Song: I dont wanna see you with her - Maria Mena
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I was sitting in my station, setting my things in order so I can start working. It was nine in the morning and most of the people were already here, including Kaisey, who in fact was the first one to  come. I didn't get to see her because she was in her office and I didn't plan on seeing her until needed either.

I met a few of my colleagues, they seemed like nice people, most of them were older than me. Middle aged and more experienced. I tried not to get too intimidated by that.

After setting up my workplace, my eyes glanced at Blake's desk, as if right on cue the door to the office opened and Blake stepped in. He was wearing a stripped white and black shirt with black jeans, his bag on his shoulders the same way it was yesterday.

He greeted everyone in loud voice, too loud for an office and moved towards his desk. I didn't look his way to avoid getting accused of staring again.

"Stop pretending like I'm not sitting next to you." Said Blake casually, fiddling with his bag.

I turned to him, ready to give him a snarky remark but he spoke again.

"So, have you thought about the article?"

I didn't say anything for a moment, wondering if I should let the comment he passed before slide or say something.

"Yes, I have" I replied, deciding to let it go.

Taking out a few pages from my file, I passed them to Blake.

"I was thinking we could writing about this tree in the city park. It has been there for more than five hundred years, its the oldest tree in the city and-"

"Boring" remarked Blake, his eyes scanning the pages.

"Excuse me?"

"Excused. We possibly can't write a whole damn article about a stupid tree. It needs something else, something interesting. Like the city Museum."

I looked at him for a moment, city museum was not a bad idea but for the first article I wanted it to be something different, something with meaning.

"We are going to write about buildings all the time. This tree is the oldest thing in our city-"

"I'm not arguing with you anymore-" said Blake, giving me my pages back.

He stood up and started walking, not understanding what he was doing I looked away from him and grabbed my file to put back the pages.

"Well, are you coming or not?" Came Blake's voice from down the row.

"Coming where?" I asked.

"To boss, she'll decided what we write about. The tree or the museum."

I didn't wanted to go to Kaisey to discuss this. I wanted to stay away from her as much as possible.

"We can sort this out ourselves, we don't have to disturb her over this-"

"Its quite obvious that we can't reach a consensus, we have different ideas so its better if we ask her to sort this out. Besides she has to go through this anyway before we can start working.  Now will you please come-"

"Stop cutting my sentences" I said in an irritated loud voice.

I could feel some of the heads turn towards us, my cheeks felt hot and I wished I wasn't becoming a tomato. Blake didn't say anything, he turned around and started walking towards Kaisey's office, a small smirk on his face.

After a few moments of contemplation I followed him, wondering if I will quit my job on just the second day of work. As I neared the office I saw Blake already standing there, with his hand he gestured me to go in first. Rolling my eyes at him and feeling completely irritated by him I stepped forward and pushed the door open.

It was a little later I realized that I should have knocked first. Kaisey was sitting on the her desk while Carter stood in front of her. He was leaned in towards her, his hands resting on either side of the desk. Both of them had smiles on their faces and it seemed like Carter was in the middle of saying something.

Their eyes shifted to us, Carter stood up straight, his smile gone. I cursed myself for being this stupid. How could I enter a boss's office without knocking? Without asking permission. It looked so bad on my resume and embarrassed me infront of everyone.

"I'm so sorry, I should have knocked before coming in. Sorry for disturbing we'll come back later" I said, trying my best not to stutter, trying my best not to look at Carter.

"Oh no, its totally fine, come on in" said Kaisey, standing up.

"Aaa.... no, no, no, its fine we can come back later" I said, turning around to walk out, not wanting to stay in the room a moment longer.

Before I could walk out though, Blake grabbed me by my elbow and pulled me back in.

"We don't have time" he said looking at me sternly. "And I don't think boss will mind if we take few of her minutes" he further added, looking at Kaisey with a smile.

My eyes shifted to Carter and saw he was looking at my arm that Blake was holding. I wriggled myself free from his grasp.

Does this guy really has no idea of limits?

"Of course, tell me what's up?" Asked Kaisey with a smile.

"We have two ideas about what to write for the article and we need your help to choose one. Eva would you like to tell what your idea is?" Said Blake facing me.

