I groan into my pillow.

I should never have said that to him in the pantry but fuck. Just seeing him standing there, looking at me and my body so eager, full of lust and ready for me. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to hear it from me. He wanted to hear it and I wanted to say it so badly.

Fuck. I've never been like this with anyone ever and I'm acting all out of sorts.

Asher has always been my little shadow but within this past week...he's morphed into this being that I don't recognize. Have I just ignored him this whole time?

I think a part of me has always known and forced myself to push it down. Yet another thing to hide from my parents.

I groan again thinking about his hard dick straining in his pants in the pantry. Of course I had to see it. It was hard to miss. He wanted it so badly and I just couldn't give him the satisfaction.

Something thrills inside of me thinking about that. Him wanting it so badly.

My mind flashes back to him on his knees for me. My dick pulsing in his mouth as he took it all down his throat. He happily swallowed me down and I bet he'd do it again. I bet he'd do anything I asked of him. I saw that look in his eyes. He wanted...no - needed more from me.

Ugh! Why can't I get it out of my head? This is going to haunt me forever.

That's it. I've got to tell Cameron. I have to tell him and he's going to have to deal with it. He's going to have to deal with me fucking his best friend. Repeatedly. Daily. Every single fucking second I can.

But wait.

Is that all this is? Am I just ridiculously horny?

Am I willing to have Cameron so unbelievably upset with me over something that won't even last? Possibly break up his friendship for one time thing?

Maybe telling him isn't the smart move.

I either have to stay the hell away from him or fuck him and get over it.

I bite my lip at the thought. I've never fucked a guy before. What would that be like? What would his ass feel like?

I tried to search it up the other day before Cameron came barging into my room but even then, I can recognize that there's a huge difference between watching it and actually doing the act.

Will I be into it? Will I like the feeling of his tight ass wrapped around my dick?

I look down at my boner and laugh to myself. I rub my face with my hand. Okay, so there's no question there whether or not I'd be into it.

I suddenly hear the door to the house shut downstairs, waking me up from my thoughts. I listen closely and hear Camerons laughter fill the house. Typical, he's always the loud one. I hear a second voice which is clearly Asher's which makes my stomach flip.

I hate that he has this effect on me. I should be doing other things. Writing lyrics or learning a new song–

Suddenly, I hear another voice cut in. Two other voices. Female voices.

My blood starts to boil underneath my skin as I clench my jaw.

Oh, hell no.

I don't bother with a shirt and instead just throw on a grey hoodie as I leave my room.

I don't know why exactly but I need to see what's going on down there. I feel a pull inside my body and I need to sedate it.

"Oh, come on. I totally had you at the end there." I hear Lex laugh in the kitchen.

"Don't even think about lying. Everyone saw how I outranked you. Wanna be a more sore loser, loser?" Cameron teases back.

I round the corner and step into the kitchen. My eyes zone in immediately on Asher and another girl who I recognize as one of Lex's best friends she's always bringing around. Ashley? Amelia? I don't know and I don't fucking care.

All I care about is how close she's standing next to Asher and it's pissing me off.

All their eyes lock in on me as I step up to one of the cabinets and grab a glass.

"Hey Hayd. How's it going?" Asher is the first to speak up which makes my lip twitch.

"Come out of your cave to speak with the humanoids?" Cameron laughs. My smile drops as I glance his way before I walk over to the tap to pour myself a glass of water.

Lex rolls her eyes and shoves him in the shoulder.

"Knock it off." She quietly corrects him. I bring my glass to my mouth and look back over to Asher who's watching me closely.

"We just got back from bowling. Thought it'd be fun to do a double date." His eyes narrow in on me. I can see that he's searching for something but he's not going to find it.

I gulp my drink and set my glass on the counter.

"Yeah, Asher got his ass handed to him by Aly. It was amazing. You should've seen it. I never would've thought he'd be so bad at something but here we are." Cameron laughs again. Aly, is her name. Noted. I can see Cameron already got into the Twizzlers as he takes a bite out of one and throws the tip at Ashers face. Asher successfully dodges it.

"Nice." I say, cutting through the laughter.

Asher looks over at me again and straightens his posture. "We're about to head downstairs to the theater room to watch a movie. Wanna come?" He shrugs.

I look to him and then back to Aly. I watch as he smiles as though he knows a secret before wrapping his arm around Aly's waist. She smiles up at him with eager eyes which makes me sick. I clench my fist. I've never felt like this before and it's bringing a whole new set of emotions which I hate.

Cameron and Asher use to bring a bunch of girls over all the time. I've had to listen many times to their "joint" date nights which never bothered me before.

But now, after feeling his lips against mine...

"Fine." I hear myself answering.

Cameron laughs beside me. "Seriously? You want to join us?" He leans on the counter giving me a quizzical look.

I shrug. "Yeah, why not?" I walk away before he asks any more questions that I don't know how to answer.

All I know is I know exactly who I'm sitting beside.