Song: Take yourself home - Troye Sivan
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Ally hugged the twins one by one while me and Carter stared at each other. My eyes not leaving his no matter how much I willed them to.

Why was he here? Why was he continually doing this to me?

"You have grown up so much" said Ally and I finally shifted my eyes away from him.

The twins stood next to her a little awkward, probably from all the years they haven't seen her. As years went by Alex and Daniel learned to be reserved.

"Its nice to see you again Ally" spoke Alex finally.

"Its nice to see you too, I missed you all" she said with a smile, ruffling Daniel's hair while saying that.

If only she knew how much he hated it.

"Who are they?" Asked Millie finally, tugging at my arm.

I looked down to see her looking up at me.

"Oh my god, is that you Millie!? You are so beautiful" said Ally walking towards us.

She sat down and opened her arms for a hug, always a confident one, Millie willingly went to her.

"How dare you forget me like that!? I was your favourite human ever!!" Said Ally tickling her a little.

Millie laughed loudly trying to get away from her. Ally still looked pale, bags under her eyes and weight loss noticable. I had hoped things were going well after that day but I guess that was not the case.

"Why are you here?" Came Daniel's sharp voice.

I looked up and saw him sending daggers to Carter through his eyes.

"We came to see Lindsey, we wanted to come visit at the hospital but Carter wasn't free." Said Ally standing up.

"How is your mom?" Asked Carter finally after standing quitely in the same spot for so long.

"Why do you care" said Daniel again, still looking at him angrily.

The twins had always been wary of Carter, even when we dated and especially Daniel. The day we broke up, Daniel had seen me collapse on the floor after he left, had hugged me and told me I deserved someone better than him.  Ever since then he had hated Carter.

"Daniel" I said with a warning tone, hoping the message that he was being rude got across.

"She is fine, the surgery was successful. The doctors are very hopefull that she will be healthy again. Thankyou for sending the flowers and shakes." I said looking up to Carter.

"That's good to know"

From the corner of my eye I saw Ally look at Carter strangely. She then turned towards me and smiled.

"I'm really glad to hear that. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you in anyway"

"Its okay, Leigh was there to help" said Millie casually.

"Leigh? Who is Leigh?" Asked Ally looking down at Millie.

"Eva's best friend. Who is he?" She replied pointing towards Carter.

Ally's eyes looked up at me at the word 'best friend'

"Why does Daniel hate him?" Millie further asked looking up at me.

"That's Eva's ex boyfriend, he broke her heart" answered Alex before I could say anything.

I wanted to disappear from the scene at that very moment. My sibling always did a great job at making me feel embarrassed. I didn't want to give Carter the satisfaction that he broke my heart.

"I hate him too" Millie said after a moment of contemplation, like she was presenting us her verdict on Carter.

"Besides he isn't even that good looking, Cole is much better. I like him more" she said looking up at me again.

A chuckle escaped from Ally, I looked up and saw a very amused look on Carter's face.

"Oh its so rude of me, please come in" I said stepping away from the door realising we were still standing outside but mostly to get away from this situation.

............................................

I finally escaped the room to get myself some water to drink. Ever since Carter and Ally cam the room had been filled with tension and awkwardness. Ally and Leigh were awkward with each other, Daniel and Alex were joined by Leigh in throwing looks at Carter and I was so conscious of Carter being in the same room with me and my family.

Carter looked so out of place in there and he was making me feel all kinds of things by being here today. He came to check up on my mom, thats something friends and boyfriends do. He was neither.

Why even after five years it was so hard to understand him? I wanted to get up and scream at his face why he was here.

Mom on the other hand was very happy to see Carter and Ally, she was chattering away oblivious of the tension and awkwardness in the room, joined occasionally by her equally talkative younger daughter. After a while though Henry engaged Carter in talks about politics and business which I was thankful for. Slowly I calmed myself down from my wired and tense state.

I opened the fridge door to get myself some cold water. This whole meet and greet had made me extremely tired. I sat on a stool, placing the bottle and glass on the counter. After gulping down the water I rested my head on the cold surface of the counter and closed my eyes.

"Your brothers still despise me"

I sat up straight after hearing Carter's voice. He was standing by the doorway, leaned against the frame.

"And Millie grew up to be quite the opposite of you" he added walking towards me.

"Yea, they've all grown up alot" I replied.

Carter pulled out the stool and sat on the opposite side of me.

"I didn't know what kind of flavour your mom preffered or was okay for her to eat so I just bought a plain cake" said Carter referring to the cake him and Ally brought with him today.

