Song: Hard Feelings/Loveless - Lorde
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Me and Blake were sitting next to each other quietly on the bench where I previously sat alone. Both of us staring straight ahead at the moon and the stars. The sleeping bag he was holding before was now placed beside his shoes on the ground.

His words 'I don't have a home' still echoed in my ears but I didn't question him about it. I wanted him to tell me only if he wanted to himself, not because I pressured him.

"Ask" he muttered from beside me.

I turned to look at him slightly, he had closed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back on the bench.

"I know you are dying to ask. So just as ask away" he said again, opening his eyes and looking at me.

"I am not dying to ask" I corrected him.

He gave me a smirk, a loop sided smile as he continued to look at me.

"You don't have a home?" I finally asked. Repeating the words I heard him say a while ago.

He shook his head no.

"You homeless?" I said carefully, not wanting to hurt his feelings in any way.

"Yes" he replied sitting up straight.

I stayed quite for a few minutes before talking again.

"For how long?"

He took in a deep breath, like he was preparing what to say next.

"For about two years now"

My eyes widened as I stared at him.

"I'm sorry" I said lightly. Not knowing what else to say. He just merrily shrugged his shoulders.

He was homeless for two years. That is a long time. I couldn't even imagine the pain and hardships he must have gone through in the last two years.

I side glanced him and realized that it was true, we can never really know about a person, who they are and what they are going through. When I met Blake for the first time I could have never imagined that he was going through all this. That when he left the office in the evening he had nowhere to go.

"Stop pitying me" came his stern voice pulling me out of my thoughts.

"I...I wasn't-"

"Yes you were, everyone does" he said.

His eyes held sadness in them. It was the first time I had seen Blake like this, displaying such raw emotions. He was always playful or sarcastic. I didn't know underneath the cover was a man surrounded by problems.

I shook my head to get rid of these thoughts. I don't want to pity him.

"So you have been sleeping in the park for tha last two year?" I asked.

"No, I stayed with a family member for a year. They kicked me out, I'm not exactly a great person to live with. Then I stayed with a few friends of mine for a while. Shifting from one place to the other before people ask me to leave myself. I have been on the streets for four months now."

I was relieved to hear that he wasn't living on the streets for the past two years but it pained me alot that he had to go through all that.

I looked over at him, about to ask a question, I wanted to know where his parents were and how he got homeless. But then I stopped myself. He had already told me enough and even if I had a hundred more questions to ask I shouldn't throw them at him like that. We weren't friends and I didn't want him to remember the misery he felt in the last two years.

"God you have so many questions" he said looking at me.

His smile was back on his face. I gave him a small smile myself. Why was he so good at reading me? Almost as good as Carter used to be.

"But this is all you get" he stated.

I was about to say something to him when my phone suddenly rang. Taking it out of my pocket I saw Leigh's name flash on it.

"Hey" I answered.

"Where the hell are you?" She asked.

In the background I could hear screams of Millie and Daniel. They must be fighting.

"I was at the park, needed some fresh air" I replied.

"Have you seen the time?"

I hadn't, I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the time. It was past ten o' clock, I usually get home by seven.

"I lost track of time, didn't know it was this late. I'm coming back" I said to her.

"Okay, come back safely" she replied.

Ending the call I turned towards Blake, he was again leaning against the bench. His eyes closed and for a moment I thought he had fallen asleep.

"You don't have to say anything. I'm fine, don't worry about me. Go back home, it is really late"

I nodded at his words and then realized he couldn't see me.

"Okay, I'll see you in the office tomorrow?" I asked getting up.

"Of course you will" he replied.

.................................

"You look beautiful" said Alex as I brushed my hair.

I turned to look at him and smiled. He was sitting on my bed, a book placed beside him.

"Thankyou" I replied.

Today was the staff dinner. I had completely forgotten about it until Kaisey reminded us yesterday. I had worn a baby blue dress with white lace. A gift from dad on my birthday last year. As I didn't have enough time to buy a new dress I thought this would be perfect for the evening and I loved it very much.

I grabbed a blue clip from the dressing table, holding my hair so I could place it.

"Let your hair down, it will look even better" said Leigh also sitting on the bed, her phone in her hand.

"Are you sure? I don't want to be over the top" I replied.

"Arghhh Eva, you look so beautiful with your hair down. And besides mark my words, you will be the under dressed one in the event" she said walking over to me.

Taking the brush in her hands she started brushing my hair, getting rid of any entanglements left.

