Song: deja vu - Olivia Rodrigo
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I stared at Carter and swallowed the words he had spoken. His eyes were hooded with a vulnerable look, like right now, at this moment he couldn't be strong.

I didn't know what to say, what to think. So as always I tried to escape the situation.

"I need to go" I said lightly, looking away from him.

He didn't say anything back.

I stood there for a moment longer, a moment unnecessary but nothing happened. It never did.

As I turned towards the door to leave, I heard Carter sigh.

.............................

"Eva!!!" I heard Blake's voice call me as I entered the big dining room.

There were huge round tables everywhere, the roof decorated with golden chandeliers. The hall was filled with the smell of delicious foods and the chatter of people.

I turned my head towards the direction of Blake's voice and saw him sitting at a table with ten more people which included Mr and Mrs Boseman, Mr and Mrs William and Kaisey. Sighing I made my way towards him, preparing myself for another awkward situation.

Why did I agree to this?

Reaching Blake I glided into the seat next to him.

"Took you long" he remarked, grabbing a bowl filled with crackers.

"When are we leaving?" I inquired, eyeing my soup.

Before Blake could answer I heard Kaisey call Carter's name from my right. My eyes shifted to her as she waved at someone behind me. My ears not picking up Blake's answer to my question.

Why did Carter have to sit on this table? Why did Carter have to be here? Why was it that everytime I tried to walk away from him he would be standing a step closer.

Carter slided into the chair next to Kaisey, giving her a small smile. He then reached over and shook hands with a man sitting besides Kaisey.

The man was wearing a brown suit and looked sharp. His black dyed hair were dyed gelled back. His eyes looked exactly like Kaisey and so did his smile that he was giving Carter.

That must be Kaisey's father.

"Stop staring" Blake singsonged in my ear.

I looked away, collecting my composure and grabbing the spoon to drink some soup. The quicker I eat, the faster I could get out of here.

It would not be wrong to say that the food was my only highlight of the day. It was delicious, every dish and drink. Every item was cooked to perfection and I was so absorbed in the savoury taste of it that I forgot Carter was sitting a little distance away.

Besides me Blake was also engrossed in his food, especially the pasta. Watching him eat I was reminded again of his misfortune. He must have spend countless hungry nights out on the streets and still woke up the next morning filled with energy and devotion. I admired him alot for that

Apart from us everyone at our table was having a conversation. Some were talking about business, the others about politics. The women about best holiday destinations and donation organizations. Somehow the harmless small talk shifted to the topic of marriage and out of the blue, the man sitting to my right called out Carter.

"So are we hearing any wedding bells soon?" He asked with a grin on his face.

My body froze like ice. I looked up and saw Carter staring at the man and then after a brief moment his eyes shifted to me. Besides him, Kaisey was looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer.

The table had gone quite, voices down to murmurs and conversations died. Everyone was waiting for Carter's answer and I understood why. Carter was an important bachelorette in the business world, everyone wanted to know when and who he would tie the knot with, who would be standing next to him while he handled one of the biggest company of the country.

Sitting there, surrounded by so many people, I was reminded why I always thought me and Carter were a misfit match back in high school. Kaisey was perfect for him, for that seat next to him.

"Well I predict it will be soon" said Kaisey's father when Carter took too long to respond.

"We hope so, cause it would be a grand marriage of two most beautiful people in the world" said a women a laugh.

"Yes it would be and I for one can't wait for that-" started Kaisey's father but was  interrupted.

"I don't plan on marrying anytime soon" spoke up Carter.

The table went quite again, the silence this time thickening. But Carter didn't seem to care, he picked up his glass of water and took a sip. Beside him the smile on Kaisey's face dropped.

"God he's obvious" said Blake next to me, taking another bite of his pasta.

"What Carter means is that he has been super busy with the company lately, he doesn't have time for himself let alone for a marriage" jumped in Mrs William to manage the situation.

"Ofcourse, that is very true" said a lady but I had stopped paying attention.

I stared at my plate and suddenly the food wasn't delicious anymore. I just wanted to go home, too tired to think of something else.

....................................

"So how was your date?" I heard Ally say from behind.

I was sitting on the porch, staring at the stars as the wind swept delicately around me. Ally sat next to me as I looked up to her.

"It wasn't a date" I said with a smile.

"How was the fancy party?" Asked Ally.

I took a moment to think, not wanting to remember the evening.

"Fancy?" I said looking at her.

She broke into a small laugh.

"Rich and their parties" she commented rolling her eyes.