"I also didn't know what flowers or shakes she-"

"What are you doing Carter" I said cutting him off.

He looked at me for a moment confused.

"What am I doing?" He repeated my question, his attention on me.

"This!!! These sending flowers and nice texts and visiting my mom. Not to forget you telling Kaisey about my mom so I could get a leave when I chose not to tell her." I replied annoyed.

"Its what people normally do Eva" he said.

"People who are either friends or boyfriends, you are neither. Stop taking care of me, I don't need your help with anything and stop sending me these mixed signals I-"

"I am not sending you any kind of signal. Whatever your thinking, your imagining" he replied sharply.

I looked up at him and saw annoyance on his face too. I didn't know what to say. Did Carter realise I still have feelings for him? I really need to control what I say especially when it comes to him.

"I'm sorry if it bothered you, it wasn't my intention. I will make sure not to repeat this again" he said firmly standing up.

That's not what I meant. How do I make him understand what I feel. I appreciate what he did but him doing all of this reminds me of old times when we were together, makes me imagine what life would be like if we were still together.

Carter stood there for a few moments, waiting for me to say something but I didn't know what was the right thing to say.

"Am I disturbing something" came Ally's voice pulling me out of the hole that was Carter William.

Carter turned around moving away from the counter.

"No, not at all" he replied.

"Its getting late, I think we should head back" she said to him.

Carter nodded to what she said.

"I'll wait for you in the car"

I watch him walk away, stepping out of the kitchen and disappearing. I felt regret seeing his retreating body. Don't know why but I had this sudden urge to make him stay, to talk to him some more.

I haven't had this urge in a long while.

"You okay?" Asked Ally walking in.

I snapped out of my daze and nodded at her.

"Your mom looks a lot better. I'm really happy everything is going well" she said.

"Yeah, me too" I replied walking around the counter and towards Ally.

As I stepped within her reach Ally wrapped her arms around me in a hug. Surprised, it took me a few moments to hug her back.

"Don't worry too much, she will be fine soon" she whispered in my ear.

"I'm worried about you too" I stated.

Ally stiffened a little at my statement. She didn't pull away but I could tell I had made her uncomfortable by saying that. I was about to change the subject when she pulled away, looking at me with a small smile.

I relaxed a little to see she wasn't angry or uneasy.

"I wanted to talk to youabout that too. Thankyou for taking care of me that day. You really didn't have to but I'm glad you did. I wanted someone to be there with me and you made me feel a lot better"

I looked her small smile, her eyes. She really did mean what she was saying. I knew Ally's sincerity look. I was relieved to hear that, ever since I came back from her house I had been thinking if I overstepped my boundaries, if Ally and Drake wanted me there to witness that. But now I was happy that I was there to help in some way.

"Im also sorry you had to see that" she added lightly, her eyes drifting away from me as if ashamed.

"Oh no Ally, its okay. What marriage doesn't have problems?" I quickly said grabbing her hand. "Besides you can always call me when you need me, I will be there"

She finally looked up at me and smiled.

"I also want you to take care of yourself,   you don't look okay and I want that to change."

"I know, its just its been so hard recently" she said, exasperated.

"Life is hard Ally but you need to remember your a fighter who always wins in the end. Please take care of yourself and come to me when you need help" I said hoping my point got across, hoping that she feels better after this.

I really wanted Ally to be okay again and regardless of what problems she and Drake were facing I didn't want her to lose herself in the way.

Ally squeezed my hand lightly, telling me that she heard and understood me. Not trusting her voice right now. I squeezed her hand back reassuringly.

From distance we heard the sound of footsteps. For a moment I hoped it was Carter coming back but that hope shattered when Leigh stepped into the kitchen.

Ally straighten herself up, the gloss of her eyes due to unshed tears fading away quickly. It looked like she had done this numerous times before. I wonder what she had been going through when I was gone. I know she didn't deserve it and neither did Drake.

"Oh, your still here. I just came to check where Eva went" said Leigh, recognising the grey mood in the room.

"I was just about to leave" Ally said to her and then looked at me.

"Its been so long since we hung out and I wasn't here to help with your mom. Let me make up for that. Me and Kaisey are going out shopping on Wednesday, I was wondering if you'd like to join"

Irritation surfaced inside me after hearing Kaisey's name. I already despised my time spend with her in the office, I didn't want to be near her outside work hours, especially with Ally accompanying us.

"It could be like a girls day out" she added.

I didn't want to say no to Ally, she looked at me hopefully and I wanted to make her feel better in any way I could.  But hanging out with Kaisey was the least thing I wanted to do right now.

