SOMETHING ELSE,

2019, SPRING.

Bae Yeojin writes to Kim Jiwoong sometimes, despite having his number saved to her phone. Perhaps it was the appreciation she'd grown for them after studying literature, but there was something about writing a letter that made her words deeper, much more intimate, than they would've been through a text message.

She'd been lying if she'd said she didn't miss him sleeping over, his presence beside her as he laid in her bed, sometimes talking about everything and nothing as they tried to fall asleep. It was strange, the way he'd left, his goodbye hurried and indirect as he stood on her doorstep after walking her home from class, refusing her invitation to come inside.

"Leaving?" Yeojin asked, her brows furrowing in confusion. "To Osaka? I thought that was in the summer." There was a hint of disappointment in her voice, as if she wished he wouldn't leave at all.

"It's just something I need to do," Jiwoong spoke, shoving his hands into his pockets as a cold breeze blew past them, Yeojin's hair moving with the wind and she reached her hand up to her face to move the strands away. "Maybe I'll find what I'm looking for there."

"What are you looking for?"

"A future."

Yeojin stared at him, the disappointment in her eyes shifting to a sort of sadness as she remembered their conversation last December. Her eyes glossed over, but she couldn't tell if it was from the gnawing cold or Jiwoong's words. "I didn't mean for you to take that seriously," she said, turning to fully face him and shutting the slightly ajar front door. "You said it yourself. We don't have to have everything figured out now."

Jiwoong let out a breath, shivering. "I know," he said. "But I've gotten to the point where I no longer want to be doing nothing with my life, Yeojin." He paused, sniffling. "I'm scared that I'll still be doing nothing by the time I'm thirty, just wasting time like I'm doing now."

"You think hanging out with me is a waste of time?" Yeojin's voice was quiet, almost as if she didn't mean for those words to get out. She kept looked at him, waiting for an answer, watching his gaze soften as he thought about how to respond — something that wouldn't hurt her feelings, something to let her down slowly.

"Of course not," he said. "That's not what I meant. You of all people know how much you mean to me. You're my best friend."

"Then what did you mean?"

He sighed. It was obvious to Yeojin that he didn't really want to tell her the truth, just an excuse that she'd accept. But despite that, Jiwoong could never find it in himself to lie to Yeojin, even when he wanted to the most. "There's meaning in everything you do, Yeojin," he said. "I envy that about you."

"There's nothing to envy," she said with a chuckle, half in disbelief. "I'm a train wreck. You know that."

"Yeah," Jiwoong said. "But I just think that the longer I stay here, following after you as you search for your own future and figure it out, the more I wish I had a clearer view of mine."

Kim Jiwoong left for Osaka in February, almost a month ago. Yeojin hadn't heard much from him, just a couple postcards sent to her address here and there. He was never much of a writer, so she never expected to receive an answer to any of the four letters she'd sent so far. And though she tries not to think about it, she can't help but feel that he'd forgotten about her while searching for something else, something more — something that wasn't where she was.

Yeojin sighed as she set her pen down, leaning back in her seat. She was seated in a coffee shop, waiting for Xiaoting to finish her shift so they could walk home together. She'd been writing her next letter to pass the time, but words seemed to fail her. All she could think about was how terribly she missed Kim Jiwoong's voice, how he'd probably be making fun of her in that moment for thinking too hard about what to say to him. She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply, then exhaling as she tried to remember her friend's voice, haunting her. He's doing it on purpose, she thought. He wants me to miss him.

"Excuse me?"

Yeojin's eyes opened, instantly meeting a man's softer, warmer gaze. She sat up, her eyes widening slightly as she watched the male smile politely. "Sorry to bother you," he spoke, his right hand playing with the strap of his backpack. "I just wanted to know if I could sit here for a moment." He gestured to the seat across from her.

"Oh, sure." Yeojin scrambled to clear her things from the table, shoving the unfinished letter into her bag. "Sorry about that."

"No, I'm sorry," he said, taking a seat. "I didn't want to bother you because you looked like you were sleeping, but every other seat is taken."

"It's alright," Yeojin said, waving him off. "I wasn't sleeping. Just thinking."

"Writing?" A smile rested on his face as he watched Yeojin's expression turn confused. "Sorry, I read some of what you wrote on that paper."

"Oh." Yeojin looked down at her bag, realizing she'd crumbled the letter up. She laughed, rubbing the side of her face as she turned back to look at the male in front of her. "Was it any good?"

He nodded, approvingly. "I think it's the best thing I've ever read," he said. "Was it a letter?"

"To my friend," she replied, sighing. "I don't think I'll send it, though. He never responds anyway."

"Really? How could he not?" The male had a surprised look on his face, almost offended for Yeojin. "You write so well! If anything, he's probably just thinking of how to respond to such a good letter."

Yeojin chuckled, leaning forward a bit. "I'm sorry, but are you a critic?" she asked, jokingly. She watched his ears turn red in embarrassment, his eyes now looking at the floor beneath them. She cleared her throat, stretching her hand out towards him. "I'm Bae Yeojin, by the way."

