Taehyung's hands tremble as he walks into the apartment. He closes the door behind himself as Jeongguk walks down the hall with a hard expression on his face.

    "Where were you?" He asks, his tone already harsh.

Taehyung doesn't bother stalling, taking the pill bottle out of his pocket and holding it up.  He watches Jeongguk's jaw clench as he sits it down on the coffee table.

    "You're going through my shit again?" He asks, his jaw tense as he crosses him arms.

    "Jeongguk," Taehyung starts, his voice cracking.

    "Don't start, Taehyung," Jeongguk sighs, rubbing his eyes. "Don't start fucking crying."

Taehyung sighs, swallowing his tears. "I don't understand, Jeongguk. I just don't understand."

    "Understand what?" Jeongguk asks looking at him. "You went through my stuff again after I told you not to do that."

    "What is it?" Taehyung asks, trying his best not to cry. "Please, Jeongguk, just tell me what it is. So I know what to do."

    "You can't do anything, Taehyung," Jeongguk says shaking his head, sitting down on the couch and staring at the bottle as his leg bounces anxiously. "There's nothing for you to do."

Taehyung walks over to the couch, sitting down beside him. "Jeongguk," he says again. "Please, baby, please just tell me. So I know what to do. Please?"

    "Don't, Taehyung," Jeongguk says again when he hears the tremble in his voice. "I can't take you crying because of me."

    "Please?" Taehyung begs, reaching out and taking Jeongguk's face in his hands. "Please, Jeongguk?"

Jeongguk clenches his jaw harder as tears form in his own eyes. "You don't understand how much you're making me hate myself right now."

    "I love you, Jeongguk," Taehyung says through his tears, catching Jeongguk's with the pads of his thumb. "I just love you, okay, and I want to help you. I can't help you if you don't tell me what it is."

Jeongguk sighs, closing his eyes as more tears fall down his face. "I-It's, uhm..." he hesitates for a another moment. "Oxycodone."

Taehyung nods, forcing himself not to break down. "Okay," he says, pulling Jeongguk into his arms, letting him lay his head in the crook of his neck. "We're gonna get this all straightened out, okay?"

    "You don't understand, Taehyung," Jeongguk cries softly. "It's the only way I can feel happy."

    "That's not true, Gguk," Taehyung says holding him closer. "You're just sick right now, that's all. You'll feel happy again."

Jeongguk lets Taehyung hold him as they cry together, but they are crying for two completely different reasons.

Taehyung was crying because he was worried and because he wanted Jeongguk to be alright.

Jeongguk was crying because he knew that this was the beginning of an endless loop of disappointing Taehyung over and over again.

He didn't want to stop, and he knew himself well enough to know that if he didn't want to he wouldn't.

He was just sorry Taehyung was being dragged into his bullshit.

~

    "Did you call Doyun?"

    "No,"

Jeongguk nods, relief flooding through him. He was so worried that Yoongi had called Doyun the minute he heard he relapsed.

    "Are you on something right now?" Yoongi asks, even though it's obvious that he is.

    "Yeah," Jeongguk says, there was not point in lying—Yoongi already knew. "I'm sorry~"

    "No you aren't," Yoongi says looking away from him. "Do you know what this means for us, Jeongguk? For me?"

    "I won't let him hurt you~"

    "We're going to lose our jobs,"

Jeongguk sighs, looking down at his hands. "I'm sorry..."

Yoongi walks over and sits down next to him on his bed. "When did you relapse?"

    "Couple weeks ago," Jeongguk says. "On cocaine."

    "Why didn't you call me?" Yoongi asks.

    "Last time I came to you you sent me away," Jeongguk says picking at his nails. "Didn't want to bother you..."

    "You know I'd never send you away if you needed me to talk you down, Jeongguk," Yoongi says. "Regardless of all the shit with Jimin, you come before any of that. You know that."

    "You still sent me away," Jeongguk says looking up at him. "I came to you and you sent me away."