After making sure my makeup and hair were set I walked towards my closet to get my shoes. I had selected royal blue heels to wear because Leigh wouldn't let me where my favourite pumps.

As I was enclosing the strap of my heels around my leg Millie came running in the room. She was holding a small bag in her tiny hands.

"Mom and I chose jewellery for you to wear" she said stretching her hands to give me the bag.

I took it and opened it cautiously, inside were pearl earings coupled with a pearl necklace and ring. It was beautiul, totally enchanting. I remembered mom wearing them for official occasions when I was young. I had always wanted to wear them.

"Can I wear them when I grow up?" Asked Millie sitting next to me on the bed.

"Of course you can" I replied, lightly tapping her nose.

I walked back to the mirror to wear the jewellery, deciding to go show mom after I have worn them. I liked the way they looked on me and matched perfectly with my dress.

"Your curfew is still ten, just because you have grown up a little doesn't mean you can stay out all night" came Daniel's voice.

I rolled my eyes and looked at him. He was standing at the door, his face stern and arms crossed. He looked alot like dad.

"Stop acting like your my father"

"No but he is right, you can't stay out late in this city which contains likes of Carter William" said Alex.

"Is Carter a bad person?" Asked Millie innocently.

"Very bad. He is the most dangerous person in the world. At night he grows sharp fangs to hunt on young girls" said Daniel moving towards Millie, making his voice deep and scary.

"He loves to eat little ones especially and now that he knows you are here Millie he might come any night to EAT YOU"

With a loud scream Millie ran out of the room, probably going to mom. Daniel ran after her, still scaring her loudly. After a moment Alex got up and ran after them too. Leigh was cracking up on the bed while I rolled my eyes at them with a smile of my own.

I sighed and turned back to the mirror, knowing I was going to miss them so much once they are gone.

........................................

I checked myself in the front mirror for the last time. Making sure everything looked presentable. After running my hands through my hair one more time I stepped out of the car.

The restaurant was a Chinese one. The outside was glowing with red lights. I have never been here before, infact I had never seen this place before. Maybe it was built after I moved away.

"Oh wow" came a voice as I was climbing up the stairs towards the front door.

Turning around I saw Blake standing a few steps away from me. He climbed up the stairs and reached where I was standing.

"You look......pretty" he said looking at me.

I was a little stunned to hear that, Blake had never complimented me before. This was new and strange.

"Stop flirting with me" I replied with a smile. Not wanting this conversation to turn awkward just because he complimented me.

I looked at him and realized he didn't look bad himself. He had dressed up, which I wasn't expecting. He was wearing a cream coloured shirt with grey pants. His hair pulled back by gel. He looked handsome, something I have never seen him as before.

"Stop looking at me like you want me" he countered smirking.

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help smiling. I was glad that things weren't different or weird between us because of last time, because I knew Blake was homeless. I had feared change, him becoming distant. I didn't want that because it wasn't good for work and also because I actually enjoyed his company now, somewhat.

I was surprised to think that. Never in a million years I would have thought that me and Blake would be on good terms.

"Shall we go inside?" Asked Blake.

I nodded at his question, snapping out of my thinking hole.

We walked up the rest of the stairs together. The gaurd standing outside gave us a nod and opened the doors.

The interior was huge, bigger than I had expected. It was decorated with red and brown furniture, the lights neither too bright nor too dim.

"Eva, Blake" I heard Olivia's voice calling us and spotted a few of our colleagues on the left.

We walked over to them, half of the people had already arrived. I was glad I wasn't late. There was a long table arranged for us to sit around.

Me and Blake sat down together right in the center. Everyone looked happy, chatting and laughing with each other. It was nice to meet everyone outside the office. We never get a chance to talk or know each other because of the overloading work. But here everyone was relaxed, their work forgotten as they told stories about their children and parents.

I talked with everyone for a while, they were all nice people. In between Blake would pass a snarky comment but other than that everything was going well.

About fifteen minutes later Kaisey showed up and the attention of the whole restaurant turned towards her. She was wearing a voilet dress, her hair done in curls. She sat on the further end of the table greeting everyone with a smile.

When her eyes landed on me her smile slipped a little while she nodded. I nodded back and she quickly moved on to the next person. I looked around me and saw each women one by one slightly. Leigh was right, I was the most under dressed person here.

"Stop comparing" whispered Blake from beside me.

"What?" I asked looking at him.

