It's been a few days since I've heard anything from Cameron and I'm seriously beginning to get worried. Radio silence? Seriously? From the guy who never stops talking.

I don't think I've heard the Holts House this quiet since...ever.

I decided I can't hangout at my Nonna and Nonnos any longer, knowing things aren't right with Cameron back at home. Just leaving Hayden alone didn't feel right either.

So, I've been sleeping in Cameron's room since he's left. It's weird coming over knowing Cameron isn't going to be here but it's not like Hayden's been here much lately anyways. He's almost always staying late at the studio now. My guess is it's because he's avoiding me and...this whole situation.

As much as Hayden and I have been...closer, it's not like we're on normal terms right now.

After what he said to Cameron and how everything went down the other night - I'm pissed.

I'm pissed because I not only lost one, but I lost both. And I'm mostly pissed because it's all my fault. I can sit here and poke fingers but at the end of the day, this was all my fault and I know it.

I was the one who kept walking into Hayden's room. I was the one who pushed him to notice my advances. I was the one who didn't tell Cameron.

Now Cameron's upset with the both of us and...I can't stand it. I came between twins and that bond is tighter than anything. I feel sick.

"Here." Hayden drops his phone on the counter and pushes it towards me before rounding the counter.

I finish pouring a cup of coffee and look over at his phone.

🌛: Come on, sunshine, answer me. At least let me know you're alive

🌞: 🤬🖕

🌛: Very mature

I walk over to Hayden and hand him the coffee and his phone back. "What's that?" I ask.

"Well, we know he's alive which is good." He shrugs, slipping his phone into his back pocket.

I groan, running my hand through my hair. "This is such shit, Hayden. We don't know where he is or if he's okay. I feel stomach pains." I wince, folding myself over the kitchen counter. I seriously feel sick to my stomach and I have for days. I can't sleep properly or eat anything of substance. I can't knowing he's so upset with me.

I feel Haydens fingers softly rake through my hair but before I can fully submit to his gentle touch, he moves his hands away. I'm left with a cold, distant, ghost of a touch which makes me feel even worse.

I peer at him over my arms and I can see he's clenching his jaw, looking off to the front door.

He wants to run, I can see it. Mixed up with feelings of guilt and want. It's written all over his damn beautiful face.

Unfortunate for me, his beautiful face is also the same gorgeous face of the other man that I so clearly fucking love.

Ugh, the stomach pains are back.

I wince, burrowing my face in my arms again. "We need him back, Hayd." I groan.

"He's all yours." He huffs.

"You can't be fucking serious." I look at him, shocked. "You're still on that shit? I want you both, dummy. I'm fucked up. I can't choose. I don't want to choose - both." I'm practically begging at this point but I'm done pretending. I'm tired of pretending that there's another option for me.

"Why'd you push him away like that, Hayd?" I ask, my voice soft and shaky. I need to know what happened that night.

Haydens eyes look at mine shocked from my outburst. He drops his gaze to his hands as he thinks about his answer.

"Seeing him looking at me like that...all hurt and disappointed...I panicked. I–I thought he was better off without me. " He exhaled.

Damn.

I rounded the counter until I was standing right beside him. I turn his head with my hand until he's looking up at me. Those pale green eyes looking up at me with so much doubt and uncertainty. This is the first time I've ever seen Hayden lost...vulnerable and unsure of himself. It's unnerving. He leans into my hand and I feel my heart soften.

"No one is better off without you, Hayden. Absolutely no one." I say softly, brushing his hair off of his face. He stares into my eyes and I can see thoughts circling around up there in his mind.

I've got to make this right. For all of us.

But Hayden surprises me with what he says next.

"I think I have a plan." He breathes.

"Say it again."

"How about you fuck off." Hayden kicks at some gravel on the driveway.

I sigh. "Hayden, you've got to try."

"I'm not fucking saying that." He huffs out a laugh. I roll my eyes. We've been setting up this plan–his plan, might I add, and I'm extremely nervous.

My heart is beating out of my chest, my palms are sweaty, knees are weak. Damn, I sound like that Eminem song.

"It's the only way he's going to forgive you for what you did...for what we did." I look down at my feet.

Hayden sighs. "He's going to forgive me...he has to...I'm his brother.".

