A/N: This chapter is happening simultaneously as the last one.

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I snuck back into the apartment, careful not to get the attention of Jack nor Andrea. Whatever was in the fridge was calling me and I was shouting back at it to leave me alone. I won't binge...I won't binge...maybe just one teaspoon of cookie dough then I'll go back to bed.

And I did go back to bed...only I brought the cookie dough with me. No matter how puffy my eyes were, I couldn't sleep. My mind was running at a million miles a minute. So I turned the TV on and watched movies until the sky faded into a dark blue again.

'So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday.'

"Ya lying!" I shook my head while watching Noah stake his claim for true love. I thought about how guys say one thing and don't act accordingly. Even though I had watched most of The Notebook, I ejected the disc, putting in Bad Boys II where I recited the dialogue word for word.

The clock read 6:56 AM and with a groan, I shut the TV off and threw out the cookie dough wrapper I licked clean. I laid in bed and thought about what kind of sleep I expected to get considering I had class in three hours. The answer was all of the sleep. I wasn't going to class today and probably not tomorrow. It bored me. Even if I did get the rest a proper human being required, I'd still fall asleep in class. Everyone keeps saying that I have control of my own life and I'd like to believe that. I don't admit to having it downpacked, but I can at least start with avoiding the stress that comes with dragging myself to class. I shouldn't have to drag myself anywhere if I didn't want to. And quite frankly, I could do without more exhaustion and tears.

Today is possibly the day that Nate might do something he'll regret for the rest of his life. I doubt breaking up with me qualified as one of those regrets. I never wanted him to beg or chase after me, I wanted him to make the right decision. He's very smart despite how others look at him but after last night, I'd say his judgment is extremely clouded.

I slept for 30 minutes before my pestering thoughts woke me back up. A glass of warm milk usually does the trick but I needed something stronger...like whiskey or an allergy pill. I went into the kitchen and found a small bottle of Jack Daniels but then put it back down, knowing I'd polish off the entire thing. When I went to head to the bathroom's medicine cabinet, I was stopped by Jack who was still here. Andrea had already left for school but Jack had no classes today.

"Are you okay?" He asks me.

"I'm grand," I reply sarcastically.

"You and Nate broke up, you're not okay."

I shift my weight from one foot to the other, squinting up at him. I look over at the living room window and roll my eyes once I see the curtains had been pulled to the side. "Eavesdropping? Really Jack?"

"I had to make sure he wouldn't hurt you!"

"What, so you're my guardian angel now? Do me a favor and stay out of my personal life!"

I push past him and down the hall to the bathroom where I reach into the medicine cabinet for the Benadryl.

"Liv," I hear Jack call out as he approaches the bathroom. "I'm sorry, alright. I should have never kept messing with Andrea after we kissed."

I scoffed as he made this about him again. "You arrogant son of a bitch. I lusted after you and loved you from afar since I first met you...when I was invisible to you. I sat and watched night after night while you got down with every girl that was prettier than me or more in shape than me. Then I finally lose the weight and I'm over the moon that I even got to dance with you. My anger for you goes beyond you hooking up with my supposed best friend after we kissed."

"...I'm sorry. I had no idea."

"You never stopped to ask!"

"Why are you yelling at me?!" He started to shout as well. "I know you're mad at him but why is it me you're taking it out on?!"

"Because you don't have a fucking clue! You never did! No one ever has a fucking clue!"

It took so much energy that I didn't have to shout all of that and I took a seat on the edge of the bathtub.

"No," Jack said quietly. "Come on, get up. Don't be sad. I get it, you're stressed. Come on."

He pulls at my wrists and brings me up into a hug where I breakdown against his maroon-colored cotton t-shirt. He runs his hands over my hair and looks at me.

"Everything will be okay," he said.

He kisses my forehead and wipes my tears. Then he takes the liberty to press his lips against mine.

"That was a friend kiss. Don't worry," he chuckles. "Nate's an idiot. Whatever he did, he's an idiot. And I'll be honest, I wish I had the chance to make things right between us. Because out of all these girls, I know you're the only one that's for real."

I grin between my tears and close my eyes as he kisses my forehead again. He moves back and leans against the sink, folding his arms.

"No class for you today?" He asks.

"No," I answer. "Not feeling it anymore. Thinking of taking a semester off."

"Did he put you up to that? Because you're almost done."

"He didn't. But he's made some valid points in the past. How it's all bullshit. Not even guaranteed a job so I ask myself...what am I doing here?"

Jack nods and looks at the floor. He playfully kicks me in the ankle. "Get some sleep, babe."

He goes back into Andrea's room and after a deep breath, I take two Benadryl.

+

"Nate!!!" I shout out to him. 