    "I didn't know that's what you came for," Yoongi says, hurt shining behind his eyes. "You should've told me. Don't pull that guilt-tripping shit out on me, Jeongguk."

Jeongguk looks away. "I'm sorry."

    "What are we gonna do?" Yoongi asks. "Doyun can send you to rehab or we can do this on our own."

    "I don't want to go to rehab," Jeongguk says looking off with a bored expression.

    "Okay," Yoongi says. "Cold turkey then?"

    "No, hyung," Jeongguk says looking down at his hands. "I don't wanna do anything."

    "You have to~"

    "I don't want to disappoint you, or Taehyung," Jeongguk says. "But I can't help it anymore, hyung."

    "Help what?" Yoongi asks.

    "This is the only way I can feel good," Jeongguk says looking up at him. "I can't help it. It's like my brain doesn't work right when I'm sober. A-And I'm, like, scared because I don't think I can stop this time."

    "Yes you can," Yoongi says, his eyes glossing over with tears. "Don't say that, Jeongguk, because you can. You did it before."

    "It was too hard before~"

    "But you did it, because you're strong. And you're strong enough to do it again."

Jeongguk shakes his head, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "I think I'm gone, hyung."

    "No," Yoongi chokes as his emotions overcome him. "You aren't. Okay? You're fine, I'm gonna make sure you're fine."

    "You were right, Yoongi," Jeongguk says standing. "I'm too selfish, I'm too unpredictable~"

"No, Jeongguk," Yoongi says stepping in front of him. "You're fine, okay? We're gonna fix this~"

"I'm gonna kill myself trying to get happy," Jeongguk says looking down at him, tears welling in his blank eyes. "I don't want to bring you down with me, Yoongi."

    "Don't say that," Yoongi says, looking up at him desperately.

    "Just let me go, okay?" Jeongguk says trying to walk away, Yoongi holding onto his arm. "Please, hyung. Don't make me make you let me go."

    "I'm not just going to stop trying, Jeongguk," Yoongi says. "I love you, Taehyung loves you. Let us help you, Gguk, come on."

    "Come on, Yoongi, please," Jeongguk says, his voice cracking. "Please let me go."

Yoongi let's go of his arm, letting him walk away. "I'm not giving up on you, Jeongguk. I don't care what happens, do you hear me?"

Jeongguk ignores him as he rushes out of the clinic, tears blurring his vision.

~

Taehyung watches Jeongguk from where he stands in the kitchen. Watching him as he nods off on the couch.

He thought Jeongguk would get better after he found out, but he just got worse.

Taehyung realizes that Jeongguk no longer had to hide his drug use, the two people he was trying to hide it from knew already.

Taehyung had gone through all his stuff, getting rid of anything he found mixed in his clothes and hidden in his shoes. He made him promise to keep the drugs out of the apartment, but he knew he couldn't trust anything Jeongguk said.

    "You have to go to rehab, Jeongguk," Taehyung says from the kitchen. "There's no other option."

    "I can't..." Jeongguk mumbles, looking over at him with heavy eyes. "Don't make me, Tae...please don't make me."

    "If you continue on like this, Jeongguk, we can't be together," Taehyung says, hoping to scare him into getting treatment. "I can't just stay and watch you kill yourself. I love you too much to do that."

    "If you love me...you won't make me choose," Jeongguk says, his brows drawing together. "Don't make me choose, Taehyung. I need you...you know I need you."

    "If you love me, you'll do the right thing for yourself," Taehyung says walking out of the kitchen and into the bedroom, shutting the door behind himself before lying down.

He isn't sure how long he lays there before the door opens and he hears Jeongguk shuffling inside. The bed dips under his weight as he lies down, putting his arm around Taehyung.

    "I wanna do the right thing, Tae," He whispers. "I really do."

Taehyung closes his eyes, maybe Jeongguk was telling the truth. Maybe he really did want to do the right thing.

He just wouldn't.