"What's going on?"

    "I messed up,"

Doyun sighs, rubbing his eyes tiredly as he lets Jeongguk in, closing the door behind him.

    "What the fuck do you mean you messed up?" He asks, forcing his eyes open to look at the younger—noticing the tears in his eyes for the first time. "What happened, baby?"

    "S-Seonho came to see me," Jeongguk forces himself to say, his hands trembling as he waits for Doyun's reaction.

    "What?" He asks, his tone stone cold.

    "He came to the clinic a-and he gave me this," Jeongguk says handing him the baggie. "H-He gave it to me and I didn't tell you. But I-I swear I didn't touch it. I swear to god, Doyun, I didn't~"

    "Shut the fuck up, Jeongguk," Doyun says snatching the baggie. "Why the fuck wouldn't you tell me you saw him?"

    "I didn't want you to hurt me," Jeongguk answers honestly, trying to swallow his tears. "I knew you wouldn't like it~"

    "You're damn right I don't like it," Doyun snaps. "He comes and gives you drugs and you don't tell me about it? Why are you here now, huh? Are you high?"

    "No, I swear," Jeongguk says wiping his tears. "You can test me right now, I swear I'm clean, Doyun."

    "Then why are you here freaking out at two in the morning?" Doyun asks. "What's going on?"

    "I'm scared,"

    "Of what?"

    "Of myself," Jeongguk chokes out a broken sob. "I'm scared of myself right now, Doyun, and I can't be alone. Please, I don't have anyone else. You're all I have~"

    "Okay, okay, okay," Doyun says, his voice softening as he steps forward and pulls Jeongguk into his arms. "It's okay."

    "I'm sorry," Jeongguk sobs against him.  "I'm sorry~"

    "You gotta calm down, baby," Doyun says smoothing his hair down. "You aren't alone, okay? I'm right here, you're safe here."

Jeongguk's hands still shake as he clings to Doyun, his heart beating rapidly against his chest.

He was so afraid of himself right now, he was afraid of how reckless he was feeling.
He didn't realize until tonight that he had no one to lean on when he was feeling reckless, he had no one to talk him down from ruining himself.

He had Doyun, and he didn't want him. Being with Doyun felf like watching a movie and waiting for a jump scare that only happens when you least expect it.

He hated feeling on edge, but he also hated the voice in his head that was telling his sniff or shoot whatever he could get his hands on tonight.

He didn't want to go back. If he went back now he knew there was no coming back.

So he settled for being in a state of constant anxiety.

He settled for Doyun.

~

    "He's not here,"

Taehyung sighs, biting his lip nervously. He had expected Jeongguk to be at work this morning, but Yoongi tells him that he isn't.

    "D-Do you know~"

    "I don't know where he is, Taehyung," Yoongi says shaking his head. "I tried calling him at least a hundred times now."

    "Okay," Taehyung sighs, running his fingers through his hair. "Alright, thank you."

    "What happened?" Yoongi asks, standing from his chair and crossing his arms. "He showed up at my apartment all upset last night and I haven't heard from him since."

    "We had a fight," Taehyung says plainly.

    "About?" Yoongi asks. "He's my best friend, you can tell me."

    "H-He, uhm..." Taehyung trails off for a moment before continuing. "I found something in his medicine. I-I don't know what it was and he wouldn't tell me."

    "Something like what?" Yoongi asks furrowing his eyebrows.

    "I don't know, it was white powder in a little bag," Taehyung says. "I asked him what it was and we ended up fighting and he left."

Yoongi looks off, a dreadful look crossing his face.

    "Do you know what it was?" Taehyung asks. "Tell me, please?"

    "I gotta go," Yoongi says grabbing his keys and jacket. "I'm sorry, Taehyung, I have to go find him."

    "Can I go with you?" Taehyung asks. "Please, I'm worried sick about him."

    "This doesn't concern you, Taehyung," Yoongi says. "Do yourself a favor and stay out of this."

Taehyung watches in disbelief as Yoongi rushes out of the clinic.

~

Jeongguk fidgets nervously as he walks out of the bedroom and into the living room. He finds Doyun sitting on the couch drinking coffee and watching something on tv.

    "'Bout time you woke up," He says when he sees the younger. "I was just about to come check your pulse."

    "Ha ha," Jeongguk says dryly as he sits down on the opposite end of the couch. "Look, I need more medicine. Yoongi usually gets it filled for me and we haven't been talking."

    "Okay, I'll get it filled for you," Doyun says handing him the coffee cup in his hand. "I need you to take that when you get the chance." He says nodding halfheartedly at the drug test on the coffee table.

Jeongguk takes the coffee, letting the heat warm his hands. "I told you I would. I don't have anything to hide."

    "Yeah, well, you know what happens if you fail it," Doyun says looking at the tv. "I don't have to explain that to you again, do I?"

    "I won't fail," Jeongguk says, even though he knew for a fact that he would pass the test he still felt anxious about it.

    "Okay," Doyun says. "Are you going to work today?"

    "Do I have to?" Jeongguk asks. "I'm kinda mad at Yoongi right now."

    "Trouble in paradise?" Doyun laughs.

    "He's fucking Jimin," Jeongguk says looking down at the black coffee in his hands. "I went to him first, because I felt like I was gonna use, and he told me to leave. Because Jimin was there."

    "I guess Jimin figured that if he couldn't fuck you he'd fuck the person closest to you," Doyun says, chuckling in amusement.
"I don't care if you hang out here for today. That way I can keep my eye on you."

    "Okay," Jeongguk says. "I-If...If I started dating someone else, besides Yoongi, would you be upset?"

    "Why would I be upset?" Doyun asks. "Unless it's someone like Seonho, I don't care."

    "Oh," Jeongguk says. "Okay."

    "You're a fuck up so I doubt anyone will stick around for long anyway," Doyun says, always managing to sneak attack the younger. "But you already know that, don't you?"

    "Yeah," Jeongguk says, there was no point in arguing with him.

Doyun laughs. "You're funny."

    "I'm gonna do this now," Jeongguk says standing, leaving the coffee and grabbing the test before leaving the living room.

He wasn't worried about passing the test. He takes his phone with him and takes a picture of the results after they all come back negative. He takes Doyun the test, showing him that he passed before throwing it away.

    "You gotta keep doing the right thing," Doyun says as he watches the tv. "You'll be alright if you keep doing the right thing."

    "I know," Jeongguk says sitting down next to him, letting him put his arm around him.

He lays his head on his shoulder, sighing as he let himself be comforted by his embrace.