Kalin has the gun aimed at Nate's chest at close proximity. Nate's pistol is lying on the dirt road. It's a blood moon in a blue sky and the clouds are moving abnormally quickly. The breeze isn't too frigid and the snow seems to appear and disappear.

Nate looks over at me and shakes his head.

"I'll stay with you no matter what."

"I need you," I cried.

I tried to run to him but then I realized I couldn't move. My feet were being held down by what looked like strong cobwebs. There was an enormous pain in my chest and throat. I was trying to save him, ready to risk my own safety to secure his. Out of the dark shadows emerges Foosh with that same evil flickering in his eyes like they were cut from garnet stones. He walked with such pride, wearing all black & his hair slicked up with gel. He had his gun pointed at Kalin. Kalin did nothing but stare at him, still with his gun aimed at a frightened Nate. Suddenly Foosh switches his aim to Nate as well, wasting no time shooting him in the neck.

Nate completely collapses onto the ground. His blood spills & travels in a single stream over to my feet, releasing me from the webs. I ran to him, holding his head in my lap and remembering how I held him the exact same way in the backseat of Jack's car.

"No, no, no, no, no," I tearfully said. "Why didn't you stay? You said you would stay."

I moved him more into my lap and rocked him as he slowly slipped away. His eyes never closed, they stayed on me as he took his last breath. Kalin and Foosh still stood there looking down at us as I wiped the blood that dripped from the side of his mouth. I met their eyes with an evil of my own and let out a shrill scream that turned the skies black and made crows escape from the leafless trees. I never ran out of breath but I continued to feel the emotional pressure in my throat. My tears were enough to wash away that stream of blood. Kalin and Foosh attempted to run but my powerful scream caused their necks to twist and break. And I continued to scream...and scream...as I looked down at a lifeless Nate, holding him close as the earth began to shake.

I woke up screaming which left me to wonder if I was also screaming in my sleep. I shot up in bed, trying to catch my breath. The house was quiet as no one came knocking on my door with a panic. It was almost 6:30 PM...I slept for almost 9 hours.

When I grabbed my phone from beneath my pillow, I saw I missed a call from Nate. Immediately I tried calling back but got no answer. It went straight to voicemail. He called me 3 hours ago. I didn't know exactly what time everything was going to go down and a panic set in. All the bad thoughts, all the bad scenarios had rushed to the front of my mind. I cried without knowing the slightest bit of news. Within moments, I was on my laptop, refreshing the local news websites and being tempted to call any jails to see if he was in there. And then after a while, I stopped. Because they always say 'seek and you shall find'...and I didn't want to find a damn thing. I wanted him to call me sooner rather than later and for him to tell me he was okay, unharmed, and hopefully not a murderer.

But pretty soon I was back to stressing out. I rushed out into the kitchen where I saw Andrea left a note on the fridge saying she wasn't coming home after class because she was going to a frat party with Suck-A-Dick Sydney. I quickly opened the fridge and saw some unfinished sheet cake I'm guessing Andrea brought home from somewhere. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that I could finish the rest of it, especially right now. I grabbed a fork out of the drawer and squatted down in front of the open fridge, ready to go to town on that cake. But there was a voice in my head telling me not to. I knew it wasn't a crime to have a slice of cake...but I wanted the entire thing...and that wasn't healthy.

I threw the fork and it clanked against the floor on the opposite side of the kitchen. I sat down on the tile with my head in my hands. At this point, I felt like I was all cried out but I wasn't.

"Why did you have to go," I cried to myself.

After a few more minutes of feeling sorry for myself, I got up and went back into my room, locking the door. I grabbed The Giver off the bookshelf and just kept reading until I fell back asleep.

+

knock knock knock knock

knock

knock knock

knock knock knock

I jumped out of my sleep and rushed to the front door.

"Alright, alright," I groaned.

I unlocked the door and there was Nate...

He was shivering to death. His clothes were damp and his lips were nearly blue. I was in shock - a mixture of happiness, sadness, and being overwhelmed. I couldn't move & my mouth remained open. Nate began to cry as he moved toward me, almost collapsing in my arms.

"I'm sorry," he said with a stuffy nose.

I didn't care that he was damp and sweaty. I was just glad he was here and alive.

"I'm so cold," his teeth chattered.

I still didn't know what to say. I shut the door and brought him to my room where I undressed him down to his briefs. Everything besides my bra & underwear came off and I used my body heat to warm him, holding him tight & running my hands up & down his cold back.

"I love you," I whispered against his dewey skin.

"I love you too, Liv." He was still shivering but it subsided a bit. "I promise you I'm not leavin' again. I don't wanna go back."

I shushed him so we could enjoy this moment. It felt so good after all that worrying and crying to know that everything turned out to be alright. Without saying another word, I led him to the bathroom where I turned on a warm shower for us. He was finally starting to warm up, allowing the steam to defrost wherever it still hurt. 