"Your looking at other girls and comparing yourself to them. Don't do that"

For the second time in an hour Blake had left me speechless. I never knew he was that good of an observer. He is always loud and playful, I never considered he had another side. Quite opposite of his usual one. And how did he know what I was thinking? This ability of him was haunting in a way.

The dinner went on normally after that, just like most staff dinners. I mostly stayed quite, talking a few times here and there. Besides people were more interesting in talking to Kaisey. Asking her about her life, opinions and choices. Hearing her talk I could tell she was really smart. Each answer of her measured and clever. Neither too outrageous nor too boring.

Apart from Kaisey, the other person everyone was interested in was Blake. Today I realized while sitting there that everyone in the office admired Blake and his spontaneous nature. He would tell stories in great ways and the funniest jokes anyone had ever heard. Even his sarcastic remarks were taken lightly. I was starting to think that this playful nature was a cover to a really vulnerable side.

He also tried to include me into the conversations every chance he got, like he didn't want me to feel out of place.

The food arrived sometime later and soon everyone was focused on eating, having short conversations here and there. I had not eaten chinese in a long time and was looking forward to the food. It was a relief that everything was delicious, from the rice to the side dishes.

Everyone mentioned to Kaisey what a great choice she had in selecting restaurants. Kaisey was really the star of the evening. She was the kind of person who grabbed everyone's attention without even trying to. Quite unlike me.

Sometimes I wondered how did Carter end up with her after dating me. How could a person date two people who are completely opposite. Then I realize that people like Kaisey had always been his type, Caroline was like that too. Quick-witted, confident and smart. I was the odd one Carter had dated, not Kaisey.

Everything was going well, I was enjoying the evening and having a good time. However all of that changed when Carter stepped into the restaurant.

"Oh you're early" I heard Kaisey say and looked up from my food.

Carter was standing next to her on the right side of the table. He was wearing a tux, royal blue in colour with a black tie. His whole attire screamed formal.

What was he doing here?

"Yeah, my meeting finished early so I came by in case you were free. I called but you didn't pick up. It looks like your still busy. I'll leave then, text me when you get free and I'll come pick you up" he said looking at her.

"Why don't you join us? It would be nice to know about our boss's partner a little" I heard Martin, one of the staff members say from the other side.

Carter's eyes lifted from Kaisey and travelled down the table, stopping for a few moments at me. Like they were searching for me. I looked away, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Thankyou very much but I don't want to intrude. This is an official staff dinner and I'm not a part of your team" he said politely.

He's always so polite.

"Oh no, its fine. Please join us" said someone and soon everyone was asking Carter to join.

My body went rigid and my appetite ran out of the door. I didn't want him to stay, I would become too consious of him. And although I had decided to move on from him that didn't mean it was easy. Nothing was easy when it came to Carter William.

How can I forget him when I see him all the time?

"Everyone is pressing, why don't you stay? We will be done here soon anyways" I heard Kaisey say.

I looked up again and could see Carter contemplating, his eyes shifting to me again. Kaisey raised her hand from the table and enclosed it around his, pushing him towards her.

"Okay, I'll stay for a while" said Carter and the table roared with approval.

He sat next to a laughing Kaisey, a smile on his face too as he looked at her. It felt like thet were in a bubble of their own. I looked away when I realized I was staring.

"Here" said Blake and I turned to him, trying to stop thinking about Carter and Kaisey.

He was offering me water while looking me in the eyes, maybe he could tell I was becoming uncomfortable. Why did I make everything so obvious? Why can't I mask my emotions and behaviour?

I took the glass and drank about half of it. My eyes shifting back to Carter without my permission. He was already looking at me, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Tell us how you two met each other?" Asked Olivia from beside me.

Kaisey looked over at us and smiled.

"We met at a business party." She replied, a memory playing behind her eyes.

"Our father's are businessmen and they forced us both to go to this huge, boring party where we didn't know anyone."

I looked around me and saw everyone listening to her intently. Carter was also looking at her as she narrated their story.

"I had my eyes on Carter the moment he walked in. He looked so handsome and mysterious and I was just tots3lly drawn to him"

Carter had that affect on people. I know because I was a victim to it.

"I didn't know how to approach him first, scared that he might get annoyed. Then I found him standing alone at one of the balconies of the venue, staring at the stars. I gathered my courage and went up to him" finished Kaisey, a smile on her face as she looked at Carter.

