32 BRAVER AND SMARTER (JAY'S POV)

Christmas was around the corner but one could hardly tell any festivities was coming up. I used to like this time of the year but a lot had ruined the yuletide for me this year.

Rachael had bluntly told me she only loved me like a brother and that alone was enough to keep me up at night. We avoided each other like the plague and I knew that was for the best.

"I'm not going." I said to my mom for the third time.

"Why?" she asked again.

"Because I don't feel like going." I responded. "It's a stupid Christmas party for kids."

"But Rachael and Sebastian are going." she stated.

"Like I said; it's a stupid Christmas party for kids." I walked out of the kitchen and into the dinning room with my breakfast.

"Is there anything I should know about you and Rachael?" my mom walked in just as I was about to start eating.

"Anything like what?"

"You both haven't really spoken to each other. It's like you're avoiding each other. Did you guys fight?" I mentally rolled my eyes and heaved a sigh of frustration.

"Something like that." I mumbled before stuffing pancakes into my mouth.

"Arghh!" mom screamed while holding her head like it was going to fall apart.

"Another migraine?" I'd rushed to her side immediately. "Where did you keep the painkillers?"

"In the kitchen..." she'd managed to say in between yelps.

I'd rushed to the kitchen and got the pills from the kitchen cabinet. I had no idea why her migraines were getting worse by the day. She would wake up in the middle of the night and keep screaming and crying because of her head. She claimed to have gone to the hospital and they only prescribed painkillers which did little or nothing about the pains.

I watched as she downed the pills with a glass of water and her eyes had turned red. Huge eye bags and dark circles had formed under her eyes as a result of the sleepless nights.

For some time, I don't think anyone had been able to sleep.

"Is it the pains again?" I heard Rachael ask behind us after she walked in wearing her pajamas.

Since I was still angry with her, I said nothing which led my mom to nodding her throbbing head slightly in response to Rachael's question when she noticed I wasn't going to say anything.

"Sorry." Rachael mumbled before taking a seat on the other side of the table next to my mom.

"I'm going upstairs." mom said before walking away slowly same time Sebastian wheeled his way into the room with his usual frown.

"How was your night, Seb?" Rachael asked probably in attempt to start up a conversation with her brother.

"Who put my cup on the shelf again?" Sebastian growled instead while looking up at the shelf he couldn't reach. "You people know very well that I can't reach the shelf but you still put my cup up there!" he yelled.

"We can just get it for you! There's no need to shout!" Rachael yelled back while I sat and ate my food.

"I don't need you to be doing everything for me! I'm not useless or worthless!" Sebastian fired back.

"No one is saying you're useless." Rachael said calmly.

"I've lost my appetite." He wheeled away as fast as he could out of the dinning room.

"I don't know what is wrong with him." I heard Rachael say and I couldn't help but wonder who she was talking to. "Can you talk to him?" I was then sure she was talking to me after she'd asked that.

I felt sorry for her and her brother but my temper was getting the best of me and I decided it was best to walk out without saying anything I'd regret later.

"You must have lost your senses if you think I'm going to that party in a wheelchair." I heard Sebastian shout from downstairs. No doubt he'd been talking to his sister.

I'd closed the comic book I was reading and went downstairs to see what was happening for myself.

"Sebastian, have some respect, you're speaking to your elder sister." mom shunned.

"Half-sister." Sebastian corrected and the first thing I'd seen was the look of hurt on Rachael's face. Tears had filled her brown eyes and I felt like hugging her at that moment. Sebastian had never referred to her as half-sister.

"If you didn't want to go, you could have just said so." Rachael found the voice to say but Sebastian only went to his room without saying any other thing.

"Rach-"

"I'm going. I'm already late." said Rachael and before my mom could even speak, she ran out of the house- slamming the door behind her.

My mom turned around and saw me standing at the stairs. "Talk to that boy." she simply said before walking past me.

I had to knock for some minutes before convincing Sebastian to open the door and when he finally did, I sighed in relief.

"What do you want?" he growled as usual.

"We need to talk." I stated.

"About?"

"The way you've been acting lately." I replied. "...Its not proper."

