July

Vanessa

It had been a few weeks since Matt and I talked it out at the Graduation party and although we didn't immediately fall right back into being friends, we had developed a new understanding with one another.

There weren't any plans in the works to hang out but whenever we wound up at the same parties, we were at least able to make small talk at the drink table without it being awkward. It wasn't until one day in early July, that we were able to move past polite conversation about the weather and chat about a subject that was a tad more personal.

I was debating on whether I wanted to mix my orange soda with vodka or rum when Matt approached. He scanned the selection, picking up different bottles and reading over the labels. He raised one brow as he held out a glass for me to inspect that contained a terracotta liquid. "Have you ever had cherry whiskey before?" He asked.

"No," I replied, laughing. "I prefer sticking with what I know."

"Aw, come on," he urged, waving a cup in front of my face. "Where's your sense of adventure?" He paused to take a sip, instantly making a sour expression.

"Tasty?" I inquired, covering my mouth so that he couldn't see my smirk.

Coughing, he set his drink down. "Delicious. You're missing out."

I poured myself a cocktail, deciding on a creamsicle flavored vodka to pair with the soft beverage I had at hand. "I'm all set. There will be no walking on the wild side for me. I'm a good girl that does my homework and obtains my A's-"

"Gets into fights," Matt finished, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

I furrowed my brows as I stared at him. "I never got into any altercations..."

Grinning, he took another swallow of alcohol. "Ahh, I guess I must have dreamt about that ass-kicking you gave Kayla then."

Oh my gosh. I forgot all about that. I froze, contemplating whether I should crawl under the table until he left. But then I had another thought. Hadn't Matt insisted that nothing I could say or do would ever be foolish to him? I straightened out my shoulders, looking him straight in the eye. "Nope. It wasn't a dream or a fantasy. We absolutely got into a scuffle, but I know you rooted for me to win, correct?"

Matt chuckled at my unexpected answer, dribbling a mouthful of whiskey down his chin. "Vanessa Adams, how dare you suggest that I pick you over my own girlfriend? What kind of man do you think I am?'

Girlfriend. That's right. Him and Kayla are still dating. That meant he wasn't single and that I should put a halt to any flirting that we may have been doing.

Picking up my cup, I scanned the room for Addison. "Um...I should probably go find Addie. I told her that I would help her decide which member of the soccer team she should make out with tonight."

Matt furrowed his brows as he studied me. "Did I say something to upset you?"

So clueless. "No," I lied, forcing a cheerfulness into my voice. "You know Addison. She'll whine for the next two days if I blow her off."

"Don't I know it," he muttered. Then, raising his glass towards me, he nodded. "Alright. I'll see you around then."

I made my way through the crowd, needing a quiet spot to reflect on what had just occurred. Why am I so bothered by him calling Kayla his girlfriend? Is it possible that I still have feelings for him?

Unfortunately, my moment of solitude didn't last very long as Addison was instantly all over me the moment I walked away as though she were my second skin.

"What were you saying to Matt? I saw you two talking." She clutched her chest. "And it looked...friendly."

I hadn't bothered to mention graduation night to her because I knew she would push me into spending time with him and I just wasn't ready for that. If he and I had any hope of being friends again, I knew we had to take things at a pace that we were both comfortable with.

I shrugged. "We decided it was childish to hold grudges against each other, so we smoothed things over. No big deal."

Addison pressed the back of her hand to her forehead, appearing as though she were about to have an aneurysm. "No big deal," she exclaimed. "This is the news of the century!" She raised her hands in the air as she broke out into a little jig. "Do you have any idea what this means?! We can all hang out again."

"Not so fast," I replied, holding my palms up. "We're just being civil. Nothing further."

She grabbed hold of my wrists, twirling me around with her. It's a shame she never participated in drama club as she sure has a flair for theatrics. "It doesn't matter, V. This is amazing! Think about it. First comes the small talk, then a brush of the hand followed by smoldering glances, and then BOOM!" She clapped, startling me into dropping my drink on the floor. "Before you know it, you're in love again."

"We really need to find you another boyfriend," I said, laughing. "You're way too obsessed with mine and Matt's relationship." I glanced around the room. "Maybe Jeff's here tonight and you two can get back together."

Frowning, she made a face. "Ew, no thank you. I plan on remaining unattached for at least the first year of college."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, Addie, whatever makes you happy. But I must warn you, if you start butting into my love life too much, I'm signing you up for online dating."

Linking her arm through mine, she guided me down a grassy hill towards the pond. "Would it be weird if I called him to go to a movie or something?"

I lifted a brow as I glanced over at her. "Jeff? I don't think so. He might be down for a summer fling."

"Not him," she replied, nudging me in the ribs with her elbow. "Matt. Would you mind?"

"Oh." Squinting, a slid a curious look her way. "No. I suppose not. But if I didn't know any better, I would swear that you loved him."