The male looked up, taking her hand in his. "Sung Hanbin," he spoke, shaking her hand. "Have we met before? You look familiar."

Yeojin let go of his hand, thinking. "Maybe," she said. "Or I might just have one of those faces."

"Perhaps." Hanbin looked away at the sound of his name being called by the barista behind the counter, standing up. He looked back at Yeojin, smiling. "It was nice to meet you. See you around?"

She nodded, reciprocating his smile. "I'll see you." She watched as Hanbin gave her a little wave, walking up to the counter and quietly thanking the barista as he took his drink, then left. Her eyes lingered on the spot where he'd sat across from her, wondering if she had ever ran into him in the past, crossing each other's paths without ever noticing.

"Who was that?"

Yeojin looked up at Xiaoting, the smell of coffee strong on her clothes as she took off her apron, signaling she was done with her shift. She looked at Yeojin questioningly, curious about the boy she was previously talking to. "Oh," Yeojin started. "Hanbin. He's nice. Are you done?"

Xiaoting nodded, taking a step back as Yeojin collected her things and stood up, pushing in her chair. "You know him?" she asked as they made their way to the door, a bell ringing as they opened it and left.

"Not really," Yeojin responded. "We just met."

"He's cute," Xiaoting said, her eyes lighting up. She then clung to Yeojin's arm playfully, smiling while the other girl looked at her annoyed. "If you ever get his number, send it my way."

"What happened to your crush on Jiwoong?" Yeojin asked, trying to shake her off and failing. Eventually, she gave up, letting Xiaoting have her way. "I thought he was 'the one'."

"He's bad at texting," Xiaoting said, sighing. "I wish he was the one, but he's so clearly not interested and I can't seem to figure out why." She frowned, leaning her head on Yeojin's as they walked home. "Has he said anything to you?"

Yeojin hated being reminded of the fact that Kim Jiwoong does not reply to any of her letters and takes at least two business days to read a text message. She hated thinking about it, knowing she tried so hard to keep in touch with him. She'd even gone to his apartment to find Matthew, who so clearly hated her, just to ask him if he could tell Jiwoong to text her back. Matthew never told him, though, despite seeing how desperate Yeojin was to hear from him.

"No," Yeojin sighed. They stopped walking, waiting for the cars to pass so they could cross the road. "I haven't heard anything from him."

"Anything?"

"Nothing."

"What a jerk," Xiaoting huffed. "It's been a month. Do you think he'll come back?"

In all honesty, Yeojin didn't know if she'd ever see Kim Jiwoong again. She was afraid that their friendship would've been short-lived, that he'd have already moved on before she could figure out what she wanted — if she wanted him. The more she thought about it, the harder her heart squeezed, as if he were holding it in the palm of his hands, squeezing it to remind her that he was, in fact, holding her heart. "I don't know," she mumbled. "A part of me wishes he would, or at least return a call from time to time."

Xiaoting looked at her, finally standing up straight, though her arm was still interlocked with Yeojin's. As much as she tried to ignore it, she couldn't help but think that perhaps she wasn't the only one who had a crush on Kim Jiwoong. Perhaps Bae Yeojin had one too, though she denied it every single time someone brought it up. But Xiaoting knew — she saw it in her eyes, the way they softened at the mention of his name, a hint of sadness noticeable before turning away, afraid that someone had seen the look on her face. Xiaoting had never cared before, afraid that she'd misunderstood what Yeojin really felt for Jiwoong, assuming that what they had was nothing more than a close bond.

But the longer Kim Jiwoong was away in a foreign country, the wider the distance between him and Yeojin became, and the more obvious it became to Shen Xiaoting that there was always something more between them, something other than friendship.

She just didn't understand why Bae Yeojin was so certain that, that wasn't it.

"Do you wanna go get dinner?" Xiaoting asked as they walked up the steps to their home, taking out her set of keys and unlocking the door. "Chaehyun mentioned this really nice restaurant that just opened up down the street."

"Sure," Yeojin replied with a nod, taking off her shoes as she shut the door behind her. "I haven't done groceries yet anyway."

"Okay," she said. "I'm gonna get the smell of coffee off me quickly, then we'll go."

"Take your time." Yeojin threw herself onto the couch in their living room, one leg on the couch and the other hanging off as she rested her left arm over her eyes, letting out a sigh of relief. "I'm not going anywhere." As she laid there in silence, waiting for Xiaoting to finish getting ready, her thoughts couldn't help but return to Jiwoong and his absence. She wondered how he could go so long without responding to her, even after he told her how much he'd miss her — to the point where he even considered cancelling his trip altogether. She thought about how cruel he was being, wondering if perhaps he found her reaching out entertaining. But as much as Bae Yeojin wanted to badmouth him, as much as she wanted to hate him for his sudden disappearance from her life, she couldn't.

In the end, she would always be there in the same place he'd left her, waiting for his return.