I look up at him. "And what about me?"

He gives me a quick smirk. One of those where I know he's about to say something mean yet oddly intriguing. "You're on your own, Shadow."

I roll my eyes, and turn away from him. "I hate you."

"Apparently that's a lie."

"Yeah, well. Let's just hope this little plan of yours works." I start pacing back and forth on the lawn.

I need to do something.

"I said we should've found out where he was and stood outside with a boombox over our head like in the movie from Say Anything. He would've loved that."

"I'm not doing that." Hayden lets a chuckle slip out of his lips. I turn and smile at him. I got him to laugh. Fuck, that feels good.

I turn back to the road. It's already 9pm. He should be here by now.

Earlier today we came up with the plan to text Mrs.Holt to tell her that Hayden had by accident left the stove on and was late to work. He needed Cameron to turn off the stove or else the entire house would burn down. Of course, because his mom believes Hayden would do something like that, she believed him and obliged. Cameron, being the good boy he is, responded that he'd be there to turn off the stove.

That was four hours ago. Anger rolls through me that he'd really let his house burn down before facing us. He's really that pissed.

"These candles are going to burn out." Hayden bends down to flick another mini candle on. We had stopped at a nearby dollar store to pick up some mason jars and small candles. By "some" I mean approximately 30. The cashier thought we were nuts but we knew what we were doing...didn't we?

I drop my shoulders. "Maybe this was a waste. He could see right through your moms text. He's sweet not dumb." I say, scratching the back of my neck.

Hayden stands up and looks at me, piercing me with his eyes.

"It was worth a shot." He breathes. Somehow, I know he's not just talking about Cameron. This only makes me sadder.

I look down at the grass, needing to disconnect our eyes or else I'm going to get way too emotional. "Yeah, it was worth a shot." I say under my breath.

When everything started with Hayden, I didn't think about how it'd end. I wasn't thinking at all. I was just doing. And now I have to live with the consequences of that.

I sit in the middle of our candle display and bring my legs up so that I can fold my arms over my knees. "I'm sorry, Hayden. I'm so fucking sorry."

Hayden stuffs his hands in his pants pocket and takes out something before coming to sit beside me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the rainbow pick I had given him. He puts it between his teeth and without another word between us, I know he's trying to tell me he forgives me and that he's sorry too. Maybe he can't speak like a normal human being, but I can appreciate his quirks.

I look back out to the road and my stomach drops.

Are those headlights?

I see the bright beames make their way down the road. It's Cameron's car, for sure. His car windows are tinted but I can tell by the way he's slowing down that he's taking in what we've done.

I quickly stand up to my feet and wipe off my bottom from the grass. Hayden follows my lead, slowly getting up to stand beside me.

My heart is in my throat as I wait for movement. Anything at all. I just need to see his face once.

I swallow hard.

Come on, Cameron. Come on, get out.

Suddenly, the car door pops open. I start walking towards the car and to my surprise, Cameron actually gets out.

I swear, it's only been a few days but he seems taller and even more handsome then when he left. I want to grab him and pull him in but I know that's not smart. He needs to come back to me on his own.

I stop a few meters away from him to give him some space to look over the scene. I can't help but fidget, fixing my backwards hat on my head. I probably look all out of sorts.

He looks great. Standing there in a white button up shirt that's half undone. His blond hair looks a little damp, as though he just came from a shower. My stomach sinks at the thought of whether or not he was in the shower alone.

I shake my head to try and erase the thoughts. "Hey." I break the silence.

His gaze falls on me again after taking in the view behind me.

I turn around to see all the candles in formation.

"It's outlining our future house. The one we–" I look at Hayden who is standing there awkwardly at the side. His hood is up and he's looking away from us. I clench my jaw. "Hayden, get the hell over here. This is your idea." I bite out.

"His idea?" Cameron asks.

I turn back to him and exhale. "Yeah, he told me you love making him watch Grey's Anatomy so apparently this is what Daniel did for Mary when he told her he was going to buy a house." I shrug.

Camerons eyes roll. "Derek and Meredith." He huffs.

I can't help but smile. "I know." I wink.

He narrows his eyes at me and closes his car door with a slam.

Okay, too early to flirt. Got it.

