The first day was very anxiety provoking. I was in a strange place with nice people and strange contraptions everywhere. It's hard to remember. I do remember one thing clearly, however. Meeting Iwaizumi Hajime.

Day 1

I open my eyes to a doctor I saw the day before. Her name, there's no way I could ever pronounce or spell it correctly so I won't even try. She's from Poland and has an accent. She's my favorite so far for how nice she's been and calming. Except for the fact she woke me up at 5 am to do my bloodwork, listen to my heart, and stomach.

"How are you doing?" She asks. I give her a look like how good could I actually be doing right now. "Yeah... I swear it does get better," we have light conversation as she does what she came to do. "Tomorrow I'll be coming an hour later. I have something to do today. I'm so sorry for waking you up so early. It's only two more days and then the techs will wake you up. Thank you for not screaming. If you started screaming I would have started screaming. It would have been a mess," she laughs and tilts to the side a bit. I smile and give a small laugh along.

"People actually scream?" I ask.

"Yeah," she shrugged her shoulders. "I guess it's because they aren't use to strange women coming into their room really early in the morning," we laugh and say our goodbyes. She leaves as I pull up my blankets. I brought my favorite alien blanket and it keeps me warm in this cold hospital. I got little sleep last night from the beeps and what not from the nurses station right across the way from me. They put me there so they can watch me. Make sure I don't do anything stupid, I guess.

I roll over from the door to face the window. It's still dark out; all the lights in the city are shining bright. Car headlights shine from down on the dark pavement. People just living their lives.

It's beautiful.

>•<

After the sun had risen, I'd finally given up on getting more sleep once my tech for the day comes in. She does my vitals and makes me do a blind weight. We make some small talk as I can't help but yawn after every other word almost.

"When are you starting tutoring?" My tech asks. Since I'm not going to go to school I need a tutor provided by the hospital. However I can't move much my first three days so I'm free for those.

"Not until I can wear regular clothes in a few days," she offers a smile and walks out with the scale that's on wheels.

"Someone will be back a lot earlier tomorrow," I nod in her direction and she offers a little wave. I put back on the gown that covers my backside and lay down once again. The clock on the wall says it's 7. About an hour and a half until breakfast. I'm already starting to dread it.

Daichi said he would be eating lunch with me but not breakfast. Who's going to eat breakfast with me? I hate consuming anything in front of strangers. It makes me so anxious. I feel as if their eyes are constantly judging me. Thinking I shouldn't be having anything. Thinking I'm having way too much. Thinking that I'm fat enough as it is.

>•<

"Ready for breakfast?" My nurse comes into my room and asks me. I jump slightly and turn to her and nodded my head. "Okay let me go get Iwaizumi," she starts to leave but quickly turns back, "and you need a wheelchair, right?"

"Yeah..." I say very faintly. My nurse gets the picture and moves straight ahead from my door down the hall to room 25 and knocks. She says something I can't quite hear and she turns the corner farther down the same hallway. In a second she turns back into the hallway directed at my room with a wheelchair. I sit and she wheels me down the hall past room 25. The stranger from yesterday walks out of that room. He looks at me with stern eyes and then the door to the mealroom. The nurse puts in the code for the room (1193) and the boy that I assume is Iwaizumi slips into the room. There's a tray with food and next to that is a cup of cream colored liquid. The day before I told Daichi vanilla is my favorite flavor since chocolate was the only other choice. Just thinking about it gives me anxiety. Chocolate is a fear food.

A fear food is a type/name of food that if I eat it. I feel like I'll go crazy. My mind cannot handle it at all. It causes anxiety attacks. It causes me to use symptoms ( just in general symtoms include and are not limited to restricting, abusing laxatives, purging, etc.)(symptoms is a less triggering way to say those things) I otherwise wouldn't use. If I consume it in any way my mind will attack me worse than when I eat anything else. That's why it's called a "fear" food. I'm scared of that happening. I'm scared of my own thoughts.

