Song: what about angels - Birdy
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I took a deep breath and walked up the stairs, nodding at the security guard as he opened the door for me. Inside the air was warm and quite, like any other office building. The memory of my office back in Canada came rushing back.

The receptionist was sitting on the left corner of the hall, her body hidden by the counter and a bored expression on her face.

"Good Morning, How can I help you?" She asked with a practised smile as I stood in front of her.

I gave her a genuine one and replied:

"I have an appointment with Mrs Ian at 11."

"Please wait a moment" she said, her eyes automatically shifting from me to the computer screen in front of her.

"Eva Evans?" She asked looking up at me.

"Yes" I nodded.

"Okay, please have a seat, I will call you in a few minutes"

"Thankyou" I replied and turned around.

After thinking about what Henry said and discussing it with mom I finally decided to give this a shot. Working will keep my mind occupied from all the thoughts running wild in my mind these past few weeks. A distraction that would be helpful.

I sat in the waiting area, looking around the interior of the building when my phone buzzed. I unlocked it to find a message from Leigh:

'Best of luck for today ;)'

A smiled escaped my lips. Leigh was very enthusiastic about the idea, spend a whole hour convincing me that I should do it.

"Mrs Ian will see you now" said the receptionist.

I placed my phone back in my purse and got up. Following closely behind her I took in a deep breath to calm my nerves down. I have done this before, when I went to the Red Woods Publishing Company to get a job. I remembered being stressed and not able to sleep the night before.

Now as I walked up towards the room which had a name plate Kelly Ian plastered on the door I could feel the same anxiousness travel around my body. I was disappointed ti realize they weren't as strong as they were the last time.

Thw receptionist knocked on the door, from inside came a soft 'Come in'

Stepping aside from the door, the receptionist motioned me towards the door. Nodding at her and saying a small thankyou I stepped forward and opened the door.

Mrs Ian was just like any other forty year old women. She wore a pink dress with matching pink earrings. Her glasses stood at the tip of her nose as she read some papers infront of her. Hearing the door open she looked up at me with her blue eyes.

"Please have a seat" she said, gesturing towards the chair in front of her.

I took another deep breath and moved towards the chair. Placing my file on the table I sat down as quietly as I could.

"Hello, I'm Eva, nice to meet you"

"Nice to meet you too" smiled Mrs Ian.

I stared at her face that still looked young, just a few wrinkles sprinkled like a topping and her thin lips streched  like a stocking.

I felt myself relax a little.

................................

"It wasn't bad" I said to Leigh as I took a sip of my shake. Sitting beside the window in Sandy's cafe.

"Details Eva, I need details"

"She was nice, checked my portfolio, complimented me on my credentials, acknowledged my experience and told me she would call me soon"

"I hope you get it" said Leigh yawning.

"Yea, me too."

For the first time in two weeks I felt exhilarated. I was excited to do this, to start working again. I made a mental note to thank Henry again for telling me about this job and for the pep talk he gave to accept it.

I really hope I get the job.

"When do you think they will call?" Asked Leigh.

"There is a whole team they are picking out right now so I don't know." I replied.

I took another sip of the shake and as I looked up I spotted Carter walking towards the cafe.

"Did she tell you what you will do if you get selected?"

I watched as he entered the cafe, thankful he hadn't spotted me sitting in the corner. I watched his natural confident walk towards the counter.

"Will you review articles like you did here? Or will you do poetry like me?"

He smiled at the boy stationed behind the counter and then said something, the boy wrote what he said on his notebook and went inside the kitchen. I wondered what he had ordered. Too frozen to move my eyes, I prayed he wouldn't turn around, cause then he would catch me staring at him.

"Eva?"

He sat on one of the high stools placed around the counter and took out his phone from his pant pockets. His grey coat looking crisp on him. His hair pulled back in a tame manner, the same way they were on the tv when I saw first saw him in years.

Five years to be precise.

"Helloooo....."

"Yea, hey sorry, I just um... I just got lost. Um....I'll talk to you later. You seem sleepy as well. Goodnight"

Before Leigh could reply I ended the call. Gathering my things I decided to leave before Carter could spot me and this could turn into another awkward encounter.

Placing my phone back into my purse, I looked up again. Carter was standing up, he grasped the shake in his hand and turned around. With his eyes still on the phone he walked out of the cafe and then walked down the road to his car.

I watched as he gracefully opened the door and sat inside. The same way he did when we were in highschool. I watched him speed by, his eyes on the road the same way they used to be five years ago.

With a light huff I sat back down in my chair.

