Song: Soon you'll get better - Taylor Swift ft Dixie Chicks

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I yawned and stretched my arms as I made my way downstairs. It was five in the morning and I just wanted the day to end already. 

I moved towards the kitchen to get a glass of water when I saw dad sitting in the living room couch, staring idly at the blank television screen ahead, completely lost in thought.

"Dad" I called, reaching the door but he didn't answer back.

I walked towards him and placed my hand on his shoulder. He flinched at the contact and turned to look at me.

"Hey, you're up?" He asked, realizing it was me.

"Yeah, you okay?" I asked.

"Yea..yea...I'm...I'm okay" he said still a little dazed.

"Are you sure?" I asked again sitting next to him.

"I think you're over doing yourself again-"

"When was the last time you talked to your mom?" He cuts in.

"Um...like a week ago. Why?" I asked thinking that I should give her a call today.

My dad stays silent, staring at the floor below. I wait for him to say something but he doesn't and that's when worry starts to surface in me.

"Dad? Is everything okay?" I asked carefully, calculating my every word, his every move.

He takes in a deep sigh and looks back at me, I see his eyes and know instantly that everything is not okay. That something is very wrong.

"Dad?" I say again, prompting him to say something.

"Henry called last night, he...he told me that your mom isn't doing good, she...she's sick"

I stayed silent and stared at him. Taking in what he said word by word, then very slowly I asked:

"What do you mean she's sick?"

Dad took in another deep breath before saying:

"Your mom has breast cancer Eva. Stage II"

I felt my heart stop beating, my breath caught in my throat as all of my body refused to take in this new information, refused to acknowledge it and accept it. I stared at my dad waiting for him to deny this but he wasn't meeting my eyes, too infused in his own sadness.

"Cancer?" I repeat, feeling every letter of the word gnawing on my throat, like fingers with sharp nails, like chalk on a board.

My father nodded, his head still bowed down. I stared at him as my body shivered with fear. With pain and grief. I thought of my mother and her beautiful, smiling face came to my mind. Her graceful movements and angelic laughter surfaced and I couldn't take it anymore.

"But She's going to get better" I said. It came out more like a question instead of a firm statement that I wanted it to be.

My dad finally looked up, staring at me before he nodded with conviction.

"Of course. She will get better, your mom is a strong women"

I asked my heart to stop beating this fast, telling it that its okay, that mom was going to be okay and there is nothing to worry about. I suddenly had the strong urge to talk to my mom, to see her and lay in her lap while she sang me to sleep on a stormy night.

"How...how long since they found out?" I asked.

"A month ago, Lindsey didn't wanted to worry us but now......Henry said she's losing hope"

Another shiver ran down my body.

"You're mom wants to see you all. She....she wants to spend time with you incase its.....that's why Henry called. He asked if we could take out some time and visit."

"We can, I can ask Jim for a leave."

My dad nodded, taking a deep breath.

"I think it would be better if you could ask for a long leave. Your mom needs you now more than ever. Henry has work, a whole business to take care off. He could use some help"

He was right, mom needed me, she was obviously going through a hard time. And so was Henry. I again had the urge to see mom, talk to her, make sure she was okay. That she was going to be okay.

I refused to believe that something could happen to my mom. She was going to get better. She has to.

.................................

I was in my cubical, holding my cellphone, trying to gather my courage so I could call mom.

After the countless shivers of fear my body felt numb now, my mind completely blank. I couldn't continue with the day like everything was okay, like it was just another normal day. Because there was nothing normal about today.

I thought of my mom again. Her always fresh and energetic self.  It was hard to imagine that there is a thing growing inside her now that could possibly......

I shake my head to get rid of these thoughts, they were too much, so sharp and evil and powerful. They could consume me in them completely if I let my gaurd down.

I unlocked my phone again and dialed the number, bringing it to my ear I imagine its tune as the heartbeat of my mother, steady and still intact.

After a few bells my mother picked up the phone, her sweet voice travelling through the phone to calm me down instantly.