We stepped into the shower and I let him get the majority of the water stream, warming him up quicker. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back as the water rushed over his hair. He sighed with relief as his body returned to normal temperature. I grabbed the bar of soap and rubbed it over his torso, studying his inked skin like a map. He rubbed his eyes open, free of water and licked his lips as he watched me attempt clean him. He suddenly grabbed my wrist, causing the soap to slip out of my grasp and he kissed me. I ran my hands up his arms, his shoulders, his neck....until I cupped his face. He pressed against me and his touch alone let me know how much he had missed me.

"We never broke up," he spoke into the kiss.

I quickly nodded in agreement and he picked me up, causing me to wrap my legs around him. We moved until my back was against the shower tile and his lips were all over my collarbone. His body trembled when he paused to look at me. His eyes remained on my lips but soon met my eyes.

"Fuck it," I whispered.

He bit his lip before kissing me again and lowering me down onto him. He felt so good and I was so ready for him that a moan escaped his mouth as soon as he was inside me. It wasn't long before things got rough. His muscular arms using all they've got to keep holding me up. But as much as it felt amazing, I knew his body was hurting. He wasn't in the best shape when he showed up at my door.

"Wait, wait," I whispered.

We didn't finish our shower. Instead I grabbed two towels and had us hurry back into my room. I couldn't keep my hands off him. I made him lie down and I dropped my towel after a brief moment of hesitation. He extends his hand out to me and I take it. He gently brings me down and I straddle him. My lips find his again like magnets but we don't pick up where we left off. Instead he grabs my bare thigh and moves me next to him. He breaks the kiss to just look at me.

"I don't know what I was thinkin'," he spoke. "Even if Foosh didn't lie about Alex-"

"Wait, he lied about Alex? Alex is alive?!"

Nate smiles and nods. "Well, he's still in the coma but he's still breathin'. But yeah, I- I'm sorry I left you high & dry like that. My mind wasn't where it needed to be."

I caress around his temple and run my fingers along his hairline. He was nothing short of beautiful. I started to fall in love all over again with every intricate detail about him, inside & out.

"Where's your mind now?" I asked softly, poking my lips out a bit in a flirtacious way.

He takes a deep breath and bites his lip. "Home. I'm all in, lil mama."

Emotional, I move in closer to his face and our lips just barely brush against each other. A couple tears escape my eye as I realize this wasn't another dream.

"I love you," he breathed.

"I love you too," I whispered seconds before kissing him.

+

We had made love for the first time...plus three more rounds. I knew he was exhausted but he wanted to stay up and anyway and just talk. He said he wanted to keep caressing my body...a body he almost had to say goodbye to. He filled me in on all that happened but I was sick and tired of talking about Foosh...and Kalin and Myles, who are all still alive, by the way.

"How's school been so far?" He asked.

"I'm gonna drop my classes and take a break. I guess I'll just work in the meantime. It's just too much, you know?"

His eyebrows knitted together as if in deep thought. He found my hand and locked his fingers with mine.

"Let's go somewhere," he suggested. "Let's just fuckin' drive somewhere and not come for a while."

"That's called a road trip," I chuckled. "Where would we go? And what would we do for money? I only have like two paychecks saved up."

"So that puts us at over ten thousand." He looks at me and smiles.

"What?"

"I had money saved up too. But as I witnessed firsthand, life could be short. The day I saved that money for isn't promised to me. So I'm livin' in the present." He kisses me and I felt his warm tongue for a short moment. "Let's get out there and have some adventures of our own. Just you and me, baby."

I bury my head in the pillow and giggle. "This is crazy, you're serious?"

"Very serious lil mama."

I smile wide and kiss him. "Let's go then."

I was ready. Ready to live in the moment. Ready to step outside of another comfort zone. It was about time I started taking control of my life, my body, and my freewill. For too long I have sheltered myself and then Nate comes along and opens my eyes to a new perspective. But also, I introduced him to a new perspective as well. Despite our collective moments where we thought it was the end of it all, without an ounce of hope, we've both been given another chance to begin again.

{the end}

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Author's Note: WHEW!! (sorry for the VERY late night post but you guys will have read this eventually, yeah?

.......how ya feeling?

Again! I am overwhelmed by the amount of love and support from you guys! And your kind words & hilarious comments just make my day!! Thanks for reading! I'm happy to provide you with proper Nate feels, haha. Remember to vote on which should be the next fanfic (last chapter)

STAY TUNED FOR THE EPILOGUE!! Because YES, there will be a sequel somewhere down the line & the epilogue will give insight onto what it will be about.

So vote & comment annnnnnd stay tuned!

xx