O L I V I A

"You haven't touched your dinner," my mother said. She lifted the cover off the plate of revolting hospital food.

"I'm not hungry," I replied quietly and still halfway sedated.

"Olivia..."

"I said I'm not hungry." I took a deep breath, trying to forget why I was so upset but it just wouldn't go away. "I need a new phone, I need to go back to Omaha and just piece my life back together."

"Sure," she scoffed. "I know why you want to go back to Omaha."

"Can you please let me borrow your phone?"

"You're not calling that boy. Besides, he was using a pay phone when I saw him so I doubt you'd be reaching him."

I held out my hand, waiting for her to hand me her phone. For a moment she just pursed her lips but then she finally gave in, forcefully placing her phone into the palm of my hand. Her heels clacked against the floor as she paced the room with her arms folded. I quickly dialed Nate's number. It didn't even ring once.

The number you've dialed has been disconnected.

"Asshole," I whispered.

I felt lost in a dark space with no sign of light. The atmosphere felt off. The Earth was off its axis. After all that had happened, he was just gone...and I was supposed to accept that? I had wondered if my mother had said something to him to make him abandon me. It didn't make sense, especially since he stood up to my dad last Christmas. And if you can stand up to my dad and still live, then you can handle my mother. This is why it didn't make sense. 

And also...I wondered if this meant we were no longer...a couple.

I tossed the phone down to the foot of my hospital bed and leaned my head back, trying not to cry.

"I told you," mother said as she snatched her phone back up. "He's no good. I thought he was but clearly he--"

"How much longer do I have to be here?" I asked, not looking her in the eye.

"You're barely healed, Olivia. Once you heal, then you have physical therapy--"

"Can't I be transferred to a hospital in Omaha?"

"If anything, I'd transfer you to Pennsylvania, not Nebraska," she replied.

"But--"

"You need to focus on healing! Worrying about Nate will only hinder the process."

"But this doesn't make any sense," I cried out. "This isn't like him. He wouldn't just leave me. What did you say to him?"

"I told you what happened," she shook her head. "You know, sometimes you think you know a person and after a little scare, they show their true selves. I mean...look at your father and I. We used to be head over heels in love. Then life happened. And that's what happened to you and Nate...life. So, instead of lying there in a puddle of tears, you have to pick up the pieces before life throws another jab at you. You'll be more prepared, more stable."

"I didn't ask to be-- look, I just...want to go back to Omaha," I said irritatingly.

"Is this thing working correctly?" She taps at the bag of morphine next to my bed. "I'll go find the nurse."

I swear in that moment, I was ready to crawl out of bed and escape out the window.

. . .

N A T E

I stood in front of the door, hesitant to knock, but I did. I haven't been here for a long minute and I wish I was here for the same reason I used to be. But this wasn't the case.

I was expecting Andrea to answer the door but it was Jack.

"What do you want," he asked.

"Is Andrea home?"

"Why," he scoffed. "Did Liv dump you so you're backtracking? Get outta here, and tell those thugs you consider friends that I'll be ready to fight if they wanna come back."

"Yo, I don't wanna fuckin' fight you right now. I just need to talk to Andrea."

"Jack," I heard her call out from the back. "Let him in, stop being a jerk."

He moved out the way and let me pass. Andrea was on the couch, watching TV.

"I'm actually surprised you're here," I said, trying to be friendly. "Liv told me you were gonna go back home."

"I did for a bit," she nodded. "But me and my mom didn't see eye to eye. So, what did you...need?"

"I needed to know if you heard from Liv," I spoke while looking down at the floor. "Did she try to call you or..."

"The last time I spoke with her, she was with you. Wanted me to look something up."

"Look what up?"

"That's...none of your business," she grinned.

"Fine," I sighed and reached for the Post-It pad on the end of the breakfast bar along with a marker. "If she calls you or when she comes back into town, I need you to call this number and ask for Jimmy."

"Jimmy," her face scrunched up. "What? Why? Who?"

"He's my boss from the plant nursery. I don't have a phone right now but he's been like an Uncle to me." I handed her the note after writing down the number.

"And why should I help you? Your friends break in and tie up Jack. Then I get a call from my friend Sammy saying one of them broke his arm on purpose. Why would I want my friend to be associated in any way with a guy like you that has friends like that?"

"Wait, why isn't Liv with you?" Jack chimed in. "Is she okay? I swear to God, Maloley."

"She's..." I trailed off. I knew if I told them the truth, they probably wouldn't give her the number. But I knew it was better they hear it from me instead of anywhere else.

I took a deep breath and decided to tell them anyway...the whole story. By the time I was done, there were looks of pure shock on their faces.

"So she's..." Andrea said. "In the hospital..."

"In California," I finished for her.

"Because she got shot," Jack said with disbelief.

"...Yeah," I gulped.

"And you...killed the guy who did it."

I nodded but not with any sense of pride. I looked at both of them, waiting for someone to say something.

"You need to leave," Andrea said, trying not to tear up.

"Andrea, I--"

"Olivia is one of my oldest best friends and you put her in harm's way," her voice raised and she stood up. "You need to get the hell out!"