"Hello? Eva?" she said.

I didn't reply, just repeated her voice in my head over and over again.

"Eva?"

"Hey, mom" I finally said, taking in a breath.

"How are you?" She asked cheerfully, as if she wasn't struggling, wasn't in pain.

"I....I'm I'm fine, how are you?" I asked trying to keep my voice stable.

"I'm....I'm okay too" she replied.

"Mom its going to be okay.....everything will be okay" I said as the first tear made its way down my face.

I didn't cry when I heard the news because I didn't to believe it, I didn't cry later because I was determined everything will be fine, that this is a bad dream and we all will wake up after some time.

But now, hearing my mom's voice, so clear and alive, I couldn't hold it anymore. Its like opening the only window in the house that had been stopping the flood from bursting in.

"Its okay my child, its okay, you don't need to cry I'm right here. Everything will be okay" replied my mom, hearing my cries.

I closed my eyes and let more tears make their journey down, like the droplets of rain on the window of a car.

"I didn't wany to tell you, I didn't want to make you all worried but then I thought what if this was the end, what if this was the last chance I get to see you-"

"Mom stop" I said sharply, getting rid of my tears furiously.

"This is not the end okay? You will get better, you will be fine and we will remember this like a bad dream"

I heard her sigh, like she doesn't believe in what I say. Like she has heard these words too many times to take them seriously. I wanted to change that. I wanted her believe that she will be okay again.

"I'm coming okay? I'm coming as quickly as I can and I'm staying. I'll talk to my boss today and ask for a leave-"

"Won't your job suffer because of it?" She asked worried.

"Mom my job doesn't matter okay? Just don't worry and take care of yourself. I'll be there"

.......................................

I was sitting on the living room floor. Alex, Daniel and Millie on the couch in front of me. I counted in my head to calm myself down. I need to be calm and collective when I tell them about mom.

My phone vibrated next to me. I glanced and saw Leigh's message.

'I'll be at your place in fifteen'

Leigh didn't come to work today so I texted her about what happened. She was the only one I didn't have to be strong in front of.

"Are we in trouble?" Said Daniel breaking me out of my trance.

"No" I said shaking my head. Maybe dad should have done this instead of me.

"I wanted to talk to you all about something important"

They stared at me blankly waiting for me to say whatever I wanted to so they could leave and continue doing what they were doing.

"Henry called last night" I said.

"Are mom and Henry coming to visit us again?" Shouted Millie with a big smile on her face.

I felt sharp pain in my chest, as if someone had stabbed me with a knife.

"No" I said with an unsteady voice and cleared my throat. Taking in a deep breath I started talking again.

"Mom is sick. And it would take her sometime to get better. I would be going back and staying with her for a while-"

"What do you mean sick?" Asked Daniel.

"She....she is um..." I stuttered not sure if I should tell them.

"Eva we're not kids anymore, tell us whats wrong" said Alex staring at me intently.

"Millie I feel really thirsty can you bring me a glass of water?" I said with a smile.

She stared at me, unsure of my behaviour and then nodded. Getting up from the couch she ran towards the kitchen.

"Mom has cancer, but she will get better so you don't have to worry okay?" I said hurriedly.

"What cancer? What stage?" Asked Alex as I felt Daniel sink in the couch.

"Breast cancer and it doesn't matter what stage just....just pray for her okay? She will be fine"

"Stage matters Eva" replied Alex standing up, urgency evident in him.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw Millie coming back, walking slowly this time so she doesn't drop the water filled glass.

"No one tells Millie okay?" I said.

It was best if she didn't know. Millie gets difficult when she is stressed or sad. It would be hard for dad to manage her while I was gone.

"Thankyou very much" I said with a smile as I took the glass from her hands and drank it.

"What's wrong with mom?" She asked sitting in my lap.