I gave him a glare and looked back upfront.

"I was thinking of writing about 'Butter Berrie' the tree in the city park which is more than five hundred years old and is in fact the oldest thing in this city-"

"Which is quite boring, people would like to read about something interesting, a place they can actually visit with their families, like the city museum" said Blake cutting me.

I had the sudden urge to hit him.

"We will be writing about buildings all the time. Since its the first edition of our magazine I was thinking we could start with something that has meaning. A tree represents life and this will represent the start of our-"

"No one is going to get the metaphorical meaning of a tree. People here work nine to five, at the end of the day they want some light reading and a place to take their kids to on weekend-"

"Stop cutting me-"

"I'm not cutting you, I am simply stating flaws in your argument."

"No, your just cutting me so I don't get to explain my point"

"Your point isn't good enough to be explained"

"I'll get going" interrupted the loud voice of Carter.

I had forgotten he was still here, that we were standing in Kaisey's office. I was too riled up by Blake to notice my surroundings.

"Okay, I'll see you in the evening" replied Kaisey turning towards him.

She walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek. I looked away, my eyes moving to the table on the right side. There was a fresh new bouquet there now, different than the one yesterday. I looked away from the flowers too.

"Don't overwork and take care" I heard Carter say to her, there was a small smile on his face.

I stepped away from his way as he walked out of the door.

"Okay guys, I like both of yours ideas but we have to choose one." said Kaisey walking over to her chair and sitting down.

Blake went ahead and sat down on one of the two chairs placed in front of Kaisey's desk. I followed after him, Carter still in my mind.

"Which one do you pick?" Asked Blake straight away.

Kaisey inhaled a deep breath then looked straight ahead at us. Her stare not wavering a bit. I was amazed to see this side of her, she looked like a confident and strong woman who knew what she was doing.

Quite unlike me.

"I love the meaning of the tree Eva and I think it will be an interesting article. I'm sure most people in our city don't even know how old this tree is or how this is the oldest thing in our city...."

She paused for a moment before speaking again.

"But I think for the first edition we should go with the museum."

I felt movement beside me but didn't glance at Blake.

"Blake is right, its the first issue, people would like to see places they can visit and museum is a great place to go. Plus you can get to write more about it, just like the tree there are many antiques in the museum that people have no idea about. The history and importance....." 

I felt a sudden surge of anger towards her. All I could think was that she was doing it on purpose. She didn't wanted to do my idea because I was Carter ex girlfriend. There was no other explanation about this. She didn't even take a moment to think it through.

"But for the second week we can write about the tree" she added quickly.

I looked up at her and nodded.

"Yea okay, I understand. I'll get back to work then"

I waited for her to say okay and then got up to leave. I walked out of the office, hearing Blake's footsteps behind me.

"Oh my God," I heard Blake say from behind as we walked back to our desks.

I didn't pay him any attention.

"You have a crush on boss's boyfriend"

I swiped around and looked at him.

"What?"

"It was very obvious, don't even try to deny it" he replied, pointing his finger at me.

"I don't have a crush on boss's boyfriend. Do you know how absurd that sounds? Honestly, what is wrong with you?" I snapped back.

"Don't develop it or you'll get fired. Not that I care but you will get fired. Besides its not nice to break up people." Said Blake and passed by me.

I stood there in my spot, my mind turning like an ancient clock's needles.

.....................................

"Soooo.....I have a surprise for you" I said to mom, standing in the doorway of her room.

She looked up from the book she was reading and raised her eyebrow.

"What?"

"Your three least favourite children are coming next Wednesday!!" I said with a big smile, walking towards her.

"Seriously!?" Said mom sitting up.

"Yes!!! They wanted to be with you when you have the surgery"

I sat down next to her on the bed, holding her hand. She had weakened in the few months but mentally she was getting better I could feel it. There was a difference in her from when I arrived to now.

"I'm going to be fine Eva, don't worry too much about me" she said gently.

"I know mom, I know" I replied resting my head on her lap.

The past few days had been good for me. Working even with someone as annoying as Blake has been a good distraction from negative thinking.