"Can I come along" voiced Leigh from the door.

Ally hesitantly looked at her, thinking about what to say.

"Uh....yea. Sure, the more the merrier" she said reluctantly.

"Great! me and Eva will meet you there then" said Leigh.

I knew it was going to be one hell of an awakward meet up but I was glad to have Leigh next to me while I was there.

...........................................

"Thankyou for stepping and coming with me although I know thats the last thing you want to do" I said to Leigh as we walked side by side.

We were strolling in the garden. After days being crammed up in the hospital room it was nice to get some fresh air. The moon was casting its light above us,  making the dark seem less scary. Everyone had gone to sleep, I knew I should too since I had work tomorrow but I just wanted to spend time with Leigh for a while.

"You do know that you can say no to people right? You don't have to do things that make you uneasy just for the sake of courtesy" she said kicking the grass with her feet.

"I know, its just, Ally has been going through alot lately. I just want to make her feel better in any way I can"

"Eva, you are going through a lot too." Pointed Ally, giving me a side glance.

"Stop ruining my mom's garden, she loves it" I said, trying to change the subject.

After meeting Ally I have realised that Leigh wasn't a fan of her.

"God, I hate it when you try to change subject in such an obvious way" she commented but stopped kicking the grass.

I laughed at what she said. We walked in the garden for a while, silence engulfing us like a comfortable garden. I had missed Leigh a lot and it was nice to spend some time with her.

Ever since I came back, I had absolutely no one to talk to, to share silence with. But now with Leigh here, I felt a lot better.

"Soooooo, what's up with Carter?" Said Leigh casually although I knew she was dying to ask me that ever since the flowers and shakes came.

"Nothing is up" I replied nonchalantly.

Leigh stopped in her tracks once I realized that I stopped too and turned back to look at her.

"You're still in love with him" she stated.

I gaped at her with wide eyes.

"I....what!? What did you say?" I stuttered.

"Its pretty obvious"

"What!? No!? Okay? I am not in love with him!!!" I replied irritated at being caught.

I never wanted anyone to know that, me still being in love with Carter was supposed to be my ugly hidden secret. That's why I didn't tell this to Leigh in the first place. I was ashamed of being in love with him after all these years. After what he did and what happened between us.

"Its okay Eva, its hard to get over your first love. Your not feeling anything wrong" Leigh said sympathetically, stepping towards me.

"Besides, he is also still very much in love with you too"

My heart started beating fast at what she said. There was absolutely no way Carter still loved me.

"That is absurd!! Do you know how ridiculous you sound? Also, he has a girlfriend that he loves very much"

With saying that I turned away and continued my walk. Carter can't still love me because he had Kaisey now. He would never have dated anyone if he was still in love with me. He would have at least contacted me once in those five years apart if he was still in love with me.

The whole idea seemed stupid albeit being likeable. I shook my head a little to get rid of it, I was not dwelling on this thought cause it will get me no where.

Leigh didn't say anything else just quitely joined me in the walk.

..................................

I was in the office, typing at my laptop when the door to the workplace burst open. Kaisey walked in wearing a black dress, a briefcase in her hand. A few of the employees got up to greet her, she greeted them back with that beautiful smile of hers.

I looked away getting back to my work. My eyes shifted to Blake's area, his desk filled with scattered papers and files. He wasn't here yet, very few people were since it was still early.

A presence made me turn towards my right. Kaisey stood next to me, her tied in a clip behind her back.

"Hey" she said.

"Hi" I replied.

I could sense the increased awkwardness between us caused by our last talks. I knew she could sense it too.

"How's your mother now" she asked, as if only now remembering why she came here.

"She is better, the surgery was successful." I replied.

She nodded at what I said.

"That's good to know"

She paused for a moment like she wanted to say something. I could see the reluctance in her.

"Listen, I'm sorry about last time. I wasn't accusing you of anything, I....I was just really stressed that day and I think it came out unintentionally at you. I didn't mean that"

"Its okay, no worries. Thankyou for understanding and giving me the leave." I replied. 

She nodded a little relieved that I was okay with her. I was relieved that she was okay with me too. Regarless of my feelings towards her, she was my boss and I cannot afford friction with her.

"You can continue your work now, its good to have you back. Oh, also before I forget, we are having our dinner on Saturday, I hope to see you there"

I nodded to what she said, Kaisey turned around and left after that. Not sparing another moment to think about her I got back to my work.

..................................

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Love,
S. Maham Fatima.