"Have you guys met?" The nurse asks looking between us. Iwaizumi glances at me and shakes his head no. "Oh! Well this is Iwaizumi," she looks at me and motions to the boy sitting next to me. I nod my head. Us meeting wasn't anything magical. I'm in a gown in front of a majorly cute boy. God, why? "And this is Oikawa," she motions to me. I feel really awkward as I sip on my Ensure. "Where are you from Oikawa?"

"About an hour away," my hometown is so unknown it's just easier saying that.

"Oh man!" She turns to Iwaizumi. "Don't you live like 2 hours away, Iwaizumi?"

"Yeah," he nodded after swallowing. He seems to be doing it so easily. How?

"You guys have quite the commute," we nod our heads. She basically makes us talk the entire time. Luckily, we both finished before the 30 minutes was up so we didn't need to go through anymore of that torture of awkwardness.

I sit alone at the little table coloring the Frozon page from the day before. Iwaizumi talks to the nurses and I hear him laugh. Actually laugh. Hmm... I catch myself staring at him and immediately turn back to my coloring.

After the 30 minutes I just sit at the table as Iwaizumi goes into his room. I want to ask to go to my room but I'm too anxious. The nurses have better things to do than do thus for me. I stay put and continue coloring listening to the nurse gossip.

Apparently, one of the nurses is so mean to the others. I guess everybody talks about her and how much she annoys them. Totally going to tell my parents tonight.

About an hour later, my nurse noticed me still at my table. She looks at me surprised and walks quickly over to me, "do you want to go to your room?"

"Yes please," I say very quickly, almost cutting her off. She rolls me over to my room and I get up. She leaves quickly and I finally take notice of my white board by the bathroom. I barely noticed it the day before.  The days of the week are written at the top with the date and Thursday is currently circled. Directly below it is my doctor, below that is my nurse for the day, and below that is my tech for the day. To the right of all that is a box that says "Your Goals for Today". There's a dry erase marker next to the board. I went for it.

>•<

Daichi at 11:30 comes and greets me. "Hi Oikawa!" He walks in my room and pulls up a chair. My anxiety immediately spikes, "how'd you sleep?"

"Okay, I guess. Not the best," I shrug my shoulders. He leans over to check the clock on the wall and in the process notices my drawing on the whiteboard. I drew a detailed drawing of a person curled into ball. This person looks practically like a skeleton. Written above it is "Not good enough".

"You drew this?" He points to the picture and stands up to take a better look.

"Yeah..." I mumble suddenly getting very self conscious.

"Hm..." he looks at it and turns back to me. "It's about ahh..." he looks at the clock again, "11:30. Say in a half hour we eat lunch," I nod in agreement not sure what else to do. What am I going to do? Say No? Get a tube down my throat? No thanks.

I read (to the best of my ability) until he comes to get me again and the same walk from breakfast to the mealroom happened again. I sat in a different seat and so did Iwaizumi. Daichi sat down and immediately started talking to Iwaizumi about something. I have no idea. It could be sports it could be hunting (I guess Iwaizumi is into that). I stop paying attention to drink some of my Ensure.

I'm jealous of how easy they can talk to each other. They seem to be really close.

"Do you like country?" Daichi points to me.

"No," I make a disgusted face.

"See! No one likes country!" Daichi says as if he's revolutionized everyone's way of thinking.

"Well I do!" Iwaizumi and Daichi both laugh. I just smile and look out the window.

Iwaizumi Hajime is terrifying. He's very intimidating. People (but mostly strangers) give me really bad anxiety. There was no love at first sight. There was no immediate conntection. Just a nurse making us talk. I mostly just remember staying away from him my first day though (and meeting a million other people). My first day went by quicker than I thought. Now that I'm done meeting people... it's going to probably go by a lot slower.

~{A/N}~ Hey while I was in the hospital I took pictures of my room and the hallways and the stupid small desk thingy I had to sit at -.- . Do you guys want to see them (since I'm basing this off of my hospital experience)? Or is it not all tht relevant? ~Sincerely Yours~