"Gross," she exclaimed. "He's like a brother to me." She stuck her finger in her mouth, pretending to gag.

"Mhm," I answered, a smile on my lips. "Riiight. He's so disgusting, which is why you always say he's gorgeous, yea?"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. I can admit that, but can you?" Raising her eyebrows, she gave me a pointed expression.

"Of course, I can. You know that. I've stated that to the point where you had to ban me from discussing the way Matt looks with you."

As we reached the sandy shore, she tugged me down to sit beside her. "Duh. I'm more than aware that you can easily admit that to me. I'm daring you to tell him that."

"Oh...um." I stared out at the murky waters, mosquitos buzzing overhead. "I don't think that's a good idea, Addie. We just made up and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize our truce. What would saying that to him even accomplish?"

She shrugged. "This could be the beginning of something new for you two." Glancing over at me, she cupped my face in her hands. "V, you've grown so much this past year. You're not that same quiet girl that you were four years ago when Matt first approached you. Don't you think it's time you gave it a real shot with him?"

Sighing, I stared down at the sand as I traced squiggly lines through the grains with my fingers. "I'm not sure he even wants that anymore. He's still dating Kayla, you know."

She waved her hand. "Forget her. She has nothing on you and the bond you shared with Matt. I'm willing to bet he would dump her in a second for you."

"They've been dating since October," I replied, eyeing my friend. "Their relationship must be pretty serious if they haven't broken up by now. He probably even loves her."

She placed one hand on my shoulder. "You will never know if you don't speak up. You need to stop running and face your fears."

I raised my gaze to the darkening sky, streaks of navy mixing in with the deep crimson of the setting sun. His acknowledgment of his girlfriend had zapped me with a sting that I hadn't been expecting. Did I ever even get over him?

Perhaps, I didn't need to search for the answer in the stars that twinkled in the galaxy above. Is it so wrong to just go with the flow and see what happens? Maybe what I needed for once was to not think and just do. Hadn't I already learned the lesson that hiding in my brain only left my heart neglected?

I chugged the rest of my drink, setting the cup down with conviction. "I'll tell him," I announced.

***

Fourth of July Night

Vanessa

"You just keep getting hotter and hotter every summer, don't you?" Peering out from inside her closet, Addison raked her gaze over me. She pressed her fingertip to her cheek, making a sizzling sound.

Laughing, I did a three-sixty rotation as I admired myself in the mirror. I had decided to ditch the tight corset tops and push-up bras that lifted my boobs up to my chin in favor of a soft, black t-shirt that just skimmed my navel. This is way more me, I thought, adjusting the belt on my denim cut-offs. On my feet, my trusty ankle boots were still going strong after four years.

I had kept the caramel highlights though and still occasionally straightened out my waves but discarded all my cosmetics in the trash. The hour it took me every day to cake my face underneath a layer of makeup was too high maintenance. I had rather use the extra minutes to stay cozied up in my bed. "For the first time, I think I might agree with you, Addie. I look hot!"

"That's my girl," she cheered, emerging from the closet in a blue romper and red wedges. She gave me a smack on the butt before leaning in closer to the mirror to apply a cherry shade of lipstick. "Do you think there will be any college guys at the fireworks tonight?"

I giggled, combing my fingers through my sleek tresses. "I thought you were intent on staying boyfriendless."

Wiggling her brows, she made eye contact with me in the reflection. "I never said anything about not hooking up, now did I?"

"She's baaack," I teased. "I missed single Addison."

She blew kisses at her mirrored self. "So do I. Remind me never to fall in love again." Then exhaling, she turned to face me. "Alright, sister. Are you ready to rock-n-roll?"

I stared at her as I curled my lip up in a sneer. "Please don't ever use that phrase again."

Throwing her head back in laughter, she guided me out the door. "Let's get to that party, stat before I completely forget how to be cool."

We arrived at the lake a little after sundown. A group of guys were lighting off a batch of ground fireworks by the shore. The big ones wouldn't come until later when the sky was shrouded in darkness.

Addison wasted no time pulling on my sleeve, squealing as she pointed in the distance. "There's Matt! Let's go say hi."

I rolled my eyes. The girl is obsessed. Is this how she felt when I was massively crushing on him? God, I must have been so annoying. "Okay," I reluctantly agreed, figuring I owed her one.

Matt grinned as soon as he saw us approaching, holding out his arms for Addison to take a running leap into. She nearly toppled him over from the sheer force of her hug. "Shoot," he muttered, wiping up the beer that had sloshed over the rim of his cup and onto her bare arm. But she was too busy squeezing the guts out of him to even realize what had occurred.

Our gazes met over the top of her head, and he gave me a small wave. Releasing her, he leaned in to give me a slight embrace. "Hey, V." A waft of his cedarwood scent tickled my nostrils and I was instantly transported back to high school.