I nodded at her words, looking back at the sky. It was clear with a few traces of clouds here and there. It felt like a complete whole was broken down into small pieces and now these small clouds floated around trying to find each other. To be whole again.

Can humans ever be whole again after they have been broken into pieces?

"I heard Carter and Kaisey were there" Ally said after a while.

I froze for a moment and then nodded slowly. She turned to assess my face, but I refuse to look back. There was nothing to read.

"I should have warned you. Carter rarely goes to things like this." She said looking back at the garden in front.

"Its fine, we didn't really interact much" I replied, keeping our little chat on the balcony to myself. "Besides it doesn't really matter"

Ally choose to ignore my words. I didn't mind, I was in no mood to talk about Carter or even think of him.

"Did something happen?" Asked Ally carefully.

My head spun to face her.

"What do you mean?" I asked. Searching my brain for any memory of the evening that Ally could question.

"Kaisey called a few minutes ago. Seemed stress with something Carter said or did."

I raised my eyebrow, asking her what bothered her.

Ally began to talk but then stopped, deciding against telling me what was bothering Kaisey.

"I don't remember anything" I replied, saving us an awkward silence.

What could have bothered Kaisey?

The talk of wedding came to my mind again. Carter saying he didn't plan on marrying soon. But how long does soon stretch?

I imagined Carter in a tux, looking handsome and happy. I imagined Kaisey.....

My head started spinning again and shut off my imagination. I reminded myself Carter said he didn't plan on marrying soon. And then asked myself why it bother me so much? It was none of my business.

I shouldn't be feeling anything.

It has been years.

I was never the one.

.....................................

I typed in the last word of my article. Sighing loudly as my head dropped on the desk. As I closed my eyes to rest for a few minutes I heard shuffling of shoes behind me and then the chair next to be squeaked under the pressure of a body.

"Have you met boss today?" Asked Blake.

I internally groaned. I didn't want to talk, too tired with exhaustion. Should I pretend to be sleeping?

"No, why?" I finally said sitting up again.

"She is angry, never seen her like this before. Looks like your Carter boy has upset her" said Blake, his eyes scanning the papers in his hands.

"He's not my Carter-"

"If I were you I would stay away from her" he cut me in.

I stared at the pen on my desk and contemplated stabbing him.

"I'm not scared of her" I said firmly, lifting my chin up.

Blake let go of something like a secret laugh.

Choosing to ignore him I turned back to my work.

"Oh, I almost forgot" I said, suddenly remembering Kaiden's apartment.

Turning to face Blake I said:

"You don't have to sleep in parks anymore. I found you an apartment."

Blake stopped scanning the papers and looked up at me.

"Henry has this vacant apartment, you can stay-"

"No" said Blake sharply, his eye back on the papers in his hand.

"Why?" I questioned. Confused with his fierce reaction instead of a relieved one.

"I don't want you to help me with this. I got it."

"Blake, I'm literally just finding you an apartment, nothing more than that. You'll pay rent if that's what you're worried about-"

"I said I got it covered" he said abruptly.

Before I could retaliate back, he stood up and left. Telling me the conversation was done.

..................................

I was in the kitchen, watching mom and Ally cooking some dish I couldn't pronounce.

Ally was doing better. She had started eating more and crying less. But there was this emptiness inside her that stared back at me. I wonder how long it will take for it to disappear.

I hope it didn't stay forever.

I didn't want her to be another hollow shell.

My phone vibrated next to me, pulling me back from Ally's hole. I picked it up to see Carter's text.

'How's Ally?' It read

When we were in highschool I used to think mine and Carter's thoughts were connected in some way.

I typed in my reply, then after a moment added 'how's Drake'.

Ally smiled at something my mom said and then started talking, her eyes lighting up slightly like they always did when she was telling a past story.

'He's struggling but still an asshole'

I released a breath I was holding.

Was Drake really never going to change?

'I'll visit soon'

Came the next message and goosebumps rose on my skin. I didn't want to see Carter. It becomes too much. Its like a drug that I have been trying to let go of for years but everytime I see it again, my progress turns to dust.

I can't be this weak.

Before I could reply to him the bell rang outside and for a moment I thought Carter was here.

Getting up I walked out, Ally and mom were too engrossed in their talks and foods to even notice.

I opened the door, thinking how to avoid Carter when my thoughts paused in their tracks after seeing the person in front of me.

"Heard you were in town too" said Mason with a grin.

His glasses resting on his nose like they always did.

....................................

One of the worst updates of my life. But its a start.

Sorry for keeping you waiting. Thankyou if you stayed. I'm grateful before anything else.

Love,
S. Maham Fatima