Song: knees - Bebe Rexha
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"Um....How's your mom?" Asked Blake from beside me.

I froze for a secons, stopping whatever I was doing. Then, slowly, I turned towards him. He was already looking at me.

"How do you know about my mother?" I asked.

He looked at me sheepishly.

"I asked boss" he said then hurriedly added: "I was just worried, you seemed off on the phone call. I wasn't being a creep"

"I never said you were being a creep"

He nodded once, I turned back to my laptop.

"She is fine now, the surgery was successful." I said. "Thankyou for asking"

"That's great to hear, I wish her a speedy recovery"

I paused again, this wasn't like Blake at all. For the past weeks he had been super nice. I wasn't sure if he was pretending or not but either way he was doing a pretty good job.

"Its break time, I was heading to the cafeteria, want to come along?"

I wasn't sure if I wanted to go with him, I was being very careful of him ever since that day. But Blake was also a fellow worker and I cannot continually ignore a colleague. Besides, it does seem like he is trying to make things right.

"Yeah, okay" I said getting up.

We both walked to the cafeteria downstairs together. Most of the people had already headed towards there, the hall was packed by different employees from different departments. I still had not made many friends here esepecially from other departments.

"One cup of black coffee and..." ordered Blake looking at me, waiting for me to tell what I wanted.

"Orange juice" I replied, I wasn't really hungry but felt like drinking something fresh.

I saw Blake roll his eyes accompanied by a small smile on his face. The person taking our order noted what we said and went back to the kitchen to get our drinks.

"What?" I asked, turning to Blake the moment he was gone.

"Nothing" he replied, pretending like he didn't know what I was asking about.

"You rolled your eyes, it must be something" I pestered.

A small chuckle escaped him that he was trying to keep in ever since I ordered the juice. I looked at him sternly, waiting for an answer.

"Its just, I should have known you would order something like orange juice." He said finally.

"What do you mean?" I asked, utterly confused about what he was saying.

"You have a very orange juice vibe" he stated seriously.

I stared at him dumbfounded. What is wrong with him.

"That sounded weird" said Blake after a moment, realising that what he said really did sound stupid.

"Anyways, about our article-" he started, changing the subject. "Should we visit the library tomorrow?"

"Blake we are not going anywhere together remember? I'll visit it by wednesday and-"

"Oh come on Eva" said Blake cutting me off, a scowl visible on his face. "I said I'm sorry it was never my intention for things to turn out the way they did. You can't just hold that against me forever."

I looked at his, it seemed like he was frustrated, more with himself than with me.

"I....I.....I'm not doing good financially. I took you to that cafe because it was the cheapest one I knew with good food. I wanted to make a good impression on a fellow worker"

I said nothing, just stared at him as he spoke. His curly hair messing up as he ran his hand through them.

"I didn't realise the area I was taking you unil after we reached there." He sighed.

There was regret on his face, as if he said something he didn't want to say.

"Blake, I pay for my food myself, I wasn't expecting you to pay for me." I said.

"I know you were going to pay for yourself, I didn't have enough money to pay for myself. That's why I took us there. It was all I could afford at that time." He replied irritated.

I knew he wasn't irritated by me but by himself. More specifically his circumstances. I have been there before, had seen my dad struggle to pay bills. Suddenly my heart filled with sympathy for him, he must be going through a lot right now.

"I understand, its okay, you don't have to tell me more. I understand that day was an honest mistake" I finally said.

He looked up at me, probably to see if I was being honest or sarcastic. Me and Blake are usually sarcastic with each other, I guess its time to change.

"Really?" He asked, hopeful.

"Yea, yes" I replied with a small smile. "Don't ask again or I might change my mind"

He laughed at what I said, his face slowly getting rid of the frustration and irritation from before.

"You know, for a rich person, you're not that bad" he said casually as the cafeteria man brought our drinks. I looked at Blake strangely as he picked up our drinks. Facing me, he extended his hand holding my drink forward.

"Blake I'm not rich" I said as I took the juice from his hands. "I mean, I am not elite"

He looked at me and thought for a moment. Then carefully he uttered.

"Have you seen the car you drive in?"

"That is not my car. That is my mom's husband's car. He is rich, a businessman. But I am not. Privilege yes, upper class no."

Oh, okay. Sorry for judging......your class?" He said weirdly and unsurely.

I sighed, he really was a different kind.

"Wait, isn't your mom's husband your dad?" He asked looking confused.

I wanted to scream at him for being so dumb.

"My parents got divorced years ago. My mom later remarried."

"Oh, sorry to hear that" said Blake.

I dismissed his apology by my hand, finally taking a sip of the juice. The divorce was a long time ago. It doesn't affect me like it used to.

Blake also took a sip from his coffee. His eyes scanning the whole, probably to find a vacant place for us.

A thought struck in my mind. I placed my hand on Blake's shoulder and smiled.

"So you take people you want to impress to cafes? Are burgers your pick up lines?" I asked teasingly.

He leaned towards me, his face closer than it has ever been. A smirk plastered on his face.

"Don't even think about it. I know your attracted to me but its never going to happen"

I rolled my eyes, thinking of saying something witty.

"Glad to see you two getting along" came Kaisey's voice.

Me and Blake both turned towards her. She was standing a little distance away and beside her stood Carter.

I was surprised to see him here. He didn't visit often, in fact the only time I remember was when I barged into her office unannounced. I still feel embarrassed because to thay.

He was wearing jeans with a checkered shirt. It looked like today wasn't an office day. His eyes moved from me to Blake then to me again. Realising how I was standing a bit close to Blake I stepped away.