"Nothing serious, just some sickness that will go away. We all know how busy Henry is so I thought it would be better if I could go back and take care of mom. So she can get well faster"

Millie nodded her head, leaning against me. I saw Alex sitting back down and I saw Daniel staring straight ahead.

"How long will you be gone?" Asked Millie, looking up at me.

"I...I don't know yet"

"Can we come with you?" Asked Alex, his voice breaking a little.

"Not right now, you can come later when dad gets some holidays okay? We don't want you to miss on your school work"

Millie stood up and turned to face me.

"I will miss you alot Eva, please come back soon and give mom lots of kisses and huggies from me" she said hugging me.

"I will and I want you all to promise me that you'll be nice while I'm gone. Wake up on time, do your homework daily, not give a difficult time to dad, take care of each other and go to bed on time. Okay?"

The three of them nodded, Millie faster than the rest of us.

"You all can go now" I said.

Millie hugged me one last time while Daniel stood up and left. Alex remained on the couch, his tears dropping the moment Millie was gone. I got up and went to him, sitting down next to him.

"Its going to be okay. She will be healthy
Again" I said hugging him.

"What stage Eva?" He asked again, wiping his tears from under his glasses.

I sighed deeply and said:

"Two, its stage II."

He nodded hugging me tighter.

"Listen to me" I said pulling away and looking him in the eyes.

"You don't need to worry about mom okay? She will be okay. While I'll be gone I'm leaving you incharge. Not dad, not Daniel, you"

"Because I'm the most sensible of us all?" He asked.

"Yes" I laughed "Take care of your sister and dad. Take extra care of Daniel, you know he doesn't express feelings like the rest of us."

Alex nodded his head and hugged me again. After he went outside to read a book in the garden as a distraction, I climbed the stairs and entered the twins room.

Daniel was lying face down on his bed, his head covered with a pillow.

"You know, its okay to feel scared?" I said sitting next to him.

He sat up staring at me. His eyes red from all the rubbing and tears.

"She will get better right?" He asked, his voice groggy from all the crying.

I wiped his tears with my hands, pushing his spread hair away. Daniel had recently gotten into hairstyles.

"Of course she will, she has to."

He nodded then looked up at me.

"I....I'll behave while you're gone. I won't get in trouble at school and I won't give dad a hard time. I'll do all my homework and even make Millie do her's. And I'll tolerate Alex and Millie no matter how annoying they are. Don't worry about us, just take care of mom."

I smiled looking at him.

"Thankyou"

.........................................

Leigh was sitting on my bed, eating an apple.

"So what did Jim say?" She asked.

"He said he'll give me a leave for a month, he can push it to a few more weeks but after that the company will find a replacement"

Leigh nodded, taking another bite of the apple. Her curly hair tied up in a pony.

"Jim wil try his best to keep you, you're one of the few people who can patiently tolerate his paranoid moments"

I stared out the window, looking at the moon soaring high. So beautiful and magnificent.

"Don't worry, your mom will get better." Said Leigh.

I turned away from the window and walked over to her.

"Also you can't go and meet her like that. You need to be filled with hope and strength cause you will have to lend it to her."

I stared at Leigh and remembered how her parents died in a car crash when she was sixteen, how she survived after that alone and how strong she really is.

I turned my eyes away from her. Wishing I never find out what its like to lose a parent.

"Did you tell Cole?" She asked.

"No" I sighed.

"You should, God I am really rooting for you two"

I smiled at her enthusiasm when it comes to Cole and me. She wanted me to be with Cole cause he was one of the few men she could tolerate.

"Will you help with packing?" I asked her, trying to distract myself from the fear and anxiety inside me.

Liegh nodded, a smile on her face as she leaned forward to hug me.

................................

Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing great. This chapter was really hard for me to write because of the whirlwind of emotions it contains. I wanted it to be written perfectly, so people can feel all that's going on at a deeper level. I hope I've accomplished that.
Also I didn't want to use another Taylor song so soon but this song felt like it was written for this chapter.

Hope you like it. Comment and vote.

Love
S. Maham Fatima