O L I V I A

"You should be discharged in about two days," the Doctor smiled. "I'll prescribe all the medication you'll need and the wound dressing needs to be changed multiple times throughout the day and kept clean to avoid infection."

I was sitting down on the hospital recliner with my mother standing next to me. Matt had accompanied the Doctor but now the Doctor was leaving.

"Told you you'd be getting out of here," Matt spoke with a warm smile.

"Just when I was getting cozy," I replied sarcastically.

"So cute," my mother said. ...Uh oh. "I think you two should hang out, grab a bite to eat or something once she's able to."

"Mom..."

"What? He's adorable."

"...and taken," Matt added.

"Oh," I blinked. "Well that's...cool. See mom? He's taken. So stop this matchmaker thing you're doing. Besides--"

"Besides what," she quickly snapped.

"...You know what," I glared at her.

Matt was clearly uncomfortable and I wanted my mother to stop embarrassing not only me, but herself. Thankfully, the awkwardness was cut short by a knock on the door. It cracked open and in peeked Gilinsky. His hair was still all bouncy & fluffy, lips still luscious, and jaw still strong. And it wasn't much of a surprise that he was still rocking his hoodies and hats together.

"Knock knock," Jack smiled.

"I'm...gonna go," Matt said to me. "I'll see you later?"

"Sure thing," I answered.

"And who...is this?" My mother asked as Matt left the room.

"This is Jack. Jack, this is my mother..."

She held out her hand like she usually does when she wants to be a classy woman from the 1800's; expecting him to kiss the back of it. But he only shook it. Her mood has yet to change since Matt left the room, though. I could already tell what was on her mind. Time to act fast.

"Mom, do you mind leaving us alone for a bit?"

"Of course," she said a little too happily. Her & her heels quickly clacked across the floor and out the door. For the first time in a while, I took a breather.

Jack walked around the bed to the recliner and leaned down to hug me.

"I missed you," he said as he sat down on the edge of my hospital bed. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"Missed you too, I guess," I grinned.

"Ouch," he laughed. "I thought we were on good terms?"

"We are." I sighed and looked past him and around the room. Even with people visiting me, I still felt uneasy and off. That's kind of how it is when something is ripped away from you. Jack took notice immediately.

"Talk to me," he spoke softly. "What's wrong?"

I shrugged and shook my head, struggling to find a starting point of where to begin. Because it was everything...everything was wrong. It took every ounce of energy in my body & soul not to breakdown right then and there.

"He's gone," my voice cracked & my eyes stayed focus on the linoleum floor. "It's been just about two weeks. No phone call, no visit, nothing. I woke up and he wasn't there. He said he'd always be there. Now I'm alone."

"You're not alone, Liv."

"You mean to tell me it's impossible for you, Mr. Popular All His Life, to consider so many a friend or just an associate and never ever feel alone? If anything...that's the loneliest life."

"...It's not impossible," he responded. "But I wanna know why that happens, why we still feel so incomplete without that one person when we have many others."

"We don't have many others," I quickly replied. "That one person is your one person. And they can do for you more than what 50 can do. That's why, Jack."

He reached down and placed his hand over mine. 

"Everything will be okay, Liv."

"Will it?" I looked up at him with glassy eyes. "It's bad enough I got shot. Now I have my mother playing matchmaker and telling me to get over Nate as if he never existed. I haven't had a cell phone in forever, his phone is disconnected probably because Evan is still out there somewhere and he doesn't want to be tracked. Then I guess he saw that as the perfect chance to walk out on me so we can both start clean. He has this twisted idea that he's no good for me."

My breath hitched and my bottom lip quivered. Hold it, Liv. Don't breakdown...again.

"But," I continued. "I never planned on starting clean. We...we were engaged...for a bit, at least."

"Engaged?" Jack repeated a little too loud.

"Yeah, crazy I know," I laughed to myself.

"Dude...so soon?"

"You know when you know," I shrugged. "I was iffy at first. But I wanted to take a chance. If I ended up wrong then so be it. To this day, I don't think I regret anything. The arguments, the motels, being on the road as a premature Bonnie & Clyde...I don't."

I gulped several times, swallowing my pride and allowing several tears to race down my cheeks onto my hospital gown.

