In another life,
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were
The one that got away

We're captives of what we love, and maybe that's what I was. Held captive, by Nandini Murthy for the last two years. My quivering fingers reached for the case of liquor safely tucked away in my blazer's pocket, I needed it now more than ever.

"Manik, it's time! You're on in five," my manager shouted, making his way into the green room.

"Make it ten, and get the fuck out," he didn't need me to say it twice.

It was the day I had waited all my life for, my first ever movie premier. All that I had worked for in the last eight months was going to be put out in front of the world, I had an abnormal feeling in my stomach, some might call it anxiety.

"Are the nerves finally kicking in now?" It was Meera, my girlfriend, and my co-actress. My girlfriend for the cameras at least.

"Why are you in my vanity, have you run out of men to seduce?" Rolling my eyes, I poured myself another drink.

"Have you always been such a jerk or do you save this special treatment just for me?"

"Meera, I really don't want to ruin my mood before I have to act all mushy with you in front of the cameras for the next two hours, it would be in your best interest to just leave," I think she sensed the threat underlying my calm tone, as I saw her almost run out of the vanity, I had that influence on people.

I had five minutes left before I had to go back to reality, outside this vanity, in front of the lights, doing what I do best, act.

I grabbed my phone from the table, and played the only voicemail it had, "Hello, Romeo," she was giggling, "I'm quite the chicken because I can't do more than leave you this voicemail. Maybe, in a different world, a different reality and different circumstances, we could be together, where the time would be right.." she sucked in a sharp breath, and I could feel my heart pounding as hard as it did when I first heard this voicemail, "you remember, you would always tell me our ending would always be poetic, just like our love was, but I guess we were only made of goodbyes, and what's more poetic than that, Romeo? I love you too much to give you a relationship that came with an expiry date. We were like cancer to each other, nothing but tainted, and you always cut off the limb to save the rest of the body. Life has given you a second chance, I don't want you to waste it, I want you to be happy, the happiest you've ever been, and that won't happen till I stay. I used to always tell you, to gain something worthwhile, you have to lose something worthwhile, and for your happiness, I choose to lose you. And who knows, maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, we are soulmates. Maybe this was all that our story was supposed to be, but I want you to know, no matter what, I'll always choose you, over and over again," her voice disappeared into the deafening silence that enveloped me.

"I guess I'll always choose you too," my voice was quieter than I expected it to be, as I pushed the substance-laden syringe deeper into my veins.

Once upon a time, an Angel fell in love with a Devil, it was absolute disarray. It was one hell of a story, it was my story, and I knew, it was time to revisit its chapters.

I momentarily glanced at her black leather- bound notebook lying carelessly on the desk. Sparing it one final look, I darted out of the vanity, back to my world.

Hope you enjoyed reading.
Love,
manikmalhotras.