"I was glad she approached, we talked for a long time standing there under the stars" added Carter, lightly pushing her hair that had come out back behind her ear.

"Awww that is so sweet. A true love story." said someone but I wasn't interested in knowing who.

I didn't know what I was feeling but I felt something in the pit of my stomach after hearing that. All I knew was that I didn't like it at all.

"While we are talking about couples, why don't we talk about the one in our office" said Martin.

I was mindlessly moving my rice on my plate, still thinking about Carter and Kaiseys story. Not interested in the conversation or the food anymore. Slightly I felt a jerk from my right.

I looked up at Blake and was about to say something angrily when I realized everyone was looking at me. I looked around the table, even Carter and Kaisey had their eyes on me.

"What?" I asked, unsure of this sudden attention.

"You and Blake. Is there something going on?" Said Martin suggestively.

"They even came here together today" added Olivia.

I wanted to laugh at their suggestion. Did they really think that something romantic could happen between me and Blake? We fought all the time in the office. I was worried that everyone was getting tired of our constant bickering.

"What!? Of course not!! There is nothing going on between me and Blake" I replied quickly, laughing a little to turn this into a joke.

I turned to Blake hoping he would divert the conversation away from us.

"Yet. There is nothing going on yet. Who knows what can happen in the future" said Blake instead, catching me off guard as he smiled a sinister smile at me.

There was another uproar, this time directed at us. I was stunned.

"Oh my god, I think you two will look so cute together" said Jessie from across me.

"Blake is just messing around, as usual. Please don't take him seriously" I laughed after coming back to my senses.

From under the table I kicked Blake as hard as I could, hearing him curse under his breath.

"Yea, yea, I was just kidding. Don't gossip about us in the office tomorrow. Besides Eva is definitely not my type" said Blake finally.

"We'll see about that, we'll see" said Martin raising his eyebrows as everyone laughed.

Soon the topic shifted from us to something else which I was grateful for.

"What is wrong with you?" I muttered to Blake, making sure no one was looking at us.

"Stop acting like your so disgusted by this idea and tell me why does the boss's boyfriend look like he wants to murder someone. Preferably me." Blake whispered back.

Without meaning to, my eyes turned towards Carters direction. And Blake was right, he was visibly fuming. His face constricted in anger, his hand clenched in a fist on the table as he looked at Blake like he wanted to kill him.

.........................................

I was walking back to my car, thankful that the dinner had ended. Ever since Carter came the whole atmosphere of the place changed for me. I hated that he still had that kind of hold on me. I just wanted to get rid of him in every way possible and live my life.

As I was searching for my keys in my purse I heard voices from behind me. Turning to them I saw Carter and Kaisey walking towards where I was.

"Oh Eva" stopped Kaisey as she spotted me.

Carter stopped next to her, clearly avoiding me.

"Any problem?" She asked, her voice filled with concern. I didn't know if it was real or fake considering our last encounter.

"I was just looking for my keys" I replied, looking in my bag, trying to find them faster so I don't have to stay here any longer.

"Okay, I'll see you at the office tomorrow?" She said sweetly.

Why was she acting so sweet?

Carter looked over at her, a strange look on his face.

Before I could reply there came a loud beeping sound followed by a motorcycle coming towards me. Blake stopped his vehicle next to me, throwing a helmet that I caught in my hands.

"Hop on, we're going" he said starting the bike again.

"Where?" I questioned, staring at the red helmet.

"To eat ice-cream"

It was already 11, the sky filled with darkness. Should I go with Blake to eat ice-cream this late? We had to go to the office tomorrow too. I looked up at him and saw him patiently waiting for my answer.

He had been nothing but nice to me today and was not the person I had thought he was.

I walked over to his side and climbed up on the motorcycle. He turned a little and clasped the helmet around my head.

From the corner of my eyes I could see Carter's eyes on me. As if he was asking me what I was doing, as if he wanted me to step down from the bike.

I looked him straight in the eye and he didn't look away. What was going on? What was happening here between us?

"See you tomorrow boss" said Blake, Kaisey nodded at him slightly.

I grabbed Blake from behind for support. Not wanting to get too close. Looking up again I saw Carter turn away, his hand pulling Kaisey along with him. A grave expression on his face.

I let the image of him go in the wind as  Blake sped us out of the parking lot.

I was letting go of Carter William.

..................................

Here you have a long update!!! I hope you all enjoy it. See you on friday!!!

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Love,
S. Maham Fatima