"Being in a wheelchair isn't proper either." he snapped and I didn't know what else to say.

"I know you're angry and I know how tired and frustrated you feel... I've been there and I understand but you don't have to take it out on the people who care about you." I tried to explain.

"I don't want your care!" he snapped again. "It's just too much and I wish you guys would stop treating me like a baby just because my legs aren't working."

"Sooner or later you have to face the fact that you won't be able to do all the things you used to do and sometimes, you'll need help." I moved closer to him. "No man is an island and sometimes, we all need help."

Sebastian tried wiping the tears that ran down his cheeks while he wouldn't look up at me. "I hate this chair. I hate my life." he sobbed.

"Don't say that, Sebastian." I held his shoulder. "Just because you're in this wheelchair doesn't mean you won't be able to accomplish your dreams."

He shook his head as he finally began crying.

"Always remember: you're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." I told him - not exactly sure of what I was saying but it felt right.

"I'm sorry." he mumbled, finally managing to stop crying. "And I think you could use the same advice. I know finding out about your mother's brain tumor has been hard and I know you and Rachael aren't taking because she didn't tell you -"

"Wait, wait, wait. What are you talking about?" I stopped Sebastian to process what he'd just told me and his eyes widened in realization.

"They haven't told you?" Sebastian asked and all I could do was stare at him as I thought of the fact that my mom had brain tumor. "I thought they already told you. Oh my God..."

Sebastian had said something else but I couldn't hear him since I'd rushed out the door and ran upstairs in search of my mother. She wasn't in her room or in the kitchen meaning she'd gone out.

I'd dialed her number but she wasn't picking up. I felt like I'd go mad if I didn't see my mom immediately. Words couldn't describe the feeling of being betrayed I felt.

The thought of something like this being kept from me was driving me crazy. Rachael knew what it felt like to loose a parent and she knew perfectly well I'd already lost my dad and my mother was all I had left so why would she keep something that was a matter of life and death from me?

Without thinking, I decided to go to school and finally give Rachael a piece of my mind. Call me irrational and temperamental but I was raging like a volcano waiting to erupt and I was going to erupt on Rachael.

I got off the cab and marched into the school like I owned the place and I didn't care if I was still wearing my pajamas. Rachael had hurt me a lot of times but it was nothing compared to this.

The loud music coming from the huge speakers in the hall was nothing compared to the fury and anger that pumped in my heart.

I didn't mind the stares I got or the various people calling out my name. I simply looked around for Rachael and I spotted her in a corner having what seemed like a heated discussion with Yvonne.
I stormed over to where they stood and shoved Yvonne by the side. "Who exactly do you think you are, Rachael?"

"Wha- Jay..." she was speechless.
"Above all the things you could've done to hurt me you chose to not tell me about my mom's condition?" I shouted. "How dare you?"

"Jay, she asked me not to tell you, what did you expect me to do?" Rachael said.

"You both need to get out of here now!" I heard Yvonne say. She looked terrified but I simply ignored her.

"You are really something else! You're a liar and a snake!" I yelled and I got the attention of a few people.

I saw the look of hurt in Rachael's eyes once more. "W-what did you just call me?"

"Rachael, let's go... Something bad is going to..." Yvonne trailed off while pulling Rachael's arm.

"You're a snake and I hate you!" I yelled at her again and immediately regretted it.

Just as Rachael had opened her mouth to speak, a loud gunshot thundered followed my a bullet which hit the wall next to us. Yvonne had pulled Rachael hard enough for them both to take cover on the floor and within two seconds of screaming and chaos, another gunshot was heard but this time, I could feel the hot bullet pierce through my chest.

"We're loosing him."

"I don't he's going to make it."

"The wound is too deep. I can't get the bullet out."

Beep... Beep... Beep

I saw the bright, white light an as I walked further into the light, I could see my dad waiting for me with his outstretched hand.

"He's not going to make it. He's loosing too much blood."

Beep... Beep

Smiled at me and I walked further into the light to meet him.

"We can't save him."

Taking one look back, I turn to my dad and finally take his hand.

Beeeeeeeeeep....

"We've lost him."