"344, 345, 346, 347..."

Jeongguk stares at the clock on the wall, counting each time the second hand tics. He felt restless, but he didn't know what to do about it.

He tried watching tv, he tried eating, he tried listening to music. Nothing was making that feeling go away. He contemplates calling Yoongi but he doesn't want him worry. He's worried him and Taehyung enough.

"409, 410, 411, 412..." He whispers to himself. He was trying to see how many seconds it would take for Taehyung to walk through the door. He had only been gone for two hours, he was working a five hour shift. He said he'd be back early so technically he's made it half way through. "418, 419, 420, 421, 422~"

His phone vibrates against the coffee table, a message from Taehyung showing up on the screen. Are you okay?

He looks down at the message, was he okay? He knew he wasn't. Can you please come back|

Can you please come ba|
Can you please com|
Can you please|
Can you|
Can yo|
Can|
|

I'm okay, I promise :)

~

Taehyung rushes up the stairs to his apartment, punching in the code anxiously before walking inside. "Jeongguk?"

He doesn't hear anything back, walking to the room and finding the bed empty. His heart hammers against his chest as he walks into the bathroom and finds it empty as well.

    "No," He breathes, pulling his phone out of his pocket to call him, almost heaving as he dials the number.

    "Taehyung," Jeongguk's voice says, startling Taehyung.

He looks in the direction of the closet walking over and pulling the door open to find Jeongguk sitting on the ground with his knees pulled to his chest.

    "Oh my god, Jeongguk," Taehyung says dropping to his knees and pulling him into his arms. "You scared me to death."

Jeongguk hugs him back, holding on to him and laying his head in the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry."

    "Why are you in here?" Taehyung says pulling away away, brushing Jeongguk's hair out of his face and finding tears welling in his eyes. "Come out of here, okay?"

Jeongguk nods standing with him before pulling him back into a hug. "I'm sorry."

    "It's okay," Taehyung says, sighing as he hugs him back. "You're okay."

    "I don't think I am," Jeongguk says brokenly. "I don't think I know how to be okay."

Taehyung pulls away from the hug, taking Jeongguk's face in his hands and thumbing away his tears. "You don't have to know how, Jeongguk, you just have to try. As long as you try you'll be fine."

Jeongguk nods, looking down as more tears fall down his face. "I love you, Taehyung."

    "I love you too," Taehyung says. "I love you so much, okay?"

    "Okay," Jeongguk nods.

Taehyung doesn't say anything else, he just hugs Jeongguk again. Holding him until he pulls away first.

Taehyung didn't know what to do, or what to say. All he knew to do is be there for Jeongguk as much as he will allow him to be.

All he knew to do was love Jeongguk for as long as he would allow him to.

~

Yoongi watches Jeongguk trace patterns into the table as he sits across from him at a diner. Taehyung was working and he asked Yoongi to keep Jeongguk occupied until he got off.

    "Why don't you want to eat anything?" Yoongi asks making Jeongguk look up at him.

    "Because I don't want to be here," He says before looking back down, resting his head on his fist. "I know Taehyung made you come get me, I'm not a fucking idiot."

    "He didn't make me do anything~"

    "I don't need a fucking babysitter, Yoongi,"

Yoongi rolls his eyes a little. "That explains why he found you hiding in a closet when he got home yesterday."

    "Are you kidding me?" Jeongguk asks, looking up at him with a hurt expression. "I can't tell if you're here to help me or hurt me, Yoongi."

    "You know I'm not here to hurt you," Yoongi says. "I'm here because I don't think you should be alone either."

    "I can't believe you took time out of your busy schedule to come sit with me at a diner for five hours, I'm honored, really," Jeongguk says looking down again.

    "Doyun wants you to meet him at the clinic at some point," Yoongi says. "I've been telling you~"

    "I know you've been telling me," Jeongguk says. "I'm sorry, Doyun has been the last person on my mind for the past few days."

    "Well you have to go," Yoongi says. "He's threatening to not keep me around anymore."

    "Yeah, well maybe you shouldn't be," Jeongguk says, purposefully trying to hurt Yoongi's feelings.

    "What are you mad at me about, huh?" Yoongi asks narrowing his eyes. "You relapsed, not me~"

    "Yeah, I did, Yoongi," Jeongguk says looking up, lowering his voice to avoid yelling. "Haven't you given me enough shit about it?"

    "No, I haven't," Yoongi says. "I've been trying to get you help and you keep pushing back~"

    "I've been sober for two weeks now, man, what else do you want from me?" Jeongguk asks. "What else can I do?"

    "You can do something that'll make me believe that you won't use again the second you're alone," Yoongi says. "You can let Doyun put you in a rehab and get actual help."

    "You wanna know what Doyun did the last time he 'put me in a rehab?'" Jeongguk asks. "He locked me in his fucking basement for four weeks, and he didn't let me leave for anything."

    "What?" Yoongi asks in confusion.

    "You don't fucking know everything, Yoongi," Jeongguk says. "You don't know everything because I don't tell you everything. So can you please stop acting like Doyun just wants what's best for me, because he doesn't. He just wants to control me, that's all he wants."

Yoongi falls silent, glancing off in thought. "Why wouldn't you tell me that?"

    "Because I was nineteen and I thought I deserved it," Jeongguk says sitting back in his seat, staring down at the table. "Whatever help Doyun's offering I don't want it. I don't care if he takes everything away."

    "What about me, Jeongguk?"

    "What about me, Yoongi?"

Yoongi shakes his head, if he lost everything he has now he'd have nothing. He'd go back to being who he was before.

    "I want to get out of here," Jeongguk says looking around the restaurant.

    "Taehyung's meeting us here in a couple hours," Yoongi says checking the time on his phone.

    "If you don't take me home I'll walk, Yoongi," Jeongguk says standing. "I'm not kidding."

    "Can you please just sit down and eat something?" Yoongi sighs. "Taehyung's going to be here in less than two hours."

    "I don't want to be here anymore, Yoongi," Jeongguk says turning and walking out of the diner.

Yoongi sits there for a moment before gathering his things and following Jeongguk out. He finds him already waiting by his car.

    "If Doyun gets rid of me, Jeongguk," He starts, stopping in front of him. "I'll lose everything. I won't have anything."

    "You know I won't let him do that," Jeongguk says without looking at him. "I don't even know why you take him seriously anymore."

Yoongi sighs, unlocking the car as he walks around to the drivers door.

Even if Jeongguk didn't take Doyun's threats seriously, he did.

And it scared him to think he could lose everything at any moment.