Seventeen

This is one of the days where I don't feel like existing at all. But maybe that's a majority of people feel nowadays. I couldn't blame them because I don't have enough strength and courage to blame myself and the people who think they can step all over me when they don't have the courage to do so. I can always step all over myself whenever I feel the need to have an out-of-body experience and possess someone else like a damned spirit looking for a new home.

I've been thinking of new ways of killing my old self. It's one of the reasons I've been overdosing on so many pills that I've gradually lost who I was supposed to be as a person. Fuck me for not realizing this soon enough. Now I've come to accept my fate and that is to willingly die in the arms of somebody who clearly doesn't give a fuck about me or what I do with my life. But, for the most part, that's something I've grown to accept knowing that thinking that I'm special and great would make feel a lot better about myself and why I should care so much about other people and not so much about myself.