept with someone else doesn't mean that I do it, too, Archibald."

I'd seen this happen. I'd see a man cheat on his wife and then he becomes paranoid that his wife is doing the same, too. It's bewildering how a man's mind works. Also, a proof that guilty conscience does the most.

I took a longer than intended shower dahil alam ko na paglabas ko ay makikita ko na naman siya. I was wearing my robe as I sat in front of my vanity. Nakita ko siya na nakatingin sa leeg ko. What was he looking for? Evidence of my affair?

"Go take a nap," I told him dahil kung anu-ano na ang pumapasok sa isip niya dahil siguro kulang siya sa tulog. I couldn't have him act like this in public. Kung kaming dalawa lang, okay lang dahil sanay naman na ako sa kanya.

And then his phone rang again.

"Have you talked to her?" I asked dahil mukhang wala siyang balak na umalis.

"No," he said.

"Not even on the phone?"

"No."

"Why?"

He was holding my gaze through the mirror in front of me. "I don't know..." he began. "I don't know what I'll say to her."

"About what?"

"What you want to happen."

I pursed my lips.

I knew what I wanted to happen, but even I knew that it wasn't some decision that I made lightly. It was something that I had decided long before I met him—and it was something that I had told him before.

"What do I tell her?" he asked.

I grabbed my brush and started applying my blush. "I don't know," I said. "I wasn't there when you made that child. Why am I suddenly involved now?"

Nakita ko iyong inis sa mukha niya. It's rich coming from him, but I also understood why he was feeling this way. I was not pleasant to talk to, I know. Kapag naguusap kami ngayon, kapag hindi tungkol sa eleksyon o hindi importante para sa akin, I was just pissing him off intentionally.

"Can we talk like adults?" he asked.

"I have nothing to say, Archibald," I replied and I saw how his jaw clenched when I called him by his legal name. "I told you—I'm just waiting for the results of the paternity."

"And what will happen next?" he asked.

Tumingin ako sa kanya sa salamin. "You know what will happen next."

I saw the pain cross his eyes.

Of course he wanted the baby.

He already lost the one he was supposed to have with me and now, I was doing the same with the other one. Oh, he must really hate me.

"Nadia..." he said my name like he was begging. "Wala bang ibang paraan?"

"Why do you talk like I'm the bad guy in this story?" I asked him. "I had been clear from the beginning, hadn't I?" I asked again and he wouldn't reply, but we both know the answer. "I gave you everything a man could ever ask for—I gave you the permission to have someone else. If you wanted a child so badly, I would've given you one, too."

"You had—" he said and then stopped.

We had this conversation before.

He stopped before he opened the box that we had already buried.

At least he's learning.

"I told you—surrogacy. I would've given you a child."

Huminga siya nang malalim. "Nadia, please..." he pleaded. "I'm sorry... I will do anything that you want... Just please..." he said. "Don't do this..."

Hindi ako nagsalita.

"I promise you Rosie—"

"Don't even say her name in my presence," I said, quickly cutting her off.

If he had gotten a random woman pregnant, I wouldn't even be like this. There's just... something about her that pushes the right buttons for me.

And I hated knowing that she has that power over me.

No one has that power over me except for her—and it's all because of this man.

"If she can promise that she won't do anything..." he began. "Will you at least try to reconsider?"

Tumingin ako sa kanya.

I stared at his face.

This man looked like he aged and it's only been a few weeks since he dropped this bomb on me.

"You've been married to me for a while. Surely by now, you already know me," I said. "Ask yourself—do you think I'll ever agree to what you're asking of me?" I asked him and the way his face fell down was answer enough.

Pagdating namin sa venue, nagsimula na iyong program. We were holding a program together with the other senatorial candidates. There were talent portion—Archibald even sang a song. I clapped and smiled and acted like a proud wife. It's just very interesting how he was like smiling and laughing when just a few hours ago, he looked like heavens and earth fell down on him.

Born politician—or made by me. Arguable.

And then it was time to mingle with the crowd.

I slapped the best smile on my face and held the people's hands. I was talking to them about their lives and their plights when suddenly, someone called my name.

"Hi, ma'am... pwede po ba kayong makausap?" Rosie asked, standing right in front of me, holding my hand like she didn't want to let go. "In private pero kung busy po kayo, pwede rin naman na dito na lang." 

**

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