Carter's eyes were still at me. I nodded at him, not trusting my voice. He nodded back. I don't know why we pretended like we didn't know each other in front of Kaisey. He is fine otherwise, friendly even, like last evening when we talked in the kitchen. Before I became frustrated by him for acting nice.

"Hello, I don't we have properly met." said Blake stepping forward, extending his hand forward for a handshake. "I'm Blake"

Carter didn't move, his hands still in his pocket. He just stared at Blake and then at his hand. It wasn't until Kaisey turned to look at him that he retracted his hand from his pocket and clasped it around Blake's.

"Carter" he replied curtly.

Blake nodded, looking at Carter strangely. I guess he sensed Carter's reluctance to shake hands or to be more accurate Carter's rudeness. Just like in High School.

"So what are you two up too?" Asked Kaisey.

"Me and Eva were just talking about the next article. We are doing the city library, we'll visit the place tomorrow" said Blake.

I looked up at him, tempted to ask when did I agree to go with him. Instead I looked forward and nodded. My eyes fell on Carter, he was looking somewhere between me and Blake, his eyes containing an emotion that I couldn't decipher but had seen before.

"The library is a great idea, can't wait to read the article." Said Kaisey.

I looked away from Carter and fixated my eyes on Kaisey. She was already looking at me, strangely as if she was thinking something. Panic started raising inside me, Kaisey had caught me staring at Carter. At her boyfriend. I didn't want her to get any ideas.

I looked away from her, hoping my eyes didn't gave away anything.

"Well we should get going, enjoy your drinks" she said.

I looked back up and saw them both holding hands, I stopped myself from remembering all the times Carter held my hand.

"Thankyou, you too" I replied making way for them to pass by.

Carter walked first, pulling Kaisey along with him. Her hand placed securely in his. He didn't look at me as he walked past, I stared at his back intently.

"That was strange" said Blake looking at their retreating backs too.

Carter had let go of her hand and had wrapped his arm around her shoulders.   He was saying something to her, his face relaxed. The opposite of when he is with me.

I hated this feeling. I hated how everytime I saw them together I compared them to the past us.

"What is strange?" I asked Blake looking away from them.

Blake was quite for a second, still staring at me. Then he faced me.

"Carter, boss's boyfriend, he was looking at you like......" he paused, as if thinking again about what he was going to say.

"Like.....?" I prompted.

"Like he liked you"

........................................

I was sitting in my room watching a movie. The twins and Millie had gone out to eat with Leigh, I wanted to join them but already had so much work piled up to do.

After finishing most of it I thought of relaxing myself by watching a movie. I was stressed out about meeting with Ally and Kaisey on Wednesday. Today after seeing Carter and Kaisey together and remembering the way she was looking at me, I was anxious about the hangout.

It was a relief that Leigh would be there with me. That I would not have to be alone. She knew how to handle extremely awkward and difficult situations. I just hope everything goes well.

As I was slightly starting to feel sleepy my phone ringing at my bedside table startled me. Sitting up I grabbed my phone wondering who was calling me.

It was Carter, I was surprised to see his name flash on the caller ID. Carter had never called me before. Only texted twice and that was it.

Why was he calling me?

I picked up the call, my heart suddenly becoming erratic. What was wrong with me? Why did I acted the same way I did five years ago at anything that involved Carter.

I have never been this frustrated with myself before.

"Hello" I said, my voice giving away my current state.

"You need to stay away from him"

"What?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows together.

"Blake. You need to stay away from him or have you forgotten what happened last time you went with him?"

His angry voice made me flinch, his tone that of irritation.

"Carter I am not a child, I know what is best for me. I know who to stay away from, I don't need your advise." I snapped back.

"God- Eva, why are you so stubborn. This stubborness of yours has always gotten you in trouble. Why can't you just for once listen to me?" He replied frustrated.

Anger was bubbling inside me. Why was he calling me and telling me all this as if he cared. As if I meant something to him. Does he deliberately do it to hirt me, caused it did hurt. Every single time.

I don't want him to look our for me, to help me, to be kind towards me. Cause everytime he does that, I am reminded how he wasn't mine. How I had him and had this beautiful relationship with him but now it was over. Now he was somebody else's.

And I felt guilty and disgusted by myself for thinking about someone else's boyfriend. For wanting someone else's boyfriend.

"Stop" I said, "just stop" my voice suddenly getting chocked up by tears that came out of nowhere.

"Stop looking out for me as if I mean something to you. Its unfair Carter, its unfair."

My tears were falling now and I knew he knew I was crying. I hated to be this mess infront of Carter and this was the third time I had lost myself in his presence.

"Its unfair to me and its unfair to Kaisey. You hated me remember? And disappeared from my life like you were never a part of it. YOU COMPLETELY FORGOT ME."

I closed my eyes remembering everytime I tried reaching out to Carter after he broke up with me. Everytime I went up to him to talk and was ignored.  How much it had hurted back then and still did.

"You are so good at ignoring me Carter, why can't you continue doing that?"

There was silence from his side. Not one sound uttered. For a moment I thought he had ended the call but then he spoke.

"I care.....I care for you Eva-" he said softly, his voice that of a scared vulnerable person. Like he was saying something he never would have to my face.

"You do mean something to me and I never, NEVER, hated you"

With that he hung up. I stared at the phone, trying to process what he said.

...............................

A short little treat for all of you. Hope you are all doing great.
The next update might take a few days cause a lot of work has piled up again but I promise it won't take as long as it did last time.

Comment and vote.

Love,
S. Maham Fatima

P.S: Follow my writing account if your on insta @/_mypaintedwords_