I feel a lot of pressure in my chest.

And no, it's not a heart attack - even though I've already thought about that already and triple checked online a million times (even though I'm still not 100% sure it's not cancer).

I'm pretty sure what's wrong with me is confusion...realization and...love. Lust? Both? For the wrong person.

I feel fucking horrible and I'm all in my head about it.

Ashers is currently in my bedroom on my bed as I finish up taking my shower and all I can think about is how much I want to go in there right now and melt onto his whole body.

I run my hand over my hair, soaking my face under the water. I need to get my head on straight but lately all of my thoughts are getting so damn loud.

I go over the facts one more time. I'm in a relationship with Lex. She's great. She's fantastic, actually but...she doesn't come close to making me feel the same way just standing next to Asher makes me feel.

Nobody gets me like him. Excluding Hayden, of course.

When I picture my future - I think of them. But...how do I know it's not just because I love Asher as a best friend. A really, really, close best friend?

I think about all the daydreams I constantly have of him and all the times I catch myself staring at him or watching him converse with others. How it makes my stomach flip every time he laughs or smiles or even just fucking blinks.

I bury my head in my hands. I'm all over the place.

I've never even kissed a guy before. How do I even know I'd be into it?

I picture my lips on his and my whole body lights up.

I slam my fist on the shower wall.

Of course I'd be into it. It's Asher.

This is all too fucking much and exactly why I don't like being alone. My mind just spins out of control and It's too fucking loud.

I finish up in the shower and wrap the towel around my waist.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I take in how overwhelmed I look. This isn't me. I'm the carefree, light and funny twin. I run my hand over my face. If only they fucking knew.

Stepping out of the ensuite bathroom and into my bedroom, I'm shocked to see Asher's not here.

As though he heard my thoughts, he steps into the room looking distracted by something on his own mind. His brows are furrowed and he seems out of sorts.

Holding a glass of water in his hand, he takes a quick glance down the hallway and steps into the room.

"Oh, hey." He smiles at me and walks towards my bed.

"Hey." I breathe out. I drop my shoulders. If I'm going to do it, it's going to be now.

Enough of this. And honestly, I'm sure he'd understand.

I walk over to my bedroom door and peer into the hall. No one is home other than Hayden and I can tell by the light under his door at the end of the hall that he's stowed away in his room for the night.

I close my bedroom door and walk back into my bedroom.

Asher gives me a curious look and smiles at me before taking a sip from his water glass.

"What's going on with you?" He laughs, setting the glass down on my bedside table. "You're acting weird."

I take a big deep breath in and pray this goes well.

"Okay, I'm going to ask you something and I need you to be fully honest with me. Like, completely. Can you do that? Can you be honest with me?" I ask, looking at his forest green eyes.

His face drops and I can see worry fill his mind.

Well, he should be worried. This is serious and if he doesn't help me, I think I'll just combust.

"W-what's this about, Cameron?" He swallows deeply.

I slowly make my way over to the bed. Avoiding eye contact because this is so awkward and nerveracking, I stare down at my hands.

"I need you to promise me that you'll be honest with me even when you think there's a chance that I'll think differently of you. I won't ever, by the way. But, I need to hear that you trust me enough to be honest." I scrunch my eyebrows and give him probably the most serious face I've ever given in my life.

"Fuck, Cam, I-" He takes a big breath in. "Yeah, of course." He exhales.

I smile at him. "Good." I nod. I shift my body on the bed so that I'm looking at him straight on. He turns as well, positioning his leg up on the bed so he can sit properly.

"Have you ever wanted to...explore? Your sexuality, I mean." I breathe out.

I look at the expression on his face. I've always admired how easily it is to read him. He looks shocked at first, maybe a little scared but quickly, it all fades to understanding. I'm appreciative that he's not running for the hills already.

"Yeah." He gives me a quick smile. "Yeah, I guess I have." He rubs that back of his neck with one of his hands as he looks down at his hands.

I feel my heart immediately start thumping hard. He has? He has. Hell yeah! That fills me with such happiness, I can hardly contain it.

"Okay." I nod. "Because I've thought about it too. Wondered what it would be like and how it would feel..."

This throws Asher back. I see the confusion on his face as he takes in what I'm saying.

"Lex?..." He asks.

I feel my heart drop. "Yeah, I know. I'm all messed up man." I bury my head into my hands.

"Hey, hey. It's okay." Asher immediately starts rubbing my back with his palms. "Everything's going to be okay, Cameron. I promise." He puts his hands underneath my arms to hoist me up. I instinctively wrap my arms around his shoulders and we hold on to each other in a tight hug.

I can feel his thumbs moving gently up and down on my back which is giving me all the right tingles in all the right places.

I turn my head towards him on his shoulder and shudder at the feeling of his skin being so close. We're usually this close anyways but right now, after admitting what we just admitted...it feels different.

I lick my lips and can feel Asher's body still beneath me as though he knows exactly what I'm thinking.

The air in the room is quiet and I swear I can hear both of our hearts beating so loudly.

My heart is beating so hard and pressed on him like this, I'm sure he can feel it.

Without giving myself a chance to think more about it, I softly press my lips to his soft skin along the column of his neck.

Immediately, I can feel a rush of blood flowing through me. Tingles spread from the tips of my fingers all the way to my toes and this is just from his neck.

I open my mouth to give him a soft kiss and I can feel him squeeze my body lightly underneath his hands. I move closer to him, practically sitting on his lap now and he lets me.

I must be dreaming.

I give him another soft kiss along his neck and I hear him let out a breathy gasp.

Game on.

He pulls me in closer and my fingers move up into his hair, softly pulling and getting lost in his gorgeous brown strands. My soft kisses on his neck have quickly grown to hungry open-mouthed kisses. I'm licking and sucking and I can't get enough.

But it's not enough. I need to taste his lips on mine and feel what I've been waiting so long for.

I move my kisses up his neck and he leans his head to allow me more room to do so. I make my way biting and kissing his cut jawline until I'm inches away from his soft, panting, mouth. Our lips are so close they're softly touching as we lightly tease each other.

I take a second to look up into his eyes and his eyes connect with mine, our breaths mingling and sparks flying.

Asher. My best friend. A dream come true–

Suddenly, my bedroom door whips open and we both freeze.

In walks my twin brother with an unimpressed expression on his face.

Hayden's here.

 A/N : 

Oh no... what do you think he's going to say?