"I really miss him, Jack," I cried.

Jack had a look of sadness mixed with guilt but I didn't read into it. He probably felt bad for all the times he disagreed with me dating Nate.

"Hey," he sighed. "Let's talk about something a little happier, huh? Where...where do you plan on looking for work once you get back on your feet?"

"Not exactly a happier subject," I chuckled. "But, I don't know. I'm sure the position at the campus bookstore has been filled. But I remember my old co-worker Lia telling me she works part-time at The Confectionery. Might check it out."

"The Confectionery...good to know," he nodded. "You gotta let me know if you get lucky."

"Why, so you can stalk me," I joked.

"Nah," he smiled. "It's just good to know what your friends are up to and...if I need to reach you then I know where you can...be reached."

"Uh...okay."

. . .

N A T E

My face was sore as fuck when I woke up to the sound of the garage doors opening downstairs. I had my mattress on the floor and the bed frame against the wall. I didn't care to put any of it together. I looked to my side and The Giver was on the floor right beside the bed.

I rolled over to the other side and there was Liv asleep in my bed. Only, it wasn't really her. It was my imagination and the serious amount of weed & liquor in my system.

She opened her eyes and reached for my hair, pushing it out of my face. Her hand traveled down to my shoulder and she outline my tattoo with her fingers.

"I love you," I whispered to her. And I said it over and over again. "Baby...say it back."

All she did was look up at me with those big & bold eyes.

"Olivia...please." It was like the visions were fading and my speech was slurred once again. So I rolled to the end of my mattress and grabbed the half-empty bottle of Hennessy. 

That's all it's been lately. I'd wake up, take a couple shots, then go to work tipsy. I don't have a TV, so what do I do instead? for entertainment? I drink some more.

"Get your shit together, Nathan," she appeared once again. This time she was straddled on top of me. "All you do is lay around and drink like a loser. Go ahead and keep proving my mom right."

"Yo, fuck what she said," I retaliated, grabbing those thighs of hers. "She don't know us, babe. No one knows us like we know us."

She kept fading out and becoming distorted. Tears formed in my eyes because I could feel myself spiraling down and out of control. It didn't matter if I was stable or losing my mental, she was always there somehow in my mind. And it was killing me slowly that I couldn't physically find my way to her. The world was against us as it has always been, but worse; her mother and her so-called friends don't want us together.

But I kept battling myself looking for reasons to keep fighting for her or to let her go.

I was tired and felt beat down. She has no way of contacting me now. I should've thought about that before I tossed out my cell phone. My only chance of hope is to go to the place she used to work. And I remembered where it was. I'll never forget when I made her kiss me after Foosh, Alex, and I were being chased by that shop owner. I still think it was a sign from God that it was her I crashed into. She doesn't know it but I actually wanted to kiss her. I could've easily just hugged her, but I needed to taste those lips.

Now it's all just a memory.

. . .

O L I V I A

My mother had found me a new apartment on the East side of campus. School didn't start back up for another five weeks so I didn't really care. I had a feeling these next five weeks  were going to leave the door wide open for me to embrace the suck.

It was still early and my last day in the hospital. Mother felt the need to open the blinds and let the sunshine in as if I wanted it.

"You're going to love your new place," she beamed. "It'll be a fresh start and a brand new semester."

I was less than hype about it. I just laid there, tapping my finger gently over my covered wound.

"What if I don't want a fresh start," I asked.

"Everyone wants a fresh start."

"Yeah...but I wanted Nate with mine..."

"What do you want me to do, Liv? Huh?" She was getting frustrated as she looked upon all the flower bouquets that were sent to me. "I flew all the way to Cali to make sure my daughter was alive and well. I bring her to Omaha as she requested. I find her a comfortable living arrangement--"

"Can we please not play the guilt trip card?"

"Honey," she sat on the edge of my bed. "I know you loved Nate and you two were engaged and this and that...but it's over. He's gone--"

"Wait, Mom?"

"He left, Olivia. Hasn't even contacted your friends or anything--"

"Mom..."

"He's a loser, Olivia. He doesn't deserve you and you can do so much b--"

"Mom!!"

"What?"

"......I never told you about the engagement."