Stepping over to the candles, he looks them over. "So...you two set this all up?"

I nod my head, walking over with him.

"Romantic." He huffs.

I roll my eyes. "Oh, come on. I wouldn't call it romantic. Hayd was complaining and insulting me the whole time. Nothing out of the ordinary."

He sinks his hands in his pockets and turns to us both.

"Why?" He asks.

"W-well–Hayden, this is your turn." I say turning back to him. I can't believe he's choosing right now to shut up. I can't believe it. I roll my eyes and hold out my hand.

Hayden stuffs his hand in his back pocket and takes out a folded bundle of papers. He slams them in my hand and I walk back over to Cameron.

"Because, Hayden and I–" I continue.

Cameron laughs sarcastically. "Has a nice ring to it–"

I'm choosing to ignore that comment.

"We wanted to surprise you with this." I unfold the paper and place them in his hand.

His face drops as he flips through the papers. "They're listings for different houses and a couple apartments we could afford near our school, Cameron. We could all move in together! And they're close enough to Hayden's job for a short commute so it's perfect." I bite my lip in excitement.

He gets to the last page which is just a photo of a German Shepherd. "Oh, and that's Roscoe or whatever you decide to name him. We'll get him once we're all settled. It's a non-negotiable." I nod my head, pointing at the cute puppy. I knew that would truly sell him.

He squints down at the paper. "You two want me to live with you? Why would I want to do that? You want me to be a good boy and stay quiet while you two fuck down the hall from me?" He shoves the paper in my chest and brushes past me. "Fat chance."

No, this isn't how it's supposed to go.

"Cameron, you've got it all fucking wrong." I say following after him.

"Say something. Anything." I bite pushing Hayden in the shoulder on my way past him.

I shove my way through the door that Cameron rudely throws in my face.

"Oh shit, the candles." I turn back towards the door but Hayden's already there. He flicks a switch on the wall and looks out the side window.

"I got 'em. Go." He says, nodding up the stairs. I hear the sprinklers on the lawn turn on which puts my heart at ease. We definitely don't need a house fire to go alongside this dumpster fire of a situation.

I run up the staircase and follow Cameron into his room.

"Leave me alone, Asher." Cameron says, throwing a suitcase on to his bed. My heart goes into panic mode as I see him making his way to his closet.

"No fucking way. You're leaving? Where are you even staying?" I ask, running after him.

"Lex's house." He mutters, shoving past me. My stomach aches and suddenly I'm frozen. I'll die here in this closet, that's fine.

"Are you with her still? Cameron, what the fuck? After what we did?...Have you been sleeping with her?" I ask, my voice strained.

He looks at me, confused. "Oh, sorry. Did you feel like you had a right to know who I sleep with just because we made out and you're hooking up with my brother?"

I open my mouth, but unsurprisingly I can't find the words to answer. He's right. He's so fucking right. I have no right to say anything.

"Cameron, please." I say. My voice is wavering and I feel two feet tall. I've never chased after someone like this before but Cameron is not just someone.

Suddenly, the door to the room opens and shuts with a harsh bang.

"Enough." Hayden's deep voice vibrates through the room. I'm only looking at Cameron's back but I can see him hesitate to put the next piece of clothing in his suitcase.

"No. Go away, Hayden. I'm going." Cameron says, slowly slipping a shirt in his suitcase.

"That's not what's happening here. We're going to talk and you're going to sit down and listen."

"Oh, really? Give me a good reason why I should do that after what you did to me." Cameron turns, folding his arms across his chest. I can see the anger and defensiveness on his face and it hurts so much that we made him like this. This isn't Cameron and he doesn't deserve to feel like this.

"Yes. You are. Because..." He stops and glances quickly at me before turning his attention back to Cameron. "Till the end of the world, remember?" His voice sounds soft. Softer then I've ever heard him.

Cameron looks over his brothers face. I see him swallow hard before averting his gaze back to his suitcase.

"Fine." He finally answers. He sits on the edge of his bed and turns to us waiting for what's to come next. "You've got five minutes."

Woah. It worked. 

A/N: Okay, I'm posting two chapters today because we cannot leave it like THAT.  I can't leave you hanging like that LOL. 

PS. I love you. Thanks for being here. xoxoxoox