Part 2 of Winter Formal (continuation of yesterday's chapter)

Vanessa

I bit my lip as I watched Matt stomp out of the gym. I couldn't help but feel responsible for how the evening had turned out since I was the one that brought Chris as my date. True, I was angry with Matt for leading me on but that didn't mean he deserved the insults that Chris had hurled his way.

What made me feel even worse, is that I hadn't even stuck up for him. He was right. I was a lousy friend. I stared at my hands twisted together in my lap realizing that I owed him an apology. I had to stop punishing him for not returning my feelings. He had the right to love whomever he wanted, even if it wasn't me. A real friend would respect that. Sighing, I excused myself to go after him.

I found him outside in the courtyard, sitting on the stone bench by the oak tree with his head hung in his hands. My gut wrenched at the sight. I loved him so much and the last thing I had meant to do was cause him misery. I had only wanted to prove that I wasn't bothered by him not wanting to date me but in doing so, I had caused us both pain.

"Are you ok," I asked softly, taking a seat beside him.

He turned his body away from me and I thought I had caught a glimpse of him wiping at his eye before he moved out of my sights. "I'm fine," he spat out, his voice as cold as the January night air.

I reached out, placing my hand on his arm but he brushed it off causing me to wince. Ok, I deserved that. "Don't listen to Chris. You're not dumb, Matt."

At that, he turned to face me, his eyes flashing with an emotion I couldn't read. "What do you see in that loser, V?"

I exhaled. "To be honest, nothing. I wish you had seen it. Addison kicked him out so fast. She told him to fuck off and that you were our friend and if he was going to talk shit on you then he could just see himself out the door." I smiled at the memory. Leave it to Addison to have her friend's back. Although, at the same time it only made me feel guiltier. I should have been the one to have his back.

He nodded. "Why is it always only her to defend me? I thought..." He trailed off, his voice catching on the last word.

I moved in closer to him, my heart rate picking up. "You thought what?"

He swallowed as he looked me in the eye. "I thought we shared some type of a bond. That we actually had a connection, V." He stared down at the ground. "Perhaps it's only ever been one-sided this entire time," he mumbled.

I wasn't sure if he was admitting to having feelings for me or if he was just stating that we were really close friends but I decided to play it the safe route. I took a deep breath. "Matt, I'll never be as bold as Addison is. Confrontation of any kind is something I'm just not capable of." I reached out to grab his hand and give it a squeeze. "But I'm always here for you if you need to talk and I genuinely want to be a part of your life."

Matt gave a faint smile. "I haven't much felt like that's been the case lately."

I stared at my feet, wishing I could take back all the hurt I had caused him. "I know. I'm sorry but just because I'm not as loud and as in your face about it as Addie is doesn't mean I don't care about you."

He looked up at me and the hurt I saw reflected in his eyes, twisted my insides with guilt. "Did I do something to upset you?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, willing myself not to cry. I had been the one that had been so awful to him and here he was blaming himself. I would never deserve him. Sighing, I shook my head. "I was going through some stuff Matt but I wasn't being fair to you. I realize that now and hope that you can forgive me."

Matt moved a little closer and put his arm around me, looking me in the eye. "You know I care about you too, right? A lot."

I nodded. Deep down inside I knew. Even if he didn't return my feelings, I knew that at the very least he cherished me as a friend and that I could always count on him to be there when I needed him. I gave him a slow smile. "You mean it? Even if I did steal your seat in the 9th grade?"

He grinned, reaching up to muss my hair. "I mean, I'll admit that was a hurdle we had to overcome but nonetheless, I still love you, V. You and Addison both. You can steal all my seats for the rest of my life and nothing will ever change that."

I nestled my head into his shoulder. "I love you too, Matt." To him, my statement would appear as if I was just reciprocating the friendly declaration but what he didn't know, was that when I whispered those three little words, I was confessing to a whole other kind of love for him.

***

Matt

Vanessa's head fit perfectly into the crook of my shoulder. I rested my head against hers as we sat there in comfortable silence, listening to the faint sounds of music wafting from the open windows of the gymnasium. As the seconds stretched into minutes, neither of us making the move to get up, I realized that what I had actually wanted to say was that I was in love with her.

I knew that to be true without a doubt in my mind now. She was perfect for me in every way and the only thing holding me back from telling her was the fear of losing the deep friendship we had built. I had never been this close to another and I didn't want to jeopardize it.

After another few minutes of staying like that, Vanessa slowly raised her head off of me and smiled as a flush spread across her cheeks. It was unusual for her to be so affectionate towards me and I was certain that she was probably just now realizing what she had done and was embarrassed by it. But still, something in her expression looked wistful.

I nudged her with my shoulder. "You ready to head back inside? I can't feel my fingers and I think there might be some pizza rolls leftover that are calling our names."

She laughed. "Ah, food. You always seem to know the way to my heart-" She stopped abruptly, covering her face with her hands. "Er...I mean you always know the things to bribe me with," she stammered out. "I love food."

"Me too. Good thing for our fast teenage metabolism or else we might be in some real trouble here." I stood up, holding out my hand to her. She stared at it for a fraction of a second and then gingerly placed her palm in mine. Was I imaging it or did she seem reluctant to touch me? She had no reason to be timid with me.

I helped her up and she started to look go of my hand but instead, I held firm, pulling her in close. Wrapping my arms around her, I squeezed her tightly. The familiar scent of vanilla teased my nostrils. Her body felt nice and cozy molded against me and I wanted nothing more than to spend all my evenings with her, like this.

I could have held on to her forever but I knew if we stayed that way any longer, I would be tempted to move my lips over hers and there would be no turning back from that. Instead, I simply said, "Welcome back, Friend. I've missed you. "

A/N Next update 2/15. Addison throws a party when her parents are away and....you guys that's the last update standing between us and Junior Prom. That update has been living rent free in my head and well....you'll see. 

Also in case I haven't mentioned it here, upload days are Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays with sometimes a bonus day if I've split a chapter into two or am doing something fun like a character text exchange.