Carter had ordered chocolate shake. The same as mine. The same I always used to order, my favourite. The same he said he didn't like because of too much sweetness five years ago.

......................................

We were sitting inside Dr Mathew's office. He was a thirty five year old guy with light brown hair and fair skin. As he checked my mom's files I glanced around his office. He had a book shelf filled with books, I had an urge to check what they were. There were boards hanging all around the room containing information about breats cancer, as if it was that simple.

My eyes shifted to mom, she was holding Henry's hand, trying to sit as calmly as she could. But I could see through it. Henry could see through it. Even Dr Mathew's who didn't know her that well could see through her. But she wasn't the one most tense in the room. It was me and Henry.

"Okay" said Mathew, taking off his glasses and placing them on his file.

I could hear my heart beating, like a drum. Like a wild, injured animal. I wondered if everyone else could hear it too but were pretending not.

"The two things we need to focus on when it comes to cancer of any sort is: one, stop it from growing and two, stop it from coming back once the treatment is successful. We will first begin with getting rid of the cancer inside you."

He picked up a file and placed it in front of us.

"Here is your treatment plan. We will start with surgery, which needs to be scheduled as soon as possible. My suggestion would be within the next two weeks. Then we will have chemotherapy and one or more of the following: targeted therapy, radiation and hormone therapy. That of course will be decided after the surgery."

I knew all that, it was written in my notebook long ago. It was also send to me by Alex, better researched than mine. But hearing the doctor say that made everything alot more real.

I had a sudden urge to cry. And not the quite, wetting the pillow kind but the loud, frustrating and angry kind.

The doctor looked at the three of us for a moment and then with a deep sigh said:

"The best thing we can do right now is stay positive and pray. We need to fight this illness, being scared and worried will not help anyone."

My mom reached out and held my hand. I didn't look at her because I knew she knew I was about to start crying.

"The cancer is stage II. We are lucky it was diagnosed early. The treatment will hopefully be successful and you will be fine."

He smiled at my mom and she nodded back. I wasn't sure if she believed him.

"Yes, everything will be fine. We'll fight this together and come out victorious" said Henry, lifting mom's hand.

"That's right! Lets stay hopeful and pray. Mrs Smith you will be soon healthy again."

.....................................

"Um....I think I'll go out for a drive" I said to Henry and mom as we got out of the car.

We had just returned home from the hospital, it was six in the evening and the sky looked like an orange candy who's colours were fading. I didn't want to go inside the house yet, I didn't want to talk to mom or Henry about today's appointment. It was too much to take in.

"Okay, don't stay out late" said Mom.

I nodded and head over to my car. For the first time since I got here I wished Leigh was here. I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts, it would have been nice to talk to someone. I wish I could go to Ally and cry but I couldn't.

The city was a stranger now with only my mom as a familiar sight.

I rolled my window down and welcomed the wind that came in. It was getting dark now and I could see the stars, like freckles on a face.

It was after an hour of travelling around the city that my car started making weird sounds and then stopped.

"No.....no....no......no" I said, trying to turn it on. Twisting the key again and again in hopes that it will start.

"ARGHHH" I screamed hitting the steering wheel.

The sun had completely sinked by now. I got out of the car and moved it to the side of the road. With a loud huff I opened the bonnet and stared at the engine.

I didn't know what was wrong, everything seemed alright. I looked around the road desperately, there weren't many cars or people around. Suddenly my eyes filled up and tears started streaming down my face.

"What....is....wrong.....with....you" I said hitting the car with my foot.

I knew this wasn't the time or place for a breakdown but all I could do was cry and hit the car again and again. My body was shaking due to saddness and frustration and anger. I wiped my tears and hit the bonnet with my fist.

"That's not going to start the car, it'll only hurt you" came a voice from behind me.

I spin around and saw Carter standing a few feet away from me. His car parked behind him.

I hurriedly wiped off my tears. The last thing I wanted right now was for Carter William to see me cry.

He walked over to me and stopped a few inches short. He leaned a little over my shoulder to look at the car's engine. I stepped away, putting space between us.

"What are you doing here?" I asked my voice a little hoarse from all the screaming.

He walked back to his car and took out a box of tissue.

"This seems like a mechanics work" he said walking over to me. He offered me the box and I took out a tissue.

I felt embarrassed and conscious as I wiped my face. There was a high chance I looked like a complete mess right now. I wanted to run away from him.

"I'll drop you off" said Carter.

He turned around and started walking back to his car.