"You know I would never hurt her!" I shouted back. "Her mom won't let me see her. If she wakes up and I'm not there..."

"I don't give a shit, Nate! You fucked up! She deserves so much more than you've given her."

"Nah...that's bullshit," I laughed. "I fuckin' love her. She means everything to me and I-"

"And everything you touch turns to shit!"

That was the line that hit me like a ton of bricks. It silenced me. That was the last thing my mother said to me before she kicked me out that one day; the last time I saw my family...even my dog, Kobe.

"You know what? Fuck this."

I stormed out of the apartment and Jack made sure to slam the door behind me.

I walked for 30 minutes until I reached my old job. Jimmy was watering some of the plants before he looked up and saw me. He gave me the biggest hug and welcomed me back.

"How was the trip," he asked.

"It was...definitely a trip," I nodded. "Listen, I might need a little help."

"Shoot."

Great choice of words, Jimmy.

"Uh," I cleared my throat. "I can't afford to live in my house anymore. Alex moved back home and Jake...he's gone. So I was wondering if I could bring my stuff here and crash in the office. I promise I'll wake up early everyday and clean up before we open shop."

"I...can't allow that, Nate," he shrugged. "But listen, my family owns a car garage a few blocks from here. There's an old office upstairs but they don't use it. Maybe you can crash there for a bit. Perhaps even rent-free for the first few months until you get back on your feet."

My face lit up. "Wait, you mean it?"

"Why not? You're like family."

. . .

O L I V I A

It's been a week and mother finally caved in. I was transferred to a hospital in Omaha. I haven't been healing as fast I should be and the doctors said they've caught the early signs of infection. So that means more wildcard medication.

But I'm still in a hospital bed. I'm still lonely. And Nate still hasn't called. It's just another day I want to choke him out, another day I'm irritated with life. There are bags under my eyes from lack of sleep and crying. Sometimes I'd ask for more medication just so I could sleep deeper. But then when I wake up, it's pain all over again because I would dream about him.

Out of boredom, I would lightly press on my wound as a harsh reminder that everything did indeed happen and I'm not stuck in a repetitive hell. Mother had her iPad with her and thought it would be great if she played Candy Crush all damn day. Meanwhile, I was bored with the same limited channels on the hospital's TV.

There was a knock on the door and in walked a male nurse I hadn't seen before.

"Hello," he spoke with a smile. "I'm Matt, I'm your new nurse."

"What happened to Emily?" I asked, my throat was still a bit hoarse.

"She's out for vacation," he answered while looking at my chart. 

My mother glanced over at me and I could already tell that Matt has gotten her seal of approval.

"So Matt," she began. "How long have you been in nursing?"

"I'm still in my first year," he grinned. "Still in school and soon moving on to study for my PhD."

"Oh?" She smiled. "What kind of doctor?"

"Pediatrician."

"That's just adorable. Isn't that adorable, Olivia?"

"Charming," I said sarcastically.

"So...do you mind me being your nurse or would you prefer a female? I have to...you know...your legs...for the blood flow."

"Do what you need to do," I responded nonchalantly.

"Well I'll leave you two to it, I'll be in the cafeteria," my mother said a little too happily.

She finally left and I took a deep breath.

"Sorry about her," I said.

"It's okay," Matt chuckled. "I have one of those at home."

He started massaging my legs to keep the blood flow going since I've yet to walk.

"Experiencing any complications we should know about?" He asked.

"Not really."

His hands moved higher up my leg and my body squirmed a bit once he got a little too high.

"S-sorry," he said, quickly walking around the bed to the other side to start on the other leg.

"It's okay." My face lowered and I tried not to imagine it was Nate's hands on me instead of Matt's. It was difficult but my imagination was running away with me. But then I got sad again. I'm back here in Omaha and I still have no way of contacting Nate. I needed him to know I was here. My gut instinct was telling me that it wasn't over at all.

"Why so glum, chum?" Matt asked. "When I feel down, I find that--"

"Hey, I'm sure you're a nice guy but...I really need you to just do your job," I said quietly.

His face fell and he went back to massaging. I felt like a bitch for killing his in-the-moment spirit but I needed silence. Everything seemed so loud without Nate.

. . .

The next day, my mother was gone the entire morning. I was in and out of sleep watching reruns of some old TV sitcom when she came back.

"Knock knock, look who I found," my mother said, peeking through the door.

Behind her was Andrea who was extremely happy to see that I was okay. She immediately came up and hugged me gently, making sure she wasn't hurting me.

"Oh my gosh, Liv, I had no idea," she said. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"Yeah, I'm a trooper," I replied. "Hey, listen...have you heard from Nate by any chance?"

"Nate? Not at all. No call, no visit," she shook her head. "Is he back?"

"That's what my mom said," I shrugged. "He pretty much abandoned me and came back to Omaha. It just doesn't make sense though. We didn't argue the last time we...saw each other."

"Sorry boo."

"Did you look up that information I asked you to look up?"

"Yeah."

"Good...hold onto it, okay? And...please...if you hear from Nate, let him know I'm here," I begged. "Room 513."

"Of course I will," she smiled.