"Hi," I replied, gulping. Yup. I was definitely back in freshman year.

Pulling away, he studied the both of us. "And how are you two ladies doing this fine evening?"

"You know us," Addison beamed as she sidled up to him and took a swig of his drink. "Up to no good as always."

"Hmm, is that right?" He slid his gaze over to me.

Kicking at the grains of sand beneath my feet, I shrugged. "I'll never tell." I mimed zippering my lips and throwing away the key.

"Tsk, tsk," he scolded, shaking his head. "Just try not to get arrested, please. I don't have the money to bail you out." He raised his cup towards us as he turned to walk away. "You girls have fun tonight."

Addison darted out in front of him, blocking his path. He stopped abruptly, his beverage spilling out of its container and onto the ground. "They're shooting off fireworks down by the shore. Come check it out with us," she begged.

I winced at the desperation in her voice, praying that Matt didn't think any of this was coming from me. I shot her a warning look. Knock it off, Addie.

"What?" She mouthed to me before returning her expectant gaze on him.

He clasped her on the shoulder as he moved around her. "Sorry, Addie. No can do. Kayla's waiting on me."

Kayla. Of course, he would rather be with her. I internally rolled my eyes. Who was I kidding to believe that there was still any sparks left between us? He may have loved me once, but she was his girlfriend now.

Addison placed a hand on his arm, a pleading expression in her eyes. "Please?" She whispered softly. "Just for five minutes. I really miss you, Matt." She pouted her lips and batted her lashes. The girl had a knack for laying it on thick.

Sighing, he shifted his gaze over towards me. I raised my shoulders in response. "Oh, alright. I suppose she can wait a few more minutes." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and began texting someone that I presumed to be Kayla.

"Yay!" Addison cheered, clapping her hands before she barreled in his direction for another hug that actually did knock him off his feet.

We made our way down towards the edge of the water, spreading out in the sand. "Sit, V," Addison commanded, patting the space beside Matt. She grabbed his cup from his hand, chugging the liquid down in one gulp. "Oh shoot. Would you look at that?" she remarked, tapping the empty plastic. "Time for a refill."

As she bounded away back up the hill, Matt and I smirked at each other. "So much for her missing me," he laughed, tossing his hands up. "It appears that I've been played, and we are being set up here."

"Mhm," I agreed. "That does seem to be the case. Little does she know that we are pros at hanging out alone and not letting a single thing happen."

"That's not true," he teased, nudging me with his shoulder. "We held hands that one day while we watched television."

Pulling my knees up, I wrapped my arms around them. "Ah, yes. We were so brave."

"Hey," he retorted, shifting his gaze towards the night sky. "It took young Matt every ounce of courage he had to pull off such a bold move." I followed his sights in the direction of the constellations. "Wow, Polaris looks really bright this evening," he commented.

At that exact moment, a shooting star streaked across the inky blackness. Without thinking, I grabbed his arm as I used my other hand to point at the phenomenon. "Make a wish!"

Grinning, he stared at me before growing serious. "I wish-"

"Ssh," I interrupted, covering his mouth. "Don't tell me. Remember what I said to you during the camping trip? If you speak your hopes aloud, they won't come true."

"Sorry," he said, holding up his hands. "Mum's the word. I'll keep it to myself. I would hate for Addison to think I've turned into a gossip. She'll never stop clucking in my ear ever again."

At the mention of our friend, he glanced around the shoreline. "I do believe we've been duped and she's standing us up."

Nodding, I skimmed the crowd but didn't see any glimpse of her. "How about we fix ourselves a drink then since we clearly aren't getting what was promised to us?"

"Sounds like a plan." He stood up, brushing the sand from his jeans. Then reaching down, he grabbed my hand to hoist me up.

The force of his pull caused me to stumble as I arose, and I knocked into him. "Oops." Boots and sandy terrain do not mix.

He caught my arms, steadying me. "Easy now. I don't have the cash to pay a hospital bill either."

Our eyes met and an electric shock coursed through my veins. He instantly flicked his gaze away and I knew he felt it too. "So...um...that beverage..."

"Yea, sure. Let's go get it," I replied, my voice shaky.

I followed him over to the table and he began mixing liquids together without even bothering to read any of the labels. Wordlessly, he handed me a cup. I took a swig, needing something to calm my rattled nerves. "Gross!" I exclaimed, leaning over to spit the alcohol out onto the grass. "What is this?"

He chuckled. "Not a fan? I'll make you something else then."

"No way," I replied, nudging him out of the way. "I'll do it myself. After tasting that monstrosity, I don't trust you. If I didn't know any better, I would swear you were trying to poison me." Shaking my head, I unscrewed a bottle of clear liquid. "And here I thought we were trying to be civil."

As I glanced up, I gave him a wicked grin. "But if you want to play dirty, then it's on, Matthew Jones. I just can't promise that someone won't get hurt."

***