"I wish you would tell me what happened~"

    "Don't start, Taehyung,"

Taehyung sighs, sitting down beside Jeongguk on their bed and taking his hand. His eyes traveling over his face to try and read his expression.

    "I'm not high right now," Jeongguk says when he feels his eyes on him.

    "I believe you," Taehyung says. "I'm just worried about you."

    "You're always worried," Jeongguk says, he hears how insensitive he sounds but he can't bring himself to care.

    "I can't help it," Taehyung says looking down at their hands. "I guess it's cause I love you so much."

    "I love you too," Jeongguk says, but he doesn't feel connected to the sentence like he usually does. Instead repeating it feels like a chore.

Like, I promise I love you can you please stop saying it now?

    "I think I'm gonna start going to work again soon," He says, he immediately feels Taehyung tense at the mention of him leaving the apartment. "I feel like I'm dying being stuck in here everyday."

    "Do you think that's a good idea?" Taehyung asks, obviously opposed to the idea.

"Yeah," Jeongguk says. "If Yoongi's going to be babysitting me everyday you leave I might as well make it easier on him by going to work."

Taehyung nods, falling silent in thought for a moment. "I'll get you some ice for your neck." He says before standing and leaving the room.

Jeongguk sighs, bringing his hand up to touch the sensitive bruises on his neck.

He wanted to do something that made him feel like he was getting back on track. Sitting at home all day in a constant battle with his thoughts wasn't helping anything.

He felt like going back to work would be good for him.

~

"Where were you?"

Jeongguk sighs as he closes the front door, walking past Taehyung to get to the bedroom.

"Jeongguk," He says following him down the hall. "Where the hell were you all day?"

"I'm not in the mood, Taehyung," Jeongguk says sitting down on the bed with his back to him.

"I honestly don't care what you're in the mood for right now," Taehyung says crossing his arms. "Where were you? Yoongi said you didn't show up at the clinic at all today."

"I'm so sick of you and Yoongi talking about me behind my fucking back," Jeongguk says shaking his head. "It's old at this point."

"Are you high?" Taehyung asks.

"Leave me alone, Taehyung," Jeongguk snaps. "Just leave me the fuck alone, alright?"

"Answer me, Jeongguk~"

"If you don't leave me alone, Taehyung, I swear to god I'm gonna leave right now and you'll never hear from me again," Jeongguk threatens. "I swear to god."

"Where were you?" Taehyung asks again.

"I'm leaving," Jeongguk says standing, grabbing his backpack and throwing it over his shoulder.

"Jeongguk, please, I'm just worried about you," Taehyung says trying to stop him.

"Get out of my way, Taehyung," Jeongguk says when he doesn't move away from the door.

"Please don't leave, Gguk," Taehyung says. "I don't want you to leave~"

"Don't make me move you, Taehyung, come on," Jeongguk says rolling his eyes in aggravation. "Get the hell out my way, what's the matter with you?"

"I can't let you leave~"

"Move," Jeongguk says forcing himself past Taehyung, pushing him out of the way as he storms off.

"Why are you being like this?" Taehyung asks following him down the hall. "Can you just relax and talk to me, please?"

"You're literally fucking suffocating me, Taehyung," Jeongguk shouts, stopping abruptly and facing him. "Leave me the hell alone for once!"

Taehyung falls silent, looking up at Jeongguk with tears in his eyes.

"I don't care if you fucking cry, you're always fucking crying," Jeongguk spits before he turns to leave the apartment.

    "I can't let you leave, Jeongguk," Taehyung says grabbing his arm. "Please, I'm begging you, don't do this to me~"

Jeongguk snatches his arm away, facing Taehyung with a harsh look in his eyes. "I dare you to grab me like that again, Taehyung, I fucking dare you. Do it!"

    "I'm trying to help you," Taehyung says, stepping back each time Jeongguk takes a step towards him.

    "You wanna help me?" Jeongguk asks, walking towards him until he's backed against the wall. "You can't help me, Taehyung. How the fuck could someone as fucked up as you help me? You can't even help your-fucking-self."

    "I know this isn't you, Gguk," Taehyung says, his voice barely above a whisper.

    "You don't know shit about me," Jeongguk spits. "You go to one AA meeting and you think you can save the fucking world or something? You weren't shit before those stupid meetings and you aren't shit now. You're just a fucked up person getting a free ride through life. You could die tomorrow and the world would just keep spinning, you know that right? You act like the entire fucking universe revolves around you, but it doesn't~"

    "Stop~"

    "Why? Do you not recognize me, Taehyung?" Jeongguk asks, laughing shortly as he watches the tears fall down Taehyung's face. "And now you want cry, jesus-fucking-christ," he sighs turning and walking away.

    "Where are you going?" Taehyung asks, biting his lip to hide the tremble in it.

    "Somewhere you aren't," Jeongguk says. "Somewhere I can fucking breathe without you looking at me like some fucking basket case."

    "You're sick, Jeongguk," Taehyung says, he knew there was no getting through to him anymore, he just couldn't stop trying.

    "Look in the mirror, Taehyung," Jeongguk says looking at him with an insensitive smile. "When you do, tell me what you see. And after that, tell me what gives you the right to tell me how to live my fucking life. If anything, Taehyung, you're the sick one. I didn't try to keep my pedophile father out of prison, that was you."

Taehyung shakes his head as he cries silently, watching Jeongguk leave while his heart is hammering against his rib cage. He walks to the living room and sits down.

He didn't know what to do anymore.

~

Taehyung isn't sure what time it is when he hears the front door open, he just knows it's been hours since Jeongguk left.

He doesn't move from his spot in his bed, keeping his back to the door even when he hears Jeongguk shuffling inside.

"Taehyung?" He says, Taehyung can immediately hear a twinge in his voice and he knows where he's been now. "Are you awake?"

"...Yeah," Taehyung says lowly. He feels the bed dip as Jeongguk sits down.

"Tae, y'know, I'm sorry about what happened earlier," He sighs. "I didn't mean anything I said earlier, you gotta know that. I was just upset, I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm sorry."

"I don't think it's okay, Gguk," Taehyung says, his voice barely above a whisper.

"...Do you want me to leave?" Jeongguk asks, his voice becoming distant.

"No," Taehyung answers, closing his eyes as a tear slips down the bridge of his nose. "I want you to stay...but I don't think you should."

    "Hm...okay," Jeongguk sighs, falling silent for a moment. "I guess I'm gonna go then."

Taehyung holds his breath as Jeongguk stands up from the bed, not releasing it until he hears the front door close.

He didn't want him to go, but he didn't want to be around him while he was like that.

He hated himself for sending him away, but he knew he'd hate himself more if he continued to comfort and reassure Jeongguk after he made bad decisions.

~

    "I thought that things were starting to get good again. After those two weeks, I thought he was finally starting to get back to himself...but things are bad again. This time, for some reason, it feels like things are worse. Because, he left four days ago and I have no idea where he is, or what he's doing. He told me, on the day he left, that I was never going to see him again. But I just don't want to believe that. So...everyday I tell myself that he'll come back, and that he'll get better again...but I'm starting to think that this is how it will always be. A-And I'm scared...because I don't think I'm strong enough to keep putting myself through this over and over again..."

    "Thank you for sharing, Taehyung."