30 TALKING IT OUT.

I'd never known the definition of 'awkward' until Sebastian got home from the hospital. He wasn't talking to me and he had outrightly behaved like I'd sold one of his kidney without his consent. The fact that he was angry with and wouldn't let me help him with anything since he was in that chair was also not making things easier.

As though my issues with my brother wasn't enough, Jay kept asking if I knew what was going on with his mother and I kept resisting the urge to tell him why he's mother was obviously looking worse day after day. I knew Jay would be angry with me just like Sebastian if he happened to find out I knew all these while but I still had to respect Mrs. Jacobs' decision and wait till we we're done with the whole adoption process which I was still yet to inform my little brother about.

"Sebastian, we need to talk." I knocked on the door of his new room which was now downstairs next to the kitchen because he couldn't possibly climb the stairs with wheels. "Please, open the door."

I sighed in relief after I heard him unlocking the door. I opened the door to see him wheeling back to his bedside.

"What do you want?" asked Sebastian with his bitter tone.

"There's something important I want to tell you. I don't want to keep anything from you anymore." I explained.

"It's about time." he murmured before struggling to climb unto his bed and before I could help him, he'd gotten on the bed safely. "What do you want to tell me?"

I hesitated before finding the voice to continue, "Mrs. J wants to adopt us?"

Sebastian was mute for awhile with a look of confusion, "And you agreed?"

"Why wouldn't I?" I was confused as to why he asked that question.

"After you received a letter from your grandfather saying he wants to take care of you and take you to one of the most outstanding universities in the world, you still want to be adopted by-"

"Adopted by who?" I cut him off out of anger. "May I remind you that the woman you're talking about is the person that gave you a home when you had nowhere to go. She protected us and treated us like her own kids and this is how you want to repay her? By leaving her?"

"Rachael, are you even listening to yourself?" he sat up, "Why stay here and be more of a burden to her when you could go back to your family and shower her with good things? You'll not only be doing yourself good by going with grandpa but you'll be doing Jay and his mother a great deal."

"Sebastian, you don't even know this man. He disowned our dad and you can't just believe he will take care of us through a bunch of letters." I argued.

"I already talked with him on the phone." my brother dropped a bomb on me. "He's a good man."

"I cannot believe this." I muttered.

"Why are you being so stubborn?!" yelled Sebastian.

"She has cancer!" I yelled back almost immediately. "She has cancer, Sebastian."

"W-what?" he murmured while looking down at the ground.

"She needs us more than ever. This woman has been my second mother and my saviour for the past couple of months and I'm not going to leave her just because I got an offer to go to Harvard from a man who didn't care all these years."

"Oh God! I didn't know." Sebastian's voice was indistinct as he covered his face with his palms.

"Jay doesn't know." I sat next to Sebastian on the bed. "She doesn't want to tell him till we're legally her children."

"This is messed up."

After my explanatory talk and partial reconciliation with Sebastian, I knew that there was one more person I needed to speak with.

Even if I wasn't going to tell Jay about his mother's illness, I needed to talk this out with him concerning the adoption.

"Come in, Rachael." I heard Jay say after I'd knocked the first time making me wonder how he knew I was the one at the door.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked when I'd walked in.

"I gave Sebastian permission to stop knocking before entering and mom doesn't care if I'm naked when she walks in majestically, so..."

"Okay..." I said and we both chuckled.

"So, what's up?" he asked before sitting at the edge of his bed. I joined him.

"Your mom wants to adopt me and my brother." I told him and watched the mixed expression on his face. I knew he would be taken aback by the news.

"Are you serious?" was the first thing Jay asked me and I could only nod. "Is that what you want?" I could sense the sadness in his tone as he tried to hide it in his expression. I knew I had to choose my next words carefully.

"That's what's best for everybody." I said sincerely.

"You didn't answer my question." he said immediately.

I gulped down and gathered the courage I would need to lie. "Yes. Yes, that's what I want."

He looked away and focused his gaze on the floor. "So we're going to be siblings."

"Yeah, officially." I mumbled.

"But I like you."

I could've sworn my heart skipped a beat after Jay had said that. He looked up at me with pleading eyes but I didn't know what exactly he wanted or expected me to do at that moment.

"And I love you..." I trailed off. "As a brother..." I added and shattered the glimpse of hope that had come on Jay's eyes for a split second. "I need to go and get ready. Sebastian and I are going to see our dad and let him know about our plan."

I quickly left Jay's room leaving him there looking so heartbroken and sad. I felt like a bad person and I felt like I was making a mistake but I only wanted this to be as normal as possible. After everything I'd been through, all I was asking for was a normal and happy family and Mrs. Jacobs was the only person who had given me that and I wasn't going to let that go.

I wasn't ready for any changes. Not yet.

I'd never been to a prison before. This was the first time I would be seeing my dad in a year. I couldn't tell how I felt.

The prison was as expected, untidy and it had a horrible smell too. Someone once told me that the inmates would defecate in their cells and most times, they were overcrowded in one cell which made me think of how my dad had survived a year in there.

Sebastian and I had jumped on our dad as soon as we saw him. My heart was beating so fast out of excitement. I was so grateful that he was okay.

He didn't look that bad. He only looked a little skinny out of the malnutrition he must've been experiencing.

We'd spent ten minutes talking about how we've been and everything that had happened in the past year.

"Thank you very much for taking care of my kids. This means a lot to me." dad said to Mrs. Jacobs.

"No problem." Mrs. Jacobs smiled genuinely.

"I have no problem with her adopting you guys." as soon as my dad had said that, I realized that Mrs. Jacobs adopting us would also mean taking away his right as a parent. "But you said your grandfather..."

"Yes, he wants us to come to Abuja. We wanted to hear your suggestion." said Sebastian.

"The only thing I can tell you is that going with your grandfather would be very different from what you're used to but it's going to be exciting to get to learn about your British origin. And your cousins will be there too." dad said. "But if you stay with Mrs. Jacobs, your happiness is guaranteed and I'm not just saying it because I trust her so well." he laughed a little.

"So, in order words, you're saying that it's left for us to decide." I stated and my dad nodded.

"Anyway, darling, you haven't told me what you plan on studying." dad held my hands.

"I'm still deciding." I said.

"Okay, but can I make a suggestion?" he asked and I nodded. "With everything you've been through and your hard experience as a teenager, I think you'd make an excellent psychologist. Someone to guide others."

As soon as he'd mentioned 'psychologist' it sunk in. It felt like that was the profession in my heart all this while and I was glad he'd helped me figure it out.

"I think you're right." I grinned.

In as much as we didn't want to leave, our time was up and we had to bid goodbye for the meantime.

On the ride back home, I knew Sebastian and I had to makeup our minds and arrive at a decision.

But the truth still remained; whatever decision we made would change our lives forever.