"No, its fine I'll call Henry and I cant leave the car-"

"I'll have someone take it to the workshop"

I looked up at him and saw him staring at me.

"Thankyou Carter but I don't want to impose"

A small smile appeared on his face.

"Impose? Sometimes I forget you're a writer"

I didn't know what that meant or what to say so I looked away from him.

"Its dark, it'll take Henry about forty minutes to reach here. Taking a taxi is more dangerous than coming with me. Get in the car Eva and stop being stubborn"

As much as I hated to agree with him, I knew carter was right, it was dark and I didnt want to disturb Henry after such a long and hard day. I silently walked towards the car, avoiding Carter's eyes and his remark about me being stubborn.

I reached for the backseat door handle and tried to pull it open but the door wouldn't bulge. My eyes shifted from the door to Carter, he was still looking at me, standing outside with his car door open. I waited for him to open the lock.

"I'm not your driver" he said with a stoic expression.

It took me a moment to register what he said. letting go of the door handle, I moved to the other side and opened the passenger side door.

The moment I sat inside I was hit by the familiar Carter smell. It was the same as it was five years ago, even though the cologne probably changed. The car was very like him too, like the Carter I knew. Black and silver from the inside. I wondered what happened to the car he used back in high school.

Thousands of memories came flooding back, thousands of thoughts ran wild in my mind. I thought of getting out of the car and calling a taxi. I didnt want to sit alone in a car with Carter.

The atmosphere was silent and awkward as Carter sat inside and started the car. There were some files placed on the dashboard and some in the backseat with his coat but other than that the car looked clean.

As we drived on the road, Carter dailed someone's number. After the second bell a chirpy sound filled the car.

"Hey Ben, I need you to pick up a car and take it to the workshop. Think you can do that?" Said Carter.

"Sure boss, anything for you" replied Ben.

Carter told him the address and then ended the call.

"The car will be delivered to you after its fixed" said Carter, his eyes looking straight ahead.

"You don't have to get it fixed. Henry can do that...." I replied.

"Are you okay?"

I stopped talking and turned to look at him. He was still looking at the road with the same expressionless face. Why did he ask me that? Of all the people I wanted to asking me if I was okay after a breakdown Carter was the last one.

"I'm perfectly fine" I snapped and looked away from him.

We didn't talk again, I stared out the window and Carter stared at the road. I wondered why he stopped. Was it because he knew it was me or because he just saw a girl in need and wanted to help her.

I wanted to ask if he helping me because it was me or because he was just being a decent man.

I wanted to ask him if he ever thought of me after I left. Ever missed me during sunset or weekend.

If he ever regretted the breakup.

I closed my eyes and stopped myself from going ahead. I was never going to ask him these questions and I never should. He has clearly moved on and was living a good life, he didn't deserve to be pulled back in the past.

It was my fault that I was thinking all of these thoughts, that I was staying in the past instead of moving ahead.

Did I really never moved on from what happened? From him?

Just the thought of that held my breath. I couldn't actually be missing him. I couldn't be still in love with him right?

"We went to the doctor today" I said, letting go of my breath.

I didn't know why I was telling him that. Maybe because he was the only one here.

"He gave us the treatment plan, mom's going to have a surgery in two weeks."

"Your mom is going to be fine Eva, everything will be okay again. Don't worry too much, don't stress yourself out. You need to be strong for her."

I wanted to sneak a glance at him. I wanted to ask if he was saying that because it was me or because he was just being a decent man.

It took us thirty minutes to reach home. Carter didn't know where I lived so I guided him.

"Thankyou, very much" I said looking at him.

He looked back at me and nodded.

Opening the car door I stepped out and after a moments thought looked at him again.

"Do you want to come inside" I asked lightly. My heart beating erratically.

He looked up at me and didn't say anything for a few moments.

"No thankyou, I have a date and I'm already late"

I felt a cold feeling pass in my chest, like my heart was freezing up.

"Sorry for causing you to be late. Thankyou again"

I closed the door without waiting for his response, without sparing him another glance.

I moved towards the front door, angry at myself for asking him that. Why would I ask him to come inside? It wasn't like we were on a date and he was dropping me off. I just wanted to hide for a little while. Away from Carter and away from this city.

Behind me I heard a car engine start.

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Hello everyone, hope you are all okay. This was a long long chapter and I hope you all like it.
It was hard writing the doctors appointment scene. At times like these no one likes to read about sickness and no one wants to write them either. At least not me.
But anywayd I hope it turned out good. I hope everything, everywhere turns out good.
Comment and vote.

Love,
S. Maham Fatima