"Before I was sure this was the end and I didn't mind it that much. But now I realise how much I will miss if I go away now. I have to see all of yours dreams come true..."

I sat up and looked at her.

"I have to see you all get married and have kids. And I have to make so many new memories with Henry"

"Exactly mom, that's why you can't leave us. You will be fine again soon" I said holding her hand and kissing it.

After spending a little more time with mom and Henry, I went back to my bed.  I layed down on my bed with a huff. I closed my eyes to fall asleep but couldn't.

My mind drifted back to Carter. To him and Kaisey standing so close together, to his smile that is only there when Kaisey is around and vanishes when I come in his view. To the kiss Kaisey gave him.

I wondered if he would have sent me flowers on my first day of work. Came to visit me on my second day. I wondered for the first time after a long time what life with Carter would have been after high school, in adult life.

I opened my eyes as I realised how much I hated his indifference, his ignorance, him not even looking me in the eye. Did he really not feel anything when he saw me.

And I despised Kaisey for getting his attention, his smiles.

I sat up straight after this thought, fear crawling up my heart. My body shivered as another thought invaded my mind.

It couldn't be can it?

I can't still possibly be in love with Carter?

..........................................

I was strolling in the park, observing a little girl swinging on the swings. She reminded me of Millie, how I used to bring the twins and Millie to play in this same park.

I was on my way to the pond, the swan food in my bag. I could see the grill from where I was standing and as I walked a few steps further I spotted Carter standing near the railing. He was wearing a black dress shirt with jeans.

I stopped where I was, thinking of turning around and leaving. But I was too late. Carter had turned his head in my direction and spotted me. His unreadable eyes staring at me.

I thought of ignoring him and leaving but instead found my feet carry me towards him. He didn't look away once.

"Hey" I said when I was near him.

"Hi. You here to feed the swans" he said, nodding towards the birds.

"Yeah, I had not come here in a while"

"Here" said Carter giving me the food.

I took the packet in my hand and sprinkled the bits in the pond, just like how Carter had told me to do the first time we were here.

There were already a few swans gathered around.

"How's your mom" asked Carter, standing next to me, placing his elbows on the railing as he looked down on the swans.

"She's fine. Her surgery is next friday. Well see after that" I replied, giving more food to the swans.

"The surgery will be successful and she will be healthy again. Don't worry too much"

My mind drifted back to yesterday, when Carter had told Kaisey to take care. Did he mean it the same way he meant that. I tried to remember his tune then, was it different than the one he used now. Did Kaisey get her special one like I once got mine.

Again I felt a dislike towards Kaisey.

"I thought your idea was great" said Carter looking at me.

"What?" I said, my mind still stuck in my thoughts.

"About the tree. Your idea was beautiful" replied Carter and then turned his face to the front.

I felt my cheeks heat up and tried to stop that by distracting myself by sprinkling more food.

"Thankyou" I said, trying my best stable voice.

Suddenly then I remembered how Kaisey had rejected my idea. My anger on her for that coming back.

"But its not going to be published" I added a little later.

"What do you mean?" Said Carter looking at me again.

"Your girlfriend thought the other idea was better"

I was surprised by the anger and despise in my voice that was too visible. And judging by Carter's expression he caught them too.

"Kaisey is not a mean person Eva, she wouldn't reject your idea just because its you" said Carter, turning completely towards me.

"You don't know that" I replied sharply, feeling angry at him too.

"I do know that cause I know her. She is very dedicated and serious when it comes to work and she isn't the average getting jealous of boyfriend's ex-girlfriend type. And also, it would be very nice if you could stop hating on her just because she is my girlfriend. She is actually a very kind human being" He said frustrated.

"What?" I replied, completely offended by what Carter said.

"I'm not hating on her, I don't need to hate on her because of you and stop telling how nice she is. I have already heard that enough. I only saying that because she didn't even take a minute to think about her decision-"

"Well, maybe Eva your idea wasn't good enough-" snapped Carter, his voice louder than before.

I stared at his faced, startled by his behaviour. After a few seconds I placed the packet of food I was holding on the ground next to his shoes and walk away.

'You don't love him Eva, you hate him' I said to myself.

.......................................

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Love,
S. Maham Fatima