Six

They say that whoever falls asleep the fastest at night don't have a lot of crazy things going on inside their minds. I've always had someone on my mind and they just never leave my mind once a part of my subconscious tells them to leave without any notice.

After talking and reconnecting with the person I've dreamed of ending up with, I've never felt more happy with what's going on around with me. For a while I've dreamed of having everything without having to feel guilt and remorse over the fact that I have the capacity to have everything without those negative emotions attached.

I've been staring up at the ceiling for more than an hour until somebody decides to knock on my door during the early hours of the day. I glanced at the door for a moment before heading over to open it for the person wanting to break in.

For a moment, it didn't take long enough for me to register that this person wanted nothing but affection. The moment this person started kissing was the exact same moment I was taken aback by their own presence in the room. Looks can be deceiving, and just by the looks of it, I can already tell that this person wanted to invade every single part of my own well-being and my own space in this room.

"Look at you," the person said as she took a step back to examine what I had gone through. "You've dehydrated and starved yourself so much at this point. There's no other reason for you to start feeling like you're absolute shit for no reason."

"I just want to be left alone. Suddenly you came around," I said. "What's more to be said that you would also like to know about?"

"Shit. I mean, what else do I want to know about you? You're just a person. You're not that special," she said in between laughs. "Because you're not that special, that gives me the opportunity to just swing by at your place and pretend like it's nothing."

Without hesitation, I pulled her close toward me to start kissing her once more. She responded with earnest emotions and without any feelings of resentment and hatred that might threaten to break us apart in half. It got more intense to the point where we ended up on the bed together, never minding the covers that were somehow blocking the way for whatever reason could be.

I've been in a multiple situations where I felt the weight of the world on both of my shoulders. I don't remember receiving any love as any person should have. It was a matter of time whether or not I have to put in so much work and effort to make someone love me. I figured it didn't have to be earned. If a person loves you, they will put their absolute all into the connection and bond that you both share together. They won't be making any excuses. They won't have to say that they couldn't because they're not allowing themselves to. Or if their personalities are on the verge of splitting without a second thought being yielded out of the blue.

We spent all the damn time just kissing and touching each other. It was nothing but sheer bliss and comfort and security in the midst of all the chaos and destruction going on inside our heads. Overall, it was fucking great. And I don't necessarily mean it in a literal sense. More like in a more abstract sense. Great could have more than one meanings. I just have to come to a compromise that it wouldn't in any way affect what I already had in mind.

It was nonsense love-making that made us feel like we were unstoppable from all the odds stacked up against us. No matter how many fucking times we fuck up, we still managed to get over our own word fears and worries and gradually become the best versions of ourselves without exerting much effort into it.